How to Feed a Picky Eater?

This is normal, and by the time they're this age the appitite has slowed way down. In the first year a baby size is suppose to triple, (if they weighed 7 lb at birth they should be about 21 lb by the first birthday) they would 180 lb by the time they were 3 yrs old. So, as long has she weight gain in within the normal range she is eating as much as she should calorie wise. She is not going to eat as much as an adult or even a 6 yr old cousin. Talk to the doctor if you are concerned about her weight, but 5-8lbs a year is normal until they hit puberty. Toddlers, (as well as bigger kids) are known to be picky eaters) your job is to teach good eating habits. What you can do is insist that she at least has a bite of everything, including veggies before she is done. In the old days,(30 yrs ago) parents told the kids they had to clean their plates before desert, or they got to eat the next morning for breakfast. Kids, for the most part, are going to prefer sweets over veggies, so unless you make her try something that is not sweet, she is not going to on her own. There are books with recipe about how to hide the veggies in a meal. Get the book " What to expect, the Toddler years", this will help alot as the kids grow.

Children may need to see foods many, many times before they'll even try them, let alone like them. Don't give up too easily.

I usually give my daughter one or two things I know she'll eat and one new thing. If she doesn't eat much, I don't worry because I know she'll just eat more at the next meal. Like others have said, children will not starve themselves.

My daughter is only a year old but eats regular food, usually version of what we're eating. If we're eating lasagna, we give her noodles, vegetables, and cheese. She might eat the noodles and vegetables and leave the cheese.

BTW, don't make her sit there until she eats everything. It's good to get them to try everything, but if she's as stubborn as I was, she'll sit there all night and never finish her food. You might get her to take one bite of each dish, and then she can pick what to keep eating.

My daughter is a very picky eater also. For several months I gave her the choice of eating what we ate or eating a peanut butter sandwich, that was her only two choices. Then we decided she needed to start taking 3 bites of everything because she was 3 years old,if she does she gets dessert, if not she doesn't, but it's her choice. We also cut way back on snacks, I was giving her so many snacks she wasn't hungry for dinner. Also, as has been said, I've learned to disguise some food. For example, I always shread a zucchini into the spaghetti sauce and put lime juice or flavored nuts on brocoli. And once in a great while if she won't eat at all, I put it in the refrigerator and when she want's a snack I bring it out. I used to think this was horrid, but as a result one of my daughters favorite foods is cold oatmeal-she doesn't like it hot, or even warm! Hope this helps. Just remember children eat when they're hungry. I was also told up until about age 4 one Tablespoon is one serving.

my sister recently bought the book "The Sneaky Chef," by Missy Chase Lapine and it's great, but it's mostly about sneaking veggies into foods that kids will eat like chicken nuggets. You might want to consider it for getting the nutrients into her that she won't eat otherwise.

As for getting her to eat what everyone else eats, GOOD LUCK! my brother was a picky eater and he still is too this day!

still, there are some things that may help. try making food fun. if you are making spaghetti and meatballs, make hers a spider with the meatball as the body and the noodles as the legs. you can even add peas for the eyes.

or put the sauce on the side and let her dip. My daughter will try foods that she can dip into some sort of sauce when she won't eat them normally.

Another thing you can do is give her choices. instead of telling her we are having spaghetti for dinner, tell her, "you can have spaghetti or you can have a sandwich" (and just put the spaghetti between two slices of bread).

If all else fails, never underestamate the power of a bribe. A lot of people will frown on it, but it works. I tell my daughter if she TRIES everything she can have a Popsicle after dinner and that includes things she may have tired for lunch (sometimes she will hate something at one meal, and then decide she likes it at the next)! it hasn't failed me yet (but it has to be something she LOVES or it's not a good bribe)! plus, usually there will be at least one thing on the table she finds she likes after trying it.

I agree with you about forcing kids to eat things they don't like. She will have plenty of oppertunitys to do that when she's older and ends up at a party where the hostess made something she can't stand but has to eat it anyway to spair feelings. :)

I wouldn't make an extra meal for her, but I would get something like peanut butter crackers and let her have them when ever she wants them(except for right before meals). Then at least she will be getting something healthy and won't just be filling up on junk food and you don't have extra work.

good luck!

Hi C.,

I understand your frustration. My daughter is 3 and she is a good eater as long as I give her the foods that she likes. I always offer her new foods and try to get her to take at least one bite. By doing so, she is at least willing to give it a try.

Experts state that is can take 8-10 times of introducing a new food until the child will try it - this does not guarantee that she will like it. This is basically the rule I follow. Now that she is in pre-school she is beginning to follow what the other kids do and will try new foods - it may only be a taste or a lick but she "tried it" and I can't ask for more.

I used to worry about her not expanding her diet but I have since learned from a physician that her nutritional needs are being met and most children have a limited palate and their tastes for other foods will develop over time.

I quit worrying about her always trying "new foods". Don't get me wrong, I offer her everything, if she says no, that is okay. I just try again and again and again. Eventually she has taken to some new foods and some she refuses.

She is healthy, happy and growing well and that is all that matters to me. Most toddlers prefer routine and structure and this includes food items. If I find something that my daughter loves and she eats well, I stick with it. In doing so, our meal times are very enjoyable, I know that she is getting what she needs and we don't battle over foods. I know her tastes will expand with time, just as mine did.

Hope this helps and good luck.

L.

I agree with what the other lady wrote. I had the same problem with my first daughter. She had to eat what we were eating or she did not eat dinner that night. It took a little time, but she started to try new things and figured out that her favorite food is fish. This is something that she would not try for several months. She eats it with ranch, but at least she eats it now.
The doctor told us that this technique was the best way to get her to eat what we were eating. The doctor also told us that kids should try something ten times before they decide if they like something or not. I know that it is frustrating, but stay consistent and everything else will come in time.

