Last night my heart sank when I heard my step-daughter say everyone in Arizona is poor. In speaking with my husband further, I learned that because of concerns about the economy her mom's family bypassed an annual holiday out of town trip. My step-daughter was told that it was because her mom's family was poor and then that everyone in Arizona is poor. Our family and her mom's family both have multiple incomes that have come upon times and so we have having to spend our money more wisely. As many of you mom's can agree, this financial times have made it difficult for most of us and have required we readdress the priorities in our lives and our spending. But fortunately, both families are still living in our same homes with nice cars and clothes. To call either of our families poor is a terrible misconception. I feel like this is a great teaching opportunity for my step-daughter, but I am not certain how to approach it to a 6 year old 1st grader without giving too much information. What is important for me to teach her is 1) times are tough now in the economy, so we have to make better decisions with money, and 2) we are not poor! There are people out there who do not have enough food to eat, do not have new clothes to wear, etc. Both families are extremely blessed with what we do have, there are a lot of people with less. Or am I overreacting here? Can't wait to hear what you all have to say!
Thanks moms, for all your input. After also discussing this issue with my own mom, she stressed that we not do a soup kitchen or something too extreme that might scare her or reinforce that people in AZ are poor. Instead, we talked about what it means to be poor and why her mom's family and our family are not poor. Lastly, we decided to go through her toys and donate the ones that she no longer plays with for kids that did not get any christmas presents. I will take her with me when we donate these items!
I love your approach and attitude! I couldn't agree more. Having to rearrange our priorities and having a reminder save and be disciplined financially are actually probably a wonderful side effect of the economic downturn.
Even though Christmas is over, maybe you can take her shopping (at a store, or maybe even in her own closet!) to pick out food and toys for a local organization to donate. I like to donate things to "Save the Family" located on Country club, north of university. Maybe if she is able to participate and choose items for children who are less fortunate she will have a better understanding of what "poor" really is and how we make choices with our money to affect ourselves and others.
Does she get an allowance yet? If not, now might be a good time to start a small allowance for helping out around the house. You can tie that in to talking about saving, spending, and donating to charity.
Your feelings about what points to make with her are right on. Good for you! Make it child friendly and tell a story - maybe even have her act it out - that works well with six-year-olds.
Hi J., I will be interested to see what kind of responses you get. Just last night my 9 yo daughter was saying grace and said something along the lines of "and please help mom and Jason make more money so we can survive this year". I was surprised because although both of us are commission only in insurance and have taken a big hit financially this year, I don't believe it has affected the kids too much. Yes, they didn't get as many things this year for xmas but nothing else has really changed. We have cut back on a lot of the activities we do and I have been more thrifty when I shop for groceries and things. But we are managing and live much better than a lot of people. So I'm torn because I think the kids sort of need to be told about money and how it all works, my fiance thinks they shouldn't be told and doesn't want them to think we are "poor" and "don't have any money", he thinks it just adds un-necessary stress to them, which I think is true too. So I know this didn't really help you, I hope I can get some advice from your responses too and good luck!
