How Soon to Get Pregnant After New Job

Updated on June 09, 2010
L.S. asks from Omaha, NE
18 answers

After I lost my job last year, our baby plans were put on hold. I finally was able to get a job toward the end of February this year. My daughter will be 3 in August, and I would love to expand our family sooner rather than later. I don't mind my children being a few years apart, but as of now, they'll be about 3 1/2 if not 4 years apart. I'm okay with that, but this means trying to get pregnant after only being at my job at 6 months (my husband and I have talked about going off my pill in July). I realize that these things take time, but based on how quickly I got pregnant with my first (only one month), I'm thinking the soonest would be August or September. This could not happen, and I understand this, but I have to plan for everything. What do other moms think about being at a job only 6 months before getting pregnant or trying to conceive? Is this irresponsible from a career standpoint? I feel like my family comes first, and that by the time I'd have the baby I would be there for a year, so perhaps I should go on with my plans. But then I'm worried that it would be awkward at work, and I do have to work for financial reasons. At this point I'm leaning toward just trying in July and seeing what happens, and that because I work at a good company, it won't be a big deal. But being a fairly new employee, it still makes me nervous. Any advice would be wonderful. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone who commented on this issue. I can say that it sounds like the majority of you think that family comes first, and I agree. I agree that it's important to be respectful of your job as well, and that waiting is a good thing, but following your family's needs is good too. However, one mom made a good point that jobs come and go and are not forever, but your family is. I've decided to find a happy medium, and I may not wait quite a year to go off my pill, but I may wait one or two extra months than I originally thought - just to get a little closer to that one year mark and well passed the 6 months (also giving me a little more time to prove myself in my position). I'd like to not wait too long considering I turn 30 in August, and I'm not that new at my job really anymore. By the time a baby arrived, I wouldn't be new at all... so growing family, here we come! THANK YOU to all who provided me advice!!

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M.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

Family comes first! You will have been there a year, I think that's o.k. I too was nervous when I switched jobs and got pregnant right away, I wasn't even there a year, but it worked out just fine! Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Rochester on

Go for it!!! Since being at my job for 6 years, we've had 2 girls come on board already pregnant (ha! They didn't share until they started). Everyone loved it. We got to know both girls even sooner. It was exciting. Maybe keep it to yourself about wanting to try. Opps happen!!

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.E.

answers from La Crosse on

I agree with the few brave souls who admit that whether or not it is legal...you may be discriminated against for doing this...especially knowingly chosing this path. It is, in my opinion, unfair for your employer to hire you and expect you to fulfill certain responsibilities and duties, spend the time and money to train you, just to have you leave for weeks/months, and expect that there will not be repercussions. Whether or not your intentions are legal (which they are) is not the question...it is rather one of responsilbility, and in this climate where many of us are just happy to be working. I would hope that you would maybe take into account that you have the good fortune of finding a job ater a long search, and maybe hold off. Whether or not you realize it, your actions at work will affect many people, and getting pregnant right after being hired may cause resentment by your employer, your co-workers, and the people you deal with because they will have to work around your choice. If you have no regard for this, then power to you...go for it.

1 mom found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

It totally depends on your employer. Where I work we don't discriminate based on maternity. We have in the past even hired women in their 7th and 8th months of pregnancy and offered maternity leave.
But I work for a large employer and there are a lot of options to find people to fill in.
I have a friend that worked for a small business and was laid off as soon as she announced that she was pregnant. Yes, it's illegal - but seriously what are you going to do...
Personally I think that jobs come and go and you can't let them dictate what happens in your family. If it puts a dent in your career at this particular place, just look for a new opportunity once baby is a bit older and you can invest more time and attention in your career.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from New York on

I think I am going to be the unpopular vote here. We work so we can support our families. What if your "nice" employer doesn't turn out to be so nice when they find out? My friend hired a woman who knew she was preggers and then said two months later she was preggers and didn't know it. My friend found out becasue the pregnant woman told another co-worker. My GF didn't fire her but was very unhappy about the deception and this woman was never seen in a good light going forward. I tell you this only because you refered to your job with a possible career path. I also think that the way jobs are these days I'd appreciate being employed a little more. I say wait till your year anniversary then get pregnant. The employer knows your start date , so even though other posters say you will be pregnant when you hit your year you employer might possibly think she only started 6 months ago. What's an additional six months?

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was in your EXACT position about a year ago. I had started a new job about 6 months earlier. (I started as a temp in January, and they hired me permanently beginning in May). We wanted to get pregnant again soon, but I also felt concern about how it would look to my employer to get pregnant so soon after taking the new job. But we went ahead and did it anyway. At this point, it sounds like by the time you gave birth, you would have been with the employer for the requisite 12 months of employment that will qualify you to be eligible for FMLA leave. In that case, as you know, your employer absolutely can't fire you, even IF they feel irritated by your situation. I know that's only SOME comfort, as you also want to continue making a good impression and showing signs that you are committed to the job and the company, etc. etc.

But you say you work for "a good company", and if that is your feeling about your employer, then I would think you are especially "safe" in going for it! I ended up getting pregnant end of last September (am now due in 3 weeks!), and was very nervous about breaking the news to my boss at the 13 weeks point. But he took it really well, was really happy for me and news spread quickly through our department. I was so relieved. They have been really accommodating throughout my pregnancy and really enthusiastic for me. I'm sure it helps that I have also made sure to exhibit signs that I am committed to my role here, that I'm very competent at what I do, and that my pregnancy and new child won't upset my situation so much to the point where I might just fly the coop or something... I think it will help your case, too, that you already have one child. Your employer will know that you are already accustomed to what it's like to juggle work and family life, and will be less likely to worry that you will decide not to return to work or something after your maternity leave.

