A couple years ago after my neighbor moved away, I adopted the stray cat that she had been feeding. Now it sits in my lap, follows me around, and would sleep in the bed with me if I let it. This summer we went on vacation for 2 weeks. My husband didn't want to pay for boarding it, and it was ok when we were gone for shorter times. I thought about not going, but we found someone to feed it every day while we were gone. When we came back, we didn't see it for a couple of days and then it came back with a big scratch on its neck. Now a month later, the wound didn't heal and I had to take it to the vet. The first vet said it didn't need stitches, and had me give it antibiotics, and come back in 2 weeks. They gave me a price quote of $100 for both visits with a coupon. 2 weeks later a different vet checked it and said it wasn't healing. They said it would be another $256, but I refused a bunch of things they recommended(such as microchipping), and got it down to $116 for the 2nd visit and they neutered it for free. Now I'm having trouble keeping the cat indoors, it doesn't know how to use a litterbox, and I'm having to sleep on the sofa to take care of it so the meowing for hours doesn't bother my husband. Plus somehow it's managed to undo the stitches. My husband is already annoyed at the cost, and I'm worried that they're going to have to redo the stitches. What should I do?
Edit: Yes, the cat was wearing an e-collar, but I took it off a few times to wash, put ointment on the cat, let it eat. Then I put it back on. The other stray cat that my neighbor was feeding, I did call animal control to get because it had a big wound on its face and I didn't want it bleeding around my son. My neighbor was furious that I had it taken away, she said don't you know it's just a snakebite it would have been fine. Why didn't I do that with this cat? I don't know.....Lilpiggytoes, your response sounds EXACTLY like what my husband probably thinks! He's thinking logically(if it costs more than $300 get rid of the cat) and I'm thinking emotionally(the cat trusts and has bonded with me) Yes, part of this is that my husband did not help choose this cat. He kept on saying "It's not really our cat" when we took it to get shots, named it, took it on walks, got someone to feed it while we were gone, etc. And part of the problem is our history with the cat we had 8 years ago. It's kind of a long story. We picked it from the shelter together before we had kids and it was mostly an indoor cat. When my son was 2, on halloween, the cat came in from the yard and acted poisoned. It was partly blind, paralyzed, and could no longer feed or care for itself. So I made the difficult decision to have it put to sleep because I could not care for it and care for my husband and son. Immediately after that, my husband's doctor told him he could die any minute(luckily wan't true) but I knew that I had made the right decision. He took care of the vet bills then, without telling me til later because I was so upset about everything, and it was probably near $1000 and they couldn't even cure it.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. The cat now "goes" on a towel next to the litterbox but it's also figured out how to escape from a 2nd-story window. Oral antibiotics and ointment again. The vet did the stitches a 2nd time, and did a better job.. My husband says there better not be a 3rd time.
You'll have to either find another home for the cat, or find a way to offset the vets costs (cut back on something else, or get a job or part time job to earn the vet money).
I would be annoyed at the cat & the bills it is accumalting.Actually to tell the truth we have a cat that is sooo old he is still here.He is an outside cat strictly..My hubby seen that he pooped last summer and it had worms in it he made me take it to the vet i'm like why yes we have kids I don't want them to get sick but I said instead of the vet take him to the shelter.He is the most crabby cat he hates to be touched.We feed him and thats it.Sometimes he walks in the house or hubby lets him in I throw him right back out.He pees on things in the sunroom I hate it.My hubby won't let me get rid on him I don't like animals.I have thought about taking him myself but I know hubby will be very angry with me.So here we are with a cat that is crabby and a mom who is crabby because of the darn cat that pees when he comes in from the weather elements he does have his own shelter outside hubby has fixed yup for him in his door to the garage.
You are sleeping on the couch to take care of a cat that is in reality a stray that a neighbor took in and which you agreed to continue feeding as a stray. I understand your husband's annoyance. Vet bills were not a part of the original plan. And because you considered not going on vacation because of the cat, I suggest that your husband also feels that the cat is more important to you then the family.
