How to Decide to Get Rid of the Family Dog??

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I have the same problem with my small dog and it makes me crazy. I have trained him to run on the treadmill and he's done as much as 5 miles at one time. It's taken quite awhile to build him up to that far. He still has too much energy and still runs. He just doesn't run as often as before he started using the treadmill.

Hi K., Just wanted you to know you are not alone. We have a 100lb GoldenRetriever who is so hyper and spaz and thinks he is a tiny little puppy. He drives me crazy and makes it hard to have company. We have done 2 different training programs and he is still a whack job, because of all of his pent up energy. Are there any affordable doggie day cares around? Just 2 days a week of running and romping can make a huge improvement.

If you aren't sure, maybe talk to a trainer first. It is possible to teach her to wait at the door and to come when called. If she is escaping the fence is there any way to reinforce it or put her on a long line in the yard. Also if you are out there with her, reward her for turning away from the fence. It sounds like you really love and care about her. Another option is if it is affordable is to hire a dog walker or neighbor kid that can take her for a long walk a couple of times a week, which can really help get her energy out. Also find some toys that make her think and teach her a few tricks that you can do rapidly. Sit, down, sit, down, etc. I love playing hide and seek with our lab, I put her in a wait, go hide with a cookie, release her and she gets the cookie when she finds me. You can use a buster cube or other treat toy for meal times and put her food in it. That way she has to work to get fed and will have fun at the same time. If she will play ball, that is great exercise. Those are just a couple of ideas if you decide to keep her. Mental games can work dogs as much as physical exercise, but she does need both.

If you rehome her, really talk to the man about other pets and the care she will receive. If you truly feel like your home is not the right one for her, then as hard as it is rehoming can be the best option. It doesn't make you a bad pet owner when you take the time to find the right owner and you are thinking about the dog. Good luck on a very difficult decision.

I think you second guessing your decision should answer your own question. We are a MAJOR dog loving family and we would never rehome our dog for any reason besides them being harmful to our children. The dog is acting out bc it is not getting enough exercise most likely. It would not be fair to the dog to move its home just bc you cant exercise it enough. A small dog will need the same, maybe more. Sorry to sound so harsh but I think it is a selfish decision to make. There are other answers to the situation. GL!

You're taking the easy way out. I don't know if that is what is best for you, or the dog, but unless you have hired a trainer and done more than just basic Petsmart obedience with her, you haven't put much effort into this. I have worked in animal rescue for 10 years, and sometimes rehoming a dog is what is best for the dog - but it is always a stressful and traumatic experience for the dog, as well. You need to know that the trauma you will inflict on her is worth it because her life will be that much better in the long run. And your husband is dead on - if you give this dog away, he will have no reason to assume that you will keep the next dog if things get tough. I would make an effort to see if this dog can be trained or exercised more somehow (maybe Hubby can step it up and walk her a second time in the day) and, as I have heard the experts say, "earn your way out of the relationship." Meaning that if you really cannot give this dog the life she deserves, then you rehome her - but first, you have to put in the effort to make sure that's true.

We are a family of real dog lovers and I feel personally when an individual takes on the purchase of a dog or any pet there is a great deal of responsibility of they are taking on too. It is not fair to the animal, that people think its ok to give away or get rid of the an animal without plenty of thought. I would do as the earlier person said to invest in some dog training and fix the fence that the dog is getting out of first. Did you know that retrievers as a breed tend to mellow with age, our mix slowed down considerably at about 2 1/2 yrs old but she still gets at least 1/2 hr of daily exercise on a brisk walk or jog. Why dont you and your husband get up early with your son and start walking the dog in the mornng b4 work, it can be a nice family activity that is good for all of you exercise wise and to bond more with the dog too. You mentioned that your toddler son loves her and you and your husband too. Not my business but have you thought about how you would explain to your son that you are getting rid of the family pet because it is an inconvenience to you when he runs away but always comes bk? THis could be a tough one. As for the farmer who says he is looking for a dog with a nice farm and children, it sounds too good to be true. I would tell him you feel obligated to want to visit his farm and meet his family b4 you would consider adopting your dog out and I would even consider asking at least $50 for the dog. Even ask to talk to his vet, to be sure he would be a good owner; if he is legit. farmer he will have one. I have heard of this happening as a scam and many times it is a front for people who buy dogs that are cheap or being given away. They get them and sell them to places that use animals for medical testing. Please reconsider this and talk it over for awhile with your husband before making a decision. Thanks

