How Do You 'Reward' Your Toddler for Using the Potty?

Updated on May 05, 2008
C.H. asks from Randolph, NJ
37 answers

My son JUST started telling me when he has a dirty diaper, and I want to give him stickers or something to get him into it, but them when he used the potty it should be a better reward, right??? I need help, I am SO uncreative in this area!

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D.C.

answers from Utica on

A simple praise of "good boy"! will work fine, it doesn't have to be anything more.

"What a big boy" will work too.

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M.K.

answers from Syracuse on

We do the "Pee pee in the potty" dance, I think it is from a movie, Look Who's Talking maybe. Rewards are not really necessary for every single time she goes on teh potty as long as you make a huge deal about it and he knows how proud mommy is.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

i would highly recommend not going overboard. you dont want him to end up having an expectation of getting something EVERY time he goes. now if he shows major resistance, then i would suggest getting him something special for the first time he goes. show him the present and discuss with him how its a special present for when he goes all by himself, ect., and the first time he goes, he gets it. after that the stickers would be great. BUT if he shows no resistance, then you dont need that special thing. and if he is content with the stickers, then why change? he doesnt know he could get something else unless you bring it up. but again, keep it small, potty traing can take awhile imo.

the one thing i would suggest thats easier than stickers is stamps. just get a few at first with an inkpad with different colors, keep them right by the potty. when he goes on the potty, let him pick which one and the color. every now and then, get a new one to keep the excitement. but dont ever let him have the stamps unless he goes or they will lose their value.

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K.D.

answers from Albany on

Rewards are an issue you will deal with for the next 20 years or so, so I recommend starting small. Stickers are a GREAT reward, if your son is into them. Tiny tubs of playdoh, cheap stuff from the dollar store or Target's $1 bins, a bath toy, a sand shovel, a little car, a cool magnet, some dried fruit, even a single M&M or jello square, are all ideas we used. The best idea I found, though, was to fill a muffin tin with all sorts of different stuff, and let my daughter choose 1 item each time she tried to use the potty (note TRY to use, not actually produce!). I was amazed that she would consistently choose the single M&M instead of a new toy. (If you're worried about sugar, consider that 10 M&Ms a day is still not a full serving, even for a 2YO. And a couple weeks later, we easily phased the M&Ms out - she wasn't interested anymore).
If you want to celebrate the "big" stuff, sure, go find some $5 toys to offer - make them seem bigger with wrapping paper and bows. But remember that a toddler has no concept of monetary value. The best gift is always your own genuine praise and encouragement.
And remember that preschool, kindergarden, homework, and all sorts of other new experiences may require some form of award to encourage positive behavior. Start small and work your way up.

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V.S.

answers from Syracuse on

When my son goes on the potty, I have the BIGGEST PARTY EVER!! We do a dance, we sing, (some people even get party hats!). Just put ALL the attention on your child!! Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Our daughter is also 2 and has started to use the potty. She did pee 6 nights in a row. When she does pee successfully we give her an m&m. Just one and she loves it and runs into the kitchen where I am usually doing the dinner dishes and tells me she went pee pee in the potty (my husband is with her when it happens). She asks for her chocolate and I give her the m&m. This morning she went for the first day early so I gave her oj as a treat. She loves juice but she only gets it at parties or other very special occassions so that was also a treat for her. She did not drink it so that was even better.

When she does finally poop in the potty I will give her a hershey kiss since that is BIG as she calls it.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

C., I never rewarded my kids for using the toilet when they started. I didn't want them to think using the toilet was something I wanted them to do but rather something they wanted to do. The reward is not having pee and poop in your pants. I think candy daily is not something I'd ever want to encourage, food as a reward is something I think of as a bad idea, and even the stickers - when does the child stop expecting something for going to the bathroom? I know it's a popular thing, but it can be done without the rewards.

