How to Approach Child Waking up in the Morning and from Naps

I haven't had this either, but I would tend to leave him until he really wants me, or if he then wanders in his crib frustrated maybe you could just quickly take him out of it and put him on the floor?

I haven't had this situation, but reading what you wrote I would say that it doesn't matter how you approach, the bottom line is you are coming to get him before he is ready. Sounds like he really enjoys that quiet waking time to chatter to himself, and once you come in it's over. Try waiting until he calls you, or sends some other signal that he is done being alone.

My daughter started doing the same thing recently. I was so used to her needing me right away when she wakes up but now she wants some alone time. She hangs out in her crib for 45 minutes sometimes. She talks to herself and plays with her binkies. When she is ready to get up she clearly lets me know by yelling mama. It actually ends up being nice time for me. It gives me a few extra minutes in the morning to get myself together and that is much nicer than dealing with the tantrum/ bad mood she will have if I get her out of bed too quickly.

Relax.....just relax, its that simple. My 2 year old likes to have her time to just hang for a bit when she wakes up. She calls me when she is ready to get out of her crib. Let the little man just hang out. As long as he is happy and just babbling he's fine. I have 4 kids and they all did this to some extent. Ava, my 2 year old sings and talks to her baby. I just keep doing what Im doing around the house and enjoy listening to her on the monitor.

And whoever was saying to check with the Doctor, ignore that one. My daughter has almost the EXACT schedule as your little guy. She is happy and healthy. He SHOULD sleep from anywhere around 9-10 hours at night, and 2-3 hours for a nap. 100% NORMAL! Just didnt want you stressing on that because you seem to be very worried already. I am 110% percent SURE he is a VERY normal little dude. Let him be until he is ready to get up. Find something to do so your mind is off getting him out of his crib. When I had anxiety issues I would kind of feel lonley when Ava was sleeping, so the minute she woke up I wanted to go get her. I had to really work on that. Try calling someone to just chit chat once he wakes up so your mind is occupied. When he calls you get off the phone and go get him. Ava LOVES it when I knock on her door, she just cracks up and says "come in mommy". Then I fling open the door and pick her up and give her BIG hugs and kisses!! I wont even say good luck because you dont need it. You sound like an awesome mommy. You will be fine, and the responces you got are awesome....listen to us. :)

Hi M.,

My advice for you is to wait until he actually calls for you before you go in. Even though he is talking in there, he is still resting, so unless it goes on for hours and hours, you might get a better greeting if you wait until he is asking to see you.

I certainly can relate. My son is a very slow waker, even now at 2 1/2. As they learn to communicate better, it gets easier. Now, if I go in to get him he'll just say "don't talk to me, I'm still sleepy." or "I still need privacy." it sounds like that is what you little one is trying to say to you as well... he just doesn't have the words or temperment to get it out.

Good luck with this,
T.

Hi M.,

My 18 month old boy started doing the exact same thing a couple of months ago and luckily it, like so many other things, seems to have passed. Occasionally I still go in and he doesn't seem keen to get up yet, so I will just potter around his room chatting to him until he seems ready.

Like some of the others have suggested, I now wait until I hear him saying 'Mama, Mama' and then I go in very smiley and say 'Good morning, did I hear you say Mama?'. I figure that way he knows that he is in control of when I come in and will let me know when he's ready. I then suggest we go downstairs and do something I know he'll like - even if it's just say good morning to Daddy - and I wait for him to ask me to pick him up. Usually it's immediately, but if it's not then I just do bits and bobs upstairs until he's ready.

I hope that helps. If nothing else, at least you know he's not the only one and I'm sure it will pass. They're emotional little creatures right now, aren't they, so I find it best not to overanalyze or I think I'd just make myself crazy.

Good luck. D.

Sometimes my daughter is not ready to get out of bed when she wakes from a nap or in the morning either. I start making noise in the kitchen and let her hear me, then I open her door but I don't go in yet. Her room is right by the kitchen so I go back in the kitchen and straighten up or whatever in there. If she talks I talk back and sometimes I sing to her. Make up a silly song about waking up and then when she is ready she calls for me (she is in a converted toddler bed already but I did this even when she was in the regular crib). Anyway hope this helps.

