How to Get to School on Time?

Updated on November 03, 2011
L.C. asks from Boulder, CO
28 answers

My SD started Kindy this year and it's been a huge struggle to get her up and in to school on time. She and her dad usually take the bus because her school is right next to the university that he works at. However, and especially lately, they've been missing the bus a lot lately or they've been late a lot. It's getting to the point that it's actually causing a problem with her school and they are threatening to take us in for conferences or whatever they do. So my question is...how do we make sure she doesn't miss the bus but also gets all the necessary things done like brush teeth, brush hair etc.

We've tried bribing her with lunch desserts, taking a "friend" on the bus, watching TV, eating special breakfast food (she does get bfast at school tho), doing her hair...etc. None of this works sometimes b/c she's either too slow/messing around or she's grumpy.

Currently her bedtime is 8:00. I'm thinking that an earlier bedtime might help but even when she's in a good mood she's abominably slow at everything.

We usually let her do all her stuff by herself without hovering/forcing her (like me brushing her hair for her etc.). But I'm wondering if we just need to stand there and watch her get ready....and if she doesn't do it then just do it for her and have her be angry? It seems that at this point, getting to school on time is more important than a happy kid...which is sad because when she fusses/screams/freaks out in the mornings, it pretty much ruins everyone's morning.

So...help!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

In kindergarten you need to hover.
Keep reminding her.
NO TV before school.
lay out clothes and get backpack ready the night before.
But if she's not ready to go when the bus is there she goes how ever she is. Breakfast or no breakfast, Teeth brushed or no.
I've been known to throw the kids into the car with no shoes on and they have to get them on in the car.

4 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My (almost) 5 yr old is SOOO slow in the mornings too, so recently I've begun racing him. If I get ready before he does, after school we just come home. if he beats me, we go to the park after school. It has been working beautifully so far. Once it gets too cold for the park, I will switch the reward to the indoor play area at the mall.

4 moms found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

Oh my...if I let my girls do all there stuff on there own...we'd never make it to school. I let my 6 year old pack her own lunch today....it took constant reminders and it still took her 20 minutes!

I think you do need to step in. At five it would seem you could talk to her about what things she would like to do and the things you need to help with so she can get out the door faster.

Otherwise....I would suggest waking her up earlier.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yes earlier bedtime, because you are going to start waking her up 30 minutes earlier. If still late, 45 minutes, or an hour earlier.. Figure out the real time needed for her to get ready in the morning.

Make sure her clothes are laid out the night before. Her back pack should be packed the night before. Lunch is decided the night before or.. She will eat lunch at school. Make sure there is always money in her lunch card account at school. Make sure her lunch is either placed next to her backpack, in her back pack or handed to her. On her way out of the door.

We used to make a decision about a weeks worth of lunches when the school menu came out. Our daughter hardly ever ate at school, so we would decide on what sandwich, salad or other items she would be eating during that week. .

Wake her up, give her 5 minutes to get to the bathroom to potty, brush her teeth.

Check to make sure that after 5 minutes she ,
Next she gets dressed, then brush her hair. should not take longer than 10 minutes. IF she is running late, dad can brush her hair on the bus. Get and extra brush for either his backpack or her backpack. Place ponytail elastic bands around the handle so they are always there.

Eating breakfast should only take 15 minutes for her to eat. That means you or dad need to have it prepared and served for her.
If she is running late, she can carry a cereal bar and an apple. Otherwise, have her breakfast already prepared, so she can sit down and eat.

Make sure dad is also organized.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes to everything -- try an earlier bedtime, you may want to start the process at 7 if she is very slow. And yes you need to monitor her activities in the morning, she's clearly too young to do it on her own. I don't think you have to do it for her, but guide her: time for this, now time for that. You could try a timer, so that she has 5 minutes to do each task (or however long) and maybe it would be like a game for her. But then also it takes some of the burden off you to be a nag, it's the timer that's in charge. I would also suggest asking for her thoughts, get her involved in the process and order of things. Make a list of all the things that bug her or she struggles with and together come up with ideas of how to improve it. She has a hard time choosing clothes, what if you laid them out the night before? Brushing her teeth is "boring", would she like to listen to music as she's getting ready? She may partly be dragging her feet as a small way to exert some control, so if you give her some decision power, she may cooperate more.

