How to Get a 14 Month Old to Behave in a Restaurant

You can try a travel sized magna-doodle or a travel sized aqua-doodle. He can color with both without making a mess and it might buy you some more time. Matchbox cars are good too, but they usually end up on the floor. Bring a small backpack of toys, and bring them out one at a time as he gets bored, and change the toys every time you go so he always has something new to play with to keep him busy. 14 months is a good age to start trying new "older" toys. Don't worry, it's a phase!

First of all, if she was tired, fussy or absolutely starving, we avoided setting her up for failure by taking her to certain restaurants. We knew it would not end well.. . We always had a bag of quiet toys for our daughter.. We also made sure to not force her to sit at the table longer that 20 to 30 minutes at a time.. We took turns taking her outside or walk in the front of the restaurant away from the other customers..It only took about 5 minutes...

Before we went inside, we would talk about being inside, so we all needed to use our inside voices.. We reminded her she had to stay seated, no standing or bouncing. If she became too upset, we left. One of us would take her to the car and the other would settle the check and have everything placed in a to go box.. We never made a big deal out of it, but we told her it sure was a shame we had to leave. This only happened twice...

The toys included paper and colors, some little characters.. She liked the Beast and Beauty from Beauty and the beast. We had some playschool cars. and a few books..

We also took a juice and a few of her regular snacks.. just in case the food at the restaurant did not come fast enough.. Pretzels, gold fish etc.. It can be done. We were complimented for our daughters behavior all of the time..

Dear first-time mom,

As a mom of five, the simple answer is: you can't. ANY 14-month old will do what he was put on earth to do at this time...make a mess, cry, get bored, throw everything on the floor, spread his food around and generally cause havoc. Bring a variety of things to play with and finger foods to eat, but be prepared to make a quick exit. You have the rest of your life to eat at nice restaurants; for now, pick places that are kid-friendly and relax a bit--places like "Soup Plantation" and higher class fast food places, for instance "Boston Market". Don't think that you can "solve" this; you can't. He just has to grow up. Enjoy the process and don't stress and above all, make meal time a happy time and learn to appreciate that he is gaining a little independence and learning how to feed himself PS --20 minutes is GOOD for a 14-month-old to sit at a restaurant! Don't have too high of expectations!
Good luck!

duct tape!! When I first read your question I thought you said 14 year old not month. It was kinda funny when you said that he eats the crayons and throws stuff! Wish I could draw that mental image!! We use one of those doodle boards with the magnetic pen. We take turns drawing stuff for him, shapes and animals. He loves to scribble too so that keeps him busy. I've also found that if I put him next to my husband instead of me he's better behaved. He's always good for his Daddy and usually a handful for me so that trick is a really good one.

Hi N.,

First, congratulations on bringing your son to restaurants. We've always done it also and love to eat out but know many parents who just stopped eating out because they fear that their child will misbehave or not eat well.

As for the ideas you need, I guess it depends on what the difficulty is. Is he moving around? making noises? picky eater?...

For us, this is what worked at that age for our son:
- Always ask for an high chair and have him tied in it
- Crayons. We have the "Keep Them Coloring" Placemats from baby'r Us and we love them (the placemat is attached to the table by a thin adhesive around the mat). I think they come in 10 or maybe 20 mats per pack. And crayola has round crayons (like balls) for beginners. Our 10 month old already likes them.
- Small board books (easy to carry and manipulate)
- small soft toys that can be attached to the chair with rings (so no need to pick them up every 10 seconds)
- Snacks. Waiting for his lunch without moving is very hard for an active baby. If you pack easy to clean snacks (cheerios, rice cake, raisins), he can be busy eating. You can also feed him the bread or other appetizers from the table.
- I don't know what you feed him right now. But, we would always try to order something that he could share without big mess (no sauce) instead of giving him his separate lunch. He was always happy to eat from our menus, from Chinese sticky rice to Indian naan, to pizza, steamed veggies or tofu...
- In restaurant, we always had him in a long-sleeves bib.
- I have seen people playing some videos on their iphone with low volume or even with special toddler apps/games, but we never tried that.
- Good timing for him: well rested just after a nap, and so that the food reached him before he gets hungry and crancky
- Good timing for the restaurant: Go before or after the crowd, for example around 11:30 for lunch. If the place is quieter, he'll be less excited and quieter himself. And his noises will not bother other customers.