Hi M.,
I agree with the last mom. It sounds like you are going in before he is ready to get up. My daughter is the same way if I don't let her wake up first. My 3 yr old daughter will sit in bed and talk, sing and play for a while before she is ready to get up. I also have a video monitor and can see what she is doing so I know when she is wide awake. She tends to do head stands in her crib. You may want to try putting him to bed a little earlier (30 mins) to see if he wakes a little more rested. I L. the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for info on age appropriate sleep rhythms and needs. I have used (and still do) this book as a sleep guide with terrific results.
Sincerely,
L.

My oldest has a hard time waking up, and always has. (She's 6 now.) When she was still in her crib, I'd put her down for a nap and tell her, "When you wake up and want me to come get you, just call for me." She'd wake up babbling, and sometimes would even fall back asleep for a while before being truly ready to get out of bed. When she was ready, she'd stand in her crib and yell, "MAMA!" I can kind of relate - I've never been Little Miss Sunshine first thing upon waking up, and as much as I try, I don't think I'll ever be a morning person. Some kids just need time to get ramped up for their day. Since you stay home with him, it doesn't sound like he really HAS to get up at a certain time in the morning or from his nap, so why not just go with the flow and let him decide when he's done waking up?

Hi M.,

Your son sounds adorable. How sweet that he wakes up happily singing and babbling to himself. Although you are obviously sensitive and caring, it simply sounds like you are coming in too soon. He's content until you come to take him out of the little oasis he's creating for himself. What a skill he is developing in being able to be happily alone. You must be raising a confident child.

K.

Does this happen when his Daddy goes in to get him, or just you? If it's just you, maybe you are doing something to create the trouble. Some new Moms "smother" their little darlings with so much love they don't get enough independant time, and have to struggle to get away....think about a time when someone was hugging you and wouldn't let go when you wanted them to, it kind of makes me not want to be hugged by that person again because I think I will have to struggle to get away. I know this is a different take on the situation but it is something to ask yourself. If he is happy in his crib let play alone until he calls for you. My oldest child would wake up and recite every word he knew and he wanted to do it alone so he could practice, then he would call me when he was done, if I went in to soon he would get upset and tell me not yet!
As he grew up (now 21)this pattern followed him through school. He wanted to practice everything privately before he brought it to me for help or approval. Each child walks to a different drummer, we just need to find the right song.
Hope this helps

Hi M.,

First, I just wanted to say that you use the words "he doesnt allow me" too much! Your child is 1 years old. Mommy gets to make the rules from now until age 18 (or for me until age college is over)
If he acts as though he doesnt want you to pick him up leave the room and give him more time alone...at some point he will want you to come get him and he will make it known You are taking such a simple thing and making it big, unless you must leave or there is some other reason to get him out of his crib, just let him be. I have 6 children and this would be what I call a battle not to be fought. Babies are all different in the ways they like to wake and greet the world. Try letting him alone until he calls for you (crying, louder babble,ect.

Blessings,
C.

Hi M.-
My 15 month old son is also a 'slow waker.' There are sometimes where I hear him babbling, etc. in his crib for 45 minutes before I actually go in there! When I go in his room each morning, I give him A LOT of time to wake up and then I go in with my cup of coffee. I leave him in his crib while I put laundry away in his room, etc. I'll also put a few small toys in his crib and let him play a bit. I chat with him the whole time while he's in his crib and I'm straighting up his room or whatever. When he's ready, he'll point to his bedroom door that he's now ready to get up. Yes, we are the moms and we are the ones that 'makes the rules,' but I also feel that we need to pick our battles. I think the 'slow waker' is a battle better left alone. Give your son time to wake up and enjoy that extra time listening to him babble away.

Dear M.,
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think maybe you are worrying too much about this.
I have never in my life been the type of person who can wake up and hit the floor running. My daughter is that way, but my son isn't either.
It's a jewel of a child who can just lay and play and babble happily all by themselves. Some babies wake up and cry the minute they figure out they are alone in their rooms. Others, I truly think, just enjoy chilling and relaxing and checking out their surroundings and their own bodies....their feet, their hands, their voices.
He's almost a year and a half old. He is obviously happy in his crib and in his room. A child who is fine and happy entertaining himself is a blessing. All children need to be able to happily play and entertain themselves. Unless you have to get him up for an appointment or something...let him chill.
He'll let you know when he wants out of his crib.
When my little boy was that age, we would lock the office door and give him the set of master keys. It was a set of keys to absolutely everything, so there were lots of them. I can't tell you how many hours that kid racked up standing in the hallway trying every single key to try to get that door open. It was just about his favorite thing to do. We could cook dinner, do homework with sister, do laundry....we knew exactly where he would stay until he found the right key. And oh, the joy when he found it! We would make a big fuss and thank him for getting the door open. And puzzles. He would sit and do his baby puzzles over and over all by himself. We had plenty of family play time, but my daughter liked being alone in her room too. I think it's a sign they can be independent people when they get older and that is really what we are supposed to raise them to be.

