How Many Children. . . . ?

Well, I would say that if you can handle it, go for it! You probably will never regret having another... you may always wonder if you don't. I have 4 kids, and I will say that going from 2-3 was the hardest transition, even harder than going from 3-4. I am a fan of spacing them a few years apart - it makes it much easier. I had 3 c sections as well, and everything went very smoothly, although after my 3rd, the dr. said the scar on my uterus was very thin and I shouldn't have any more. I had my 4th when I was 35. So, I guess my opinion is to go for it, but wait a couple of years...

A better question is how on earth do you find time to be an exercise fanatic? If you have time for that it sounds like you are more than capable (physically and logistically) to have more children- five more in fact.
:)
Seriously though let us know how you do it.

I have three, and three is a LOT harder than two. Even numbers are best. One kid (the oldest) usually gets left out a lot when there are three.

Two is definitely the best number of kids. Two parents, two kids.

But if, when the time comes, you want a third, you will have a third, and you will manage.

Hi T.,
I am 38 1/2 and I didn't start my family until I was 30. I have three children and they were all c-sections. One is 7.5, 4.5 yo and a 2.5 yo. I can honestly say, my third was one of the easier kids (so far). I look at her and think, what a blessing in my life. Her 4 yo brother, really loves her a lot too. He would kiss her just as much as I was when she was born (he was 2yo at the time) There is a special bond between them. I can't imagine my life without her (or any of my kids) she was a little of a surprise baby. She is definitely a daddy's girl too. I would even consider another... My older daughter helps out more and it just works. I believe children are blessings-they help us to look beyond ourselves and self sacrifice. This is becoming more and more counter cultural. We are becoming a society of ME. Best wishes for you and your family!

I have 3. Ages 4 months, 2 years, and 3 years. I had them all by c-section and I'm 41.

For me, three has actually been easier than two and I'll tell you why. When I had two, I felt like I had to do everything by myself. With three, I gave myself permission to get some help. A lot of help. I use a grocery delivery service. I use childcare for all three when I go to the gym, church, anywhere that has it. My youngest go to daycare two mornings a week while the oldest is at preschool and I don't feel guilty for one second about it! I drop my oldest at hourly daycare when I need to (he loves it there -- it's a chain called Kidspark). I told my husband before we even tried for a third (his idea to have a third) what kind of help I would need -- very specifically. Like, "I will need you to feed the kids dinner and put them to bed on Thursday nights so I can leave the house to work (I work from home part time from home)."I will need every Sunday afternoon for myself unless we hire a sitter for all the kids and do something together. We have started hiring a sitter about once or twice a month and my husband and I took up golf together. Before that we never hired a sitter. We never did anything together without the kids. I had to consciously make my husband a priority. It's easy to let that slide with all those needy kids around. It still happens more than I care to admit. I also told him I would need to go out a couple of nights a month with girlfriends -- bookclub, whatever. I never went out with just the two kids. Of course, he gets out too. Divvy up the work ahead of time instead of when you're exhausted and overwhelmed. Be very specific.

So oddly enough I have much more of a life with three. I golf, go out with my friends, have a couple mornings to myself. I go to the gym, Weight Watchers. I am much happier and more patient with my kids and husband because of it.

You will need help after the c-section! Do you have a Mother-in-law or someone that can stay with you for a while? The longer the better, even if they drive you nuts. I had my mom and dad for 1 week prior and 2 post. Then my MIL and SIL came. You'll need people to take the other kids out, help put the kids in their car seats to get to doctor appts. for you and the baby, help cook, clean, allow you to nap, etc.

All the other juggling/behavior issues you've experienced already with two, so I won't get into that.

As far as the risks that come alone with age go, you have to decide that for yourself. I have been very fortunate. Three in a row, no health problems, no miscarriages. I thank God every day for that!

You will have crazy days, and days your are exhausted and frustrated, but I'm sure you have that already.

Good luck and feel free to email me directly if you have any questions about how to deal with specific issues. I wish I had known more moms with three under three to pick their brains for tips/advice. I'm happy to pass on what I've learned by trial and error.

BTW, my advice sort of sounds like I'm giving orders. Not meant that way. Just suggestions. I'm kind of distracted while writing this...

