HOW Does One Handle Two in Diapers?!

Hi I know how you feel. I have two girls that are 16 months apart. When my 2 year old gets hard to deal with I put her in her room and tell her to come out when she wants to behave. And yews it usually works. I have her help me with little things with my 8 month old. I ask her to get me the diaper to change her and then ask her to give the baby a kiss. I will make to bottle and ask her to help give it. So maybe you can pump and have him help and make him feel apart. This helped me. Just anything little like that. Even in the morning have him pick out the clothes for the baby. This helps them feel like they are important still. At first when i had my baby I would lay her down for her nap and spent that extra time with my 2 year old. I hope this helps you out a little.

i have 3 year old twins and a 14 month old which means a year ago i had 2 year old twins and a 6 week old. i am a sahm with no break 2 days a week. please don't feel guilty! the point is YOU CAN DO IT! the twins learned early on that while i was breastfeeding they could do what ever they wanted, so it was rough for a while. you are doing a GREAT job! keep it up! this too will pass!

I can't imagine how hard it must be. The offer still stands for some help so you can relax and get a long bath/shower and do other things that you need to do.

You are in my thoughts
M.

Wow, I know how you feel, my kids are 13 months apart but they are 6 and 7 now. I remember those days. Put the older one in day care just for a few months so you'll have time to recover. See if you can have a relative or friend come over and help you. Pick three or four friends and have each one come on a different day. Or maybe they will take the older one for a few hours on the days he is not in daycare. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I hired a lady to come in and help me while the kids were little. She stopped coming when they were 3, so find some help. Good luck

My two are 16 months apart and I had a c-secton with my second. It was very hard the first few weeks, but once you are able to carry you oldest it seemed to get easier. I had lots of help my husband was home for a week and my mother would come over Sunday-Wednesday then after work on Friday. My husband worked his schedule where he was off on Thursday so really I was only home alone on Saturdays if my husband had to work. We tried really hard to have someone at the house with me for the first 6 weeeks. If you have family in town ask for help. It might be hard to ask, but you need it. After the first 6 weeks my son was sleeping through the night so everything got much better. It was a little overwhelming at first, but it does get better each day just please ask for help you cannot do everything. You need sometime for yourself to rest and recover.

First of all, relax. You are doing the mom equivalent of cleaning out Hercules' stables--with a frayed toothbrush! Putting your son in full time daycare for a few weeks until you recover, or even until your littlest is sleeping through the night is not a criminal action, and your child won't need to go on Oprah to talk about the trauma of it. He will probably even enjoy himself a little more with others his own age that he doesn't have to be so careful of. If you can afford this kind of help, give yourself permission to take advantage of it.
If you just can't stand the thought of extending his daycare time, why not consider a playgroup? When my oldest was little we had a really great organization where we got together every once in a while to let the kids play together. Mostly, however, the benefit was in trading off child care services. I could send my son to play for a couple of hours while I took a nap (or a really long bath!) and I could offer to look after someone else's child for the evening after my husband came home to help.
The bottom line is that you are the most important person in both your children's lives right now, and it is not only a good idea, but it is your moral obligation to take care of yourself in order to be able to take care of them. Give yourself permission to do what it takes to maintain sanity, and save the guilt for when you have more time and energy to deal with it!

Good Luck!

D2

It will get easier! The first few weeks are crazy, and it will take a while to get used to it all. My munchkins are 5, 3 and 1. When I had my second, I thought I would never be able to handle them (22 months apart), now I can change diapers with the speed and agility of a ninja! You will become a pro in no time. Look into buying a sling to carry your newborn, It really helps out. It will all fall into place. Good luck!

i think daycare is a good idea! i had my hubby home with me the first 2 1/2 weeks so i had plenty of help, then soon after my hubby went back to work my mom took my older daughter (then 2) back to CA with her for 2 weeks. i was VERY ready for her to come home! but if it hadn't been for that, i'm sure i would have been exhausted too! so don't feel bad about using daycare for a few weeks! you need to be able to nap when the baby naps and just lay around all day if you need to!

My two oldest are 18 months apart. First, try to get some help for a couple of weeks. If not, let the older one go to school more for a few weeks.

