I have tried and tired over and over and so has my soon to be ex to tell my 8 yr old that she has to wait to get a cat. she tries to take my fiancees cat home and we tell her we can't hae pets right now and she cries it makes me feel like i am mean but we have sat down and told her why and read the part in the lease that she can' only have animals in a cage and she wants to put the cat in a cat carrier. I am at wits end how to tell her and not feel mean.
how long are you in that apt. it sounds to me as if you are planning on moving soon. If you are give her a date she can have this cat, mark it on a calendar, and that way she can keep track of it.
What worked for me was i took my child to the landlord and had them tell her that we couldnt have pets. that worked for me.
Have you thought about taking your daughter to the pet store and getting her a bird or a hampster? They are easier to take care of and it will give your daughter some responsibility for when she is able to have a cat. Landlords don't mind those kind of pets.
The rules don't change no matter how much she begs. Just tell her there's no way to have a cat in your home right now. Maybe letting her visit your boyfriend's cat often would help her get over it.
It sounds like to me she's just trying to make you feel guilty for the "situation". She's old enough to understand that there are no pets, why not let her get a "cage" pet until the time comes that you can get a different one. Remember even though things are stressed right now you're still the parent and she's the child.
It's hard for kids to understand leases and apartment rules, especially your daughter's age. Why not compromise and get a fun caged pet like a chinchilla? We have three, they take up little space, can be let loose to run and play with the kids, will let you hold and pet them, they don't bite and are not noisy and are easy to care for. A perfect apartment pet!
Instead of focusing so much on telling her why she can't have one, instead let her know that she can have one the minute that you move somewhere else. Tell her, only if you mean it, that you promise that if you ever move into a different home the first thing you will do is get her a cat. Most kids only hear "can" or "can't" so they don't care what your reasons are, she just knows that she "can't". Let her know she "can" when you move. That way she won't feel like this won't ever be a possibility.
Maybe you could take her to the pet shop and see if there is anything the two of you could get that lives in a cage.
You're doing the right thing. Stand firm. We can't be the "good guy" all the time.
Not only is she learning that you can't have pets in the apartment, she's learning that the world has rules she has to follow, and she may not like them. It's a big, more important lesson, so of course, her reaction to it will be more extreme.
You are showing her a boundary, and she is just reacting to it. Keep the course and know you're doing the right thing. It doesn't matter that you tell her the same thing over and over, it's still the thing you have to do. There's not a magic way to say it that will make her not sad about it.
Great job, though. This is the hard part of parenting, right? And you're right on the money.
G., it's hard not to give our children everything they want. I feel for you. Have you tried explaining how the cat would feel about living in a cat carrier? Perhaps if your daughter could understand that the cat would not have a happy life living in a cage, she might be more willing to let go of her cat dream. Perhaps you she (and you) could adopt a large cat at the zoo instead. The Kansas City Zoo has the Adopt a Wild Child program. It might help her feel better about not being able to have a cat living her in home knowing that she is helping a really large cat! http://www.kansascityzoo.org/Adopt/Index.asp?IdS=001147-B...=
Good luck to you and your family.
