My Stepson is 13 and watns nothing more than to complain and watch television. He hates school which he moved to a new city with us at the beginning of the school year, (some of that I believe may stem from the fact that he has no friends at school and does not want to make any). He does not want to do any school work which is typical but we even have him ready to play baseball which he wanted to play untill we said he could. He claims he has no friends because they would live a few miles form where we live which is not an issue and his Father or myself infact we encourage him to have friends call friends in the evening invite friends to go out skating, biking, anything we do. I dont know what to do and I see him loosing out on great times with friends. What can we do?
You can call the school councalor and talk to them. They can set him up with a mentor. If he attends Barwise they also have a service called Communities in Schools that is wonderful too. The schools have high school students that come in also once a week. These students are PALS. If you need to call the principal and let them lead in a direction also. I hope this helps.
When we moved to Texas from Florida my 15 and 12 year old girls, we went through a similar problem, as we didn't know anyone at all. The oldest one specially, was very angry at me and my husband for making her move. There is not much we can do for them, they slowly start opening up to other kids, but it does take time. What I did though, is get both of them involve with the ne city. I figured that if they started liking the place, they would open up to the people. So I made both of them go hiking with me and our dog (we were very close to a park). We took them down town, to the lake ...etc. Little by little they both loosened up and now have friends of their own. All this in 1 year 1/2. I hope sharing this helps...S.
I have a 13 year old daughter from another mother, she has lived with her father since she was very young and with us together since we married almost 4 years ago. For many years she did nothing but watch TV, and play in her room (very rarely). We just continue to encourage her, she finally has started aving a friend come over and she goes over there this has all been in the last 2 months, and this week she decided to try to learn to skate so every afternoon she has gone out rollerblading in the drive way. Just keep encouraging him and I feel that it will change. I am very new to this mamasource, oh like 5 minutes so I don't know how it really works. It said to help other mothers in my area but I am not sure. I hope this works for you and I know by loving him through it all will go well. Good luck
Family Counseling.
Divorce is hard on children. Moving around, etc...
Also - you could turn off the TV and interact.
GOOD LUCK
Honestly, it sounds like your step-son may be dealing with some depression. Loss of interest in normal activities and staying to himself can be tell-tale signs. I would first take him to his pediatrician and if he feels everything is ok I would recommend counseling. If you have recently moved he may be having a hard time adjusting. Especially if he moved from an area he had lived in for most of his life. I wish you all the best. Being a parent is difficult, being a step-parent is EXTREMELY difficult.
Hi D. - I don't know if you and your husband are Christians, but getting your son into a good youth group could be the very thing that helps. I have a 13 year old daughter and she is extremely involved in her youth group. It is a good way to let them interact and socialize with kids their own age in a good environment. I go to Trinity Christian Center in Angleton - we have a fantastic youth group - if you are interested I would be happy to give you more information! Another thing you could look into is reading "The Five Love Languages of Teens" - it is an extraordinary book that took my family to a new level!
When my husband and I married, I and my two children moved to Texas from Arkansas. My kids had never lived anywhere else and they had a new dad and 3 other kids to learn to live with not to mention make new friends in school and church. The first thing I'd say is don't take it so hard and give it time. I planned lots of parties and invited all kinds of kids to the house all the time. I sent flyers to church and school and in the neighborhood and got kids coming over a lot. Soon my kids found kids they liked and started wanting to do things with. Then I let them take it from there.
R. L
I don't know how to motivate him to do anything but I do know not to give up trying.
I moved to live with my dad at 12 to G'vine and I thought my life was over. After really, really trying not to make friends for months, I ended up making three best friends by the end of the year. I am 33 and one was my maid of honor and the other was my matron of honor...after 22 years, we're still best friends. Boys aren't as easy as girls but sports or video games always help
He wants acceptance from his parents right now, not friends. He wants to be loved. His confidence is low. Complaining children are not allowed in our home and we discipline if there is laziness or complaining. We give them something to do, something constructive.
And of course, we spend time outside with our daughter. we take her to climb a tree, to ride a bike and we do activities with her. You amy want to try that.
Invite someone his age to go the lake with you and your husband for a weekend camping trip. Go get one of his friends from where he moved from and take him with you to the lake. Do family things with him by himself or ask him to bring someone. Get him involved with the teens at church.