FYI, my older one was a big help--bringing me diapers and such, picking up things and putting them away. Toddlers love to help.

I am a Montessori teacher so my children were indepentent very early on and most of the time would listen and follow directions well.

One thing that seems to help prevent jealousy was to have the older one sit next to me while nursing the baby and read a book outloud. Also, I was careful not to immediately drop what I was doing with the older one to go to the baby every single time. I would even talk to the baby telling her "I hear you. Let me finish helping your brother and you are next". So, he knew he had to take turns with the baby, too.

It was very busy the first couple of months, but got easier after that.
C.

I had my youngest when my identical twins were 17 months old. Those first few weeks & months were very difficult. My twins were on a regular schedule and I was not willing to alter their schedule so new baby had to learn to fit in.

You need to do whatever you can to help you keep your sanity. If your older child isn't on a schedule, put him on one. At least knowing what comes next will help. I don't think that putting your 20 month old in daycare a little more than usual is a bad idea. Getting everyone on a routine and accepting help when offered is key!

I have two sets of twins. My oldest two were still in diapers when the second set was born. I do work and I do have help during the day and I had a night nanny for 3 months. But after 3 months the night nanny left and the babies still did not sleep all night - many times they did not sleep at all during the night! You have already received a lot of great advice. Here's a few tips from me. My best friend ever was the Fisher Price Aquarium Bouncer to entertain one while you take care of the other. There is a toddler size chair you can get for the older one. Learn to use a blanket or other things that you can dangle with one hand while you rock or feed with the other. Use the bouncy instead of holding sometimes and hold your older child. Use TV shows to help relieve stress - I know that is a no-no but do what you gotta do. The older one can be entertained with TV while you feed one; the baby can be entertained with TV while you talk with or change the older one. Get their routines the same as much as you can so you have a break. What's a shower? I'm lucky if I get one every other day or so. But it does get better and it will. You will make it. Take care.

My first two are 21 months apart, it's kind of tough at first but you will figure out how to work it all out & you won't even remember the difficulties. Just take it a day at a time right now, and don't feel guilty for anything you need to do to make it work for you. You do need a recovery from the birth period & if your husband is working and doesn't have paternity leave the daycare might be the best solution.

I had a 27 month old, a 1 year old and a 1 week old and it was very hard, but in a few weeks it'll all work out for you.

Really.

Just organize (or have your hubby help) as much as you can the night before. Consider moving your life to one room... the one right off the kitchen... for a month or two. Keep diapers for both there, with changes of clothes for the kids, a playpen or cradle, toys, etc. And keep your clothes you're going to change into (think "sweat suits in varying colors"... velour is nice this time of year) nearby, like the downstairs bathroom, along with a scrunchie for your hair.

Showers? That's really what those baby wipes are for and make use of them! Keep a minimum of make up downstairs... foundation if you feel you need it, but I always figured mascara was the actual "necessity" for most of us. Lip balm. Eye liner. You're done.

Food? Well, toddlers must eat, so try to get a weeks worth prepped and in Tupperware on Monday. Your baby is nursing, so that leaves you... Lean Cuisines are good and you can make and eat them with one hand.

Snugglies... I don't know what they call them now, but I would often wear my newborn around the house while I did the minimum of picking up, washing clothes etc.

Grocery shopping was an adventure with 3... I wore the Snugglie, put the 1 year old in the seat and stuck the 2 year old in the cart. There wasn't alot of room for groceries but it cut down on spending!

Really try to focus your life in kitchen/den/downstairs bathroom area. If you are all one floor that's even better, but still condense to one small area, and make your life there.

It'll all work out and if you send your two year old away,wait a few more months, so she doesn't feel like she's a burden.

Mine are 15 mos apart. The little one is almost 10 mos and the next one 25 mos. It gets easier. Could you be dealing with a bit of post partum (SP?) depression. With everything seeming to be so overwhleming I would keep an eye on it. It is hard when you are up all night with one and them have 2 all day long. If you can, hire a teenager to come in for a few hours a day, maybe after school. that could be a big help. You could either get some private time, take a shower, take a nap or get some chores done. AND you'd be there in case the teenager really needed you. I was lucky and was able to get mine on the same schedule. But the 10 month old was a preemie and had to eat ever 1 - 1.5 hours around the closck for 6-8 months. That was really hard. You are not alone. It does get better though.

