How Should I Deal with This(long)

In most school districts if someone is out for an extended amount of time, they really try to get a certified teacher as the sub. Uncertified personnel can usually only sub for 19 days in the same position, then they have to change subs. This is not good for the kids and is why they try to get a certified teacher in the position. They are usually newly certified teachers that havent found a job yet or retired teachers that want to make a few extra dollars.

Just stop. Really. You started all of this by assuming that the sub (whom you refer to as a babysitter) would not be teaching your child during the teacher's absence. Because of the length of a maternity leave, substitute teachers are required to be certified and follow the curriculum.

What's your goal here? You wanted him in third grade and he is. Are you looking for someone to be punished? That won't happen. Even if it did, due to privacy regulations you would never know about it.

Couple of incorrect legal citations here:
1. No Child Left Behind is NOT Dade County's vision/motto. It's a piece of Federal legislation and has NOTHING to do with grade retention.
2. Legally, only report cards, registration papers and disciplinary notices are maintained in a cummulative file. I used to have my secretaries purge permanent files annually to make certain that other items (like IEP's, custody notifications and other personal items) were removed. Your communication with the school is not considered "official documentation". You kept it, but they are not required to do so.
3. Educators want parents to support student learning. What you are doing is attacking the school district in a non-productive manner. Again, what is your end goal here?

You elected to move your child, you elected to question the sub's capability and you allowed your child to be retained (you must have signed something b/c they can't do it without your permission).

I'm sure you're looking for someone to encourage you to file a suit, but you have nothing to file under. Step back, re-enroll your son in some activities and find another outlet for your anger.

sounds as if your son is over-protected, micro-managed and on top of that, punished for your anger at the school(s).
i suggest you stop the drama and actually work WITH people to create the best atmosphere for your son possible.
creating hostility everywhere you go under the guise of 'protecting' your child does not do this.
step away from the adrenaline.
khairete
S.

First of all, it sounds like you have an issue with subs and you feel they are not capable of TEACHING. You are "on their a$$es".

I beg to differ, I have been a sub for 10 yrs and we do TEACH. We are not
babysitters". Many subs are retired TEACHERS and people like myself who are perfectly qualified to teach AND manage our multi million dollar company. "Gees, subs have brains??"

If this is the attitude you portray to the principal and board, they you have set yourself up because I know from experience, the principal and teachers make sure the subs they have are well qualified. By approaching the school staff in this manner, you are insulting the school, school board, teachers and staff. Maybe each and everyone of your emails and calls are not returned because they already know you will find something to complain about.

As President of the booster club we have a member like you. ALWAYS has a complaint.. I could hand her 1 million in cash and she would have something to complain about.

Maybe you should homeschool if you are so much better qualified to teach your son.

YES, schools want and encourage parental participation but when we have a parent who is the constant complainer, high mainatinence, we don't mind if you go away. Same with business.... when we have customers who have to have their hands held to get through a transaction, it is not worth our time to deal with them.

Grow up. You are an adult with children now. Act like one.

Of course you need to support your son and be his advocate but you can go too far and it appears that you have. Don't be so judgemental.... that's where it started.

It's too bad this all happened. It's also too bad you made our son suffer even more by removing him from sports and activities, when he was already feeling left out by his peers passing him a grade. It seems like you took a kind of crappy situation and escalated it into a worse one.

As for the 1 in 19... is that in his class or in his school? If it's all in his class, with failing grades such as that, the school will be rated and can lose it's funding eventually, if you really want to stir things up, you can either go to the media, or the DOE like another mom suggested. Or since he was placed in the 3rd grade and doing fine now, let it drop so that your son's education can continue and he can get back to normal as soon as possible.

I wonder if he was held back due to his own difficulties. You had preterm labor due to the stress and overreacted and pulled him out of activities. I really feel for you, but I wonder if you are exaggerating on these difficulties based on your rash behavior.

As for them holding him back to punish you... that is very unlikely. Typically, they would want to hurry up and get him out of the school so they won't have to deal with a family anymore, not hold them back as punishment.

As for some of the new principal being related to a school board person, that shouldn't matter. Family does not always see eye to eye and that person was in their positions before this issue, so it's not like they strategically moved them there to spite you.

If you absolutely hate this school, then apply for a charter or private school in your area. Just choose your battles and let your son have some peace. You can always get him a private tutor as well.

