How to Begin Potty Training??

Updated on April 23, 2014
L.K. asks from Round Rock, TX
15 answers

First time Mom and I haven't the slightest CLUE how to start potty training. Our daughter will be 20 mos next week and she is showing some signs that I've read about - she hides when she's pooping, and she sits on her potty that's next to ours when we go, and it seems she's going longer between wet diapers. I've read not to rush/push to much, so i've really just been observing her. She wanted to sit on the big toilet one time after I got done so I took her diaper off and held her there. She didn't do anything but she seemed to be "proud" she was being like Mama. Anyway, any advice how to start? She isn't telling me when she has a wet diaper or that she is going. In fact, she runs from me when I try to change her diaper sometimes especially if it's a poop. Thanks so much for any "starting" advice!!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

My mom told me that she put silky panties on me when I was learning because they arent absorbant at all and I didnt like the feeling. Good luck hope everything goes smoothly.

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D.

answers from Houston on

Well, I can offer you my experience. I have a 19 yr old, 3 1/2 yr old daughter and a 23 month old boy. My 19 yr old potty trained herself basically. The easiest ever. My 3 1/2 yr old was hard. We started well before two and it took forever. What I learned from her was not to fret and get frustrated about it. They do it when they are ready. But remember that they will do it eventually.

Here's how I start. I let them sit on the potty before I put them in their bath. Or if they act interested other times. If they go, fine if not, fine. No big deal just introducing. Then when they poop in their diaper I change them standing by the toilet and put it in there telling the baby, poo poo & tee tee go in the potty. Where does poo poo go? Bye bye poo poo!!! Waving wildly while you flush:)

When I'm ready to seriously start potty training I'll put the baby on the potty several key times of the day. First thing when she gets up, before nap, about 20 minutes after food, immediately after nap, before bed etc. You must talk about things constantly with them. They are listening. My daughter still thinks she gets stickers when she uses the toilet, (the 3.5 yr old not the 19 yr old). Bribery doesn't really work until they are ready anyway but it's nice to offer some kind of reward for a job well done.

Wearing big girl/big boy underwear is good too but not if you are getting angry about cleaning up some awful stuff. I found myself getting so frustrated that it wasn't worth it and we went back to pull ups. If you are really patient or you have a home you can hose down the inside with a high power washer then by all means try the naked/panties thing full time.

I learned that asking "Do you need to go potty?" just invites a no answer. Instead say "Time to go potty!"

I was pleasantly surprised when I finally realized that my child was sneaking into the bathroom to potty without asking or telling me anything. She's been accident free for almost two months now and it's already time to start working with my son. Whew!

Try very hard to make it a nice experience for your baby. You don't want to associate anything negative with going to the toilet expecially punishments or angry responses from you. If nothing else, be very pan face about it and tell the baby you tee tee'd in your panties now we need to change clothes.

Good luck and keep your sense of humor. You're going to need it.

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

BRIBERY!!! or POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT if you want to be politically correct! Our son showed interest at around 18 months, and actually went on the potty a few times. But he lost interest and got back into it a little after he turned 2. We put the little potty near the adult potty and anytime he would sit on it, clothed or not, he would get a little treat. He preferred mini marshmallows or gummy fruits - just a few. If he sat with no diaper on potty for a bit and talked about going potty he would get a little baggy of a few marshamallows and gummy treats. If he actually went on the potty, he could pick whatever he wanted as a special treat! (which was still usually marshmallows and sometimes a few M&Ms!) We made a FREAKISHLY big deal when he did go on the potty!! After he went on the potty a few times, he got a big boy treat and would get to pick out his own undies. If he had an accident, we made no big deal about it, just reminded him to go the potty for that special treat. He was potty trained very quickly and has had very few accidents. He now goes on the adult potty and has stopped wearing his night diaper. We tried not to pressure him, but we handed out those treats like crazy! Good luck, I hope it works out well and quickly for you!!

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H.G.

answers from Austin on

Prepare for some fun!!!
What I found worked best for my daughter was a combination of things. We switched to pull ups so she could feel like she was wearing big girl panties, then we put panties on top of the pull ups. Next I bought a few DVDs and books about using the potty - Once Upon a Potty is good.

Then I would set a timer for every 1/3 hour and let her sit on the potty to see if sdhe had to go. We had both a potty seat for her as well as just a cover over our toilet - she used both at different times. After a few weeks I took off the pull ups and let her just go around in big girl panties - I changed the timer to every 15 minutes. It took a few months and many accidents but we got it and she is fully potty trained. We didn't push the issue and just let her do it in her own time!

