How Important Are Sleep Schedules for 11 Month Olds?

Updated on March 01, 2008
K.L. asks from Austin, TX
13 answers

Hi! I am starting to feel a little lost without a daily routine. I have started out parenting in a way that would allow me to follow my babies cues and not the clock or the calendar! But now, I am feeling a little undisciplined and lacking order by not having some sort of predictable schedule/ routine. Is it really helpful to set a sleep schedule...is it necessary? I'm a stay at home mom so I don't really have to be up and out the door by any particular time. So.....I guess I am asking if you all would have some advice on schedules. We are still nursing and he still wakes frequently through the night. Do some babies just never sleep through the whole night at this age? Am I expecting too much out of my 11 month old? He wakes up about every hour- even during nap times and needs to be nursed back down. Is this a bad pattern to get into or am I worrying too much about it? Any input is appreciated! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everybody for all of your great feedback! After sharing with you all about my current situation, I realized that I just need to remember that this stage will probably zip by before I know it. Now that I think about it, he did just learn how to walk and I think that he has more bottom teeth coming in. He is probably needing to nurse more for security and comfort. I'm so blessed to give him this gift.
So I am going to continue nursing him on cue and try to keep his sleep schedule loosely organized. I haven't had a full nights sleep in about a year, but you all reminded me of why I am parenting this way to begin with. So BIG THANKS and Much Love.

More Answers

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

Here is my opinion. I have co-slept and nursed all of my kids. My 13 month old still sleeps with me and nurses as she wants (look into attachment parenting for details). Anyway, my 3 and 5 year olds did this also. They slept in the room with us until they were 2 and then had no problem transitioning to thier own rooms and sleeping alone. They are confident and have no separation anxiety. This is completely up to you though. My older two were able to adapt to schedules for school with no problem also. They now go to bed at 8:00 pm and are up at 6:30 and 7:30 with no problem, but when they were babies, we followed thier schedule. I think this makes them more flexable also, because they can stay up later on weekends and then go back to their weekday schedule with no problem. Hope this rambling message makes sense!)

2 moms found this helpful
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G.F.

answers from Houston on

I think I'm the only one who will say this but I am anti-schedule and it worked great! I wanted my daughter to be laid back and flexible because our family is very spontaneous. Ever since she was born I have been able to just grab her bag and go anywhere and she didn't care. She is now 3 and still not on a strong schedule. She goes to daycare now so she has a schedule there, but on the weekends it is totally free time. I have no regrets at all about not putting her on a schedule. She ate when she was hungry, not depending on the clock. She slept if she was tired. I never forced naps or feedings depending on the time. They may be little, but they know if they are hungry or tired.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Austin on

Every baby is different and every family is different. From my experience, children learn to appreciate a set routine and predictability. It feels safe to know what happens next most of the time. AAP has recommendations as to how much sleep a child that age needs (I want to say its like 14-18 hours), so if your child is happy, healthy, not cranky or over-tired and getting the right amount of rest - I's say you're okay. Now, you want to build a solid sleep routine that doesn't have them up too late and sleeping all day - that doesn't do them any favors when they get older and have school the next day. You also want to make sure that their time with their parents is maximized. For example if your husband works late, but doesn't go in until late morning or early afternoon, then you'll want a schedule that accomodates this so that the baby gets to spend time with dad. Generally, 2 naps per day and a good 12 hours at night are what most can do about that age. Then they progress to just one nap per day (my daughter is 2 and takes a 3 hour nap, my son is 4 and naps for 2 hours).

1 mom found this helpful
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V.B.

answers from Houston on

I am also a SAHM and my daughter has been on a schedule since I was able to get her on one (probably since around 3-4 months old....she's 2 now, so I can't exactly remember). I think it is so important for them to be able to understand what is coming next in their day. Try to get up around the same time every day (we get up between 7-7:30) and then have some activity in the morning. Make sure you take some time to play with him and interact. Or, join a playgroup, go to the library for toddler time, etc. At 11 months, my daughter was still taking 2 naps per day, but in order to get him to take one good, long nap, you may want to put him down around noon or so for one nap. If you wear him out, he should sleep for a couple of hours.

As for the night waking...at this age, it's probably more of a habit than a need to eat. You should try letting him settle himself back to sleep. It won't be easy and there will be some tears (probably from you too), but if you ever want him to sleep through the night, you have to let him learn to go back to sleep on his own without the breast. If he's waking that often, he's probably just snacking anyway and not getting a full feeding, so at that point, it's not doing him any good anyway other than keeping you all up. Is he eating solids yet? If not, you should give that a try so that he is getting some calories during the day and learning to eat something other than breastmilk. In order to wean him from the need to nurse to sleep, you should change up his bedtime routine. Feed him a little before bedtime (maybe half an hour before??) and then read him some stories somewhere besides where you usually nurse. Whatever routine you pick, just be sure you're consistent with it and take the nursing out of the equation so that he is going to bed awake.

I'm going to be honest, starting this routine at 11 months old is going to be harder because he is used to calling the shots so to speak, but it can be done, so don't give up! You just have to be consistent and give him some time to get adjusted to his schedule. In the long run, you will both be much happier for it. Best of luck and if you need further advice, feel free to send me a private message.

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T.H.

answers from Houston on

having your child on a schedule is very important. I agree with the other lady. put them down for nap at 12:00 and let your child have a 2 hour nap if they sleep that long, and their bedtime should be around 8:30 at night. I always had my child up at 7:00 in the morning and he was always ready for that 12:00 nap. On weekends is the only time i let him sleep in and that was only till 8:00. Make sure that your child is very active so he will be tired out for that nap.
good luck and don't give up.