Okay, I'm very confused as to the point you're trying to convey. I have a few questions for you, as well as comments. First of all why did you remove your son from sports? Was this a form of punishment for him being left behind? As a mother of 3rd grader I still work with my child at home, just to reinforce what he's learning in school. I think it's wrong that you're blaming everything on the teacher/school system. First and foremost your the 1st teacher your son knows. Instead of finding ways to blame the teachers you should try working with them to find the source of the problem.

If you're son was promoted to the 3rd grade why are you still pushing the issue? Let by-gones be by-gones and move forward to help your son a productive school year. Another issue your son may be having is the lack of support from home(you). You have allowed your self to become stressed out which may have resulted in having your baby early, not your son. As a mother of two you need to pick and choose your battles wisely(meaning don't start drama if you don't have to). Last, I know we're not perfect but if your sending professional emails, letters, notes, etc. make sure you do spell check before sending any professional documentation! I wish your son the best of luck in 3rd grade( try to be more involved in a positive manner)

I just have to ask- was the sub not a qualified sub? Usually picking a sub when someone is planning a maternity leave, surgery, extended absence is not just a whim decision. Usually it is well thought out, a sub who has been doing this for years, a former teacher, an assistant teacher, and, the teacher is actually involved in the decision of who will be running his or her classroom.

That being said- I would make sure that you sound very professional in your communication with the school and the board. Make sure you are using spell-check and checking your grammar.

Meet with the superintendent and take all of your documentation. (I'm assuming you are trying to get him back into the 'A' school, not really sure what you're still pushing for at this point actually?) Surely you have everything and are not depending on them to have everything, right? Tell him what you are wanting, wishing for your child. If they cannot provide it, then go to your state education board.

I am curious as to the fuss about the sub though? It is very standard to bring a sub in during a maternity leave. It is not like they can hire an actual teacher, or fire the teacher for having a baby. It is very standard also that it will not be a babysitter sub. My daughter started this year with a sub while her teacher was on maternity leave for the first 8 weeks of 5th grade. I couldn't tell the difference. Many subs, (like the ones they choose for these types of things), actually have teaching degrees, but, do not want to work full time. Did you find out any of this information before you started creating this drama? Was the sub qualified?

Well, you successfully got him back into 3rd grade which was what you wanted.
As with anything, be careful how you approach things, people are human, even professionals, and no one likes their apple cart over turned.
I never had a problem trusting the substitue teacher, those were always fun times for the class. I dont see where having a sub for a few months would or could destroy your childs future, especially when we are talking about 3rd grade.
Since you got him back where you want him I think you should just drop it. You can make things worse for your son if the school district decides you are an annoyance.... is it professional for them to do that? NO, but could it happen because we are human and people dont like in your face interruptions on a regular basis? Definitely.
I'm sorry and I dont want to make you mad, but you just seem so digruntled that I can imagine your meeting with all the school officials have been not so pleasant.... and I'm sure you've created a name for yourself.
It's good to stay on top of your kids education, my hat is off to you for that. But just remember to always pick your battles wisely, and when the battle is finished let it go.

Wow - sounds like there are a lot of moving parts here. In most situations like this there is more than one side of the story. I think reality is probably somewhere in between your interpretation and the school's.

I think that you may be stressing your child out too much and perhaps his reactions to the stress caused his classwork to suffer last Spring - which could be why they held him back last Spring. I cannot imagine a school, no matter what their impression of the parent, would hold back a child without some good reason.

I'm not a huge fan of public schools - although I don't have the resources to send my kids to private schools. And while I've experienced good and bad teachers and good and bad administrators I can not see that there would be a few who would agree together to keep a child back because the don't like the parent. If that were the case there would be a lot of kids held back. If a child is held back there have to be a few teahers/adminstrators who agree to the findings. I tend to think that athoug he's a bright child, he responded to the stress of the situation - which is perfectly normal.

I guess I don't understand why you were so insistent that a "substitute" teacher would not be able to prepare your child for 3rd grade - so I tend to think you over-reacted. Teachers get pregnant and have babies - but schools arrange the subs months in advance and the pregnant teacher and new sub work together before the baby comes, after school on lesson plans, students' needs, etc. If you created a huge firestorm over this issue I could see that the school would think of you as a difficult person - but they would not take it out on your kid to the extent that they'd hold him back.

Now - what to do with the current situation - clearly your son did learn enough for 3rd grade as he's now testing close to the appropriate level. Smart children like your son, can percieve underlying issues and then they react to them subconsciously. I would be that he didn't do well in the clasroom at the end of last year in reaction to all of the drama. I also have a feeling that much of his discomfort with his current situation is also a reaction to how you've responded to all of this. I'm not sure what purpose was served by pulling him out of sports or not allowing him to do what he normally does over the Summer. He may feel like he's been punished for something out of his control so he feels ashamed.

