How to Tell My Stricts Parents I Failed a Class

Just rip it off like a band-aid! Spill it. Everything will be OK. If you know they are gonna freak just be prepared for it...they will get over it,

Kudos to you for keeping such good grades. Your parents are probably very proud of you...and possibly even so hard on you because they know you have the potential for excellence, I am sure they will see your side and understand...eventually ;)

Things are never as hard/difficult as we make them out to be in our heads!

Tell them honestly and then tell them your plan for 1) making up the credit and 2) how you will succeed the next time you are having trouble in a class.

My 17 year old had lots of trouble in Honors Chemistry last year too. Teacher not so good (hey, maybe it was the same one! LOL)
but my son never went to ask other tutors or teachers for help either.

When he got his second C - in that class, he came to us and told us, and then explained what he had learned by not pushing himself, by not doing more than "minimum" and how he was going to fix the grade by the end of the year.
That showed a sign of maturity by admitting a mistake.

Good luck.

Failure can teach you a lot. I failed two classes in college. Calculus and biochemistry. I learned that I really wanted to be an English major. Now I am an English professor and I love my job. Try to think about what you can learn from this failure. Do you need to change your major? Do you need to seek out tutoring? Do you need to seek out ways to find teachers that will better fit your learning style? I think you should think about these ideas and then present your parents with a plan for how you are going to resolve this slight set back. Good luck to you.

So you are only finding out TODAY that you fail Chemistry LAST YEAR? I can't imagine how that can be!

Since you have a history of excelling and now have the intent to make up the unacceptable work they may go easy on you.

But I hope it's a lesson in not letting things go. If you didn't get your report card you really should've found out what your grades were anyway (can't you check them on line?). I would think your parents would've hounded you for your final grades of the year. How'd you get away with that?

And anyway, I'd like to think you've never had a grade below C not because your parents will 'freak out' but because you have self respect and know you can do the work.

If you show them you're willing to continue to be an excellent student, this too shall pass. Take their 'freak out' as gracefully as possible. Show them it's an isolated incident.

Good Luck!

Wait, this may be a stupid question, but are you in HS or college? I'm guessing HS, because in college you don't need to get stuff signed by your parents. Whatever the case, please just bite the bullet and be honest with them, tell them you know that you let them down in this instance, and have a solution in hand. As a parent of 2 teens, I value honesty over just about everything, and am much more likely to be receptive when my kids own up to their actions and try to be accountable for them. Hopefully your parents will see that this is just an isolated incident and that you are making an effort to remedy the situation. Good Luck!

I don't quite understand how this situation has gone floating about for so long. But it's time to tell the truth now. Delaying or whining will make it worse. Tell your parents where you stand academically, and why you didn't know about your grade before - no excuses. Mature people don't try to come up with excuses.

It would help if you have a SENSIBLE plan in mind already for making up the work - "I already know of a tutor who will work with me," or "I've asked for information about summer courses."

If your parents expected you to do well in chemistry, and you let them think you were doing well even if you knew you were struggling, then you have let them down. You will need to ask forgiveness, and earn back their confidence by being extremely honest about everything. If you lose some privileges for a while, well, that's life. In the working world, if you fall below par, you're out of a job. Many people learn to work smarter after they've experienced failure, because they take it more seriously. I hope you'll be one of them.

You need to be honest, first with yourself and then with your parents.
There is no way that you were completely unaware that your grade was not good. Even with not seeing a final grade, I'm sure you saw your test scores and other grades throughout the semester. Take this as a lesson in life; ignoring a problem will not make it go away.
When you talk to your parents, take responsibility and tell them that you will do everything you can to make sure it does not happen again. And let them know what steps you will be taking to make sure it does not happen again. Presenting them this information in an up-front manner will show them maturity and will help them see past any anger they may have at your not doing well in school.
And hey, if you get grounded, take the extra time to start studying chemistry so it is a little easier the next time you take it.

I agree that honesty is the best policy. It's going to be hard, scary, and potentially explosive, but they may just surprise you. Especially if you go in with a humble attitude. When my 23yo son was younger, often he came in 'ready for a fight' whenever he'd done something he thought/knew we'd be upset by. That attitude sets the tone for the conversation from the get go.

Growing up sucks big time sometimes, but this will prepare you for jobs where you may find that you fell short of what you think is your bosses expectations. It'll show you how to handle the situation without crying or getting angry. My problem has always been the crying. I'd cry then I'd get mad at myself for crying which induced....more crying. But I finally got over that and would just tell it straight.