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Let her go to school with messy hair, wrinkled/mismatched clothes and unbrushed teeth. Too bad if she's not done with breakfast either. A natural consequence of not finishing her breakfast is being hungry later. She won't like it at all.

It's not worth the aggravation and believe me, if enough kids comment on her appearance, she'll get her act together on her own.

4 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Kindergarten is too early to let her do it on her own. I have a 4 and 5 yr old. If I left it up to them they would sit in one spot all morning.
I wake them up, walk them to the bathroom and wash thier little faces with a cold wet washcloth to wake them up. I put breakfast in front of them and I stand there and make sure they eat it. They have 10 minutes. If they aren't done, I take it away - dont worry, that only happens once. We all brush teeth together. Clothes have been laid out the night before, So I hand them an article at a time. Put on your shirt. Put on your pants. Here are your shoes. If they dont piddle around and fight me, they have time left to watch a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. That's a motivator for them to hurry. TV is off until they are completely ready to walk out the door. This is a smooth morning routine. By next year, 1st grade, they may be able to do a bit more without my standing over them, but this year, it is my job to make sure they get ready on time. It's a big transition for everyone. Everyone has to do thier part.

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ღ..

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is in 1st grade, I get her ready in the morning to ensure she is at school on time. When I leave to her get ready herself, I come back ten minutes later and shes only got a shirt on.
She does get herself somewhat ready for other things, but for school, I dont care what I have to do, shes not going to be late.
Do you know that if shes late enough times, they can call child services on you and have you investigated?
Yeah, its pretty serious.

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

It only takes a few trips to school in pajamas and a messy hair before a small child feels out of place. I have never met a school teacher (kindergarten) that wont allow a parent to do this a few times to get the hint. I have a few friends who have resorted to this... As long as the clothes are on her back and shoes on her feet send her to school and see what happens. Send a note that explains the deal.

There are many mornings here that my daughter leaves the house not fully prepared and comes home wanting to do better. This is her first year in kindergarten.

My kids go to bed at 6:30 pm to possibly 7pm and wake to get ready for school at 7am 12 hours of sleep.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She's 5, in kindergarten and you let her do all her stuff by herself?
She needs to be up at least an hour before the time she needs to walk out the door.
The night before, you pick out clothes she will wear the next day and have them laid out - no changing minds about it next morning.
If she's in all day kindergarten, have her lunch made the night before.
You wake her up and have her use the bathroom then eat breakfast - about 20 min.
Next it's time to brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, fix hair - about 20 min.
Use the bathroom one more time, put her lunch into her backpack, then it's time for putting on socks, shoes, coat, etc - some kids can do this in 10 min, others take the full 20.
At every stage she has 10 min to do it herself and if it's not done, you will then step in and get it done.
Time to roll - and out the door you go!
The plan is to have her waiting at the bus stop 10 min before the time the bus arrives.
If she needs longer, then get her up earlier (and make her bedtime earlier).
She needs structure and direction (and help) at this age.
Kids thrive on routine.
Tell her if she can get done early and have time left over you will read to her until it's time to put coats on - we use to love to do that.
My son had a few mornings with meltdowns.
Which was weird because once he got to school he had a great time and then didn't want to leave.
When we got home in the afternoon, I'd ask him if he remembered what happened this morning (he'd say yes) and then I'd ask how could we not do that again.
If he had ideas I wanted to hear them, but I made it clear that going to school was the law - it has to be done and I can't home school him - and a smoothly working morning routine just made everyone happy and got the day started on a happy note.
I let him know, when he was calm, that meltdowns are not acceptable.
He eventually learned to do things quickly because he really loved getting all the extra story time he could get.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Set a timer in the bathroom. Set it for 10 minutes. When the timer goes off, she is done, whether she is finished with something or not. This has worked wonders with our son and shower time.

Have her start with her teeth first so that you know that part is done. Hair can be fixed on the bus.

