How Late to Let 9 Year Old Stay up on Sleep Over

Kids usually stay up late on sleepovers, but you need to take into consideration what the plans are for the following day. If there is school the next day or one of the kids has to attend a family wedding, it probably isn't a good idea to stay up too late. If it is a lazy weekend, then no harm if the kids are a little tired the next day, and they can just go to bed a little earlier to make up for it. Staying up late is part of the fun.

My 6 year old was at a sleepover last night and they stayed up til 2am and slept until noon. It's the weekend. It's summer. Let them have fun.

Now, if we'd needed to be up at 8a, that would've been a different story.

For me this falls into the pick your battles category. No it would not have bothered me although I would remind them that without sleep they will be very tired the next day. There is a natural consequence to staying up half the night and that is being extremely tired the next day. Your step daughter will probably just go to bed really early the next night. No big deal.

Sorry but I think you are overreacting a little.
You really wake up your DH at 2 am just to tell him that the kids were awake on their tablets? I would have been mad too if I was him... didn't you handle the situation by yourself? I don't think it has anything to do with "letting things slide" - it really was no big deal, certainly not one that warranted waking your spouse in the middle of the night.

As for how late to stay up, I thinks it's ok to say no more electronics at 10 PM and ask for lights out. Next time you know better and take the tablets away.
Personally I think as long as they are respectful about it (quiet, not waking younger siblings) they stay up as long as they want after light out and talk the night away and yes, I would even let them sleep in the next day. Isn't that the fun of a sleepover? Talking the night away with your best friend? It was when I was a kid.

The only time I would enforce bedtime was if we had a big outing (theme park etc.) planned the next day.
Good luck.

When I used to have sleepovers we all stayed up supet late

We have always said by midnight they need to turn everything off and be quiet.

Even as a child I remember this rule.

The funny thing is usually most of us were so tired we were asleep before then.

My rule for our daughter in general since she was in about 4th grade was, she could go to sleep whenever she wanted, BUT she had to get up in the morning for school and be able to function without whining and keep her grades up. If she did not get ready on time, I would then give her an actual bedtime.

We rarely had any problems.

As long as the girls were not disturbing anyone, I would not have worried, but since you had instructed them and they disobeyed you know they may need to grow up a bit more, to be able to keep the tablets with them passed your set bedtime.

I am more lax with sleepovers part of the fun for the kids is to stay up late. Sometimes they make a game of it and see just how late they can stay up without falling asleep. If it is a night when the kids need rest or need to be rested for the next day I just don't allow a sleepover that night, then there are no worries. We have a lot of sleepovers at our house actually double sleepovers as the kids call them where they stay over for two nights in a row or switch houses for the second night.

The idea of a sleepover is to stay up late!!!!' Why did you wake up your husband to tell him? Get used to it, because you have many more years of these lol.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world - so they stayed up too late, they will be more tired and probably out of sorts today, but they will live. If they are cranky from lack of sleep, then you tell them, "Well, that is what happens when you stay up too late - maybe you should go lay down and try to get some more rest."

I think 10 or 11 would have been a reasonable time to get them to try to go to sleep, but that doesn't mean it is going to happen. My friends and I used to stay up late at sleepovers just talking and we didn't have things like tablets to keep us going. For next time, I would just take the tablets away when you feel it's time for them to be done.

2 am giggling would not bother me during a sleepover, if it was not loud enough to disturb anyone else's sleep, especially in summer or school vacation periods.

2 am tablet use with internet connection is concerning. Make sure you know what they up to. Check history, texting, etc. Consider taking the electronics or internet connection after a decent hour. Or may very sure you have iron clad child protective software.

Sleepovers are a rite of passage! They are fun, a source of nodding between friends, and it is a child's dream come true to be able to have friends stay over and whoop it up all night long! So...being the mom of four girls, my advice to all moms with kids that are in the " sleepover stages" is this.....
Be aware that this is a night of fun for your child. Make it easy for the kids to have what they need and all they need while at your home for the night. Plenty of great food and snacks, some great movies or games, comfortable and accommodating sleeping arrangements, comfy pillows and blankets, and some great stuff for breakfast the next morning. Be prepared to have a crappy nights sleep unless you have earplugs or you can sleep through a freight train driving through your living room. Girls are chatty, squealy, loud, and giddy at sleepovers. All the things they should always be. I never put a curfew on sleepover activities. It was the least I could do to just let the kids have one single night of freedom and staying p to the wee hours. They will eventually exhaust themselves and fall asleep. Then we usually get to sleep in the next morning because the girls were up most of the night!

As long as they are not super loud and completely disruptive, I would not plan for a shut-down or sleepover curfew. It won't bode well. Also make sure no one...and I mean no one is going outside the house or out that door for any reason at night. That, you should mention and put the foot to the floor. Otherwise, if your house is safe and sound and everyone is behaving...let the girls have fun. They will have bedtimes and curfews all day every day after this. One night will not hurt anything.