I suggest that you take the cat to a shelter and get back to sleeping with your husband. Who is more important to you? Your husband or the stray cat?
At the same time, I am sympathetic to your concern for the cat. Most men, in my experience, would not be sympathetic. I grew up in a family with pets but we didn't spend much money on them. A good diet and a warm place to sleep along with companionship was pretty much the extent of our responsibility for them. They became a part of the family and they also had their place in the family. We did not spend as much money on them as we did on the children. We did our best to protect them from injury but if the vet bills were to pile up we would've been unable to pay them.
We would not taken in a stray and allowed it to continue to be a stray, knowing that strays rarely become domesticated. You left him outside to fend for himself which is an invitation to injury. Good that you did get his scratch tended to but......this cat is probably in poor health which causes the cut to not heal properly. We had cats who were both indoor and outdoor and they did get into fights but never did their cuts not heal. One trip to the vet took care of it. I would've found a shelter for the cat two years ago or when you weren't able to provide adequate care for it while your were gone. By then you knew it wouldn't stay in the house.
I would not sacrifice time with my family to care for a cat. I know how difficult it is to let go of a pet once we become attached and therefore am very careful to start with a pet that will fit into the family. You have a good heart. It's time to let go, as difficult as it is. Your family has to be your first priority.
I suggest that this cat needs much more from you and your family than you are able to provide. The cat is putting stress on everyone. He's shown that he is unable to learn a different life style. I urge you to take it to a shelter or the humane society for the cat's benefit as well as that of your family.
Not trying to sound harsh, but if you choose to have an animal in your life, you choose to be responsible for it, and there will be expenses incurred along the way. There is no such thing as a free pet. I've seen vet bills way worse than you have paid so far, plus you got kitty neutered free of charge. You didn't mention if the cat had an e-collar to keep from getting at the stitches but those can help prevent then from undoing them (also known as "The Lampshade" or "The Cone of Shame.") If the stitches are undone, kitty will need to be rechecked at the vet but they might be willing to work something out at lower cost if you explain your situation.
If the wound is not healing as expected, and it has not been done already, you may want to have kitty tested for Feline Leukemia Virus and FIV - these are viruses that cats can be infected with that attack their immune system (they do NOT affect people) and can cause problems with healing.
If you don't feel that you can afford any additional expense that a pet can bring, I would recommend finding another home for it, or taking it to an animal shelter, or contacting a rescue group that can try to adopt it out.
Your profile doesn't say if you had kids or not or anything about you.
If it came to a choice between my cat being taken care of and my kids being taken care of because of the money issue, my kids win hands down.
You chose the cat and to take care of it. I hate to say it bluntly, but we all make bad choices as we travel the road of life. You stepped in a pot hole with the cat. If the cat became a bone of contention between my wife and I, I choose my wife over the cat. I have a dog that I dearly love. He's been with my wife and I for 11 years, but if he ever put my grand kids in danger (biting) or became a bone of contention between my wife and I the dog would be gone. Some animal shelters will take a cat or dog and look for someone to adopt him with no time limit if you pay for its food and board.
You have some tough choices and decisions to make. I don't envy you. Good luck to you and yours.
get rid of the cat .... keep the husband! :)
I adopted a neglected cat from a neighbor 8 years ago. My husband and I had long talks about it before I went over and took the kitten from an old, rusty dog crate they kept it in.
We knew that the commitment we were making in cat care could be for a long time. He wasn't totally on board, but he knew it was important to me to get that kitten out of the cage in that backyard.
And we have had some discussions about the vet bills, the stitches, the meds....she is outdoor/ indoor and we have paid for this.
We make decisions based on necessity, like you do. She has to have meds if she is sick....needs reg. shots, but if she ever had a chronic illness and needed expensive/ ongoing treatment we probably would not do that. (MY husband says, "it's just a cat.")