Hi T.,

You sound like a great person to have more, but I think after your 4 yr old is 6 and your baby is 2 1/2, you'll know your answer! lol The reason I say this is because although babies seem to take a lot of time to care for as they get older they require more mental stimulation and your involvement with doing activities with them and the schooling starts. With one in school and one in preschool and the classes and activities they have you 're running around a lot. Having a third of course is more of the same. ( I think you have to be a really organized person to manage three)especially if they are so close together in age. Having one that is 6 years older or so than the younger is nice as they can become a good little helper. I have two and consider myself pretty organized. I would' ve wanted 3, but having kids at 38 and 42 DEFINITELY too old.... dont let the age stop you if the doctors ok the C-section. If your husband is supportive that makes a huge difference. A good friend just had her third and it seems like a piece of cake for her, but she has brothers and sisters and terrific mom to help a lot. That makes a big difference too. I have no sisters and my mom is 85 and not really able to help me. I think I would've been stressed out having three to juggle basically by myself as my husband is working all the time to support us. You may also factor in the personality types of your children now. My 6 yr. old is strong willed, shes super smart,but also very sensitive and since I had her younger sister she feels she's catapulted to adult because she is not a baby anymore. I have to remind her that just because she's not a baby doesnt mean she's automatically up there with the adults (if you know what I mean) If your oldest is easier to control that could make a difference too. (hope control doesnt sound bad, it's just a strong willed child needs a lot of your time and patience,it's hard to spread yourself over three and then still have time for yourself and your husband. My husband is pretty dependent on me when he gets home too.... so anyway, I'd give it another year and 1/2 and then see how things are going for you at that time. :) all the best to you. I love my girls and even though I had them so late, I am so glad I did and pushed for my 2nd. They are my world. (we had trouble getting pregnant so it took a while)

Hi T.,

I was 35 when I had my 1st child & now at 37 I'm a new mom again to an 11 week old - both were c-section babies. Though I'm tired A LOT, I don't feel that I'm MORE tired than I was at 35 - so for me, thinking of a 3rd child, knowing I would be almost 40 when I give birth, just isn't that old. Certainly it's not what my "ideal" would have been but since when does that ever happen? :>

I figure the first 5 years are among the toughest years - physically - as a mom so why not just throw in 1 more since we're already in the midst of sleep issues, eating issues, diapers, etc. My husband isn't quite so keen on adding any additional children but I'm working on him :)

My question about having more than 2 is just the daily stuff like getting around with all of them, grocery shopping, park days, etc. & not "losing it" or losing one of them!! :)

Good luck in your decision - oh, & we never had any issues conceiving & both hubs & I were 36 when I conceived my 2nd child.

T.,

Sounds like two might be enough for you both physically and emotionally. However 33 is NOT old…..wait a few years and see how you feel then. What’s your husband’s take on this?

Blessings….

First I'd like to say that I think you have many more healthy baby making years ahead of you. 32/33 is young. I had 4 c-sections ,my last baby at age 38. We are done now with 4 beautiful healthy kiddo's. For us having 3 children made me wish for 4 to balance it out. It is so nice when you have an even number. I say wish because we thought we were done with 3. I find the more children I have the easier it gets. Yesterday we were all sitting at the table for lunch. There were 8 children with cousins and friends. My daughter said "I wish I had this many sibblings!" I do too. It's so much fun with a home full of children. I hope to some day be a foster parent. So my advice would be to really consider if a third child would make you want a fourth. Then think if you really want 4. You've got pleanty of time to decide. Blessings to you.

We have three boys, fairly far apart (now 9, 13, and 19). I was 30, 35, and 39 (almost 40) when I had them. We had the most trouble conceiving the second; the third was unplanned. So, from my experience, I learned that it can be difficult to plan a certain spacing or amount of children (we originally had thought we'd like 2 children, 3 years apart). Having 3 does take a lot of work, but it can be fun, too. At this point in time, if I were you, I would focus on enjoying the new baby and adjusting having 2, and then see how you and your husband feel in a year or two about trying for another.

Hi T.,
Had to respond because I was in your situation considering a third child also. Instead of having a 3rd I went back to school to get my teaching credential and have been so happy with my decision! That was 25 years ago!
My two are now grown, my oldest expecting my 1st grandchild.
My husband and I are thrilled that we could put them both though college even supporting thru masters degrees. We are also most happy that we could help with down payments on their 1st homes. We live in such an expensive area that we know they would have moved away to be able to afford houses without our help.
We tell ourselves how happy we were with our decision to only have two because we could have never have helped three children like we did two on our teacher and building inspector salaries. One more thing...
The day I got my tubes tied I was sad about the idea of never holding a baby of mine again. But happy that I would never be spread thinner in caring for my two by having a third. Best of Luck! P.