Hi C. I know what you mean. You might want to check out these 2 books.

1. The Sneaky Chef - by Missy Chase Lapine

2. Deceptively Delicious - By Jessica Seinfeld

They are both available on Amazon. They have some really good dishes for the family, but mainly tricking the kids into eating veggies.

M.

Hi C.,
My advice is simple.....when she gets hungry enough she'll eat! To some of you it might sound cruel but 2 year olds test the limit and push buttons where ever possible. Most also don't care for the texture, flavor or look of meat. If she is not allergic I don't see the problem. As long as she is eating the rest of the day, just stick to serving her the same meal everyone else is eating. Try arranging it on the plate in a happy face or alien and when you put her plate in front of her say...."I added something special just for you" if she asks tell her you added an extra dose of love!!(who wants to waste a mother's love) It has always worked for my girls, but they are old enough to know that in my house picky eaters go hungry! Good luck!
K.

Hi C.,

Absolutely, being you does not make you a bad mom! I'm a little on the older side, and I often wish I were much younger, so in some ways you've got a real advantage! :-)

Food. Number one advice I have ever heard is do not let it become a power battle, this may lead to unhealthy control issues with food.

Second, of course you must manage what you can handle and not cater to them to the point that you are run ragged to get meals. Some good ideas I have been given on this:
When preparing a larger batch of things you know they like, plan for them to eat it for several meals, alternating with something else they like; so two meals to alternate over 4 days. Also if it will freeze well, get containers to freeze two portion batches and have freezer meals ready to pull out for them. Already cooked just need thawed and reheated.
When YOU want a meal you know they don't like you whip out one of thier freezer meals or can have them ready for someone elses house, trip away to Grammy's etc. I put container in ziplock bag and let sit in cold water in the sink to thaw. Note: Food safety says that thawing in cold water is the fastest, safest way to thaw.
It's kind of like the expensive Graduates / Toddler meals. Convenient, ready to go, but frozen. Have to plan a little ahead, but not bad.

Also, I read that a child needs to be exposed to as many different tastes as possible as early as possible, AND that a new taste may need to be introduced 15-20 times OR MORE before a child may aquire a taste for something they at first did not like! SO don't give up on "new" foods, they are new for a long long time.
I read the way to do this is that when a meal they "don't like" is served you ask them to take the sample bites and let them know that to follow is the meal they like.
However, wording can be key, so it is suggested that you never discuss in front of them or more importantly don't refer to certain foods as one's they don't like. You are telling them they don't like it and reaffirming this by refering to it as so, and then not giving it to them.

So, waste a few bites of everything at every meal. Offer them whatever they are unsure of as a new taste and make no verbal comments on it. Simply let them taste and make up their own mind about it. If no wanted you simply say, you don't care for that today, ok here is such n such instead. Of course give tons of praise for EVERY TIME a new food is sampled. If not sampling, down play it, give as little attention to it as possible.

The key will be getting everyone involved with meals on board, consistancy, have everyone do the drill the same.

If you child is anything like my little girl, everything on mommy's plate taste better, so I let her try new things right of my plate and share alot until she is comfortable with it and wants her own.

Hope this is helpful.
M.

First of all, "I won't do that to my child" sounds like you're torturing her, when what you're really doing is getting her to put quality nutrition in her body. And not catering to her every whim when the majority of the family has decided on something will come in handy for her as she grows. My parents "made" me (which means if I ate what was there, I ate, and if I didn't, I didn't) eat what they were serving when I was little and I was a very healthy child. (And I don't discuss this "torture" with a therapist today.) When I was in my early teens, my parents divorced and my mom stopped cooking for the family. We ended up in fast food restaurants, snacking, or with pb&j most nights. Today I struggle to maintain good eating habits, though I do much better since having my children. I still don't like vegetables or whole grains because I was used to eating the starches and processed foods I enjoyed as a teen. I have developed a taste for things I wouldn't touch even a few months ago. I had to re-teach myself how to eat (which includes eating some things I don't like), and learn how to use my kitchen, because I was used to eating whatever I "liked". I won't do that to my children.

You are right hearing do not make something else for her. If she is hungry she will eat and there are three things children at this age have figured out they can control: eating, potty training and the sleeping. All about new found powers they have. If you do make her something else she figures then she gets her way. Continue to introduce her to new things that all of you can eat but put the meal in front of her and tell her that is it! If she doesn't want to eat, fine, but if she comes and asks for food because she is hungry, pull out of the fridge what she didn't eat at dinner and that is what she needs to eat. She will not starve herself. There is nothing wrong with adding one of her favorite side dishes to a meal you all are eating, however, encourage her to try a bite of something new or something else for every age she is, like two bites. Do not allow her to fill up on milk before meals or snacks. Make sure she comes to the table hungry. My son did this about six months ago and it drove me batty, I just told him "if you don't want to eat it that is fine, however if you get hungry this is what will be waiting for you". He learned pretty quickly that he was hungry later and best to eat what I served for dinner then a snack or dessert he was going to get if he did.
Both my kids are not to ever say "I don't like this" without trying something at least one bite. If there are specific veggies neither like then I don't make them and am grateful for all the ones they do. I also am not a short order cook. I do ask them and give them choices for meals (which your daughter is a little young for) but also include her in the making of dinner. If she has pride in being a helper then maybe it will make her more willing. You cannot force a child to eat, however you can limit her choices and do not cater to her either. She is learning control and this is where she has it right now. Empowering her in another area, like what cup to drink out of that night, what plate to use may distract her need to feel in control as well. Good luck, I would say 98% of us have gone through this.