With a Spouse going to school.... it is very busy.
My Husband was going to school and working.
EVERY day and night, he was, justifiably, busy. NO free time.
Sure, breaks here and there for the brain. But it is busy, every day and night. When he was not working, he was studying. And carrying a full load of classes. Studying takes... lots of time, uninterrupted time and there needs to be quiet so they can concentrate. So, Hubs would study at home.... or, outside the home.
When he was going to school, he could NOT, just take off or go on trips or vacations. He also took Summer and Winter intercession classes. It was year round. My friend's Husband also was going to school and they have kids too. For each of us, it was like being a "Single Parent' while they went to school.
The going-to-school Spouse, is not available, for things. They don't have much time and have to keep up their school work and grade point average and there are many projects as well and deadlines.
My Husband studied day and night, 7 days a week.
So, for the years he went to school, I did not expect... him to have a normal family life or obligations. He did try to make time for the family... but it was nothing concrete. Nor regular. And I did not pressure him about it. His "job".... was going to school, and also working at a normal job.
You and your Husband, NEED to talk about this. And what the routines may be. Daily.
My Husband's Academic Advisor, the Advisor makes sure to tell the married Students that many non-traditional students, who are a spouse or have kids... have lots more pressure, in ADDITION to school, obligations. Hence, the stress levels... increases. And some Spouses of the students, could not handle it. Hence, conflicts within the family etc. and even divorce, because of it. So if you know that ahead of time, then you may know what to expect and work around it. And learn to tolerate their going-to-school, years.
But going to school, is important. And they need to do what they need to to, in order to graduate etc.
You... will need to be flexible.
Have your routines with your child.
Your Husband's schedule... WILL very per the classes he takes/his class schedule which cannot always be as you want it to be, and the load of studying etc. So, he cannot.... (at least my Husband could not), make a certain "schedule" with me or my kids. Because, how much one has to study and attend classes, will vary, and per assignments and prepping for it.
Studying, is the priority.
While one goes to school.
You stay connected by thinking outside the box, and having to be.... flexible.
My Husband would, make a few minutes here and there to play with the kids. BUT, he ALSO had to, deflate too, after work, and before hitting the books. It is a daily, thing. AND my kids clearly understood, that school and studying, was important... for my Husband, AND us. They saw him studying hard.... and thus, learned what school/college is. It was also a life lesson for them. We made it a positive thing for them.
So, talk to your Husband.
He will not be able to fully predict his school work demands, until he starts the program.
But, when possible, have some routines that are, doable for him.
Or, he may even have night classes. Thus, will having dinner together actually, be doable???? for example.
My husband had night classes, that were RIGHT after his job.
So, the "ideal" of us all having dinner together.... was NOT doable.
When he was going to school.
The spouse and family has to be very flexible.
And, there were many times... when my Husband could not even see the kids to bed. Why?
Well, when one is heavily concentrating and studying and in the midst of a project or online exam... they cannot just take off and get away from their desk. Otherwise, their flow and concentration, will be interrupted. For example. Hence, I did not demand or expect, my Husband to do the bedtime thing with my kids, all the time. It was, as it could be done, or not. Nothing rigid. For example.
**ETA: while my Hubs was in school, he also... was not able to, to attend all family functions/holidays. Because, of studying. And often, even if on a break.... there was still studying because- projects were due right AFTER the break. ie: Spring Break/Fall Break etc.
So, this is school life in conjunction with family.
I had 2 kids already, while my Husband was going to school and working.
So it was a lot of duties to do, and juggling. For FOUR years we did this. Constantly. And my Husband was not always, there. Even if he was at home, studying. He had to, study. Or be up late at night doing so, even after midnight.
When a Spouse is going to school, making family "routines"... is harder. It is not like, a regular family life.
Also because, classes and class load and "schedules" for the student-Spouse, will vary. They cannot just decide not to take available classes, not at dinner time. For example. They have to register and take classes, WHEN it is available. And not all classes may be available every semester. Some classes are only offered once a year or only during certain semesters. For example.
So the Wife/Spouse and kids, have to be very flexible.
If for example I 'demanded' time of my Husband, it would not fly very well. And it was stressful. He was busy. Justifiably. He had work and studying. I was busy. We were all busy. When/if my Husband could spare some time... it was either for him to just deflate or relax his brain from studying/taking time off for himself/or having a few minutes here and there, for us and catching up.
Time is at a premium.
And, if "we" wanted to do anything... it could not be spur of the moment. It is hard, for one to just switch gears and turn off their brain... when they are studying and then just go play or hang out. Even when hanging out... my Husband's brain was churning and thinking out his projects. Even if he was hanging out with us. Away from his desk. At home he had a ROOM in which to study. One in which he could close the door. From distractions.
If your Husband has night/evening classes or weekend classes (yes, that does happen too), then you cannot count on.... "family nights" as a routine.
If your Husband also takes, classes during breaks (ie: winter or summer) for example, these classes are typically more accelerated. Thus, it is more studying, in a heavier manner. Because it is accelerated classes for a shorter term. For example.
So many things, to keep in mind.
The family, has to be very flexible when a Spouse is going to school.
And the one going to school, has to put school, first.
Classes or school work or grades, cannot be, put aside.
I went through this for four.... years.
When my Husband graduated.... my children, were over-the-moon-soooooooooo-excited for my Husband and was so PROUD of him.
I was too. We all went to his graduation. My kids NOW know... what "college" is. They learned a valuable "lesson" seeing their Daddy do it.
Successfully. And that it takes hard work.
My Husband knew, it was not easy on me. But his going to school, was for everyone. That is what I kept in mind. Not about how routines, was more important. For that time being. I kept the kids and me and the family, glued together, even if my Hubby was not able to do everything with us. Due to studying. And I never made him feel bad.... for it.
But ...when a spouse is going to school, the other Spouse is like a Single Parent. But again, look at the bigger picture.
Talk with your Husband too. See what is or is not, workable per your "ideals" for family/child routines.
School is for, many years.
And it has to be a priority.
But moments of family time, can be done.
The Spouse cannot concentrate nor keep up grades, if they are called upon every 10 minutes. In the most basic sense.
They need a place to study, undisturbed, at home, or they will need to go elsewhere to study.
The Wife and whole family, has to be flexible. Not only for yourself... but for the one going to school. Any added "stress", feeds into their not being able to study. Appropriately.