How Much Freedom to Give to 13 Year Old Boy?

Well I have a 12 year old who is the same. He doesnt have girls coming over or him going over there. Phone calls I allow and they go to public places as long as another adult is there to supervise. I'm not ready for this myself. Definately not ready for them to be alone together at all. Kids start too young these days.

13 is very young to be so girl crazy. It seems like at 13 he would want to spend the majority of his time with his male friends that have similar interests. Alone time with girls would be completely out of the question. At 13 you should not have friends of the opposite sex in your bedroom unattended at all not to mention to watch a movie. If you allow that I think your just asking for trouble. I think having a girl over at all at this age is a bit forward however if there were a few friends over both boys and girls it would be a bit more acceptable but still not unattended, for example they all could watch a movie in the family room but not it a bedroom.
Good luck

Teenagers these days are all different. What works for some won't for others. Where some may need tough love...others need consistent emotional and spiritual support. What ever teen wants, but sometimes doesn't have a clue to get it and keep it is...TRUST. It's not always the teen who doesn't deserve the trust, it's our perception however wrong or right, about society and its many temptations. I believe you would have to evaluate his values and beliefs to know where he stands on things. Since he recently came to live with you, you may or may not know what he already truly believes about life. When you find out interact with him in different scenarios to gain a deeper understanding of where he is coming from. Then you could tailor make a plan that will make you feel better about what choices you and your husband make raising him through the teenage years. Every so often you may want to revisit the scenario game to see if he's picking up on life and living it responsibly. That way you could better gage whether or not pulling tighter is needed or letting go seems more easier and justifiably warranted.

Good Luck and I hope I have helped. :)

Hi there:
I am the mom of 5 (your's, mine and ours) Only one left at home who is 12. My 19 year old son was quite the Cassanova since pre-school (no kidding) Our rules were, girls were never allowed in their rooms. We were lucky enough to have a family room in our basement where they could watch movies, or get away from the rest of the family. Doors open, and no blankets. we could check on them periodically at no set intervals (for the surprise element) If it was too quiet I would call down, or ask him to come up for some reason. At 13 they were allowed to go to movies with friends, a parent had to drop them off and pick them up. Not an older freind. Couple dating at 16 with cerfews. A lot depends on the girls too, don't be afraid to get to know them. At 15 he met the girl of his dreams, whom he is still with and will be engaged to soon. Once we got to know her and her family we could trust them more and they were allowed more freedom. She has even spent the night, and he at her home. She sleeps downstairs and he upstairs on the couch.

My oldest is 14 and a girl but even though my boys are only 4yr and 8 mo. The rules I set for my daughter will apply to them too. I know people are always worried about only protecting girls but boys have to deal with the consequences of their actions too. In this day and age I would be very careful. I would only let him go to the girls house if you had spoken with her parents and know that they will be monitored and in your house I would make them keep the door open to any room they are in. Better safe than sorry.

my son will be 13 in march. i give him no privacy whatsoever with members of the opposite sex. they are not little kids any more, and don't set yourself up with habits at 13 that will make you cringe at 16! i was fortunate enough to watch my husband's 3 older kids go through all this teen stuff before my own did, and decide what i liked and what i didnt as far as how he handled things.

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The question is...How much freedom do WANT to give to your 13 year old boy? My exhusband's parents had a one foot open door rule. The door had to stay open and one foot of each person had to remain on the floor at all times. My parents had a do and die rule...let them find one person of the oposite sex in the house much less in my room and I would die an early death. You need to decide how far you want him to be able to go with this, set the rule, make the consequenses and stay in your comfort zone. For me, my rule would be nobody in the house unless I'm home and they can't go any further than the kitchen and livingroom. But also keep in mind that kids are creative and if they intend to go further in their relationships then they will find a way. It may be a good idea to have the talk with him. Explaine about sex leading to babies and be sure to explaine and describe in painful detail every disease known to man...perhaps that will slow him down.

My kids aren't that old yet, but when I was kid the rules my parents had seemed to work out great. I was happy with them. We compromised on stuff. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, but starting at age 13, I could go out on a group date... like 3-4 couples to the movies or mall or whatever. The only computer in the house was the one in my bedroom -- I had been saving for a long time (I'm going to really show my age and tell you it was a commodore64 - yes, it was the 80s!). So... if I wanted a friend over (and most my friends tended to be guys) to play computer games, we were allowed to be alone in my room, but the door was always open. Mom made a point to walk by every 10-15 minutes to peek in, but never said anything or bugged us. We could also watch a movie in there if we wanted to... with lights on and door open. I think giving him some freedom is a good thing... less likely to rebel and be totally "bad"... and give him a chance to earn your trust. I always respected my parents more than some of my friends did because they trusted and respected me... they were the ones with stricter rules and they rebelled more. My friends were the ones having sex early and drinking and caught shoplifting - not me.

I have a 13 year old daughter...but she isnt into boys at all, she could care less about them. My boys when they were growing up never did things like that because i never allowed it. My best advice to you is tell him what is appropriate and what isnt and enforce that. He is now in your home and he will have to go by YOUR rules not what he wants to do. Use tough love...if he doesnt like it oh well thats his problem not yours.

Firts off, congradulations! Firts you and you man need to come to a ruling, "Is he old enough for a girlfriend?" At 13 it is hard to say. Our rules are no, not until 16. Second, alone in the bedroom for any amount of time I would say No!I know parents that would disagree with me and I know parents that would agree. However, you have to make the choice. If you decide he is old enough for girlfriends, i would keep it where you and your husband can see them at all times. Second going over to girls houses no,no. Unless you have meet the parents, know what there rules are concering boys and if anyone is home while your son is at there home.At 13, I wouldnt allow the girl scene , but if i did, it would be strictly watched, no alone time at anyones home. As far as freedom, curfews,bed times, get names,phone numbers and addre. for every one of his friends. meet all the parents, let your mommy gut tell you yes or no.Let him have fun, but remeber that he is only 13 and think about the worst situation you do not want ot happen, and what you can do to help prevent it. I hope this helps.

A.

first good luck on your new baby...and no at 13 you donot let them in bedroom alone..or any where alone...13 is too young to me given the chance to leave alone with a girl...let him have a small get together with a few boys and girls but you right htere in ear and eye shot...my sons are 15 and 16 and i still do not let them alone wiht girls...it is only trouble to do that...but you do what you feel is right..L.

well this is a fun one.... depending on the child checking in could be ok but at the same time if hes a rebel he will get mad and do what it is you dont want him doing. And i hate to say it but if he wants to have sex he will. so just make sure he knows about birthcontrol condoms ect and the sex talk.... but i would say open door policy deff a good idea. but if he has that on his mind (and most kids do) theres no way you can stop him. good luck!