Secondly, adjust your 'panic time'. If you know that you have to be out the door by 730 in order to catch the bus, change it to 715.

3 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Sounds like she needs more discipline with her morning routine. I know you'd like her to do it herself, but I had to 'train' my kids to get up and moving. Think 'baby bootcamp drill sergeant'... that was me, until my kids 'got it'. Last year was the first year they were on autopilot, and they were in K and 1st grade. They both had 3 years of preK, so I think that time helped a lot, like they already understood by the time the hit grade school what was expected of them in the mornings. Stay on her, she'll get there!!

I also tell my kids that if they hustle and get everything done/ready, they can watch a few minutes of t.v. before they have to go to the bus stop :)

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It sounds like she is getting way too much freedom in the mornings. You do realize they can flunk her totally on the late days total right! You do know that? My grandson flunked 1st grade because he was 10-15 minutes late every morning due to traffic on the high way getting backed up. Totally out of his control but he still got held back due to every late day counts as being out half a day. They are only allowed a certain number of absences each year. She may have already met hers.

It's time to just take away the hassle and dress her yourself, take her to the bathroom and brush her teeth for her, brush her hair and shove her out the door (LOL) kicking and screaming with daddy. He can take the whole bus ride to calm her down and get her in a good mood for school. It is time to decide you are the grown up and not her. Making choices is good but:

Have her clothes picked out the night before, NO CHANGING HER MIND IN THE MORNING.

Brush her hair the night before and put it in a pony tail or braid so it will be less tangled in the morning

Have her breakfast packed, the night before, in a sack so she can take it on the bus

Make sure everything she needs is by the door, coat, shoes, backpack, umbrella, etc...anything needed except the clothes she has on and her food

Start slowly if you must, start doing the clothes now and then work up to the other stuff as much as possible

When all this other stuff fails: Let her know this is going to happen the night before then just do it

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have this problem yet, but from what I've read before, it's almost impossible and not really rational to expect a child that's just 5 to do the whole deal by themselves in the time you want them to. Plus, it's a new routine - it might not seem new to you, but it's only October. IS there anything she can do on her own in the car (brush hair?) so there's one less thing to get done before leaving? And ask her for ideas - she's possibly at an age that some control might make her move faster...

Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have two in school one 2nd grade and one in 4K who has "issues" trouble getting ready. I make it on time (most of the time) by the hair of my chiny chin chin LOL
Little tricks that help
Keep a brush in the car and have her brush her hair in the car if you don't get to it.
Step by step reminders in the morning - eat your breakfast, now lets get dressed, brush your teeth. I give her about 5 minutes to do each or I do it for her.
In 3K she went to school in her PJ's as she refused to get dressed. It's to cold out for her little nightgowns now, so I have to physically put her clothes on her some days - like today uggg

So I am no authority cuz I have my struggles but these things are what works for me right now.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

It sounds like she's manipulating you. You are the parent. It's your responsibility to make sure she is at school on time. Make it happen.

So, how do you do that? Definitely an earlier bedtime, so she's well rested. Move it back 15 minutes every few days. My kids start the bedtime routine between 6:30 and 7, with being in bed by 7 to 7:30. Asleep long before 8.

Our routine looks something like this for both our kindy, and our 4th grader. When homework is done, I check it, and then it goes back in the homework folder, which goes in the backpack, which hangs by the door. At that time, I get lunch box (4th) and water bottles, and empty them. They then go change out of school clothes and lay out what they are going to wear the next day, down to socks and underwear. Sometimes their beds didn't get made in the morning, so they do that at this time, so the clothes don't get lost in the messy bed. Shoes are kept by the door in a basket under their backpack, so they don't have to lay those out.

Our kindy is really distractable, so at bedtime, he has a laminated strip of a little boy that has a picture of jammies, a toothbrush, and a medicine bottle. We hand this to him, and ask him to go get ready for bed. He brings us the strip back when he is done, and we confirm he has done everything. (We actually help with the medicine, before anyone goes berserk on that comment.)