T.,
WE have three. Two were by accident. The second was planned. I grew up with just me and my brother, and we had fun having girls and boys day with our parents. With my kids its hard to do that because we have two girls and a boy, and usually one of the girls resents not getting all of my attention. It was easier with just two. But three is nice also. It's a judgment call on how much you can handle. I found I felt like I was loosing my mind at times, but I did not have a support system to be able to get away. All of the kids were born within 4.5 years also, and that did not help either. The youngest was very asthmatic from 4 months on and that made life tough with constant visits to the doctor with
brochitis and other health issues. Things have cleared up over the years and he is now 15 and the baby of the family. The other two are 19 and 16. It's not easy being a parent no matter how many you have, and the clothes just get more expensive the bigger they get. Boys pants can't be handed down from about the age of 9 on because they keep ripping the knees out, but girls clothes seem to go further.
W. M.

Of course, how many kids you have is a very personal decision. I have two boys, ages 18 and 12, and I never "had" any children. Both my kids were adopted as newborns. You might want to consider adopting, if you get the "baby hunger" in a couple years. But don't go halfway around the world: adopt a child from the U.S. We have plenty of kids here who need homes desperately.

Hi, I just had my 3rd baby a boy to add to my girls. Im 35 and happly married. We dont have a lot of money and my husband just got laid off work temperaly. But we wouldnt change our dision to have anther child ever. If we waited till we had money we could have missed our chance. The recovery time has been a little more dificult this time with my 2nd c-section. but i think that has to do with staples this time and noe the first time. my kids are spaced apart too. 17, 6 and 14 days old. I think you sould faollow your heart. thats what we did.

If you are healthy (and it sounds like you are) and you have the patience...I say go for it! 32 yrs. old is NOT old. I am a 46 yr. old mom of two energetic boys 3 and 5. I have just recently become a stay at home mom and loving it. I have considered another baby many, many times, but feel my body and patience is telling me maybe it's not a good idea. I suggest, keep up your obsession with exercise and after another 6 mos. or so weigh your options then.

Good luck and God Bless!

Hi T..
I have 3 wonderful little boys. 2years and 3 months apart. My oldest is 6, middle is 4 and my youngest is 23 months. I thought having 2 was harder than having 3. The reason why is I was still learning how to divide my time with 2. By my 3 child, I knew exactly what I was doing. Of course the first couple months was a little difficult because we were all transitioning to a new person. I have a baby carrier and it made my life so much easier. I was able to tend to my other two and still be able to feed the baby and have him close by. I have a schedule to help me get through my day. It doesn't always plan out that way, but it is a guide line to help me keep my sanity. My older one helps me out a lot. When I am busy with the baby and DH is at work, he helps with the other my middle one with picking out clothes, getting his snack. Every once in awhile it does get overwhelming if one gets sick. But really it's not that bad if you have your husband and the kids helping out. As far as having a c section, I can't be of much help there. I haven't had one. If you do decide on a third. a carrier, like the moby or ergo would help out so much. It's my life saver.

I was 36 when I had my 3rd girl. My older two are 3 1/2 and 5 1/2 years older then her. All my pregnancies were natural delieveries. At times it is a challenge but I love each one. I also work full time. I hope this helps.

Hi T.,

I am an older mama with three. I was 40 when our third was born. Do not worry about your age at all. My OB said that more than 1/2 of his patients are over 35. That used to be considered "high" risk, but has become more of the norm, at least in Silicon Valley. I was a little more tired with the third pregnancy and waking up for night-time feedings, but that was the only difference for me.

I had the same fear that the third would push us over the edge. However, we have a big gap (5 years) between the second and third, so that is not the case at all. The older kids are so independent, that it was no problem devoting enough time to the baby. I really enjoyed having a baby again!

I would recommend not worrying about this now. You will know if/when you are "ready".

-D.

T.,

I adore children, especially babies, but I have a different perspective. I had one, a boy (no girls, sigh!) at 32 and started menopause at 36, so that was it for me. But I think I would have adopted older children or done foster care if we could have managed it. The bottom line is, what will the future be like for another child? We are approaching environmental collapse, and by the time a third child is an adult we will be in deep trouble. The fewer people we have, the less distress we will cause. So, I would stop now, except for adoption or foster care.