Rewards were also a big help for us - like if you don't have an accident you can have some stickers or a new pair of big girl panties!

Good luck

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi L.,
I am the Mom of 6 children and have learned that the longer you wait to potty train, the easier it is! For girls, between 2-2 1/2 and for boys, between 2 1/2-3 yrs. worked for me. Just keep encouraging her! We would clap and hug our little one for any sign (like her wanting to be like Mama).
Mention to her from time to time about going poop in the potty is what Mama does (and I know this sounds gross but even showing her when she is around!). When my little ones would back into a corner, I would ask, "Do you need to go potty?" If the answer was yes (or an "I don't know") I would hold his/her hand and we would literally run to the potty with excitement and go potty quickly! If I sense hesitation, I let it go. It has to be a very positive and fun and loving experience, so relax and let her let you know, from your questions and encouragement. You will do great! (By the way, I usually p.t.'d in the summertime so my kids could just run around the house with a big, loose T-shirt on and no bottoms and then they would go to the bathroom faster b/c they didn't want to mess on themself!!!) Peace, Janie

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K.A.

answers from Austin on

Hi, L.
I have two girls one is nine and one is 18 months. I have also been a preschool teacher for 5 years. In my two year old class when a child would begin showing interest in the potty, I would start having them sit down every diaper change. I would never get angry at a child for having accidents, but give lots and lots of praise when they "made the water yellow" we had lots of yellow stickers that they could get if they went pee pee and if they pooed they got a gummy bear.
With my own daughter(the nine year old, I haven't started with the 18 month old) I chose a long weekend where we had nothing to do. I got every one out of the house and we had potty time. The first day she spent naked. This makes them very aware of whats happening when they have to go. We took our potty chair with us every where, the kitchen, the living room and her bedroom. She had a little baby doll that could sit on the potty and squirt out water, so we played with that and gave the doll stickers when she went. Day two we started underwear. It was very loosely fitted with the extra padding. That first day in underwear was not easy, but you have to try not to be frustrated. Going potty should be exciting and new but not scary. By day 4 my daughter was peeing in the potty regularly. The poo took a little longer, but she got it in the end. What ever you do, when you decide to put your child in underwear, don't look back. Constantly switching from pull-ups to diapers to undies is confusing and it sends mixed signals to a child.
Good luck!
K.

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

Hi L.,,
sounds to me like she is ready ,you just need to start asking her about every hour if she needs to go ,,,keep some books in the bathroom to read to her ,,then just give her lots of praise and love when when she goes and a lil treat grapes fruit something special she likes she be potty trained befor you know it
good luck L.

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

I am potty training a little boy and he doing well at 19 months! When you or your husband are watching TV put him on
the potty,after and before meals, if your husband is in the
restroom put him the potty etc. Put a book basket in the bathroom for him to read. Every time he uses the potty show
how proud you are!! Clap!! Make a big DEAL!!Then he will
know he is doing the right thing! GOOD LUCK!!

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T.W.

answers from Houston on

if your child is ready to potty train, I would say first take the diaper off during the day, and only use it at night. let her run around in Big Girl Panties, and have her sit on her potty every hour, and at the same time as you do. try running the water, and be patient, you may have to sit there for a little while. accidents will happen. in the morning when she wakes up, the first thing is take her to the potty, and right before bed, with no more liquids. after a few weeks if you notice that she is waking with a dry diaper or maybe one unitation, try the panties at night, but you may want to make a 'Wake Up Potty Call', just to keep it going. Be consistant, and follow through. the pooping is the hardest part. when kids realise that mom and dad poop in the potty it will not be so scarey to them.
it sounds to me that your child is ready, and just needs to be nudged in the direction. my daughter potty trained right at a year, and my son potty trained right before 2 1/2yrs.
Good Luck, make it fun. Call everyone when she does that first pee and poop, they get so proud of themselves, and a little reward is always good too. if your child goes to daycare make sure that they know that she is pooty training, and pack some extra clothes, panties for her. the diaper should only be worn when sleeping during potty training, when the child is awake, make it panties only.