He sounds like a darling, happy little guy. Just go with it.
Best wishes!

My 2 1/2 year old is a "slow waker" especially when getting up from the nap - I am not a morning person, and have a really hard time waking up in the morning myself, so I completely understand my daughters need to have alone time upon waking. Sounds like your son is the same way!
I usually put a few of her favorite books in bed with her at naptime, and when she wakes, she will stay in her crib and look through her books, sing, and chat with herself until she is ready for me to get her up. I use a baby monitor (like you) and do not go in to get her up until she calls for me. Put a few soft/favorite books in bed with your son, and just wait for him to call for "mommy" when HE is ready to rise.

Hey M.
Have you considered just not going into him? It sounds like he's enjoying his crib time and likes his space when first awake. Maybe just leave him and allow him to play in there until he calls for you. If he fusses or calls for you then you know he's ready and wanting you.
Good luck!

M.,
I would ask your pediatrician. At his age he should want to get up and run around. After as much rest as he gets (which is more than what I think most babies his age get) he should be well rested and wake up happy and ready to play. He is only awake for 3 hours before going back to sleep again at 7pm? Is he ill? Has he been vaccinated recently? I would talk to your pediatrician about it. Good Luck!

I wouldn't go in his room until he is crying out for you. When my daughter is tired she sometimes will talk in her crib for awhile, but she is still laying down and happy. He may just want some down time in his crib.

I wait for my 17 month old to call me. When she wants out of her crib she will start yelling, "MaMa! MaMa! MaMa!". Maybe ask the pediatrician if he is getting too much sleep? You mentioned 15 hrs of sleep. Everyones need is different. Maybe he is having a growth spert.

I understand your frustration. It sounds to me like your child is feeling your frustration. Children really do want structure and routine in their lives and (believe it or not) direction from their parents. He doesn't know what he wants, because you don't know what you want. When you try one thing, he tries another. He doesn't know whats expected of him or what you're going to do.
My recommendation, though it will be trying on your nerves, is to decide what morning routine works best for you, and stick to it every day! When you know he's ready to get up (see some earlier responses, they are good ones) then just go in, answer his call; go to the changing table (or where you've decided); you can also try to distract him with a toy or similar item. Once he gets used to the routine, I'm sure the frustration for both of you will be gone.
I'm a greatgrandmother, with three children. I was present and active in all four grandchildren from birth and now with my greatgrandbaby. Routine and schedules really do work. The children know what to expect and what's expected of them.

I have to say that I really don't respond to many posts, but I really felt pulled to respond to yours. I couldn't believe when someone asked if your child was "ill" because your baby is sleeping so much and not immediately wanting to get out of bed. Both of my kids went through this around this age. They were both going through growth spurts. Plus this is right around the time that they are testing their independence, and if that means that he wants to be on his own for a little bit in his crib, than give him that space. He'll let you know loud and clear when he wants out. And pretty soon those naps are going to be completely obsolete and you'll wish you could get him to lay down for just one hour... LOL. So don't worry!! Just go with what he seems to want and need right now.

Our nearly two year old grandson does the same thing sometimes. I also talk to him through the door and quietly go in. If he is not ready to get out of his crib, I sit in the rocking chair and rock by myself until he tells me he's ready. Sometimes he just likes to be in his bed! I kind of like being able to sit for a while also!

He could just be one of those kids - like mine that doesn't deal well with transitioning from one activity to another.
My kid could wake up in Disney Land and cry if he didn't get enough advanced warning!
My son will be 4 soon and still prefers to hang out in his bed for a while before he is ready to get up - & still wants me to go in his room instead of just getting out of bed alone.

My 2 year old can be like this too. I wait until she calls for me, then I go in quietly and not talk, basically hold her an rock a little, give her some milk..
I think you should wait a little longer.. sounds like he wants more time by himself?

Hi there,

If your child just want to hang out in his crib let him. Enjoy your time alone. I have a 5 yrs old and 3.5 yrs old and I never run in their room the minute I hear them awake not unless they are in danger. I have a monitor, it is turn up high so I can here them all around the house. Now, when they are awake they come out when they are ready. Relax, enjoy being a mom... It is awesome to be a mom.

M. C.