It's great that your son has some awareness, but I will tell you that both my kids would tell me after they had gone starting at about 1 1/2, and were both trained right around their third birthday. Dont get me wrong, we did not spend 1.5 years training - 4 days for the first, a few weeks for the second, but my point is their awareness of having gone, and their awareness of having to go are two different things.

Good luck with your son!

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M.S.

answers from New York on

Hi C., I am a provider, Lullabye Land Day care in Chester and when the toddlers start to go potty, we entice them with a trinket that I get a Dollar Store. They also like stickers, but when they get a small $1.00 trinket, they enjoy it for awhile and they look forward to getting another one when they go again. Also, set a timer for this and when the bell rings they will be reminded that they have to go potty.

M. S.

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S.F.

answers from New York on

Hi, C..
We are going through the potty training process with our son now. We started off rewarding him with stickers, but he got bored of them. He loves animal figurines, so we have been using inexpensive ones, the ones you buy in tubs, like from Target, Toys r Us, and we give him one each time he goes or even just sits on the potty. He must have every species of animal by this point! But anyway, so far, it's been really helping, this kind of reward process.....

Good luck,

S.

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C.S.

answers from Rochester on

We use fruit snacks - one for pee, 2 for poop. (One piece, not one package). It's a huge hit here. Just make it something that you can handle giving out often. Once they make the connection that potty = prize, it's amazing how often they can squeeze out a few drops for that reward!

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K.P.

answers from Syracuse on

I am a special ed teacher and did a TON of reinforcement type schedules with my kids. I also tested things out on my son...he was anout 22 months old I think when he was potty trained. When providing reinforcement it is important to make sure whatever you are providing your son with is meaningful and reinforcing to him. It's always important to start out big...we used match box cars because he loves cars. You could hit the dollar store and put together a prize bucket (let him pick the prizes). Initially, my son got a car every time he went potty. With time, we faded this out SLOWLY,and eventually went to stickers with a reward after receiving a certain amount of stickers...and then eventually stickers with random rewards. If you want more info, I'll be glad to help. Most importantly, make going potty a HUGE deal when starting out...fade with time. If you fade things too quickly, he may regress. You'll find a great reward. Ask him...pay attention to what he likes...good luck!!

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I.C.

answers from New York on

Rewards often help. They are better than punishment for not doing it. As for your desire to have a perfect part-time job, you should call me about joining the Mary Kay team. You can be your own boss; make your own hours; have unlimited earnings potential. You can work at your own pace. You have unlimited coaching and training for free so that you know how to do it. At a minimum, you should call me and get more information. I. Collins, Executive Senior Sales Director for Mary Kay, Inc. at ###-###-####.

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E.B.

answers from Glens Falls on

We put up a piece of paper that looked like a calendar and our daughter would put a sticker on after she would go. Once she filled up the chart she would get a prize. Put as many squares on there as you need to! But at least it isn't one prize per potty trip (which we did in the beginning)
;)

Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

The one thing that always worked for me was a piece of chocolate. She LOVES chocolate and I don't let her have much so I would give her one Hershey's Kiss every time she pooped in the potty and that did the trick for me. We also made a big deal out of it every time she went and sang "poopy on the potty" over and over and we danced. Of course, for her to poop in the potty the very first time, I had to make the stakes higher. She got to go to Chuck E Cheese! She has been potty trained for months now and is still so proud of herself for going by herself that I give her a little treat. At this point, she goes in the bathroom by herself, pulls down her pants and underwear and goes by herself without me reminding her and then just calls me to wipe her when she's done. She'll be 3 in two weeks. Hope that helps!

The other thing I noticed about your post was about you. You are taking a year off of work to find the perfect part time job. You're lucky you can do that because I couldn't afford to after my daughter was born. My friend introduced me to Arbonne International when my daughter was 17 months old and I started a business with them. After only 6 months, I was able to leave my job of 13 years!! We don't do parties, don't carry inventory and don't "sell". I've never taken money, checks or credit cards from anyone. We just teach people how to build a business or how to shop online for a discount and it's very easy to fit into your life! Our full-time doing this business is about 10 hours a week and 99% of it is from home! Check out my website: www.mariatargi.myarbonne.com. If interested you can reach me at ###-###-#### or ____@____.com. I'll tell you about the business and give you products to try in your own home. We have over 400 products and they absolutely the best out there!!

