How to Get My Son to Talk

My DS went to his 2 year old pre school class last year barely talking at all. Now he is never quiet! I barely even remember when he didn't talk.

My son said zero words, and I mean zero until he was 3. Today, 10 months after his first words, he doesn't shut up...ever. You have nothing to be worrying about at 20 months. They grow up fast, enjoy your baby and remember not to blink.

Make him ask for things. If you know he can say a word, then make him say it if he wants that thing. Also, when he does talk, repeat it back to him. In fact, try to figure out what he is babbling. Ask him, are you talking about the puppy..and just keep asking until you figure it out. Some of it is just babble (playing with the instruments to figure out how it all works), but some babble is actual words and actual attempts to communicate. If you can, figure it out and say it.

Also, constantly talk, give a running commentary. When he points, say "use your words, do you want the light on? Then say 'light.'" Give him the words he needs to communicate, and he will quickly pick it up. I find that they just don't know what to say, so if you tell them what to say, they can and will say it.

Don't worry!
He's fine!
A friend of mine years ago (before I had kids) told me we spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
I was a little offended at first, but then I had my son and now I know EXACTLY what she meant.
My son's talking really took off about a month after his 2nd birthday.
He's always been a 'wait and see' kind of kid - it's a learning style.
Every school year at teacher conference time they'd tell me how quiet he was but the rest of the school year they had a hard time getting him to be quiet.
It's good to get his hearing checked but I think he's on track and will be talking up a storm before you know it.

http://www.developmentalweb.com/Washington_State_Early_In...

This is the site I found for you to look up how to start geting some help for your son. My oldest is 2 1/2 and has been in speech therapy for about a year now. He was born with cleft lip and palate so his speech issues are due to that. He is extremely hard to understand. They will send people out to your house to evaluate your son, talk to you about your concerns and what issues you would like help with. They will work with you on making a plan for helping your son. My son has come leaps and bounds in the past year. He went from having a vocabulary of about 5 to 8 words to well over 100 and is now using 5 to 6 word sentences etc. He is able to communicate to us. Before, it was a lot of pointing at things and he would get very frustrated. He understood everything we were telling him but he could just not tell us. He still has a lot of issues with certain letter sounds etc. But without the speech therapy I dont know how he would be. They encourage the parents to be involved, give lots of helpful info and tips on language skills. My son is nearing his 3rd birthday so soon he will be getting his therapy through the school district. They program we have here is called First Steps, and they are the one who made the referals and help every step of the way. The program you have is the same just a different name. They also have lots of different programs for tons of different things if you need help with other things. I really encourage you to get him help now. Early intervention is key for success. You will be so suprised how fast he will improve. Good luck! If you want you can pm me if you need to talk. I have been dealing with speech issues for a while now.

At 20 months he should have some words. Here's what will help. Set him up for a speech evaluation for when he turns 24 months. The expectation of what he can say changes quite a bit once a child turns 2. The next 4 months gives you time to find a good speech therapist or, even better, a team approach for the evaluation. (My son had a team evaluate him. It was the best thing I could have ever done for him.) It also gives YOU time to work with him to see if you can get him to say some words. Instead of giving him what he wants the first time he asks for it, say the word to him, look him straight in the eye and ask him to say the word. If he tries, praise him and give it to him. For example, water (wah--wah), milk, etc. As you are able to get him to try to say the word for what he wants, it opens up more opportunities for him to try to talk. You can also try to teach him to say "help me" ( 'ep me ). When you can't figure out what he needs or wants, it is very frustrating to him. He might not yet show you that, but he will. Toddlers who have trouble communicating start having tantrums when they are frustrated over their lack of ability to make themselves understood. 'Ep me lets you know that they need help, so you only have to figure out what they need help with.

As far as what speech intervention does, it teaches him age appropriate sounds, using fun games, give and take, and getting a child this age used to working on his talking. The therapist also uses aids to help your child work his oral musculature (mouth muscles) to strengthen them so that it is EASIER to move the mouth in the right ways to say words. Not every child can do this without help :), you see. Blowing on specific little toys, doing some brushing with special types of brushing to help with sensory issues within the mouth, etc.

The therapist will also work with him on language issues that will help the words that come out of his mouth start in his brain. Does that make sense? Language and speech go hand in hand. There is receptive language and expressive language. Receptive is what he understands. Expressive is what he can say. They both go hand in hand. Both are worked on during speech therapy.