In the morning, we do the same thing. He eats breakfast. We tell him how long he has to eat, and set the timer for him, so he can see how he's doing. When he's done, we hand him the picture of the little boy again. Right now it has a shirt, pants, socks, and underwear, and toothbrush, a hair brush, and a medicine bottle on it. We ask him to go get ready with this, and bring it back when he's done. We're transitioning to just a picture of a little boy dressed, but not yet. This has helped a lot.

The other thing we've recently instituted, and has helped both our boys, is we have 20 minutes of quiet music playing for breakfast. Breakfast is over when it is done. We use the same music every morning, so they know when the end is in sight. While getting dressed, we have 10 minutes of music, and another 10 for hair and teeth. We end with 10 minutes for assembling everything to get out the door. Really that just involves snack, water bottle, lunch box, and coat. 50 minutes total, which is really longer than any of them need, but it helps everyone keep on schedule, and since they are up on their own earlier than this, we have the spare time. Our mornings are much calmer and quieter. Even my 3 year old can get out the door on time by herself with this. In fact, yesterday, my husband was off, and never heard the kids getting ready other than when my daughter came into our room to do her hair. He slept in the same hall the entire time! Yay, kids!

And yes, as others have said, it's not the end of the world if their hair isn't done, or whatever. Our kids have gone without homework, because they couldn't find it, their hair undone, their teeth unbrushed, dirty underwear (with a little stigma added :) ), etc. They only do it once or twice. My kindy actually went without the correct uniform one day after arguments, which meant he didn't get to wear his regular clothes on the day of choice. Kids get it. Even a clueless 5 yo.

The calmer you can be, and the more physical helps you have, the easier it will be. The more worked up you are, the worse she will be. I know it's not easy, but you really do set the tone for the house. Hang in there, and try several different ideas. You'll find something that works. GL! :)

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G.R.

answers from Dallas on

my kid get up at 6:45 and then is ready about 7:00 and in school around 7:30 ,we leave everything ready at night,backpack,clothes,socks ,shoes and that way we don't waste time in the morning,i told him if he is not ready by 7:00 am he will go to school in pijamas and if he is wearing just a boxer he will go to school that way :(

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

If it were me, I would give her an earlier bedtime, so she could wake up earlier. I'd start waking her up 15 minutes earlier. If that didn't do it, we'd get up 30 minutes earlier the next day. I would also clearly explain the changes to her the day before. Let her know what you will be doing for her, what is expected, what time she has to leave by, etc. If she dislikes anything or wants to argue, I'd simply tell her that when she is on time to school on a regular basis then we can change some of the new rules again. Like many others have suggested, get everything prepared the night before....clothes, bags packed and lunches ready to go. My neighbor has a kid who is not a morning person, she even gets the toothpaste on the toothbrush and hair accessories out the night before, just to speed up the morning routine. I also have my kids decide on breakfast the night before too, so I can have it ready when they get up. I don't hover over my kid, but he gets time limits. Alright...go brush your teeth. You have five minutes. Alright get your pants on. Now your socks...etc. I usually have a "to go" breakfast on hand, for the days we are just running behind. Melt downs occur with every kid at one time or another. We usually ignore what we can and talk about it in the afternoon.