I think you have to consider the happiness of the dog.
Being able to run on a farm sounds like a pretty awesome life.
Yes, you'd miss her, but it's dangerous for her to get out and run loose like that.
One of my friends told me yesterday that they are thinking of getting rid of one of their dogs because she is so naughty and just not even trainable. If they leave her home, she literally tears the house up. I mean shredding furniture, chewing the cabinets. Trying to take her anywhere is even worse.
Their other dog is so mellow and well behaved you don't even know he's around and she is vicious to him. She attacks him and bites him. They kept thinking she'd grow out of it, but it's just getting worse. They're not sure what they'll do because she can't be around other animals, she will not heel on a leash. If she gets loose it can take hours to catch her and she WILL knock people down trying to get out the door. My friend feels really bad because she doesn't know if there's even any hope for that dog and she's had dogs all her life. There aren't a whole lot of options for the dog.
Be glad that yours is happy, can be around kids and have a happy life.
No offense to you....but your dog might be happier getting to run.
I know it's a hard decision but I don't think you should feel guilty if you make a decision with the happiness of the dog in mind.

Best wishes.

yeah, you are just taking the easy way out. you took on the responsibility so you "ought" to see it through. a dog has a lifespan and taking one into your home shouldn't just be for as long as it's convenient. and just so you are prepared: a smaller dog will still need attention, training and excercise.

that said, if you don't want to put the time and energy into training the dog and providing a happy healthy lifestyle for it, then it would probbly be better off with someone who would.

on the other hand, it sounds like you just need to keep her leashed when she is outside, and train her not to run out. and of course, more excercise. watch some "dog whisperer" episodes, that might help. i started watching it after we got our dog, and it's really helpful for learning all kinds of little tricks.

I had a lab as a family pet when I was a kid and I remember all the trouble my mom & dad went through with that dog.
They are VERY high energy and need an active family/lifestyle or will become very destructive. I think if you have found the right home for the dog, then it will be what's best for the dog. I just recommend you don't give her away for free, make sure you are charging a reasonable rehoming fee to ensure she's going to a family that doesn't just want the first free dog they see in an ad.

Good luck with everything!

Wow! You have a lot of strong opinions on both sides listed here. Here's my experience:

Three years ago (today, actually, which is odd!) my husband and I were expecting our first child any day and finally buckled down and made the decision to "rehome" our dog. In our case, he was a Shiba Inu and we had checked with countless sources in person and online and learned that they generally do not do well with a baby being introduced into the home because they are very territorial. My husband had purchased the dog from a breeder right before I met him and from the start, Ziggy was "his" dog. So here I was, 8 months pregnant and about to be a stay-at-home-mom to an infant and a territorial dog that wouldn't listen to me.

My husband LOVED this dog and had truly put the time into trying to control him, but he LOVED his pregnant wife and soon-to-be-son more. We also loved Ziggy enough to know that he wouldn't be happy stuck inside all winter with a new mommy and infant ignoring him and trying to keep him away. We contacted the breeder for advice and they actually wanted him back! Drop off day was so very hard, but a week later they called us and said they were out on a drive with Ziggy in back loving the fresh air and that he was having the time of his life running around on their huge farm with all of his cousins and distant relatives!

So, the way I see it, you are a stay-at-home-mommy who is about to enter a stage where your toddler will completely change on you (you'll live through it, and you'll love him, but you won't always like him!) and you also have a dog that won't really listen to you. You have the ability to give this dog a fantastic life with an owner and children who are prepared to focus on him and have room for him to run. This will also give you the freedom to focus on your son who will soon be entering "terrible twos" and need ALL of your attention and focus to nip several behaviors in the bud!

I think your husband will soften later on about another dog when the time is right. Mine said the same thing at the time, but three years later after going through parenthood, he realized how impossible it would have been for us if we had kept him. He now wants a smaller dog when our children are old enough to help care for the dog and we're ready to put in the WORK that comes with accepting a dog into our home.