The best thing you can do is get early help for him so that it is easier for him to learn and so that he will be ready for school. Speech delay causes so many problems for children. And unless there are learning disabilities or structural problems, it is so much easier to address the problem early than it is to wait and have to deal with a problem in school - speech delay and poor speech hurts a school age child in so many ways!

Good luck!
Dawn

How old is your son? The main thing is don't give him anything unless he asks for it. Parents are all too quick to hand over juice or a toy when the child reaches for it. Guide him at first -- he reaches, say, "I want juice, I want toy..etc." and then Ignore him and make him communicate. I mean this in - don't deny his needs, but make him work a little.

My grandson has apraxia of speech. He wasn't talking by 18 months and his mother called the Early Intervention office. She got the number from his pediatrician. However, you can get it by calling the school district main office.

First they evaluated him, not only for speech, but also for other learning disabilities. A therapist came to their home and worked with him and his mother. A social worker also came to their home and helped my daughter learn parenting skills that worked with him. This in home service is only available up until 3 years of age and so I advise you to make an appointment with Early Intervention.

After his third birthday, he went to Head Start as a preschooler. He didn't get along at school because of behavior issues and so the district put him in a therapeutic preschool. He's still in special education program because turned out he has several developmental issues.

I suggest getting an evaluation so that you'll know if he needs services and you'll be able to get them at home if he does. He may be just a slow talker which will relieve your mind.

During the first stages, they taught his mother how to encourage speech. They had her make picture charts so that he could point to what he wanted. They encouraged learning sign language but teaching it was not a part of their services. They also worked with him and his mother on his behavior. He was a difficult and angry child.

It helped because we had an idea of what was causing his lack of speech and his behavior and began ways of improving both.

My grandson didn't babble. I am guessing that since he babbles he may just be slow in learning how to change that babble into speech. I would get an evaluation to be sure.

Keep reading...as many books a day as he enjoys, sing songs, have little conversations with him...if he babbles a word, repeat it and make a big fuss over it (clap, hooray, etc). Ask him questions and require some type of response. His noises/babbling are considered a "word" if he says the same thing consistently for the same items (ex. "ki-kel" for tickle every time). Pay close attention to his speech noises and try to decipher them.

Kids also can develop strongly in one area (sounds like your son is great in physical development) and lag behind in another. However, at 20 months, I would expect a handful of consistent words. Contact Infant Toddler Services, Parents as Teachers or your school district and request and evaluation. It can't hurt and might give you the peace of mind you need.

from your profile I see your son is 20 months??? Concentrate on FUN stuff, animal sounds with toy animals, car vrrooooms and horn beeps with toy cars, etc. My son had early intervention in speech from age 2- age 3, a woman came to the house once a week, she made it fun, he enjoyed it, it costs less than a babysitter would cost! There's no reason not to look into it. but for now, with Mom, keep things fun!

I heard a story about a little boy who never spoke. His parents were very concerned. They took him to all sorts of specialist, had his hearing tested, they were always told.. everything was fine.

At about 3 years old his mother gave him his breakfast and he said
" I do not want Pancakes with syrup!" His mother was astounded and asked, "why have you not spoken before?" He said "because you always served me what I wanted before."

I agree that probably there is not a problem, he is just a late talker.

I remember one time having to tell our daughter that "sometimes, it is ok to not talk. It is just as nice to just sit quietly together."

They talk if you talk to them. Children learn speech by being spoken to throughout the day. All day, everyday. Sing songs to him so he learns them and hums or sings with you. Boys talk later than girls.
One of my grandsons had a few things he might say at that age. Once I handed him bread and butter and he said Thank you. I replied, " I like bread and butter too." Another time he hadn't seen a mattress he liked to jump on for a couple of weeks. When he awoke and saw it he began jumping on it saying "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you." We then knew he really liked that folding mattress.
I went away to work overseas and did not see him for a couple of months. When I returned home he began talking in full sentences after three weeks.
My daughter said, "The reason he's talking is because you talk to him and I don't".
Until she turned 9 when I put her in gym class three times a week she hardly spoke. After she had studied gymnastics she became more communicative.