We are already doing the same with our 10 month old daughter. If anybody knows about a baby spoon that can be attached to the chair or baby, I'd love to know about it :-)

He has been used to go out and knows how to behave. It's just an phase and he'll soon outgrow it.

Good luck.

Good luck. I remember those days... Just bring a bag of toys, ask for a bowl of olives so he can eat them off of his fingers for an additional 10 minutes. Don't ask him to sit in one place until your meal actually arrives. Each adult will have to take a turn walking him around to look at the decor, walk around the outside of the restaurant, etc. He will eventually be able to concentrate on "sitting down" activities, its just that he is very busy learning to use his new-found gross motor skills. Keep in mind that whatever toys you bring you will need to pick up off of the floor, amongst the thrown french fries and spilled juice. Make sure that you tip well.

I think it depends on how he's not behaving. Is it boredom? Is it that he can't sit still? Is he too loud?

We have 'art boxes' for our kids. They are from Learning Express. They are clipboards that hold a coloring book and some crayons. Basically, my kids carry their own bag of fun into a restaurant. They get to pick whatever they want that fits in the bag/art box and that's what they get to play with. (This works great for preschoolers and young grade schoolers.)

I like to keep some special toys in our car that only come into drs offices or restaurant. That keeps them "fresh" to the kids...not the same old toys.

Perhaps your son would like some little racecars (like Match Box) that he ONLY gets when you go out to dinner? Maybe a toy phone with lights and buttons to play with? What about a doll - that has a zipper, button, velcro, etc. (I know Lakeshore Learning has one.)

My suggestion would be don't bring anything you are willing to "lose" and bring stuff that's washable/disenfectable.

To tell you the truth we only went to family friendly restaurants when my kids were little, and even then skipped the appetizers LOL!! Fourteen months is very young to expect a child to sit so I think your child is right where he needs to be. One thing I did do was carry what I called a busy bag. I had little bag of age appropriate toys that I left in the car and only brought them out when we went to dinner so they were new and kept them busy for a while.

Raisins. I'd always give my daughter something "yummy" to eat when she was done eating. A special treat always bought us some extra time. But during that period, we only went to restaurants where I knew we would be served quickly, where it was truly kid friendly, etc. It is a phase, and as long as you keep taking him out, he will learn.

take a break from restaurants...it's a phase he'll grow out of but why make yourself and other diners miserable. Go back in a month.

Remember that you are dealing with a 14 month old....i think 20 minutes of quietly sitting in a high chair is great!!! Our daughter and son in law would take turns with our grandson, letting him walk around outside if the weather was nice or quietly look at things around the restaurant. You could brin a few quiet toys to entertain him but the most important thing is patience...patience...patience!!!
Don't set him ( and yourself) up for frustration and failure. pick the right time, after a nap, not during the "rush hour" at the restaurant. Pick the right place, a family friendly atmosphere with pretty efficient service. Don't expect him to go to an elegant restaurant at 6:00 on Friday night when everyone else and their cousin has shown up at the same time.
Don't get frustrated, this is a learning experience for both of you. You wouldnt put him into a preschool class right now and expect him to fit right in and know exactly how to interact....being out to dinner is just one of those learning experiences for both of you. Relax, don't get upset with him, make it as pleasant an experience for BOTH of you as you can and just know that it WILL get better!!! I promise!!!

If you keep taking him he will get over it most likely. Good for you for taking him out. I agree with N. about some people not bothering. They have to practice good behavior. You can't take a 7 yr old out for the first time and expect them to know how to act.