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

Getting to school on time is VERY important. When a student shows up late they feel embarrassed and out of sorts, not ready to learn. And it is disruptive to the entire class to have as late student com in. This is a problem that you can easily solve by changing your routine with your daughter.
First off, put her to bed 1/2-1 hour earlier every night. Most children do not get enough sleep and it affects not only their mood, but their ability to learn! If she still seems tired and cranky, check on her at night and see if she sleeps with her mouth open and snores, she may have sleep apnea or enlarged adenoids. I knew a little girl whose entire personality changed for the better once her adenoids were removed because she could finally get enough sleep!
To get ready quickly in the morning, preparation the night before is the key. The night before school, make sure that her backpack is ready with everything she will need in school like her completed homework, reading log, permission slip, snack, etc. Then lay out her entire outfit (remember shoes!) for the next day. If she wants to have a say in what she wears, that is the time to do so, NOT in the morning! Check the weather forecast to see if she will need a sweater or coat and gloves, etc. Trying to find missing items like mittens or shoes in the morning will make her late and make everyone grumpy! Pack her lunch box (if she takes one) and store it in the fridge until morning, you can put it in her backpack in the morning.
In the morning, wake her up early enough to have a gentle wake-up. Turn on some pretty music and cuddle with her for a few minutes before she has to get up. Talk to her about what her day is going to be like, mention specifics like what she will have for lunch and whether there is a fun activity at school that day like a field trip or PE. This will get her more excited about getting up and having a great day! Since she is only in Kindergarten, she still needs you to hover/help to make sure she gets ready on time! I am sure she is capable of pouring her own cereal and brushing her own hair, but on a school day, she may just have to submit to some help. One thing that you can do is set a timer for each task she has to do, if she does not complete the task in the set amount of time (like 5 minutes to get dressed, 3 minutes to brush teeth, etc.) then she has to let you help her. She will soon learn that if she wants to do it by herself, she is going to have to hustle! Do not allow TV in the morning, it will only slow her down and make her upset when the TV goes off. Play music that she likes instead, and tell her that IF she is ready with a few minutes to spare, you will read her a story before school. For each day she gets ready on time and does not miss the bus to school, put a sticker on a sticker chart for her, and praise her for her effort. If you want to reward her further, she can earn a small reward after she has filled 5 days on the chart with stickers. DON’T give her bribes every day, she will not really work to earn them and it will just backfire on you.

Best of luck!

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R.S.

answers from Great Falls on

Someone in my office just did this with their child - I'm not sure if he's kindergarten or first grade but it's been a week and working like a charm. Someone made a very simple chart with five or six items on it detailing what to do to get ready for school. The gal who made it used fun photos of a toilet and toothbrushes and cereal boxes and laminated it. It's on 11x17 paper and it just reads down something like 1. Brush your teeth 2. Pour cereal add milk and eat. And depending upon the kid of course, and their reading level you can adjust the number of photos vs words. If they start to not be getting ready ask them where they are on the chart. It's worked so far for them so maybe it might do the trick. Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

My dds are in kinder and son is in 3rd. They have to be ready at 7:30. Their alarms are set for 6:30 and they must be in the kitchen at 7:00 for breakfast ready to go. (I check on them to make sure they are up and going.) That way they can relax and talk during breakfast and we aren't rushing around at the last minute. I fix their hair right before or right after breakfast.

At night, the girls pick out clothes including socks and shoes. They sometimes will also pick out hair accessories.

One rule we have is there is no tv in the morning, not even for my husband and me. It is too much of a distraction because the kids can see it from the kitchen table.

You could also come up with a reward of some kind every time she makes it to the bus on time. Maybe a sticker on a chart and after so many, she earns a small prize or lunch with mom or dad at school. Whatever works with her. Just until she gets into a routine.

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M.A.

answers from Denver on

This may not be an answer you can live with, but I'd suggest telling her that she only has X amount of time to get ready in the morning and you're getting in trouble with the school for her being late. Her choice: have you hover (not an option for me) or go when it's time whether she's ready or not.
I would certainly try to help her learn about time... get a timer and set it for the various things she needs to do (say, ten minutes for bathroom stuff, hair, teeth, etc fifteen minutes for breakfast - or whatever, you get the idea) and give her gentle reminders (hey kiddo, the timer went off and you need to be brushing your hair now).
Then (of course it won't work at first) make her go to school with unbrushed hair, half pj's (as long as she's warm enough, of course!) or stinky breath. It's all a learning process and her peers are going to have a huge impact.
Oh, make SURE to talk to the teacher about what you're doing first! You whant the teacher to know up front that you're teaching important lessons about timeliness - not disrespecting her/him.
Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Some kids (mine and likely yours) are just not morning people. I do not see that she is consciously manipulating you - I try not to impugn bad motives - all it does is set up a negative situation. That said, what I did last year (DS was 4-1/2) was get him up 15 minutes earlier. That meant he could have an 'extra' 5 minutes sleep. It he did not get up, we 'helped' him - we could race to the kitchen or we could carry him upside down like a 'sack of potatoes'. It was fun rather than whiny.