M.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

i've been using M&Ms with some luck. i do not give my kids candy often, so this seems like a special treat. i can also dole it out in small portions. when he just sits on the potty, he gets half of a medicine cup full of M&Ms, but when he actually does something on the potty he gets a full medicine cup of M&Ms. stickers weren't working for my guy either! good luck.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

With my daughter, I used stickers on a potty training reward chart. But with my son, I used pennies - one penny per visit - that he loved to put into a piggy bank that sat on his dresser. Since he loved putting them in, he never realized that I actually recycled them when I ran out. Worked great!

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M.H.

answers from Syracuse on

My daughter would get lots og happy Mom fuss-1 M&M and to flush- the M&M really worked!!! Also buying "big girl Elmo undies really helped- you dont want to pee on Elmo;)

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H.B.

answers from New York on

I have read that you should have lots of snacks on hand to give him when he goes potty. I know someone who said that he son loved baseball so if he stayed dry and went potty for 3 weeks that he would by him a bat or ball whatever he wanted.

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E.S.

answers from Albany on

Personally with my three children I did not materialistically reward them going to the potty. I did not want to set a precident for getting rewards for somthing that you have to do. Your reward is not walking around with a load in your pants. Verbal praise such as thats great you are becoming a grown up. Or when you are potty trained you can go to nursery school. That was what inspired my oldest. Bottom line is they are responible for their actions. I suppose no matter what method you use they will learn how to use the toilet. But it will fix their perspective on personal responsibility.

When my kids were small I worked part time in a used clothing store. Pricing tagging and inventory. It was really a lot of fun. I used to buy and resell clothes for my own children as well. My advice is look for something you would find energizing. Best of luck.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

I see both you and I are in the same boat, I too am looking for the perfect part time job or work from home job so I can be with my kids. Try craigslist for the part time stuff. Good luck.
Now, potty training has to be FUN!!
The kids can't look at it as a job they have to do. Make it an outrageous fun moment and he will come to like it. Start taking him every 2 hours or so, just to go and get the hang of it. Don't force him or he will associate the potty with something he doesn't want to do and you will have a hard time from that point on. Just take him there matter of factly. Do some prep, sit him down and read about going to the potty, go to the potty and read about the potty on the potty. Try "The Potty Books for Boys" by Alyssa Satin Capucilli. If you go on www.barnesandnoble.com, type in potty books in the search window and you will have tons to choose from. Go potty with him, or have your husband go with him, take turns, mommy first, then your son and cheer each time for the both of you!! You can make targets on the toilet paper. Take squares of toilet paper and draw targets, then toss one into the toilet before he goes and tell him to aim and hit it. My son loved it, looked at it as a game. My godson is now playing the same game. As silly as it may sound, all these things really do work. Make a deal with him in the morning and say lets see how many times you go potty today and pending how many times he goes, have a different prize set up for him. If he goes 2x he gets 2 stickers, if he goes 4x he gets 2 cookies or a favorite treat, if he goes all day he gets a present....a little car or some small thing he may like. He will quickly associate ....I potty, I get rewarded. Good Luck

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R.L.

answers from New York on

I feel like you don't want him to go just so he gets something. If he's telling you on his own, that is amazing! Encourage his open cooperation. After all, isn't that basic behavior something you want to encourage. I would. I hope my daughter tells me on her own. The pride in your eyes and the excitement and happiness you show him at telling you and going in the potty...I think that is reward enough. I clap, yay!! hugs and tell daddy all about it when my daughter goes in the potty.