My son did a similar thing around that age, it was a complete turn around from being the kid people always remarked on how good he was to being very fussy and impatient. But after a few months he started doing great again. I always bring a TON of snacks. (Healthy meal supplementing snacks) I put them in those snack traps or cups with hinged lids that he can open and get the raisins and stuff out of. I also order his meal to come out first, I tell them not to hold it waiting on ours. That way it has a chance to get to the table and get cooling off and I can get him all set up eating before my food comes, hopefully. I also have those stick on placemats that you can color on, and I love them. Just offer one crayon at a time until he can learn not to throw. He might do better than you think with the crayons if they are a novelty only for the restaurant. Snacks are the biggest helper to me. And just be firm and talk to him quietly to reprimand him, he will catch on. And Laurie is right, timing is everything. Don't go out on a Friday night where it will be forever before you are seated and then it's way past bedtime.

I have worked in restaurants forever, and one thing I have noticed is that people who bring things like electronic games and don't make the kids put them away at mealtime to be a part of the family tend to be the type of parents that ignore their children's bad behavior and don't seem to have good family meals. I always wondered why they didn't just get a babysitter if they were going to let the kid not participate and be part of the family. When mine gets older and wants that kind of stuff I am going to be very careful about using it at dinner out, so that my child still knows how to behave in a social situation.

PS- for the strap to hold spoons, etc, I used those pacifier clips that have a velcro loop at one end, and a clip at the other. I used Mams and took the round part that goes on the pacifier off. I clipped everything to my son at the droppsy stage. I used those high chair covers and clipped his spoons to the cover so he couldn't throw them. I brought toys that could be clipped with them too, and those were our "out in public toys".

Hi N.,

Your son's behavior is absolutely appropriate for a 14 month old. It is not reasonable to expect a child of that age to sit quietly in a chair for any length of time. He simply is not capable of it as this age. Taking an infant to a restaurant is not the same as taking a toddler. My very simple suggestion is that, until he is older, you don't try to take him with you. He's not ready.

Be well,
G. B., M.A.
Child Development Specialist & Parent Educator
www.GilaBrown.com

Sounds like you have a lot of good suggestions. But I will say, it is IMPORTANT to let him learn to be still and quiet without being constantly entertained. This is a good age to start. I feel like we completely blew it with our 4 year old in this area. He is constantly touching, grabbing and unable to sit still. Part of it is his personality but I think alot of it has to do with the fact that when we went to restaurants, the doctor's office or the like I always had a backpack with books, play dough, colors etc. And he now has the worst time behaving in restaurants without a distraction. We have weaned him off the backpack full of toys and he is learning to be good but it is still a battle. The other day we had to get up and leave Qdoba because he was yelling and throwing his cup while I was trying to get napkins and stuff.

On the other hand my youngest just turned 2 in Feb and he behaves MUCH better than the 4 year old in public. He is content to sit and be quiet in a restaurant and he is much better behaved.

Just keep this in mind. :o)

N.,

We bring crayons, paper, a mini etch a sketch, and my iPhone with toddler apps loaded. Also make sure you have some snacks as the food does not always arrive fast enough. We also bring our own portable seat so we know she will be strapped in and contained. My husband and I also have a agreement that if she plays up and we can't get her to refocus- we will get the food to go and leave- so far we have not had to resort to that. tonight I did have to leave the restaurant twice with her to get her to refocus- but usually be the second time she gets that we are serious and settles down. the third time and we're done. We've also taken out to restaurants since she was an infant- she's 18 mos now.

That's a tough one...honestly you're going to have good days and days that it just doesn't work. I bring along cheerios or ask for bread as soon as we sit down so he has something to eat. That seems to keep him a little entertained. I also pick family friendly restaurants that are interesting to my son and also able to mask a small amount of noise from him.

Recently we went to Riptide in Mission Viejo...they have Teppan (spelling?) tables there and he LOVED that. Someone cooking in front of him? He sat there the whole time mesmerized.