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L.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi, K.,

I have a 15 year old and can tell you a regular routine is crucial. Start now! A SAHM needs some "me-time" too, and as they get older, it will wear you out!

I love my daughter more than life, but I can tell you bed time is a wonderful thing.

Start now - don't wait another minute. Children thrive on structure and being able to predict their environments. You'll probably have a struggle at first, but if I were you, I'd have your baby on a nap and bedtime schedule. Get up at the same time every day as well. This way, you'll set his little internal alarm clock and you can find a few minutes to be a grown-up.

You'll love it when he's older, too.

Best wishes to you!

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Because you have not had a schedule, you have no clue how much better your life will be with one, but oh my goodness, it is great!!!And, I can tell you, he does not need to nurse that much, he is using you as a pacifier. Maybe he should be allowed one feeding in the middle of the night, MAYBE, but really he should be able to sleep through the night. At this point, he should be eating food for most of his nourishment, and even drinking a good bit out of a sippy cup, so the nursing should be for bonding and a little nutrition. That said, you may be in for a tough few weeks trying to change now, but take this time and stick it out, you will be so glad you did. What you need to figure out is if he needs 2 naps still, or just one. Mine all needed 2 until about 15 months or so, so they got up around 7, nap from 10-11:30 or so, another nap from 2-4, and then bed time was usually around 8. I always feed my kids at that age 3 meals and 3 snacks during the day, and they only had a bottle first thing in the morning, and right before bed. The best way to help with scheduling nap times is to really keep him busy and engaged until you are ready for him to lay down. Maybe even a trip to the mall play place or something similar. And make sure he really eats as much as he wants when he is awake. Now, I have never let my kids just cry it out, but I have not really had to, so I am not sure how to deal with the fit that he will surely pitch when you arent nursing him, but I can tell you that it is worth almost anything:) Best of luck working this out!! ~A.~

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R.T.

answers from Dallas on

Read the Baby Whisperer. The book gives great advice on setting routines, which is more flexible than schedules and watching the clock, but lets you and your child know what is next. My son was sleeping through the night by 8 months and he is now 21 months old. Daycare tells me that they wish all kids slept as well as mine. Great book! Definitely recommend it.

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

You've gotten some great advice and suggestions. I am not a SAHM, but while I was home on maternity leave, towards the end of it, I was really craving a schedule and some predictability. And kids thrive in that environment! They want the predictability in their lives. It helps tremendously to establish a routine.

I would highly encourage you to set a schedule. One of the best pieces of advice I received when setting up a schedule is don't let your baby sleep past 8am. I know it sounds counterintuitive to "wake a sleeping baby", but it helps so much in establishing morning naps and afternoon naps. I am still nursing (albeit just once a day), but our son who is now 14 months starting sleeping through the night when he was about 2 months old. Now, we've had relapses when he's been ill or going through a growth spurt that he would wake in the middle of the night and want to nurse, but were were always able to get him back on the schedule. At 11 months, considering he's probably eating quite a bit of baby food/solid food, your son should not "need" to nurse at night. I agree with the others, you have become a pacifier.

Good luck on your transition! You and your little one will be so happy that you made these changes!

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

As a teacher, I believe that children need and want schedules. They need rules & boundaries. I started my son very, very early on, & I was pretty strict about feeding & sleeping times. It's hard, but it was worth it. It seems to me that he's using you for a pacifier, & I feel that when he gets older & more active that you'll need more alone time.

That being said, it's your life. :) If that's the way you want your household run, then it's your right. If it doesn't feel right, then start making changes. Start now. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi K.! I believe very strongly about schedules for feeding and sleeping. I know alot of people don't worry too much about it, but I think it is really important. If it bothers you a little to not have a routine, then just try to gradually get on one. I have my kids on one from the day we arrive from hospital (number 3 is on the way). I have a friend who doesn't do schedules and her kids sleep on the couch, floor, just where ever they happen to fall asleep and have bad eating habits, and even she thinks it could be bc she didn't have her on a schedule. It's a personal choice. Good Luck!

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N.B.

answers from College Station on

Scheduling is the hardest concept to get the hang of, and I will tell you it's not for every mother. For me, I never followed a strict schedule with either one of my kids while I nursed. I just went with the flow and listened to my kids and unless I had plans they ate and slept when they needed to. I nursed one of my kids for 6 months and the other for 12 months. Both of my children nursed every 2-3 hours for at least the first 6 months but then it began to taper off as I introduced solid foods and cereal. By 11 months they should be sleeping at least 4 hours a day. How often is he napping and for how long? I have found if they take too long of naps during the day they might be more inclined to have more frequent feedings at night. Also, he could be teething and/or needing extra sucking stimuilation. Both of my kids would nurse just to get the extra stimulation, but I tried the pacifer if I could. Hope this helps :)

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

I think you have great advice here.

I will just tell you that your child will eventually need a schedule -- and it will be up to you to eventually have the discipline to enforce it. The earlier that you can manage to introduce some schedule control, the easier it will be.

I think my hardest sleep introduction was having to teach my daughter (for the third time) to sleep through the night at 18-months old. We had practiced ignoring her earlier in her life (when she went from waking up once to three times a night at about six months because she wanted to just be with us all the time) -- but had to do it for the last time at 18 months. It was 1 1/2 hours of her calling for me by name in the middle of the night before Daddy went in to take care of her. That was the hardest thing I ever did -- but she has consistently slept through the night ever since.

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