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M.T.

answers from Rochester on

C.,
It is a good sign that he is telling you about the dirty diaper. Maybe it is also a sign that he could try the cotton pants now? It would be incentive for him to not get them dirty and to tell you as soon as he thinks it is going to be dirty? There will be accidents for a while and I'm sure that you will always remind of the goal without the reprimands.

Is there a special drawer that he can't reach yet that has a surprise in it? And when he really does get to the potty first, then the surprise would be ready... a new story book, a little lego toy, a mini car, or something that he could play with while sitting on the seat? It's been a while for me as my two are grown up but this is what comes to mind as I think back on it. Let me know what eventually worked. :)

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J.M.

answers from New York on

When I potty trained my son every time he went to the potty we would do the "Pee-Pee Dance". We would all dance around and sing do the pee-pee dance... oh yeah... do the pee-pee dance... etc. He was always very proud to see the everyone here dancing in his honor. We would also reward him with a sticker on his potty chart, which was hanging on the back of the bathroom door. As soon as he was done he'd say "Mom, lets do the pee-pee dance" and "Don't forget my sticker!" It worked like a charm. Good luck.

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K.B.

answers from Albany on

my son started to us the potty just befor he was two he would go pee on the potty all the time just for the simple praise and excitement, especially after he saw his cousin who is 9 months older doing it as for as poop on the potty good luck, i have tried some same rewards, the one that worked the closest is i had a disneys cars car in a bag and he was able to have it when he went on the potty, he even got one when he stayed dry through the night, this worked real well for staying dry at night. it is a little more expensive then just a matchbox car which is the sugestion i was given (which was to have a bunch of cars either wrapped or unwrapped in a basket and when syour son goes he gets to choses a gift) the cars were his favorite so that was the incentive, as far as pooping on the potty my son is now three and i still cant get him to go, he tells me he doesnt want the car, backfire....
but my doctor reassured me this is normal for a boy and he will eventually go when he is ready, and this what happened when he started to use the potty in general he just decided to sit down and go,
good luck
i am a stay at home mom of a three year old boy and an 18 month old daughter.

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P.S.

answers from New York on

For both my son and daughter, we used a special snack. It was something that they LOVED, and that was the only time they could have it. For my daughter it was bite size chocolate bars and with my son it was jellybeans. When they went potty was the ONLY time they were allowed to have those treats (1 per successful visit). Also, we would have a "party" in the bathroom everytime they went and everyone in the house would have to come in and see what they did (even the dog). We'd sing, cheer and clap all about how they went potty. Then we'd wave bye-bye to the pee and/or poop and they would flush it down. For quite some time after my son was completely potty trained, I would sometimes hear him clap for himself after he went potty.

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L.M.

answers from Albany on

my 2 yr old was potty trained in the past couple months rather quickly....honestly i tried stickers, it worked for a day, after that it was old. i ended up rewarding him wit m&ms....1 for pee 2 for poo....just for 1 week....it worked! Also for breakfast the next day he was accident free he could have lucky charms, his favoriteee

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Stickers and standing around and clapping worked for us. He does not have the same needs for rewards that we do, he just wants mommy and daddy to be proud of what he does.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I maybe old school but I just clapped and screamed(happy screams) and told my children how proud I was of them...it seemed to be enough...as they started to get better at it I took them to the store to pick out their own big boy underwear and we took pictures of them in it and I scrapbooked it for them in their book.

S.B.

answers from New York on

C.,
You have gotten a lot of good advice for your son and potty training. I can't top them. However, for a great part time job, you could choose to work from home. I do Galvanic Spa parties and I can teach you how to do them, too. To learn more about the Galvanic Spa and the business, then look at my website. My contact information is listed there, too. www.1525.AgingMyWay.com

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G.D.

answers from New York on

Hi
My daughter is 15 months old and I started her on the potty in March. It all depends on the needs of your child but I come from the school of thought that going to the bathroom is a process like eating and sleeping etc. so I'm careful not to overpraise. We both clap softly when she goes and I sometimes say, "that feels good" so that the reward is in the relief. If using stickers and candy feels right to you, I would start small with the rewards because if you start big, it would be very difficult to scale back. If your son told you he needed the potty without an expectation for a prize, why not continue on with that and see what happens?