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S.L.

answers from Austin on

L.,

I think you are off to a great start. Just getting kids to sit on the potty without even needing to go can sometimes be a big chore. I have a 14 yr old son and a 21 month old son. Several months ago I bought my toddler his first potty and he screamed sitting on it, so I backed off. Then one day he came in while I was using the toilet and I asked him, "Do you need to go potty?" He said "yep" so I took off his diaper and he sat down and pee'd. I made a huge deal over it and he was thrilled! This only happened once more before he regressed and he started fussing again. So, once again I backed off. It's only been recently that I have been able to get him to sit on it as a stool, but I figured baby steps. First, get him to not be afraid to sit on it. I ask him every morning if he needs to go potty or ask him if he will try. I don't push if he says no. Some kids won't be ready until they are 2 1/2 years, so it's normal. Just keep nudging her without the pressure and she'll come around. Another way (if and when you have the time) is to sit them on the potty every 30 minutes whether they need to go or not.

Good luck!
S.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

Get rid of your potty chair and replace it a new toilet set that goes on your regular toilet that has two sets, one for adults the other one comes down for children. My grand children love it, no clean up just flush away, my daughter liked it so much she ordered one also. I got mine on e-bay but there are web sites that sell them also.
Target sells them also they are called Potty Pal Elongated Set for $35.00.
Our grandchild also hid to poop, but she finally came around and is now using the toilet, we started watching her and when we saw her go to a corner we got her and took her to the bathroom. It worked.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

This is what I've done with all 3 of mine. I begin by noticing that they are dry when they wake from a nap or in the morning. Then, I start making a habit (like brushing teeth) that when we wake up we sit on the toilet. I don't make them sit long, but they will usually go and if not - they're learning a good habit. Don't get angry when they don't go or if their diaper is wet. I just make sure they develop this habit and get used to the idea. It makes it easier when you're ready to start a schedule. After a while: When I notice that they are ready to poop - I rush them to the toilet. If they've already gone a little, I stand them up - legs apart and drop the diaper off. Then carefully sit them on the toilet to finish. I do this even if they've already gone completely as well (when I'm really trying to potty train). You may not be ready to do that part yet. Then, begin to set a schedule (especially closer to 3 years old). 15-20 minutes after each drink - we sit on the toilet. Once every hour it's time to try, etc. Before we go in the car - we sit on the toilet, etc. With my 3rd son - I would set a timer and when it would go off it would remind me to take him potty. He began to go on his own when the timer would go off and didn't want to have to wait for me. It was amazing! They're (most) not truly ready to be independent of diapers/pull ups until age 3. Anyone who tells you otherwise has just trained themselves to know when to take them. So don't get frustrated. Just develop good habits and it will be easy when they truly are ready. I pushed my first 2 with much frustration doing all of the above but with anger and frustration when they would have "accidents". It didn't matter how much I pushed - when they were ready, it clicked. With my 3rd, I just did the above but with little expectation. He's turning 3 soon and is pretty much potty trained. I've had no frustration or anger and yet arrived at the same place at about the same time. If after age 3 you have a stubborn one, then you will have to use reward and punishment, not just reward, to get the point across. By that time - they know. And, I agree with an earlier comment - don't ask!!! Just instill the habit. "It's time to go..."

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

L. - I am working on potty training right now! My daughter was two in April. We started putting her on the potty before her bath probably around 19 or 20 months. Sometimes she tinkled, but mostly just sat there. (we have a seat that goes on our toilet)

She started telling me she needed to go in early June. I started a potty chart. I divided the chart tinkled in the potty and pooped in the potty. She got a sticker everytime she went. She likes picking out her sticker. We had a week that we were home almost the whole week. She did great that week only having one accident a day. Well we have gotten busier and it is reflecting. She tells us some and doesn't others. She likes her pull ups they have Cinderella and the other pricesses on them. I tell her not to tinkle on them, and that worked for a while. I have decided to try big girl panties and see how that works. So far a spot on the floor and the couch. I got some good tips from you responses, but I agree with some of them, just ask and ask and ask. My daughter gets so involved in what she is doing I think she forgets sometimes. I try to get her to go when she gets up and try to set the pace for the day.

While she is on the potty we look at books and flash cards with pictures. She loves those and it keeps her on a little longer.

She was really upset that she tinkled in her big girl panties and on the couch (me too), but I told her it was ok, but she needed to tell me, and didn't put her BGP's on again. I told her since she pottied in them we had to wash them and we would try them another day. She was upset by that, so I hope that is a good sign!

We are having trouble with her going in public. I got a travel seat, but she won't go when we aren't home.

Good Luck!

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