How to Re-introduce Naps to a 3Yr Old...?

Updated on October 16, 2012
E.R. asks from DHS, VA
10 answers

My 3yr old son gave up naps completely over a year ago. Though I thought it was a little early and we tried to encourage naps, he never went back to them and we eventually let it go. In the past couple of months, there's been an uptick in his afternoon meltdowns and a few days where we find him fast asleep on the floor somewhere around 3 or 4pm, which then messes up bedtime, etc. I'm sure he would benefit from an afternoon nap - preferably earlier in the afternoon - but not sure how to reintroduce it after a year without? On days when I'm home, I thought I might try to read a story after lunch and snuggle with him on his bed. Unfortunately, that's not going to help much on the 3 days I work each week and have a babysitter who comes to our home to play with him. He's might do a story with her, but he's not going to snuggle. Have also thought about putting him in the car and driving him around for a nap, but that's not very restful sleep. Any other suggestions?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Just tell him he is growing and his body needs rest, and rest helps the body.

My son was a napper all they way to about 5 years old.
It stopped because then he was in Kindergarten (they napped in Kinder too) and then it got too busy in the afternoons per school schedules/homework etc.

But my kids, will nap if tired. I never framed it as being a "bad" thing, just a thing to do by listening to their body.
Or just have a quiet time. Which for me means, just having a quiet afternoon. Quiet things, even for me. We ALL do it together.
My kids are 6 and 9 now, and we still do a quiet time especially when they are tired and overspent from school

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

It sounds like there is no real schedule between you and your babysitter. That's the first thing that he needs. Every morning he should have to get up at the same time. Breakfast, play. Snack, play. Cleanup. Lunch. One hour in his room having "quiet time", by himself, with the door closed, no exceptions. Play quiet music. He can read, play with toys, or lay down and sleep if he wants to - no pressure from you. However, he cannot come out of the room. If he's making a bunch of noise, don't take the bait. (A nanny cam would be smart to see if he is actually in trouble - if you've got a safe room for him, I would think he'd be fine...)

Getting him up in exactly one hour. Snack, play. Dinnertime, time with daddy, bath, short bedtime routine, bed. Bed AT THE SAME TIME everynight. No allowing him to come out of his room either.

As you tighten up his schedule, his sleeping habits will get better. It might get WORSE before it gets better, mind you, but you can't let him fall asleep on the floor any old time during the day because it throws everything off.

You may not be able to really institute daily napping after a year, but the quiet time every day may lead to him snoozing after he accepts that he is in his room without fail, whether he is with you or his babysitter. What you have to do is get your babysitter and you on board with exactly what it is to be done and expect it of yourself and of her.

And NO, don't drive him around to get him to sleep. Being a slave to your child in this way is not the way to set up healthy habits of any kind and a sure fire way to switch the dynamics of parent over the child to child over the parent. Believe me - you don't want to go down that slippery slope because it's a short one...

Dawn

4 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Don't call it nap time. Call it quiet time. If he lies on the bed for story time for you, he can lie on the bed while she reads to him as well. Just encourage the quiet play time in his room. Whether he naps or not, he'll get some rest and quiet time.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Tell him he doesn't have to sleep. He just needs to lay still and 'rest his eyes' for a little while. He will of course fall asleep and wake up feeling so much better.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, it's good to introduce "quiet time" -- not just to try to get him to rest but also, and very importantly I think, to start teaching him how to be alone and entertain himself with no one else there.

But I doubt you can reintroduce a regular, daily nap. Many kids give up naps between two and three. It's normal.

Have you considered adjusting his nighttime sleep and daytime waking routines and times so that he gets to bed earlier and has more hours of nighttime sleep? I would try for more nighttime sleep rather than tryiing to get a child this age, who has already given up regular naps, to start napping again.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

The earlier he wakes up in the morning, the better for getting him to have a rest time starting at 12:00.. I used to tell our daughter, 'Mommy needs a nap"
"You can lay here next to me and read me a story." Then she would proceeded to read me a story and usually, she would fall asleep right next to me.

Quiet music, a book on CD also helped

I would make sure she was up by 1:30..2:00 at the latest.

Make sure you keep him active in the morning and afternoon. Try to get him to bed by 7:30..

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

i have a reluctant napper, she will stall as long as my caffeine reserves can stand, though thankfully i discovered that if she has a regular naptime, there are less meltdowns( me, not her), she gave up her morning nap at the tender age of one, however, she didnt gave up her one o clock nap( there is only so much coffee my body can stand), i try to do all the laundry and dishwashing etc. things in the morning, then at eleven thirty the tv and every noise producing "thing"
goes off and we walk to the park and play,( its a mile away, and she rides in the stroller) or if its raining, we take a long walk with her in the stroller, then when we come back inside, we gather up her storybooks, read, snuggle and then NAP
K. h.

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, E.:

Children need a routine. A nap is put into the routine.
It sounds like you are having a difficult time being the parent.
Nap time is between 12 noon and 3 p.m. or can be 2:30 p.m.
every day.

Even if the child doesn't fall asleep, it is discipline.
One of the ingredients missing in many young mothers vocabulary.
Tell him it is time for him to rest so you can rest as well.
Good luck.
D.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

When my daughter started to phase out her naps we would do quiet time in her room. Let her choose a quiet activity - usually a book or two - and she has to stay in her room for 45 minutes and be quiet. If she got too noisy then she would have to stay longer. Some days she would nap, other days she would read her books and sing songs quietly or play with her dollhouse. Regardless of whether she napped or not that downtime was a big benefit to her.
We had to end it when family came to visit for 5+months and her little sister moved into her room. Little sister must nap and our eldest daughter would distract her too much. So now, for our eldest who is 4-1/2 we do quiet time downstairs where she finds a quiet activity and whoever is watching her (me or her grandmother) sit and read a book. Nice quiet down time for everyone.

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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm a big believer in car naps. Due to the varying therapy schedule of my oldest child (had a severe traumatic brain injury at age 10) my third became an excellent car napper. If he was still asleep when we got home I'd pull out my knitting and listen to the radio.

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