How Much Food Do You Send?

You are a VERY special person! And you make God smile. I can say this because I was a foster mom too! I have been there also. I started with foster but realized when they brought me my first set of twins that I would not be able to let them go to another home..so in less than a year I adopted them...I have had the school call CPS three times. My son is Bi-polar and my daughter is Diabetic. We have been a family since 2002 and they are just now able to realize that they are not going to be taken away in the middle of the night and that I do love them and that I will not give them away...

My kids are always hungry also and my son last year was taking his lunch and buying his luch and was still hungry. I found out he was doing this one day when I dropped in at school to say hi and he had two lunches in front of him..

You are able to let them go and hats off to you for that ...I will keep you in my prayers...

Hi P.,

I don't understand, but I am signing up to be in your same shoes. I am working on the application to Lena Pope to be a foster parent.
Do you have a therapist that you can work with? I am sure plenty of your kids have been in therapy. If not, maybe you could try to find some help from Catholic Charities. I know they offer all kinds of family services and they have foster care placement, so they may be able to help.
I'm sure finding time to get a child to yet another appointment is almost impossible, but I hope you and your temporary family all do well.

Peace and Joy,
M.
www.yogapotential.com

Terri C gave you very good advice and you need to recognize that they may never stop begging because it is so difficult to make them believe that they are living in a stable environment that will be there tomorrow. My stepson's children are all this way. When three of them visited with us they had three plates, the same portions my 16-year-old daughter eats, and they would still ask for more.

You do need to explain to the people interacting with them that they have attachment and socialization issues because of their histories and that what they are doing is normal. Maybe you could keep some snacks at school or in your vehicle for kids to eat while shuttling to activities.

You also might want to think of the load you are carrying. While you want to provide help to as many children as you can, everyone has a finite store of energy and emotional resources and you sound very, very tired. If one or more of the children is replaced, you might want to consider holding off on providing a placement for another one. Give you some time to recharge your batteries.

You need some time to yourself as well, even if it is taking a long bath late at night or sitting on the porch by yourself after the kids are in bed. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of them.

P.,

These children not only have an issue with people leaving them, but they hoard because they still can't let themselves believe that they will have more food that night.
I would say that you should tell the coaches (or whoever is telling you that you don't send enough food) what you sent (and maybe show them), then explain the child's problem. I wouldn't take them out of the sports. That not only gives you a break, but also helps them to get out some "extra" energy in a safe way.
Of course, they don't understand (or believe) you'll be around. Some may even be trying to push you to prove that you'll give up on them too.
The main thing is that you need to make sure you take time for you. When parents (not just foster parents) don't find a way to make time for themselves is when they burn out. Whatever it is that you like to do, make sure you do it for yourself and your sanity. You can't do anything for these children if you don't help yourself first.
I can say this as a previous group home parent, current school counselor (we have Autisic children), current adoptive parent of a child from a Russian orphanage. We also have plans for being foster parents in the near future. We ALL need help at times. That's what this group is for, but we need physical help as well at times.
Autistic and bi-polar children are a blessing, but definitely a different challenge than a "normal" child. To have multiple children like this adds even more concern to this.

Please find someone to help before this burn out leads to you giving up on them or someone gets hurt (including you).

Sweet friend. You have devoted your life to some of the hardest kids in the world. I am sending you a BIG HUG!
Have you thought about keeping apples or something out like fruit. If they are really hungry they will eat that.

Keep your chin up

WOW! I couldn't imagine what you must be going through. I COMMEND you for what you are doing. I think it is amazing.

Maybe try giving them two sandwiches instead of one. Do you think that would help. I know it can hard having to "unlearn" a learned behavior.

Hang in there...it will get better.

I just wanted to send you a note and let you know I think you are doing a GREAT thing! And that you are such a great person for doing this! I have one special needs child (5 year old) and and an 11 month old. I can't imagine what you are going through but the children sure are blessed by you! I wanted to let you know you will be in our prayers and keep up the great work! Be encouraged and may God bless you! I just have to remember patience and endurance! over and over again...

That sounds like a normal lunch but what about carrot sticks and apple, Antioxidants. They need about 5 snacks and meals of fruits and veggies. That sugar may set them off too. I can not imagine what you are living through. Sports is just too much to handle with all those kids. One with difficulty would be more then a lot of us could take. Bless you over and over and may God provide the means and support you need. I do not know how you can afford to drive them all and pay for sports on top of it. Just the food alone is a huge undertaking. I have a day care at home and when I have ten kids I am ready for them to go home. I hope you have a lot of help with this. Ask for help from the community all you can. God Bless G. W

Wow...you have a lot on your plate! You are doing a good thing! I pack the same thing in my kids' lunch for school, but I also try to include an apple or some fruit or maybe some baby carrots or something as well. I have also learned on days when gym class happens, they need extra food! I hope this helps you out! And again, you are doing a wonderful thing, and just keep your chin up, because it will get better!