It's actually very common for women to have to do this after a divorce. The women who get the giant alimony payouts and take their husbands to the cleaners are much more rare than the ones left nearly destitute with kids to take care of!
I had to finally declare bankruptcy about 6 years ago after my ex-husband lied to me for several years, ruined our credit - and managed to stick ME with all the debts! (yes, it DOES happen- I never thought it could happen to me, but it did!)
There was a court order that my ex was supposed to continue to make regular payments on credit accounts that HE had run up with online gaming and accrued debt on. I tried to also make it court-appointed that he had to use a payment agency to manage his finances for him, KNOWING he could not follow through- but the court deemed that it would be 'too invasive' for him and so it was solely on the 'honor system'.
Ha.
He occasionally sent in a minimum payment, or sent the payment so it arrived a week late and then accrued another late fee... even though in the divorce the judge said HE was responsible for these payments- the credit card companies do NOT have to comply with that and came after ME as the other name on the accounts. (After assuring me accounts were closed, he had kept the numbers and info in his desk and used them to finance his online gaming. I had no knowledge that the accounts were even open or in some cases, existed. He also did not pay our taxes for two years...)
After two years of trying to monitor this and make him pay, I finally swallowed my pride and consulted an attorney. Now- I had worked with a credit counselor, and done everything I could to make this work. MY issue was that my feckless ex-husband was still financially tied to me through these debts. He had taken out cards with ME as the primary cardholder because I had excellent credit. So even though I had never used them- I was stuck.
The attorney and I figured out that even if my husband made double payments regularly on ALL of the accounts on time every month (which was obviously never going to happen) we would be financially shackled for the next 25 years.
So I declared bankruptcy. My only regret is that it also got my ex off the hook for his lying and spending. But- it saved my life at the time. My little boy and I were living in a one-bedroom apartment and I was driving a used car- the same one I own now. I used my debit card for any purchases requiring a 'credit card' number. I paid all my bills regularly. My credit is still recovering, but it has improved faster than I expected.
my parents also put me down on THEIR credit card accounts. I don't have those cards and never use them- but adding me to their accounts which are paid off regularly did help MY credit improve more quickly. I lived within my means and also made sure to pay my utility bills, etc. ON TIME every month- timing is everything!
Don't feel guilty- that won't do you any good and plenty of people on here who have never been in this situation will rag on you. Next to deciding to leave my husband, it was the most humiliating, depressing thing I ever did. But- afterwards, it was like a 50 pound weight was off my shoulders and I was able to get on with my life and take good care of my son financially. I did not deserve to be punished because my ex husband was an irresponsible liar.
I am not saying it is the perfect solution for everyone. But- sometimes you just need to do what you have to do to get on with your life. Good luck!