Best of luck to you.

I am assuming that you are in college, because your parents would already know all of this if you were in high school. In any case, you sound like a big boy, and you need to face something here. If you mentioned only one time where you were trying to shift blame for what happend here to someone else, maybe an adult would buy it, but not twice in one question. The teacher is just not at fault for your grades, and the school is not at fault because they did not tell you something, those are big excuses that you are used to try and deflect some of this responsiblity.

Don't go there. Have some respect for yourself, and for your parents intelliegence, because they are going to see straight throught this tap and dance. Don't blame anyone else for your predicament, ever, and you have nothing to explain other than you are a human being and you made a mistake and you need to fix it. Pure and simple and all grown up.

What you are really asking, is how do I keep my parents from being disapointed in me, and how can I deflect blame? You can't. They will be disapointed, but they will be far more disapointed in you if you try to make it somebody elses fault. It is your fault, your class, your failure to contact that teacher and make the connection you needed to, yours. Every teacher is not going to be a perfect match for you, and if you are old enough to take chemistry, so you are old enough to know that learning the matieral is your responsiblity, and you have to learn it the way the teacher expects; getting it done thier way is also your responsiblity. You are responsible for going to the school to get a copy of your grades if it did not come, and it is your responsiblity to know the academic policies of the school you attend.

What you have to make them understand is that you failed at something. It happens, you either pick up the pieces and stop looking for someone else to blame, or you continue to fail, because you just can't do both and be a success.

Tell them, don't blame, tell them you failed and take responsiblity for what you have done and not done. If I am reading you right, it will be a nice change for you to take responsiblity and be a grown up and move forward and your parents will see a difference in you, uless you try to blame everybody else, in which case, be prepared for disapointment in both your grade, and your charachter. They will appreciate that you are a grown up, even if you have to do credit recovery or retake a course to continue your education.

M.

It is hard to get mad at a child when they are honest about what has happened. Truly explain to them everything and tell them that you know how they expect you to get above a C at all times and that as they know, you try to do that for them but this is one case that you just didn't do well. Tell them that you are disappointed enough in yourself and that you hope that they will give you the opportunity to make it right on your own without being upset with you. Tell them you will retake it and you WILL make it better. Come up with a punishment that is fair yourself and tell them that if you do not get at least a C next time, that will be your punishment. Also, maybe come up with a new study structure that you are putting upon yourself to make sure you pass the class this time. Example: If you normally do your homework for 30 mins then go out with friends, tell them that this time you will make sure that you do not go anywhere on the days prior to a Chemistry test. Tell them that you take this very seriously and you are upset with yourself. That should leave nothing for them to say to you. :o) Good luck and mean what you say so they trust you in the future.

Simply put: Own the F when you are talking to your parents, don't displace the blame, make a plan to fix it or do better (like try to find a tutor).

Tell them what you just told us. Maybe you could e-mail them your post and tell them you are so worried about this and disappointed in yourself that you went to a web site to ask for help telling them. I think they will know that you didn't just blow off the class because you have always been a really good student. Anyway good luck , mom of 7, R.

I had a similar situation in college. I was failing a class, I knew it, and with the failure of this class, I would also be losing my scholarship that covered my tuition. Big stuff! Here's what I did. I took what I call the cowards way out and wrote my mom an email. I told her exactly why I was failing the class (I hated it and didn't put any effort into it), that I was changing my major because of this class (it made me realize that I hated not only the class but my major as well), and that I had already applied for several scholarships but that I understood the consequences of my actions and that I would begin the process of taking out student loans to pay for my continuing education.

Now in my case, the email was actually the best way to go. My mom said it actually gave her a chance to calmly think about what was happening and form a rational response rather than just reacting from the gut and flying off the handle. She did reiterate several times though how much she appreciated my honesty and my taking responsibility for EVERYTHING (no putting the blame on the teach!). I'm not saying that YOU should necessarily use email as your method of telling your parents, but you should be completely honest with them--and with yourself. You should also be prepared with a plan of action for dealing with the consequences of how failing this class is going to affect the rest of your schooling (weather your in HS or college, your post isn't clear on that).

Also, something my mom said to me during our actual conversation about this that has stuck with me and that I really understand and appreciate now that I am a parent..."We aren't disappointed IN you, we are disappointed FOR you. We understand how this is going to affect you and we wanted for you to be able to avoid this. No matter what happens though, your dad and I will always love and support you".

I hope this helps. Keep your head up and know that everything happens for a reason--even failure.