We did not tell him to go brush his teeth - we went with him - we tried to make it fun (OMG, look at those bacteria that want to eat your teeth, let's get them!). Then we helped him get dressed. I will ask him if he wants to get dressed (now) or if he wants help. He generally chooses help and honestly, I am NOT worried I will have to go along to college with him to get him dressed. It is way faster to help him than to argue with him. We are now into enough of a routine that we have been able to let him sleep and extra 30 minutes in the morning and still get him to kindergarten on time.

My son's bedtime routine starts at about 8 pm (sometimes a few minutes earlier). He is in bed by around 8:30 after stories.

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

First of all do as much as you can the night before. I had a friend growing up who even set the breakfast table complete with cereal in bowls the night before.

Second, she's only 5 or 6, yes you probably need to hover a little more than you are, especially if she's not a morning person. I'm not a morning person either. Something I do for ME that helps is use the alarm on my cell phone and keep hitting the snooze until I actually get where I'm going. That way if I DO get sidetracked it's not for more than 5 minutes! Otherwise I find myself sitting there rubbing my foot for half an hour instead of putting on my shoes and socks! And I'm a lot older and (supposedly) more responsible than a kindergartner!

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

You do realize this is your child's way of manipulating you? You are the parent so act like it, she gets a choice...brush your teeth now or I brush them for you (as you stand there and make her do it), get dressed now or I will dress you, eat your breakfast you have til XXX time and if she's not done take it away and move on with your morning.

I must admit I have a neighbor who is the same exact way. They have yet to make it to the bus stop more than a handful of times this year and it's all in part to the fact that she lets her kids control how the morning goes. I'm sorry to sound nasty about this, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves. And yes, guess what, for a while she is going to fight, cry, stomp her feet, etc, but oh well she will learn that this type of "dilly-dallying" is not acceptable and your mornings will get much better.

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C.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Mornings are harder for some kids than others. A routine definitely helps me. Have her pick out her clothes the night before. It really does make a huge difference for kids who struggle with getting ready in the morning. I have 3 of those. I also make my kids get dressed including shoes before breakfast. I also have a time that if they are not ready by, they must go straight to beushing teeth and hair before eating. Yes, I have sent kids to school without breakfast because they would miss the bus otherwise. At a specific time, they go brush teeth and hair, whether or not they are finished eating. If they have enough time, they can go finish afterward. My younger girls, 7 and 5, I do have to hover over. I brush the 5 yr olds hair and sometimes the 7 yr olds. Mornings can be rough, but it does get better. My 12 yr old, who use to struggle in the morning, can get himself ready in no time at all. It just takes time.

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C.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hello,
You & your hubby sit down with her & explain to her the importance & the fun of getting to school on time. By fun I mean, she would be able to talk to her friends before her 1st class, make plans with her friends of doing something together on the weekend. That there wouldn't be anyone steering at her as she walks into class late, nor making remarks about her because she is always late to class (if this is happening).

You could set a timer for her morning routine & let her know if the timer goes off & she isn't ready, you will finish getting her ready. But, that she also will be grounded from doing anything with her friends on the weekend, or from talking on the phone, or the computer or video games (you see where I am going with this). The punishment depends on her age.

Maybe if you set her alarm 30 min. earlier, she maybe ready on time.

I hope this helps & good luck,
C.

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Hmmmm.... I was going to share that I have started using alarms on our old iPhones for my boys. They like waking up on their own and it doesn't make me the "bad guy" who has to get them up out of their deep sleep. (which just feels wrong anyway) I have a 4 yo in preK and a 7 yo in 2nd grade. I've stopped worrying about the 7 yo boy's hair. I figure if that's how he wants to be seen, that's his choice. Also, I use a timer in the morning to keep us all on track. Maybe let her go to school in her pajamas a time or two. Also, we were having issues where my kids would come down in their PJ's, eat and then get dressed. With the alarm clock change, I asked them to get dressed first. It's made breakfast much easier and calmer. I do have to look out for the 4 yo still. He needs help focusing and getting his stuff together. Maybe she just needs a little extra attention for a bit longer. Good luck! It's hard to start the day stressed out.

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