Good luck!
-M

Truthfully, like another moms said, for a 14 months old baby 20 minutes is great. My son was doing the same thing when he was your son's age when we took him out to restaurant. Sometime we would get frustrated and mad that why can't he just sit still and be a good little boy. (he is our first born too) Our friends and families, especially my in-laws, suggested us not to take him to restaurants anymore, but we figure that sooner and later, he has to learn how to behave when we go out to eat, why not start when he is young. Even though it's hard sometime, but I think it's a good experience for him and for you too. Now, my son is 3 years old, he is behaving a lot better than before, but sometimes he would still feel trap and even get bored when we go out. I would order something he would eat and give him some entertainment to play with or even bring his DVD player to watch his favorite movie. I can tell you the truth. It doesn't not work every single time, but just remember he is still young, he gets bored very fast and just prepared that you might only able to eat half of your meal... But trust me, it will get better. Good Luck! ^_^

This is why I didn't take my son to restaurants till he was about 4 yrs old. And even then it was a few more years before we went anywhere that was not fast food or Chuck E Cheese. He's a baby. This is what babies do. Take out Chinese food is wonderful! You can eat food you didn't have to cook yourself in the comfort of your own home, and your child can just play, or nap, or relax. He's not bad. You don't have to scold. And no one is giving you dirty looks from the near by tables, and everyone can eat in peace. Your child won't be this age forever. Restaurants will still be there when he's a bit older. You can always hire a sitter and and have an adult meal out while your child is playing at home, too.

I don't think t is possible at this age... and really it is unrealistic to expect even kids who are a bit older to do great in a restaurant setting. I would say just skip the restaurants, get take out, and work on this issue when he's a bit older.

Make it easy on yourself and avoid all but the most family freindly, noisy restaurants.
Boys want to be so mobile at that age and don't like to be in the chairs. It's just hard on you mama! Order chinese food in and relax.

Lol - to be honest, you've entered the phase of not dining out. There's a "golden time" when they're infants when you can have long and leisurely meals, which they'll mostly sleep through or be content with a bottle. That's long gone. Then there's the toddler phase where they can't sit in one place for even as long as it takes you to eat, never mind your eating PLUS waiting for the waiter/food/check/etc. You are here. Then later (I've been told) they will gradually gain the ability to sit through a meal. This is much later.

All I can tell you is that Souplantation and other buffet restaurants, combined with speed eating, are now your best friends. (We sometimes go to Pick Up Stix, Croutons, Chipotle, etc too - again, speed eating is important if you want to finish!) Good luck :)

i had the same experience. took my little guy to restaurants up to a little over a year. then sometime after things went south. he's almost 2.5 years old now and i have pretty much given up on restaurants. if i go with my husband, we have to tag team and walk him around etc. they just don't sit still for long. this is a phase that will pass, but you might want to balance how enjoyable the experience is for you guys vs. not going at all and getting take out or something. that's where i'm at.

My son did the same thing. He was so good to go out to restaurants then all of a sudden he changed. Just for a little while though. Now he's is getting better. I take him to toddler friendly restaurants though and always am ready to make a quick exit. This to shall pass. It's just a growing phase.

I have yet to take my twins to a restaurant for the same reasons. At home though they love to read books while they're eating and I also give them various small toys to keep them occupied. I've found they'll eat way better if they're not bored. Once they're bored, things start flying.

don't take him out . the shortest attention span in childhood development is 18 months so your heading into a very short attention span wait a few years and you'll save yourself alot of stress. good luck

Ha Ha. Not to tease but mine is now over two and it actually only gets worse. Here's what we do with our energetic little one. We make sure she's good and hungry so we can at least occupy her with the task of eating. We bring toys. We pick family friendly restaurants. We eat fast and get the heck out.

First you should sit down, order the food then take your son for a walk - outside, around the restaurant... look at the pictures on the walls.... keep him busy until the food comes. 2nd, restaurants tend to bring out the kid's food first then they are done eating by the time the parents eat. Have the restaurant bring your son's food with your food so you are all eating at the same time. You'll have 20 minutes or so to eat then take your son for a walk again until desert comes... Bring some block board books that he can look at - we had a couple of little ones that we would take with us - one was all different colors and one was all different animals... you can read those and ask him the names of the colors and animals and see if he'll repeat them. They also have Cherrios Board books where you but the Cherrios in the book... he may like that too.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Sedatives!
Just kidding, try bringing a small collection of toys with you, like animal figurines. Then introduce them as needed, each one may buy you a few minutes or more. Also I found that if I reserve the highchair for eating only, and get a booth so I can have him with me at the table, I get a happier boy and a little better experience at the restaurant.

Good luck with this one, it's a toughy!