His pediatrician should give you a questionare that you fill out at his 2yr visit. This questionnaire is about his development, cognitive and physical skills as well as his social behavior. If the doc feels he needs to be assessed by a professional, then you might have some cause for concern. You can also check online what milestones he needs to reach at this age.

My son has aspergers and we got him diagnosed at age 2.5.

All the best and don't give up!

- Call infant toddler services in your area and request a speech therapist. They are free to use and worth a try.

With that said boys tend to do everything sooner physically, and the talking comes later than girls... go figure.. !! LOL It has been said that us mommys tend to talk in more complex language to our girls than our boys, and that is why they are more likely to talk first, then DO. Boys are wired the other way around.. be patient.

My son is only now (almost 3) starting to talk basic talk. Filling in the blanks with Na-na.... bike.. or open La-la door?

Hang in there and be persistent. Follow your gut and ask questions.

Don't be too concerned. You're doing everything right, just keep it up and be encouraging. My sister in law has 5 boys. 3 of the 5 did not talk until nearly their 3rd birthdays. She had them all checked by hearing and speech specialists, but by the time the third one was still silent at 2 she pretty much knew not to worry. Her oldest always spoke for her second son, and he seemed just fine with it. If I asked her second a question, he would look at his older brother who would then answer for him! Her second son's first words were one morning when he walked into the kitchen, clear as day: "May I have some juice?" Imagine her surprise and relief!!!

would depend on how old he is. I have a 1 year old (13 months) who walked at 8 months old, but barely says momma. I dont think anything is wrong, as he understand what we tell him and responds in like to our questions by doing what we ask or replying in babble. We figure speech will come. There is a number of words and sounds they have to do by 18 months before you need to worry about a speech therapist

My son sounds A LOT like yours. I had him evaluated TWICE by the early intervention people-- both times he was low end of normal. I remember thinking he would NEVER talk. Now at almost 4 I wish he be quiet now and then!

One thing I did do was move him from in home care to a day care center when he was 3-- I think being with same age peers helped, instead of either babies or big kids who treated him like a baby!

He is a boy.
But sure, communication is depending on the child. But, it is also taught. ie: teaching him the words for things/for feelings/role playing how to say things and ask for help etc.
It is taught.

Your son seems typical.
I have a son.
But from early on, with both kids, I always taught them how to communicate and taught them the words for it, for their feelings even if grumpy, and that they can tell me.
I am very verbal, my Husband less so. But he is glad our kids are verbal.
My son was even speech delayed when younger and had speech therapy. He is now, the MOST talkative one in our family... from about 3 years old.

Don't push your son. But teach him to be himself and give him the skills to communicate in his own way.
Your son, is VERY young, to be going on and on having a 'conversation.'
It is a skill that develops. It is not all at one time.

Early Childhood Intervention is free for kids up until 2 years old. I didn't even have to get a referral from our Pediatrician. I just called our local agency myself. They come to your home. They do an overall assessment on your child. IF there is any issues, they tell you. It is up to YOU... if you want them to help you and your child. You can start or end at any time. It is great! My son LOVED his speech therapy and his Speech therapist. He still remembers her to this day. He KNEW it was to help him with talking. Of which, he just had a typical speech delay. His development overall... was on par and even advanced in many areas, for his age.
In my State, the local Easter Seals, is the provider for this program. It will differ in each State.
You can ask your Pediatrician for information.

Even if my son was speech delayed however, he communicated very well... using sign language and other means. It never hindered him.
But the speech therapy helped... in the physiological development of his speech.

You cannot just 'expect' your son to tell you things.
It is developed. Your son is young.
And even their personality, affects it.
Some people are just not all talkative.
Some are.
Some need help with learning skills.
Some may not.
But... overall, it is a taught skill. Teaching them the words, ie: happy, sad, grumpy, hungry, help, tired, etc. that YOU teach him, too... in order to LEARN how to communicate. Kids, do not come automatically with these skills.

You don't say how old he is, but here are some thoughts and my experiences.

Some babies, especially boys, don't talk, and then they say sentences....like my son at about 20 months. He even created his own words for some things like milk and give. When he did talk he talked in complete and complex sentences. But he didn't talk alot, even until he was in kindergarten, and people thought he was "not smart".

It is a good thing for you to have his speech and hearing tested. The UW has a program for that if you can get it done through your doctor. I had it done for my son because I was concerned. The reassured me that all was well.