Good luck with your decision and don't feel guilty if you decide to give this dog a new, better life and yourself more time to focus on your son!

I would speak with a trainer before making a decision. If this is a dog that you love, perhaps with help you can calm him. However, a trainer may tell you that the farm life would be better for the dog with that much energy! Getting a professional opinion will not only ease your mind, but will remove the guilt you may be feeling (and will you a better argument for that small dog later!) Good luck, I'm puppy training right now, and while I love her, oy is it a lot of work!

Sounds like you really don't want to get rid of her but her running away is causing issues. I would check and see about getting her training lessons on how to sit, stay and not run away. Inside of going with the easiest try teaching her, we can't get rid of our kids because they need instruction so why should we fill the same way about our family pets. I would also suggest a walking schedule, you & your son take a walk with her during the day and your husband at night or whatever works for you. You might also consider walking as a family, a great bonding experience for all of you. Think twice about getting rid of your beloved family pet.

Is he neutered? If not, get that done asap.

If you don't have time/energy to exercise him, perhaps you can bribe (with cookies or whatever) or outright pay someone to come and throw a ball for the dog....

I would also say to give it a little longer, maybe 6 months or so, and reevaluate the situation. Take 15 minutes every day (5 minutes if you can't get 15 in), and work on the basics (sit, down, stay, come, especially come) to help make sure the dog knows who's in charge. And there is nothing wrong with using treats as part of training. Once you've done that for a couple of weeks, get a long training lead (like 20 feet) (or a clothes line or long length of rope) and work on "come" with it. Then, work in the yard with "come" off the leash, at random times, and reward "come" when the dog does it. You can also introduce the "nothing in life is free" dog training method (http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm is one site with info, or google it). Have all your family members practice the commands, but you & your DH will be the ones who will are the "pack leaders".

Don't play chase games with your dog--this only encourages the running.

Remember that at 2 years old, the dog is still a young dog (like a teenager...). Ours, now 9 and 8, did similar things as younger dogs (2,3,4), like digging out under the fence and running around the neighborhood... They are pretty good about coming back when called, but they did love to take off.

Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I grew up with dogs too. They are hard work but they provide alot of love.

My personal opinion, giving the dog away will send the wrong message to your child. It would be different if the dog was causing a threat, but she is just being a normal dog.

I would also suggest the Invisible Fence system. It worked great for our dogs. I also agree that dogs are part of the family and you only get rid of them if they are a threat to you or your children. Good luck with your decision....it doesn't really matter what we all think, in the end follow your heart and instincts.

A good dog is not something to take too lightly. I agree with the invisible fence option, and more exercise if you can fit it in. I would not give up your dog just because she gets out, as long as she is good in every other way. I would figure out what you can do so that she can't or doesn't want to get out. Good luck!

Labs are about the best breed for families that you can get -- they have such good instincts, learn fast and are very good with children (and can be re-trained). We had a chocolate lab for nine years, which I am sorry to say, we just had to put down about 2 weeks ago due to liver cancer.

We got her as a puppy and my son was also about a year old. Looking back, as much as we loved that dog, it probably wasn't the smartest decision to make with such a small child because we were a bit overwhelmed at being parents, new house and then having two kids a few years later. However, my cousin was the breeder and we know that we would be getting a good dog.

We did all the puppy school and dog training classes -- the key is consistency in using the training. Our dog was very social and wanted to be where we were and if we were not outside, then she would dig under the fence and go visit with the neighbors (one in particular gave her treats so that didn't help the situation).

If you are not able to increase your walking schedule with the dog -- does she like to fetch? If so, get one of those tennis ball throwers and have her fetch for a good 10-15 minutes a couple times a day. This you can do while standing at the front door even in the winter.

Recognizing what you can provide for your dog is important and knowing that you have someone interested that has a large property with kids sounds like a good solution.

That being said, what is the alternative, if you cannot keep the dog, give your dog to the animal shelter? I don't think any of the previous responders would want to hear that you simply gave it to an animal shelter, so your possible farm home seems like a responsible option. And your dog is still at a good age (past puppy stuff) that she would assimilate quickly to a new home, especially with five kids... that is lab heaven!

