How to Tell People . . .

Most people get uncomfortable when you say "vagina". So, i would say , "My vagina can't handle another delivery." :) LOL
L.

At first you could just say "my due date is xxxx" because really that gives an approximate timeframe for when the baby SHOULD arrive. Then as you progress and have a c-section scheduled, you can simply (to those that you want to share with) say "my c-section is scheduled for xxx". If they ask WHY??? You should simply say "I dont' want to go into details but it is medically necessary"...end of discussion. Those that know you well (family) will probably already have an idea of what you went through.

Don't lie.

I had to schedule a c-section. We knew from about 20 weeks, that it would be my only option. I did not explain to people why. I simply said, "I am having a planned c-section. It is the safest option for the health of myself and the baby." That's it. Almost all people didn't press after that. If they did, it wasn't really someone I wanted to continue a conversation with, anyway.

Who gives a rats a** what others think! Its your body and you've got to be well enough to be there for your babies! You do what you need to do mama!

My opinion, screw them. I had one vaginal and two scheduled c-sections and could have cared less what anyones opinion was.

Its ok the tell them your having a c-section, and when they ask, say its because you and your doctor decided thats whats best for you and your baby. The rest is none of their damn business.

Im sure a few midwives have had to have c-sections, it happens, we all live, people need to get off their high horse and shut up.

Whoa, sorry, this annoys me when people cannot keep their mouths shut about someone elses body and baby.

C-sections are so common, I can't imagine why anyone would even question it at all. Really it is none of there business to begin with. Just tell them you are pregnant and leave it at that.

First of all, I'm sorry you had problems.

Secondly, you owe no one any explanations.

Just say your due date then go to the hospital when you are scheduled.

Best wishes!

A due date is a due date, and the scheduled C section won't happen till it's scheduled. Just tell them when it's due. People don't generally ask how you're going to deliver. If they do, you tell them that you'll do what's best. It's no one else's business what or why.

If someone asks, you smile sweetly and say "for medical reasons we've been advised to schedule a C-section". I had to do this with the birth of my twins and I was pleasantly surprised when that simple phrase worked on all the nosy people.

I dont think it's anyone's business. I would just tell them the due date and leave it at that.

Who do you have as friends? I had a few friends who needed to have scheduled c-sections because of medical needs. I never gave it a second thought.

If you were scheduling it, just like an induction, because you have a trip planned, want it to be the same as someone's birthday, or any other stupid scheduling reason then you may get looks. Medical needs do not get looks.

I have a friend who lost two children within hours of being born. I can't remember the medical condition but she could only have her kids by c-section or they die. Sounds like sound judgement to me.

Is it really anyone's business? If someone just HAS to know, look at them firmly and say, "Well, if I try to have a baby vaginally again, I'll probably end up shitting myself for the rest of my life." I'm quite sure that will shut them up! And actually, I have a friend in your situation who has gone on to have two more very successful pregnancies and is now pregnant with #4. She always has a c-section scheduled and it's all good! If you don't want to be as blunt as my previous suggestion, still, look folks in the eye and say confidently -and unapologetically -that you have a c-section scheduled. It's NONE of their business why, but since some will ask, you can just say -"Medical reasons...." -nosiness doesn't really deserve rewarding.

Tell them that for medical reasons that you've discussed with your doctor, it is safest for you and your child if you have a c-section. They do not need to know the details. There are many reasons to schedule a c-section and it is nobody's business but yours. If someone gets nosey, say that you are not discussing it further and HIPPA prevents your doctor from doing so.

I have had all 3 of mine by c-section...the first turned into an emergency after baby's heart rate dropped after over 3 hrs hours of pushing and no progress. I hear you on the judgement stuff! I keep it short and sweet and say "Thank God for modern medicine because if I had been a pioneer or a cave woman both Lauren and I would have died during childborth!" It is A) the truth B) usally shuts them up and C) gives them the opportunity to ask questions if they are curious. I'd rather have someone ask than make an incorrect and petty snap judgement any day! :)

I completely understand your dillema!!! You have to remember that it is no one else's buisiness how you birth your baby!!!! Why does it matter to them??? You don't have to tell them that you are having a c-section. You can just simply state your due around the end of november etc. or the first of may etc. When they pry, say we don't really know yet--we are going to do whats best for both of us. Keep it simple and it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks. GL and go for it!!!