E.

Hi T.,

If you're 32 now and you want to have another in a couple of years that does not make you an older mom - especially not nowadays.

I had my first when I was 37 and am expecting my second in October and I will be turning 40 in August. I do not feel 'older' at the playground at all. I feel more experienced and more ready than I would have been in my 20s.

Obviously there is a lot to take into consideration, but I would not worry about your age. The risks to the baby do increase, but you'll only be on the very bottom of that curve and you could have a baby with problems at any age (as we all know). You may not have as much energy as you would've when you were younger, but you have much more experience, so it's a trade off. Either way, you win.

Good luck with your decision. Don't put any pressure on yourself to make the decision now. That said, give yourself plenty of time to conceive. Both of my babies took over a year to conceive and that definitely gets more difficult with age.

All the best, D.

Hoe many children is a very individual answer. I have four. First at 31, then 33, 36 and 39. They are now 18 (boy), almost 16 (girl), 13 (boy), and 10 (boy) years old. For me going from one to two was the hardest, after that it didn't matter. For others it was going from two to three that was hard. My husband travels every month, so I was out numbered at two kids. I think when you have more than two they learn to be more independent and they look out for each other (doesn't mean there is no fighting). I think they learn to do more for themselves because there is only one me. I don't think this is bad. I work full time. I will admit that exercising has taken a back seat. I did well with two and got worse after three and four. Could also be that as they get older there is more things to do in the evening - like homework, sports, etc. I am busy and often tired, but I love having four kids. I love watching them grow into their own person. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Hi. We started out family when we were 29. My husband and I were both 30 when we had our first little girl. We now have two and are looking forward to a 3rd, we are both 33. I wanted the third to be a little sooner than we are waiting, but we are in a transition right now. Funny that I read this because I have a friend who just had her 3rd-well actually her 3rd is almost 1 now. She is younger than I am. I asked her how 3 is. She said it is not a problem. I have always heard that 3 is the hardest, but once you have done 3 adding on is not a problem-haha. She said it has been fine though. As your children get older they also get more helpful. It is nice because my 18 month old learned to throw away her diaper from watching her older sister when she was in diapers.

I was going to say it sounds like you have already made up your mind. It sounds like you are done, but at the same time you must have the feeling you want another or why would you be asking this!! Give it some time and let your baby grow up and then think about it again. I haven't been looking forward to a 3rd, but now that my second is older it seems like I could handle it more.

I can't help on the multiple children issue as I've only got one right now. But on the age thing...I wouldn't let that worry you. I had mine at almost 35 and have friends/relatives who've carried at 40. I'm still considering having another in the next couple of years, and I'm 38. At 32, I still think you're young and have plenty of time to make this decision in a couple years. Don't feel the need to rush it. Yes, the risks of issues increase as your age progresses, but overall those risks are still relatively low. And you could always visit a genetic counselor to see if you're at an increased risk of any disease in particular. We had to do this in the early stages of my pregnancy as because a relative of my husband has Downs. But all was well, and it was helpful to see the "numbers" (which were much smaller than I expected) for all those other issues. Hope that helps!

Hi T.,

I have 3 kids although, 2 are a set of twins. I was 34 and 36 for both of my pregnancies.

Firstly, I will admit that 3 is very different to 2. Even now when the one child is with their grandmother or out with a friend, I notice a huge difference between managing 2 and 3. 3 is a lot harder!

It sounds like you have a lot more energy than I do, since you exercise so much, but I have regrets about waiting so long to have my kids. I had a wonderful full life before they were born and was COMPLETELY ready for kids when I had them, but my body sure isn't what it used to be.

Having said that, I am so happy having a family with 3 kids. It is the perfect number of children, in my opinion.It's like having a "large" family without needing to have more than 3 kids. That seems enough to get the large family feeling! My kids are very close in age though so I think that makes it really fun too.

I don't think you can go wrong either way. We tend to rise to the occasion when we are given the gift of any child at any time, when we give it a chance. Good luck!

Hi T.,
I have three wonderful children--2 boys ages 22 and 20 and my girl is 15. I'm 54. You do the math. My first was born when I was 31.

