How Often Do You Have Sex with Your Husband

Updated on January 25, 2013
J.B. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
20 answers

So.... have often heard women say their husband is always in the mood for sex. Is this real or just a myth, as my husband of 10 years can go without it for a month or more unless i insist on initiating something!!

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband feels like he is being deprived if he goes more than 2 days without...the big baby!

He is 42 and I am 35, been together for 17 years....if any of that matters?

~Everyone is different!

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a myth.
We have always been a once or twice a week kind of couple, sometimes more, sometimes less.
Now that we're a little older (me 44, him 52) I am definitely up for it more than he is.
But then again, he IS the one doing all the work LOL!

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More Answers

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My husband works a lot. 50-60 hours a work. And not in an office, he is manual labor.
We have AMAZING sex once a week. I wish it was more....but I am about quality, not quantity.
L.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

J.:

The problem with this question? Every household is different. Stress levels, jobs, children, in-laws, finances, car problems - all of it play a role in a man being able to get it up - as does health issues.

If your husband is still in 30's or early 40's? I would take him to the doctor and have his testosterone levels checked via a blood draw. Depression can also cause a low sex drive....

We get together any chance we get....making out is fun too...especially with kids...makes later that much fun...

And for women? Many hit their sexual peak in their 30s...it's different for every couple...

I'd get him tested to make sure all is well on his end....

GOOD LUCK!

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T.A.

answers from Elkhart on

My boyfriend and I have been together over 20 yrs, were in our mid 40's with 9 kids still at home and 2 out the house and yes we had them all. 3,4,5,6,8,10,11,15,19,20 and 23. I don't want any more sex, i've had enough. LOL

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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

We try for at least 1x per week. I am the one that initiates mostly any more. our schedules don't help. I have to be in bed by 9:30 to be up by 5:00. He has activities 3x per week until after 10.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

couple of times a week .

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I agree with "WildOne", he should probably go to the doc. I saw that you are 33, so I'm assuming he's around the same age? If this is the case and he is in his 30's, it's really not normal for him to be not want sex for a month or so. Men typically have a higher sex drive because of testosterone they have.

We have been married 16 years and my husband would have it every day if I let him, haha. We average 2-4x/ week depending on kids sports schedule and his travel schedule. It surprises me when I read on here how many women are saying they are always the ones to initiate. So, just a thought, talk to him in a calm and loving way, not a "nagging" way and tell him you don't feel this is normal and let's just go get some bloodwork done and make sure everything is ok with his health.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yeah... U sound like my soul sister. We could be best friends really. What is the deal with the no sex!!! It has driven me so crazy for so long that now once a month when he wants to have it I feel like he is just doing it to make me happy. What a ridiculous thing! We have kids and all but I still want to do it always! I feel at 42 like I am in my prime! It's so pathetic it's almost laughable! Good luck to us! Most of our friends have sex. I am a pretty hot 42 year old. I know I dint look how I looked 20 years ago but really? Lol.

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M.H.

answers from Knoxville on

My husband is 14years older than me... He is 42 and I am 28... and we have sex every night... it really doent matter about age... it could be that he is not a physical type mail... my brother and his wife go with making love once a month... and they are extreamly happy... have you talked about it with him... let him know if it is bothering you...

1 mom found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

Our average is 3-5 times a week.

1 mom found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

4 times a week.

We went through a slump where it was 1-4 times a month! For various reasons like pregnancy, babies, and weight gain (on his part). We dealt with it by having a conversation. I wanted sex every night. He said he wanted every other night. So 4 times a week was our compromise.

Have you asked him?

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D.C.

answers from Honolulu on

My ex could go 3 months...and now he's my ex. ;-)

But I also later learned that medications (like for high blood pressure) affect libido. Something to look into. Also, had I been a bit older, I might not have taken the lack of interest as such a personal rejection. But that's all hindsight.

Good luck!

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H.G.

answers from New York on

2-3X per week usually. We are in our mid 40s and have been married for 20 years. We consider ourselves very happily married if that matters.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

I have gone 18 months without. I always initiate. It's probably low testosterone or other health problem. A very good book, which even if it doesn't get you more sex might make you feel better, is The Sex Starved Wife by Michelle Weiner (think I have author right.)

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband is (45yo) 8 years older than I am and I use to jokingly threaten to drive by high schools. I found a natural product that has helped mellow his mood - he was always slightly agitated....AND increase his sex drive like it was 14 years ago. He'll brush up against me in the kitchen now. He kisses me unexpectedly. He's wanting to plan our anniversary and it's not until July. I have NO idea who this man is - but after 4 months on this stuff, he's my dream. It's called Biospec AndroXY and we got it from our holistic doc. He only takes 2 in the am. I think the bottle calls for 4....but I might be afraid of that! LOL

Before this, he never initiated and we'd go 4-6 weeks. Now, it's about every 2-3 days. He's a SAHD of 4 and homeschooling them and I work (and help with the homeschooling) so we are BOTH exhausted. There are literally, NO breaks in our life.

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think everyone has a different sex drive, regardless of gender. My sex drive is much stronger than my husband's and always has been. I go on his nerves really...

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

1xwk. Always surprised by how much ppl on ths site are doing it! We've been together 20 yrs, maybe that's why less than others...

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Once a week, but I would love to do two or three! We are in early 40s, and I have always had a higher drive.

S.H.

answers from San Diego on

You're not alone. My husband is the same. It is totally up to me. The crazy thing is, when we talk about it, he says that he does want it, but for whatever reason we just don't. Busy, kids, different sleep schedules... We have to schedule vacations out of town, or I swear we could go forever. This year, however, that was our new year's resolution - more sex. It's not so easy to always be the instigator, especially for me, but I've found if I just flirt with him or say little sexual innuendos here and there, it helps him to 'get in the mood' and he'll suddenly be all touchy and frisky.

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