M

Just tell them the due date is X (X being the date of your c-section). Don't tell them anything else (ie, that you're planning a c-section). If they ask "how did your first birth go (or other inappropriate question), just smile and say "I don't generally discuss personal healthy issues with anyone other my doctor & husband."

And yes, there are times when c-sections are the better option, and this definitely sounds like one of them. G-d bless you on your healing and your journey in adding to your family.

Why is it anyone else's business? I'd just tell them that you are due on your scheduled c-section date. Those who matter won't judge you. Those who do judge you aren't worth your time. They don't need to know your medical history.

just tell them that your ob said you have to have a c section due to complications with your sons birth. thats all you have to say and if they want to be judgmental let them. you shouldnt have to explain in detail.

Just deal with it as you would as if you weren't scheduling a c-section and didn't know the due date when it comes to telling people. No one is entitled to know and you're not obligated to tell. And when you get closer to your due date and the c-section is officially scheduled, and you need to let someone know in order to babysit your older child and you decide you want to tell people that you have a date for delivery with a c-section, keep it simple.

Then use this approach: "This is when we have the c-section scheduled. What was that? Why do you ask? Yes, why are you asking why I'm having a c-section?"

Base your answer on the person's reaction to your questioning them. If they're just being nosy then you can say, "Oh, okay, well that's between me and my doctor."

If they're asking because they've had c-section issues or health concerns and are commiserating then you can (or not) elaborate a little bit with, "Yes, my doctor and I decided that a c-section would be best for some health concerns" and then depending on what you feel comfortable with, details from there.

Keep it simple.
When are you due? - give the date of the c-section without saying c-section.
If someone asks are you having in natural? yes, it will naturally come out in some form or fashion.
Are you having a c-section? yes, the dr. said that would be best this time.

Tell them when the time gets closer that the way it's looking you're going to have to have a c-section cause the baby is breech. Most, if not all of them, aren't going to think anything of it and sure as heck won't know.

Oh you just tell them when the baby is due and move on. If they ask more than that, just tell them it is a C-section for health reasons. I can't believe anyone would ask more than that ;) Good luck, I think it's great you are feeling ready to try again a traumatic birth is really something to get past, so kuddos to you!

they don't need to know the details...tell them your due date and that's it...they don't need to know any more than that. That's MY opinion!!!

I'm sorry that you had such a horrible time....that just sucks big time!!! How great that you have an OB/GYN who is willing to work with you...funky question - is it possible they can reconstruct your vagina and rectum? I take it you have rectocile in a bad way....????

GOOD LUCK!!

Why not just give the babies due date and leave it at that? Most people will assume that you wont be scheduling a c-section so don't ask and don't tell. But honestly, scheduled c-sections happen more often than you think and I think people will be less judgemental than you anticipate. I had one because my baby was breech. Just keep it vague and hope they get the hint if they pry. Good luck!

You have already gotten a ton of good answers, but I would say just be vague or tell them you are having a medically planned C-section -- none of their business anyway :) Sorry for what you went through - Good luck and God bless!

I know how you feel. I felt like I had to explain myself each and every time for some things and it really gets old fast. And some people are so judgmental. You really cannot escape it. Personally, I try to avoid talking about those things that did not go as planned for me (such as having a c-section, health issues, and my breastfeeding problems with both kids). At first I would try to explain my entire situation and I could tell certain people still thought I did not try hard enough or whatever. I will be glad when my children are much older and these conversations stop coming up so much. Good luck.

I am having another c section with this baby because it's my choice! No one else has to go through the birth but you so don't worry what they say or think! You have to do what's best for you and your baby! I get the comments from my mom telling me to try and have a VBAC but I would rather avoid issues again. I wouldn't lie about it there's no shame in a c section!

Tell them your due date, and just before your scheduled c-section, just tell people that your doc. has scheduled one due to complications from your first pregnancy. This way you will avoid the explanations throughout pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with c-sections. I was in labor for 32 hours...pushed for 3.5 hrs. and ended with a c-section. With our next...we will have a scheduled c-section...and I am PROUD of it. I don't ever want to go through that again. Good luck!

