Our son is allergic to dairy (and eggs and peanuts). We found out when he was 7 months old, and he is now 4, so we've gotten pretty used to the dairy-free lifestyle.
I don't know why your daughter can't have any dairy, but if it's allergy-related, check out The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network web site: foodallergy.org.
We also have a very helpful cookbook called "What's to eat? The Dairy, Egg, and Nut-free cookbook" by M. Coss. We have used it quite a bit for things like pancakes, muffins, pasta dishes, meatloaf, etc....in many recipes we just replace regular milk with soy. Rice milk would work well too.
My son drinks Silk brand soy milk, both the regular (red carton) and the "Very Vanilla" (purple carton) which he loves with cereal for breakfast and as a snack/treat beverage. Every grocery store seems to carry it these days. We also buy the individual servings of the Silk Vanilla and chocolate to bring with us to places that don't have a soy option (restaurants, etc...). My son also loves the Silk brand yogurt.
If you look for the Kosher symbol on lunchmeat and hotdog products, that is a pretty good guarantee that they're dairy-free. We buy Hebrew National hotdogs.
The bread we like best is "Village Hearth Cottage Wheat Bread" and you can find it at all the local grocery stores. They also make a white bread version. Brownberry brand hamburger/sandwich and hotdog buns are dairy free as well.
Barbara's brand instant potatoes does not have dairy. We make them with dairy free margarine and soy milk, and they taste just fine.
We buy "Vegan" brand cheese slices which I get at Whole Foods or at the Wedge (21st and Lyndale). It is one of the few soy cheeses that has no caseins. They also make a "grated parmesan-type" cheese that my son loves on noodles. Right now we use "Smart Balance Light" for our butter spread, as it has no dairy (be careful because the regular one does). We've also used Fleischman's Light spread, but it has lots of trans fats, and Smart Balance does not.
For baking, you can use "Crystal Farms" or "Blue Bonnet Light" dairy free margarine. Butter-flavored Crisco has no real butter and works well too.
Duncan Heinz classic yellow cake mix is the only mix out there which has no dairy, and you can use most Pillsbury frostings, just check the label. Tofutti "cuties" soy ice cream sandwiches are terrific treats, and they (Tofutti) make a frozen "cheese" pizza that is wonderful! The "cuties" are in lots of stores; I've only been able to find the pizzas at the Wedge.
There is a bakery in St. Paul that makes chocolate Vegan cakes that are delicious! La Patisserie on Snelling and Randolph. They're kind of expensive, but we use them for birthday cakes and other special occasions.
My son eats Oreos, graham crackers, Club "puffs" crackers, Wheat Thins, Teddy Grahams, Keebler "Bug Crackers" and pretzels for portable snacks. Steer clear of all Goldfish crackers, even the pretzels, for they all contain dairy.
Hope that helps!
S.