We go out to eat a lot with my 2 yo and 8mo boys. They are far from perfect. We remove them if they are loud but we usually don't go to quiet places or where this would matter much. When we go to restaurants, I buy my 2yo food I know he'll eat. This isn't a time for me to teach him something new or wrestle with vegetables he doesn't like.
I heard a mom suggest once that when they go out to eat, she brings them a granola bar or something like that, a little stack of pringles chips, and a dum-dum sucker to get them thru the end of the meal that seems to take forever. I gotta say I agree with this logic. $5 on a wasted kids meal adds up quickly!
If you go to places with free kids meals that night, there will be a ton of kids there (which always entertained my 2yo a lot)
I hear ya on the crayons! they always give them to my youngest guy too...

He he, there wasn't a lot of dining out when my son was that age. He's 26 months now and is just now getting to the age where he acts semi decently at the table. But, we didn't really expect him to behave at that age. I'm not saying all kids are acting up (which is really just acting like a 14 mo old), because there have been a few rare sightings of the perfect little one completely content to play with a coaster or spoon. But for the rest of us 99% of parents with normal kids, we just have to go to the family friendly restaurant, where you can't hear yourself think or your kid screaming. And the tip about making sure he's good and hungry is helpful, especially if they are feeding themselves to some degree. You might even get a few forkfuls in our own mouth! Good luck!

My son at that age was never good in resturants. I'd have to take him from the table and walk around outside etc. I attempted it 3 times in total and realized I was a fool to expect my liitle guy to sit quitley and whenever we went out he'd get a babysitter. If there was no babysitter and I didn't want to cook we ordered in. At the restaurant you truly enjoying your meal? Is it probably cold when you do eat it? 20 minutes is awesome, but that is usually how long it takes for the food to arrive. Leave him home. I used to be very resentful when I would pay good money to eat at a restuarnt just to hear screaming kids or kids running around it's not fair to anyone unless you go to a children friendly restaurant, the food there is usually not adult friendly LOL

my best advice would be to just go to very kid friendly restaurants, its just a short amount of time they are like this and you can't expect them to sit still in a seat for a long period of time especially when they just learned to walk! life is exciting! it is so much fun to just go with the flow and the best thing you can really do is to guide him to situations that will benefit his creativity and experience of being a baby. just have fun! it doesnt last long i promise :) I personally think it is rude to expect your children to behave....you know what he can handle, and don't expect any more he's just a baby. so many parents talk there babies to death Its rediculous. be wise and enjoy ;)
much love and light
J., Mother of 1, 5 year old cutie pie boy

Your son sitting 20 minutes is really good for his age. My son is 21 months and what we've been doing since he was walking age is going to a family friendly restaurant that we know will serve food quickly. We usually know what we're eating upon arrival, so I'll go in, order, set up the high chair, place mat, food (we bring some snack foods like wheat bread, grapes, cheerios) and my husband takes the baby for a walk outside and burn some extra energy. When the food arrives, I call them on the cell phone and we have dinner. Our son is usually good 15-20 minutes so it's is not a leisurely and relaxing meal, but it works. Sometimes if we're lucky, there will be another family with young kids sitting close by that will distract my son for another 5-10 minutes.

I have a box FULL of toys that I keep in the car and they are only for dining out. I bring the entire box into the restaurant. I have a 3 year old and they can get bored easily. I ask for some bread when we first sit down. Keeping a bunch of toys for him/her will keep them occupied until the food arrives. Don't forget to ask for bread when you sit down. We have had no issues with the server bringing out a couple slices of bread.

For me, I would entertain my kids as much as possible after ordering and while we wait for the food. I hold them, play with them and remind them that when the food comes that we have to sit in our own seats and eat. So when the food comes, they're not already bored and "over it". I cut up food into bite size pieces and place it on a place mat that we brought from home (it's made out of rubber and rolls up). He eats while we eat, and even though I'll have to eat faster cause I usually eat slow, at least we can all enjoy our meal. Hope that helps!

You need to just get a babysitter. Then, when he's a little older, bring play dough. That worked wonders for our kids for long periods of time. I even brought it until they were about 8 or 9 years old!