I wouldn't let you husband's opinion about not letting the family get another dog later, as a reasonable factor to deciding what is best for your current dog and family needs. Just as your life has changed in what you feel you can provide for your dog now, the family will continue to evolve and have changes that may allow for a change in thought of a family pet later.

Good luck (if we weren't still overcoming our grief from our own dog, we may have been another loving home to consider for your dog, sorry it just isn't the right time for us).

you need to do whats best for your dog..we often keep our pets do to our own selfishness-yea its hard to let them go-but is your dog really happy?? let him go where he can be free an run-ask if you can come visit...doesnt sound like your hubby is doing a whole lot to help the situation...a smaller dog sounds like a better idea..labs need to run,hunt,smell..etc.good luck

Hi there,

Sorry is this has been suggested already, but we were at the same cross road as you but with a 1 year old Lab Mastiff mix. He is so, so hyper and he would run like crazy every time he could. Our last resort was an invisible fence, and it worked. Now we can just let him out, he can run himself tired and gets all the execrise he needs. So he got to stay :) It honestly was the miracle cure. Good luck!

As a lifelong dog lover and owner, I'm glad you've decided to keep her. A few pointers--walking might not be enough for her. Is there someone who can take her jogging? Playing fetch is a great way to exercise a dog without tiring out the owner! I've had Jack Russell terriers, which need more exercise than most big dogs, and we played endless games of fetch with a tennis ball. Most retrievers love to swim. Is there a safe lake or pond nearby? Somewhere you could play fetch in the water and keep an eye on her? Also, two is still pretty young for many dogs. You may find she mellows a little when she is 3. Good luck!

Before my daughter was born my husband decided that we needed to have a dog in our house. We ended up with a black lab mix puppy(for free) in our home. For the first few weeks I spent my days with my feet up on the couch trying to avoid being bitten because Sammy had been taken away from his mother & litter mates at 5 weeks so he was not socialized yet. We then made the decision to take in another one of his litter mates so he would have another dog to play w/and socialize with. She needed to be fixed in order to take her in because she had ended up at the Animal Shelter after the people that took her in thought they broke her hip. They didn't want to pay to fix it. We paid for all of the surgeries and took her home. They were a lot of fun but very high energy. We live in the city and our back yard isn't very big. They began to dig holes all over the back yard, jump over the fence to get out, and make a general mess every where. I loved them very much but after my daughter was born we had less time to deal with them than before. A new baby is a lot of work as all moms know. She was also my first so I was learning as I went. When she was 6 months old we made the decision to find them a new home because we didn't think it was fair to have them in their kennels for 10hrs a day when we both worked and then never have time to take them for walks. I came from a household that had dogs all my life so I am a big animal lover. But, the reality was they needed more than we could give them. We found a family with 5 kids, a large 5 acre farm, and another older black lab mix dog. It was a very hard thing at the time to do. I cried a lot. But in the end, I know we made the right choice. They have a better life now and I told my husband no more pets for a very long time to come. I don't think you should feel guilty about getting rid of her. She is dog ultimately, not a human. Your family and household need to come first. Good luck with your decision.

I am sorry to say this but I think you should let the man take your dog. your dog will have a better life being able to run and play. just let your husband know that you will be getting a smaller dog down the road that you both can agree on. We had to give away one of our dogs too. So I understand. Yes it will be very hard maybe you can visit your dog at the farm.

I do think you are taking a hard way out of it. I mean you aren't taking it to an over populated humane society that will put the dog down if someone doesn't adopt it. Yeah that is what happens regardless if people want to hear it or not. They have a shelf life. My BFF works there.

I do think that if you can't do this anymore the way you have chosen to go about it is perfect.

But have you though about getting an extremely long chain to put him/her on when you let them out for potty breaks? I know it's a lab but you said you walk him. I'm guessing he's also running around and getting exercise as well. But maybe a very very long chain that would extend the length of your property. That way he can run all he wants and won't get out. We had a very light weight one for and our dog that we had would run around like mad. We do have a double lot though. But regardless that is the only option I can think of that would allow you to keep the dog if he can escape the yard and fence.