Just tell people your due date. They don't need to know how you're delivering. With my first pregnancy I had twins, so it was going to be a c-section from the start. I didn't bother with this unless people asked. I gave them my due date, and if people questioned, I just simply said a vaginal birth is very high risk for me. That was enough.

tell them the due date and leave it at that. If they ask, tell them for medical reasons you have to do a C section.

If they insist, then tell them, I'm sorry I don't feel like talking about it. change the subject.

Not their business..... just go as planned whatever that is in your plan and when the time comes of delivery, it is what it is. I know it can be hard for mommies to be all around, sharing a story and feeling like you need to share or justify yours........but really you don't if it is uncomfortable for you.

I will pray all goes well. When you due ??? Congrads !

I don't think anyone will really get that into it do you? People will be asking when you are due - they will not be asking if you are having a c section. Just keep it to yourself, it's nobody's business.

Good luck!

Do whatever will cause you the least stress and anxiety. :)

You have your reasons, if I were you, when people ask your plans I would just say, "we'll see what happens when we get there..."

It is nobody's business really. I have had two natural births, well, mostly natural... but I know plenty of C-sections and epidural mamas and ya know what, you can't tell how those babies came into the world- they are all beautiful.

C-sections are risky, you know that... but all parts of life are weighing our risks against out benefits... do what makes sense to you.

-M.

Just say your due date. No one will ask more than that. If they ask about being early or late with your other one or something, just say, "you never know?"
You never know if your baby will go into labor early- so even a planned C-section can change. :)
Good luck with the pregnancy.

I had an emergency C section with my son so when I was pregnant with my daughter my doctor and I talked about it and I told him I didn't want to try for a Vbac (I have family members who had serious complications and I was afraid). So, when the due date question came up I'd say, "Well, my child is coming on 12/19" and when people said, "good luck, they never come on the due date." and I'd just smile and say, "Well, the dr. is surgically removing my baby then so pretty sure it will come that day." I didn't say it in a snotty way, just smiled and said it sweetly!!!!

Me, I would tell people and then have an attitude with them if they gave me a hard time, or even said one judgmental word. But that's me...
I had one vaginal and 2 c-sections (not planned). Every birth is a miracle, every baby is great. I do not think anyone should judge people for whether they have a home birth, water birth, hospital birth, c-section, drugs, whatever, same thing with whether you breastfeed or give formula. It is up to you!!! Good luck to you and I hope you feel better! I am so glad you are even willing to have another baby after what you went through!

We had a different situation than yours. Our first was breech so we had to schedule a c-section. We told people we were having a c-section, but didn't tell them the day or time. Drove people crazy! We wanted to have a little bit of excitement about the date/time instead of it being a scheduled event.

I'm with the majority of the other mama's here: tell people your due date & leave it at that. Personally, I would never dream of asking anything further with the exception of my very closest friends or my sister. If it was myself being questioned as though I had committed sort of crime I would just say, "Well, my crystal ball is broken so I can't see into the future today & tell you how the whole thing is going to go down. So sorry!"

Just tell them, that due to past medical problems, your OB said that a c-section is best for the health of the baby and M.. They don't need details.

If they keep pressing you for details, just tell them "If I wanted you to know, I would have told you."

My friend told everyone her due date. She was scheduled for a C section. No one rolled their eyes. Everyone understood.

It's your body. Do what you want to do:)) Don't care what others will think,

People are just curious by nature. My friend that lives in Billings had C-sections with each of her 4 children. She carried the first child forever!!! She just never went in to labor, no braxon hicks, nothing. They took him and it was almost too late, the placenta had started breaking down and he had some learning disabilities that could have been caused by the long gestational period. They too told her she could not carry and child then deliver it naturally. She just old people her due date and left it at that, unless she wanted to go into details of not having ever felt labor pains...

I know you already "what happened" but I'll tell you what I said:

"We're expecting to have a medically necessary c-section."

No one I knew said anything after that.

None of their business.. You dont owe people an explanation for what you do in your life. Your grown, it's your body and your baby. If they ask any questions, me, I'm a sarcastic person, I would say something smart, like, Well their gonna do a tummy tuck at the same time, so why not get a 2 for 1...lol