My son has alwasy needed special ed for certain things - other things he's very smart about. I have never given h im any impression except that he needs help with readying and it's a good thing that we live in a country where he can get the help - since there are places in the world where he'd have never had the help that has brought him so very far.

Let this year pass - if he's doing 2nd grade over and he's really ready for 3rd grade that will be noticed soon enough. I've known other kids who've been held back and they ended up doing wonderfully. He can be the kid who helps others with their reading or math, he can really excel. My daughter who tests very high was an immature child and was nearly held back at this age not becuase of her lack of intelligence but because she was immature and would cry easily. I wasn't sure what to do or how to respond - so I prayed about it. God cares about the tiny details of your life and if you're too busy taking matters in to your own hands he will let you - and you can never do as well as God can. But if you step aside and ask for His best for your child God will provide it.

Schools do want parental involvement but they want someone to come along side and offer assistance. No one responds well when put on the defensive.

Good luck Mamma - let your boy relax and be who God intends him to be. He may have a fabulous year and be pushed back to his regular grade - I've seen it happen.

I'm confused with the A and C. Why did you take him out of the 2nd school where he was doing well? I'm sorry, your questioned rambled so much I don't understand what is going on. Why don't you call the DOE?

Most school districts use certified long term subs to handle long term assignments such as maternity leave. I am sorry that you had such a bad experience, but it sounds like most of your problems are resolved. Your son is back in third grade. You are your child's best advocate, but you need to pick your battles wisely. You seem to be blaming all kinds of unrelated things on this experience. Your decision to take your son out of sports and cancel his travel plans for the summer does not seem related to the issue unless you did it as a form of punishment. You said that your son was one of 19 students that failed --was that in a single class, a grade level or a campus?? There are resources on line and old FCAT tests that you review to help your child if they need extra help.

I think the best thing you can do right now is let some time pass, let him establish himself in his new school in 3rd grade. Continuing the fight after you have what you want may only make the matter worse. If you are still having problems in a month then I would go to the top and find out who you need to speak to to get this figured out.

for starter's, EVERY piece of correspondence you e-mail, needs to be carbon copied, and then saved or printed or both to PROVE you've spoken to them about the situation. you could probably go above the head of the board, not sure who that would be, but there's usually always another head to the totem pole. If they put him back in the proper grade, i wouldn't push it too much, just from now on keep copies of everything and get the communication in writing of some kind so you have date stamp and name to the communication

good luck

1 of 19 in just his class?

Wait, so you found a NEW (better) school? Your son is now (correctly) in the third grade instead of second in this new better school?

Schools do NOT want children to 'suffer humiliation'. Schools, teachers, administration, subs, staff want EXACTLY the SAME thing you do, success for your child.

Your post was dificult to follow, but it seems you've taken care of the problem, he's where you want him to be, right?

Our educational system has some pretty serious flaws, I will agree.

Is your question, you're already worried your 'involvement' is going to 'hinder' his success again?

You are your child's greatest advocate, you must continue to strive for what you think is right for your child. But when you see the pattern repeating itself, it may be time to take a new approach. Do NOT be a victim.

And kudos to you for following through and getting what you think your child needs.

I don't understand your post or your question, are you looking to 'sue' the district? I think that's silly if that's what you are considering.

I don't understand why you would take him out of sports or not go away for the summer. I think you made a big mistake doing that & that's a big reason why your son was depressed.

Our public school system sucks. I think it's 50/50 good & bad teachers, and that's a big ratio, but MY personal opinion. My neighbors are teachers & the wife subs & agrees that subs are just babysitters who do their own personal stuff rather than focus on teaching & let me add she says this about long term subs as well as short term.

I also agree with you that WE parents are our kids 1st teachers BUT we don't know what's being taught & without communication from the teachers how the heck are we suppose to support the teachers & teach our kids what they are learning in the classroom. I am having the same problem with my sons 1st grade teacher. I get 'stuff' home that I have no idea what I am suppose to do with it & neither does my son. I send notes & emails & get no where. I am here to support the teacher but most importantly give my kids the best education I possibly can. We live in a very good school district & teachers salaries are above average. I also told her I would be available to help in the classroom anytime & still nothing. I have no intentions of taking my requests to another level, as my son is doing good, but it still frustrates me to no end.

I say things got fixed, thanks to you, so let it go for your sake but most of all for your son.