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A.B.

answers from New York on

That's exactly what I thought about stickers, but my 3-year old son was really into it. Initially, I gave him a reward for every 20 stickers, but he didn't really keep track. After the first reward, I just gave him stickers and he has been happy with that for months. He peels the stickers and puts them on a calendar by himself.

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C.M.

answers from Albany on

Hi C.,

If you go to childavenue.com you can download a "potty chart" it's a train. What I did with my son is count out every 5 spots and put an X on each 5th spot. Everytime my son used the potty he would get a sticker of his choice and put it on one of the spots. once he got to the 5th spot he would get a sticker for that plus a matchbox car, or a new Thomas train. I had a supply of these items in my closet. So every 5th potty trip he got to pick out a toy. It took a bit of time before he undestood that he had to make 5 peepees before he could "redeem" those five stickers for a toy. He wanted a toy each time, but I stuck to my plan. Once his potty breaks became more consistent and frequent I upped the reward to filling the whole chart with stickers. At the very end he was able to redeem the chart for a bigger prize. I got him Cranky the Crain from Thomas. It was a big deal! I also let him have a bit of control in terms of deciding when we would break out the big boy underware. Pull-ups don't work, they're no different than diapers. I told him to pick out as many pull-up he wanted to keep and we would throw the rest away. I told him once these were gone he would begin wearing the big boy underware only...no more pull-ups/diapers (except at bedtime, for now anyway)I kept the two piles out so he would see the transition. However, as it turned out he wanted to wear the underware, and that was it. It was a gradual process, but a positive one. Consistency is the key. You have to get everyone on board with you, sitters, grandparents etc. Keep me posted. I hope this helps!!

Cece

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K.O.

answers from New York on

My 34 month old son just became potty trained. At first we told him he would get a toy but he still was not interested. Then we started taking him to the store right after he would poop on the potty. When he finally started doing it on a somewhat regular basis, I told him that if he did it every day for a week he could get a bigger toy that he wanted. Once that was accomplished, he gets a toy at the end of the week, and he gets to choose a treat from a big bowl after every poop. Little boxes of raisins, granola bars, etc... Now hw wants to poop every time. Good luck.

D.D.

answers from New York on

I use to give 3 m&ms. My second daughter use to take water from the sink and put it in the potty to try to get more. lol

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

We praised the kids up and down...but for some, an m & m does the trick...I think Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 does that!!

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K.M.

answers from Albany on

We started with an index card with 6 dots made with a marker. My son got 2 stickers for a poop in the potty, and one for pee. When the chart was filled he got a prize (popcorn, cookie, lollipop - something he picked). Eventually I added more dots on the next charts and we used tiny teacher chart stickers, so that we could have more than 20 (gradually) on an index card. THe prizes got bigger too, but were never that exciting. The biggest prize of all was a trip to McDonald's when he finally wore underpants all day - I told him that they didn't allow diapers in the play area - and it was his first trip to the "playground full of germs up close to the grocery store" as he called it. :) Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from New York on

I used Pez - one little Pez candy after each time - new Pez dispensers for bigger achievements (he had a harder time pooping, so sometimes I gave him a new dispenser for that). It worked like a charm - he was trained in about 2 weeks. And there are a lot of fun dispensers. He didn't need the reward for long.

(A whole roll of Pez candy is about 30 calories - he had about 3 or 4 individual candies a day - maybe 10 calories and a little bit of sugar - any harm done was outweighed by how painless it was)

Also - he was about 2 1/2 and really ready...I think that it pays to wait until they are ready or the whole process could take a long time.

Good luck!

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