Hi Alexandra~

I have two children that were in diapers at the same time. It was a little rough in the beginning, and I also had a husband that worked like crazy and so I did most of everything. Mine were 15 months apart, kinda like yours and I just remember "breathing". Times will be tough and your oldest was the baby, and so now there is that, "Hey, who is this stealing all mom's time?" They do that. They get jealous even at that young of an age. Just hang in there and think about when they grow up, (mine are currently 5&6) they will be in school together and then you will have time for yourself! :)

Well, just know you will survive....are the children safe? That is all that matters during this time. It is so hard and I did struggle---two milestones helped: when baby could eat cheerios (that bought me time as I made dinner) and when both took one nap at the same time....WOW....that hour made a huge difference. I still needed a 'break' and would run to sonic or whatever for 15 minutes when my husband got home. Just some time to unwind, call my sister on the cell without a crying child, and I actually looked forward to coming home to put them to bed. You have been given great advice....help is a necessity during this time...my mom stayed with us for about two months since I had a c-section. You know, in years past, the women all took care of each other during these times, now we think we can put on a super mama cape and fly through it all....reality is what reality is....seek help and take care of you.

Mine are now 3 and almost 2 (they are 14 months apart) and as I sit here I hear them playing together (school--they are reading stories) and it is so awesome to know how close they are and will hopefully remain. I remember the tough months and just want to encourage you to not focus on anything except those babies....and taking care of you....no one expects more than that from you and if they do...they have lost their mind. If I could have had a daycare, even for a few hours each day or few days a week, I would have jumped on it....

My daugther is 18 months younger than my son. Every week it gets a little bit easier, I promise!

I don't have any grand words of wisdom but take everyone up that offers to help and if you can take your older one a couple of days for mother's day out that is good too.

My girls are 12 months apart. I haven't had a lot of help other than my older kids and husband when he isn't traveling with work. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried a lot and was terribly depressed because I felt like I would never make it through. They will turn 3 and 2 in the next month, so it is getting so much better. My older boys are 6 years apart and then 4 yrs before I had my first girl, and I always spouted off that God gave me my children perfectly spaced for me, but He threw me for a loop with them being so close together.

Take each day as it comes, forget your house or find someone to even come clean it just once a month. Take care of the kids and do what you can. We played in the bed a lot because I could be there with the baby and play with my other kids too while we watched cartoons. I did my best and I am sure there are mom's out there that did better than me, but my kids are just fine, so my best must have been pretty good :)

Hang in there...They grow so fast, soon enough you will be wondering where the time went. Good luck!

I feel your pain! I had one in K, a newborn and a 13 month old, and some days, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I only have two peices of advice for you, and neither of them are a "magic pill", because unfortunately, there isn't one. First, don't be afraid to ask for help. From anyone, friends, family, including your hubby when he is home. Even if he is tired! Go to the store, take a really long shower/bath, chit chat with a friend on the phone for a while, whatever. Us moms, for whatever reason, try to do it all and don't like to ask anyone for help. I always even felt bad asking my hubby to help more! I knew he was tired from working and all, and wanted him to be able to relax too. And furthermore, you don't need to feel guilty putting your son in daycare full time for a while if that is what you need. Secondly, cling to the FACT that it WILL GET BETTER!! I PROMISE!! Always remember that. It really will get better. Put things in perspective here. You need to figure out new ways to make this work (without you going loco!) and you may have to step outside your comfort level. (ex, asking for help) Cut yourself a little slack. You don't have to be perfect, and you won't damage your children if you're not! :)

Most of all girl, it does get better! Hang in there!

And don't forget, if you just need to vent, mamasource moms are always here to listen! You are NOT ALONE!!!!! Keep your chin up!!