Good luck with your decision. I know it will be a hard one.

Our dog is a puppy around 5 lbs and very small but still a very fast runner. We are in training at Petsmart and the trainer mentioned until the puppy is controllable by observing and paying attention to its owner and being retrieved easily and paying attention to you while being busy with another dog or other thing don't take him to a dog park till he has excellent control. One way is to offer the dog a food treat like a piece of his dry food each time he pays attention to you then he will be easier to control. The Trainer stated he needs to come close enough to grab him by the collar or he may run away again. You maybe should take him to a dog park to romp with other dogs to get him more tired. Also if you have a treadmill could see on Youtube how to have a dog use the treadmill it even worked with our puppy as long as two of were present to control and catch him if he walked to far one side or back or forward. A bigger dog would be faster to move and stride.

If you really are not sure you want to keep the dog then you need to let the man take the dog. It sounds like the dog will have a good life. It would be haarder to give your dog away at a later time. One of our dogs died a couple weeks ago and my 3 and 4 year old are still having trouble realizing she is not here and won't be coming back. It will be easier if your child is younger.

I believe there are lots of other alternatives than just giving up on your dog. She clearly needs more exercise, so can you and your son take her for longer walks? I know when my older son was that age, he LOVED going for long walks in his stroller. Does your dog like to play fetch? I take my boys outside and throw the ball (with the Chuck-It) for our dog until she's completely pooped out (she's a brittany - another high-energy breed). My older son loves to throw the ball with the Chuck-It too! Can you fix the fence so that she can't get out? Or if it's an underground fence, can you turn up the shock level on her collar? Can you take her to obedience training? Most dogs need to know the basic commands of sit, stay, and come. Come is the most important one! Perhaps a few sessions with a dog trainer would help you learn how to teach her come.

I personally do not believe in people giving their dogs away. I believe that when you bring a dog into your family, it's not a decision to take lightly. The only reason we would get rid of our dogs would be if they threatened our kids in any way. Your dog sounds like a happy, healthy "puppy" (labs are usually "puppies" until well past 2 years old). Show your son that dogs are a lot of work and let him help with the dog care, like feeding the dog, taking her for walks, throwing the ball, and giving treats after successful obedience training.

Good luck!

I'm not sure I'll be much help, but I can totally relate-am in exactly the same boat. We have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 6mo old..plus a 3 yr old golden and a 7 yr old husky.

The dogs are awesome with the kids-no worries and the golden gets plenty of exercise in the yard. Problem is our husky has become a big huffalump who just lays around. Granted he's 7, but we know he's got it in him. We just don't have the time (or make time) to exersice him the way we used too...and we feel really guilty. We have a neighbor girl walk him once a week, but we can't afford more than that right now.

So basically we are trying to decide if we should find him another home too. We love him-but can't decide what is better for him. He doesn't seem unhappy...he engages with us a lot..but at the same time...90% of his time he is just hanging out in his bed.

My knee jerk right now is to wait a bit-I am afraid to make the wrong decision and I know we would miss him and I think he'd miss us too. but then I waffle and am like..but what if he'd be happier with someone who gave him more attention.

I don't know either. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi K.,

She sounds like a typical lab. Is she getting into trouble when she leaves the house? They love to explore but they find their way home.

We've had our Reese for 10 years now. He's 13. If I let him out of the house outside the fence, he still vanishes but he will RUN home if I clap my hands loud enough for him to hear me. He's been an incredible dog. He's good with kids, even babies that don't have their balance yet. I take him to the nursing home and my Dad loves to pet him. Reese even lets Daddy poke him in the eyes if he misses his head. He only barks when someone is IN our yard and when Dad lived with us, he pushed my Dad out of the road several times on separate occasions before he almost got hit by a car. He has never been aggressive with anyone except a disgruntled employee that actually lunged at my children and a dog that attacked my husband.

Weigh the pros and cons of having her. Labs love to hunt and play in big open spaces but they are also content sitting at your feet. They are one of the most loyal dogs I have ever had. I hope I gave you a little insight into this breed. If you want a dog, this is a really cool one to have.

M.