You didn't mention whether you have boys or girls--that was the kicker for me--I wanted my girl, and I did my homework. But I fought for her for two years before my hubby caved in and said okay. You also didn't mention your husband's opinion on the whole matter.

I would say--since you're planning on giving it a few years anyway--to wait and see how you feel in a year or two. I will say the third was really not much more overwhelming than the second, maybe even easier. But everyone has their own experience.

Give it some time and see how you feel.

Enjoy your baby--the second grows up much faster, or so it seems! And suddenly they're in their twenties!!!

Hi, I am the mother of two boys and one girl (in that order). Our daughter was a "surprise" baby and we can't imagine life without her. But I'll just tell you that 3 is overwhelming in many different ways. All three are separated by 2-1/2 years. When I had my second child, I was more overwhelmed than when I had my third. But then as they started getting a little bigger, it was a little more challenging. Going on vacation is more expensive and also, most hotel rooms don't allow 5 in a room so you either get two rooms or sneak a kid in (limits you on all-inclusive vacations and a cruise). Going to Disneyland or an amusement park...one person is riding alone. Now that my kids are 13, 11, and 8, the tricky part is sports. This year I have one playing comp soccer out of town, and the other two playing soccer in town coached by my husband and myself. So we will most likely be sending our oldest off to his games alone (which is really bumming me out). Just one more thing about 3, the middle child tends to have some issues. If you are considering a third, I think I would recommend 4. I wish I would have had one more but I was 35 when I delivered my daughter and I was done. Best of luck to you in your decision and you do have some time to think about it.

Dear T.-

You will get as many opinions as there are fingers to type them, so ultimately, it is up to you and your family BUT . . . My experience is that I had 3 kids but spread out really "too far" due to a second marriage. My first was 10 when I had my second and he was almost 5 when I had my third (at 40). OK, they are grown and are all very close but to be honest, the experience for the first was not as ideal if they had been spaced closer together(but she loved them a ton!). The second two more or less grew up together.

My daughter (the first) has 3 that are 10, 6 and 5. Yes, she will have them raised way before I finished getting mine out of college this last spring, but sometimes having the three still so young together is mighty stressful.

So, my advice is to wait a couple of years (most people seem to think 2.5 years apart is "ideal"), as you indicated, and have that third baby. You are so not too old! As far as that third one pushing you over the edge, well, I think people these days expect too much anyway. When I grew up it was not uncommon for people to have 4, 6 (us) and even more kids and we went to college, had fun, our parents had time together and pretty much survived just fine. Some people with 1 kid just can't manage "juggling" everything! It is not a judgement on your or anyone's character to say 1 or 2 is enough - but it is not all that tough to parent 3 as opposed to two. It's a personal decision (as in you and your husband) and not your mother-in-law's decision or your best friend or anyone else's. And again - 33 is not very old!!!! Lots of luck!!

Greetings T.: I have to say that as serious as your question is I am smiling. I am the mother of 4 birth children, 1 adopted child Yes 5 one of them has a form of Aspberger's Syndrom-- also I have been a foster mother for several wonderful children some of which are still apart of our lives. At times we had as many as 7 children at a time living here sometimes for a few hours,a few days or longer.
I am now the Grandmother of 5 with one on the way and am blessed with several grandchildren from my foster children.
So to have only 2 or 3 seems like you are goingto be missing out on alot of joy, crazy times,confusion, love and more fun in your older age than you can ever dream of.
I have had my own business, worked out of the home( partly for my sanity) and am very busy with my church. But nothing I have ever done will ever be more outstanding and rewarding than being a "Mom". We may have sacrificed in some areas but we have created memories that are so treasured by all of us. I can tell you some of what we learned over the years.
1. there is never enough time to do everything so value and importance made the top of our list.
2. Keep them busy- we had 2 girls in dance, 4 boys all in baseball at the same time. Boy Scouts saved our bacon more than once for the things they learned and the activities and values they learned.
3. We made daddy dates and he would take them for a few hours at a time even after they left home & it is time that they talk about still.
4. wear clothes to bed--- we would wake up and could find 3 kids all curled up next to us or on the floor in a pile of quilts. But we also had wonderful teaching moments because our kids would come in and talk about dates, troubles, how they hated a sibling etc, late at night.
5. If you can cook for 2 you can cook for 6. My husband was such a dear about helping and being the heartbeat of the family. Me- I am more the one that sets boundries and rules so we are balanced in our parenting.
6. If you only have one child or 10 there will always be a shortage of money.
I have to say that I was 37 when the last one was born.
I have several friends that have had more than 4 c sections and one that I talked to today said that everyone was worth it.
Having children is a special gift. All it takes is love and a willing heart. I am not saying that it was ever easy-- it was hard at times to keep life in balance, to see children leave, to have life not always be fair. Some how I had to learn that the laundry would not ever run away, to get the children to help - to make lists and see how to get everything done- Mostly to learn to be flexable and to make sure that the rules they live by are ones that they can achieve and are firm. for example: I am your mother not your friend; No one has the right to misuse and dishonor our family name; Live the 10 Commandments as a foundation and no they are not mulitipul choice; modesty is important for your own self respect and no matter what Your parents love you and cherish you as a gift from God and that is without conditions.
Are my children perfect? No but they are wonderful people that I am proud of . This all something for you to think about along with all the rest of the facts that you have been given. Feel free to contact me if you want anymore information. Good Luck with your decisions and enjoy the adventure of parenthood it like nothing else that you will ever do. Nana G