I just know that there's no sleeping at sleepovers! I don't plan them when I know that there's something that needs to be done the next day. If there's no way around it, then the rule is she can't be crabby or complain she's tired.

When she was younger, we'd make them turn off electronics and put them in a basket. I usually put a movie in around 9 so that it was done around 10:30. Sometimes I'd turn off the wi-fi as well.

Usually they stayed up giggling until 2am or later. It's just what girls do. Expect it!

Just had to comment...

I have NEVER called them 'sleepovers' since so little sleeping seems to happen.

We have always (and still do) call them 'spendovers'.

Take the internet.

Let them giggle all they want!

Sleepovers are synonymous with no sleep. Therefore plan accordingly and do not hold one or allow SD to attend one when it is imperative that she gets her rest.

Your not crazy. I would have said 10 or so would be fine. Although all little girls do this sneaking to stay up late thing. The mistake was not taking the tablets / phones out of the room. I would not have woken my hubby up about it. But would have said hey go to sleep. As the kids get used to staying over for sleep overs they will learn how different families roll. My kids friends knew I meant it and didn't have a problem saying to them knock it off and go to sleep or your going home. Or for me to say your all going to get cracked if you don't knock it off. I didn't crack them lol just a threat that they all laughed at and went to sleep with.

It depends on a lot of things:
how old they are, what they have going on the next day, how they are behaving and how grumpy or not I'm feeling.
I don't think your time was unreasonable.
What ever time you set, when it's time to settle down - take the electronics from them till wake up time - I never let them keep that stuff in their room anyway.
You are going to have some trial and error at first till you hit a set of rules that works for you.
If worse comes to worse and the sleepovers get out of hand - just don't do them anymore - there's nothing written in any rule book that says you have to have them at all.
(PS - your husband thinks it's okay for now but if he's the one being woken up by noise from the kids I think he'll change his tune.)

That's what 9 year olds do during sleep overs.

I have a rule with my daughter. I let them stay up late and 1 hour before bed time, it's to her room and PJ time. 10 minutes before lights out, I say ok, 10 minutes. Then it's bathroom time. 10 minutes later, I turn the lights off. As long as they stay quiet, it's all good. They eventually fall asleep.

Just set some ground rules - like all tablets go downstairs at lights out and you'll be fine.

remove the tablets from the room, but beyond that i'd just insist that they stay quiet and not disturb the rest of the household.
sleepovers are rarely for sleeping.
:) khairete
S.

Well no matter what you think, your Husband is the complete opposite and this is his, daughter.
So, well, there is a total contradiction or difference, in "how" you think your Step-Daughter should be and what she should be doing.
And he won't let you, have sleep rules or tablet rules, with his, daughter.

So that, is the problem. Too.

Per sleep-overs... kids do not sleep, when their friend or friends are there. YES, they are up at 2:00am. And think you don't know.
My daughter is 10 now, she has had friends over to sleep since she was 9 as well. And sure we have sleep times as a family. BUT, when she has friends over to sleep, I KNOW the girls will not sleep at their normal times. SO then, per my own daughter... I also KNOW that, it takes her about 1-2 days, just to catch up on her sleep and recover, from any sleep-over. AND a rule of ours is that, she cannot have anyone over, UNTIL she finishes all her homework, first, etc.
ALL the Moms, of my daughter's friends, KNOW that the girls will NOT BE sleeping at their usual times... when there is a sleep-over. And they are fine with it.
And the girls do often have their devices with them. ie: iTouch, tablets, etc. But mostly they are up all night, just chatting. MY own daughter knows... that she CANNOT go on the internet willy-nilly. Because, she listens, to our rules. And she is very good about rules. That we have for her.
But not all kids are. Then, when a kid is NOT good at adhering to their parent's rules... THEN that is where a problem will occur... with internet use and/or device use and what they do on it.
Some kids, can... self-regulate. Some cannot. It has nothing to do with trusting your child or not. It is about, a parent KNOWING their own child... and their child's own deductive and inductive ability to assess things. Or not. Because even if you 'trust' your child, it does NOT mean... that that child has fully developed ability to discern and track and control, their own behavior and judgment. The human brain is not even fully developed until 26 years old. And even some adults are just unable to make smart choices online.

So as a parent, you need to know that, about your own kid. What YOUR child's ability is... to carry out decision making and per their devices and use of it, etc.
And thus, handle the child accordingly....
And that also entails, consistently talking WITH your child, about their life/what they are doing/what their social life is etc., SO that, you as a parent with your child, have a good rapport and communication flow. And so that your child will not have to "hide" things from you. So, giving carte blanche trust to a child... is also a RESPONSIBILITY of the parent. To keep up with their child's activities. SO it is not blind, trust, nor unguided trust.
Because, trusting your child, does not mean just letting them do ANYTHING and doing it blind. And not knowing as a parent, what your child is doing.
Giving trust to a child, also means, being responsible, about it.
A parent still has the responsibility, to teach/guide/have rules with their child. Even if you trust them.