YOU WILL SURVIVE! I have a daughter that is your son's age and a nearly 5 month old son. At first it definitely took some time transitioning into a mother of two. I doubted that I could handle it and wondered if I'd EVER get another shower again.

I have found that it's easier to put the older child to bed first so that they don't disrupt the baby from falling to sleep. We make sure to spend quality one on one time with my daughter so that she knows she hasn't been replaced. She was really rough with my son at first and stole his pacifier every chance she got. She has come around though. I made sure NEVER to tell her to go away or that what she was doing was bad. I simply told her to be "NICE" or "GENTLE" (even when she tried smothering him with blankets!!! man, that was hard) and now she comes up and pats his head and says "NICE." It's really sweet to see them get to know each other. As your daughter gets older and your son sees that she's going to be able to interact with him, it should get better. I catch my daughter showing him how to play with toys and trying to share her food with him all of the time. It's pretty sweet.

I know how difficult it can be. My husband travels MOnday through Friday and with one baby - life was simple, but adding the second to the equation was tough. I will tell you that it does get easier. I also breastfed my second exclusively and it always seemed like my oldest didn't need anything until it was time to feed the baby, then it was I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, etc. My advice to you is to have snacks and drinks readily available for your oldest while you nurse. Find something fun for him to do while you are busy. Have him "help" you when he can, ie - can you be mommy's big helper and get a diaper. Also, my first child I held him all the time and gave him 100% of attention during the day...with the second one that just isn't possible. There are going to be LOTS of times when both babies are crying and as hard as it is as a mommy to hear, you have to prepare yourself for it. You are only human. If you are able to put your oldest in daycare for a few more weeks it might help you for a for weeks. The reality is though that you are going to be insanely busy for a while. When the kids take a nap - either SLEEP or take your shower then. I know how difficult it is and you can't really explain it to someone unless you experience it. Also, on your hubby's day off, pump a bottle for your youngest and escape for even an hour to get a pedicure or even to go to the grocery store BY YOURSELF! It is wonderful for your sanity! Hang in there! It does get easier with time and soon they will be playing together and leaving you free time to do things you can't imagine possible today! Remember, you are doing a great job and you are a great mommy!

oh girl i have four kids, 5y, 4y,almost 2y and a 5month old. i have always had at least two in some type of disposable diaper/pullup...where do you live? anywhere close to sherman/denison?
I soooooooooooo understand, what you are going through. my almost two yr old is nowhere ready to pottytrain. i always try to start when 1) YOU CAN DEVOTE THE TIME AND ENERGY AND NOT LOSE YOUR MIND IN THE PROCESS:)))) 2) THE SUMMER AFTER HE TURNS 2YRS OLD. 3) IF HE DOES NOT SEEM READY THEN BY ALL MEANS WAIT. BOYS ARE SLOWER! dont push the subject or it will be worse. I had one that was in pullups for a year trying to figure out if he was ever going to stop pooping in his pants and then one day he said, ok...and never looked back.

I had three boys and now have a newborn girl, so i am in your shoes, somewhat.

ask away i can help im sure.
L.

Hi Alexandra. I have two boys and they are 11 months apart. Yes, it happens. =) My husband was home with me the first week after my second guy was born, my mom flew in for the second week and my best friend flew in for the third. That was very helpful after my c-section. There were many days after they left that I would ask myself if I needed a nap or a shower more. The nap usually won on most days. My husband would let me know if I was getting stinky and needed to find time for a shower. =) It was rough. I had one learning to walk and my newborn. My kids are 2 and 1 and we are still buying two boxes of diapers each week. It gets so much easier as they get a little older and more independant. The first couple of months are rough and hard to get adjusted. After my baby was 6 months old, both boys started going to day school full time. I needed to get back to my business and felt sad to leave them all day but it's turned out to be amazing. We all get our own seperate time and we are all so excited to see each other at night. The boys are learning SO much and making sweet little friends. I encourage you to put your son in school. I know it's especially hard on stay-at-home moms but it will be good for both of you. Hopefully it would help for all 3 of you to not be crying at once. There were many days when both boys were crying...and so was I. =) Good luck.

Do what you need to do to keep everyone happy and healthy.

Sending good thoughts your way.