There's a lot to consider when planning a family. Our third was a surprise. We wouldn't have been brave or bold enough to have three, but now that we do have three we love it and could not imagine our lives without our third. I was 29, 32 and 34 when I delivered. My first was vaginal and the last two were c-section. I had my tubes tied when I delivered #3 because I knew 3 was enough. (I didn't want another c-section and we were out numbered enough at 3.) My eldest was 5 when I had #3 and that was a good age difference for us. Honestly, 2 is overwhelming, and 3 is more overwhelming. Make sure your husband is agreeable because you will need his help. My husband has bonded so well with #3 mostly because #2 is so attached to mommy.
Good luck making you decision!

I have two girls ages 10 and 12 and am currently pregnant with my third--very much a surprise! I am going to be 36 years old in a few months and I would have to say that this third pregnancy has been such a blessing. I feel great and think this third child has brought so much more joy to our family. I work full-time as a teacher and my husband is currently out of a job. He will play Mr. Mom for now and we are not in the best financial position to be having another baby--However, the importance of family and the pregnancy has brought us so much closer. I have no regrets for having a third child--even at the old age of 36!

This is just my gut reaction and also because I cannot have any more after having two...

If I was 32, an exercise enthusiast and had the desire, I would heal from CSection, get expert doctor, consult with my husband, financial advisor, pray about it and not wait past 35-36...and have two more to give you comfort..do the genetic counseling and shoot for a girl. While girls do have special needs, our boys typically are more vulnerable.

When I was pregnant with my second at 38, our geneticist was delighted it was a girl and explained it to me. She is healthy.

Blessings and enjoy your two...be sure you and husband are in total agreement..

Hi T., I am 34 years old and am pregnant with #4. By the time this little one is born at the beginning of Oct., I'll have a 7 1/2, 6, 3 and a newborn. We are defintely calling it quits after this. #3 is more of a challenge just trying to balance your time amongst them all and now that the other two are older and want to do more activities it can be trying, however, she is an amazing little girl and can't imagine my life without her. I was concerned when I became pregnant this time, feeling overwhelmed, what am I doing?? Can I handle this?? But now I'm getting into it. All the kids are excited, the older ones want to help out, and besides they are both going to be in school full day this year so I'll have all day with just the little two. I'm looking forward to it. Long term thinking, having a big family is so much fun and rewarding. It will be tough at times to balance, but worth it. Now, it definetly takes a toll on the body the more you have kids. But for you being an exercise buff maybe your body will not take it so hard. I'm in no means overweight, but there are other issues which are not pretty. But I over being so young and hot and I've been married for 13 years now, so I'm more comfortable in my skin as it will end up being. I don't know if this helps, but all your concerns are valid, but children are amazing, and the love and cherishable moments you get from them, is worth every struggle. Oh yeah, in regards to a c-section, #2 was a c-section for me because he was breach. I had a natural birth for #3. Having a c-section was not as traumatic as I feared. I have more pain and torture through the first month of breastfeeding with engorgement and mastitis than they pain of a c-section. I was up and about after the 1st week, sore for awhile, but it was fine. And the scar, now after 5 years is not really noticable. So if you have to have one, it's not the end of the world. Good luck on your decision and congradulations on your newest little one, too.:)