Bottom line: it's not irresponsible. Show yourself to be a valuable employee and demonstrate that you can competently, successfully, cheerfully navigate your way through work AND pregnancy and it can only help your career. Especially if you really do work for a good company. Go for it. Totally go for it.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

My opinion is that work is something we do do support our *real* lives -- our families and "fun" stuff. If you have been at your new job for a year before you have the baby, that should qualify you for FMLA (check to make sure you meet the requirements... my work does it by hours worked in a calendar year and sick/vacation time does NOT count toward the total). Even if you get pregnant right away, you don't really have to tell anyone til you are at least 3 months along, and by that point you will have been in the job for about nine months. That is plenty long enough to prove your worth at work, make friends, and my guess is if you are a good employee they will be happy for you and supportive. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Remember you don't have to tell them right away. You wait a few months after you become pregnant and that puts you closer to the 1 year mark. When you tell them you're pregnant reiterate your commitment to the company and your plan to return to work as long as that's true. Hearing your commitment will give them extra reassurance they made the right hiring decision.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

As long as you feel established in your new job, and are seen as indispensable, I would try for a baby.

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

i think it depends on your job... if you work somewhere that a replacement would have to be trained i would wait... but if you are i an entry level job i would go to town! if you are going to be there for a full year before giving birth, legally you are protected by fmla (flma? lol brain fart) i was 4 mos prego when i started my job...(boss did know)

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T.T.

answers from Houston on

In my opinion, I think you should go for it. I understand the job situation, but legally, they can not hold it against you. But I am sure if you like your career and your employer, I believe they would be happy for you. You are right, family does come first. I guess what I am trying to say is, dont wait becuase of only being there 6 months. If it is because you are a new employee now, in a few more months, what if something else pops up which makes you think it is the wrong time? It is never a great time to have a baby, but ALWAYS a blessing to have one. Ya know? I say, stop any birth control methods and let God lead your way. Hope my rambling makes sense!

M.S.

answers from Omaha on

That would work out fine if you get pregnant after 6 months. You'll be over your one year by the time baby arrives, so you'd could collect your sick time pay and take the full 12 weeks off. Besides, there isn't a darn thing they can say or do about it ; )

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C.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I was fired a month after I found out I was preganant. I think they thought I knew I was preganant which couldn't have been FURTHER from the truth.

I found out I was 5.5 months pregnant and had only been in my position for about two months. They said it was poor performance yet I was still in training. I know my FEMALE manager didn't like all the doctor's appointments I had to go to. Not only did I have to deal with finding out I was pregnant but then I was also unemployeed at 7 months.

It all worked out since me unemployment was extended four times and that was longer than the seven months I was with the company. If I knew I was preganant I wouldn't have changed jobs so fast in the company not knowing her attitude towards missing ANY work.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

You don't say what field your job is in, and certainly some places are more accepting of the fact of family and gestation. That said, I have several friends who have gotten pregnant much sooner in their jobs. One of my friends accepted a job as a professor and got pregnant within a month of her first full time job (after all that school, she was almost 30). Another friend actually took a long-call sub position for a pregnant teacher...because she herself was due over Christmas and wasn't planning to take ANY maternity leave (the school was supportive; administration was not so happy with her...but they kept her on) because the family needed the job. I think I have a couple other friends who have started professional, career jobs and shortly gotten pregnant, but they're not coming immediately to mind. I would think that if you were able to handle your pregnancy relatively well and continue to work through most of it, over a year on the job shouldn't jeopardize your position at all. Legally, it shouldn't, but I know sometimes the attitude of a company is different from its legal responsibility, unfortunately.

K.C.

answers from Dallas on

well, depending on your company...if you get pregnant in august or so, you could get fmla and not have to worry about losing your job. just make sure to work as many hours as you can to bank on that. i think it's a good idea :) good luck!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

First, I would check your benefit package and see what the rules are for maternity leave. Also, I would check to see if there are any probationary periods.

I personally would wait until you have a year on the job, before getting pregnant. I've read a few of the replies and as others have stated, your new employer and co-workers may not take well to the idea of you being out for a period of time after just starting. Just my opinion.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

I wouldn't worry to much about it. The baby will be born after you being there for over a year. I would go on with your plans and have a baby.

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G.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.-

Your family comes first. While jobs are important for a variety of reasons, most jobs don't last a lifetime....but your family does. You need to make decisions about growing your family when it's right for you personally. I know you said that you need to work for financial reasons but I still don't think that you should plan your family around the job. I've worked at two "good" companies where I spontaneously lost my job (along with half of the staff). Had I made my family planning decisions around my career, I would have been very upset.

I guess I have been lucky with my pregnancies and jobs. With my first, I got pregnant about a year after I had started. I waited until I was 21 weeks before I told my boss. He was disappointed that he would lose me for maternity leave, but was happy for me and my husband. I ended up not returning after my leave. After being at home with my daughter for 15 months, I had an opportunity to go back to work part time. I took the job and found out I was pregnant 2 days later. I hadn't even started working yet. I told my boss about 3 weeks after I started. Again, they were disappointed that they would eventually lose me, but happy and supportive. I also did not return to this job after leave. This time it was a mutual decision as the company was downsizing.

My point is that you never know what might happen with your job or in your efforts to have another child. To me, it seems like the choice to grow your family should be put ahead of a job.

I hope this helps your decision! Good luck!

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