Our vet suggested making her more indoor to reduce the health hazards, and we are trying. She was pretty ticked at first and kept yowling at the door to go out.
my husband complains about vet bills too... so after going to the vet and it costing 200 i called around and asked about fees for the same service... now if go 10 miles away.. but the cost for the same stuff cost me only 70 dollars.. call around.. also when a cat or dog has stitches they will pull them out.. they need a collar around the neck.. one of those big cone like collars.. you can rent them from the vet.. also when you call the vet tell them you are on a fixed income... sometimes they will cut the bill down... good luck
First, if you can't afford to have an animal, DON'T get an animal. Animals require love and affection AND routine visits to the veterinarian for annual shots and check ups. If your cat is an outdoor cat , he WILL get into fights and often times require medical attention. A vet bill for a catfight injury that requires lancing, antibiotics and sometimes more, can be upwards of $200.00. Your husband did not agree to take in a stray cat but he's getting stuck with taking care of it. I can understand his animosity.
Are you sure you're talking about a CAT? SLEEPING with it on the sofa while your husband sleeps alone? I think you've taken on more than you can handle and definitely more than your husband is willing to handle.
My advice: get rid of the cat until you and your husband agree that you can afford one that you can choose together.
I had cats most of my life. I see that you are already down with the cat going to the vet, great. As far as the litter box thing and the meowing thing I'll tell you what I have done. I have always shown the cat the box and they just go. If the cat won't use it, for me, deal breaker, it would become an outside cat all the time after the stitches healed up. While the stitches healed up I would quarantine it to a closed off room in the house or the garage with some newspaper in a large kennel for overnight. If the kitty does start going in the box then great:) Also, some cats are finicky about the type of litter. You may want to try different kinds than what you are currently using, that could solve the problem. If you notice the cat squatting and peeing alot and not wanting to use the box, that is probably a sign that there is a urinary problem which is super common for cats, can be treated easily usually through diet, but is life threatening if left untreated. As far as the meowing at the door, I had a cat that I just loved that did this. I need my sleep. I would have let him sleep with me but he would lay on my face, so until he learned to curl up beside me he couldn't come in. Anyway, I lined shoes up beside my bed and closed my bedroom door. When he would come and start the meowing, I would toss a shoe at the door. It only took a few times for him to get the point. It didn't traumatize him or anything, he just stopped the whining! He was still a very loving animal:) Anyway, don't know if shoe therapy is for you, but it worked like a charm for me!!! Good luck!!
It's not too hard to litter train an outdoor cat. One trick that works is if you have a small bathroom or back hall (some small place where you can close the door.) Put the kitty in there with the litter box, after a day I'm sure he will get the idea. Cats prefer to go in sand/soft dirt so it's natural for them to use the litter box. I also recommend getting him tested for feline leukemia etc. Also make sure all his vaccinations are up to date.
As for hubby I'm sure he will get over it. Caring for a pet will cost money here and there. Once you get him healthy and can keep him inside you will have much less chance of him getting hurt or sick. One other tip, if you find a smaller vet clinic (not a franchise) a lot of times you will save money. We go to a country vet and they are way cheaper than the city vet and franchise vet clinics!
Good luck, hope it all works out for you!
I have been a vet tech and cat rescuer for 31 years. Did the vet test the cat for Feline Aids and Feline leukemia?. Both are not contagious to humans but they are to other cats and eventually it will take the cats life. Feline Aids causes cats to not heal or heal very slowly. Have him tested if you have not already because you are spending money on a pet that is spreading the disease to other cats that are beloved pets. He is a death sentence for other cats. He could be killing the neighborhood cats. If he has the disease and you can keep him indoors then he can live out his life. He will use the litter box I promise if you put him in a room with his litter box and food and water for a few days. You may need to start out with dirt instead of litter in the box since he is used to going outside but I am sure he will use the box. Good luck.
It sounds like this is no longer a stray. If it is neutered, why do you need to keep it indoors? Because of the scratch? Vet bills annoy me too, but it seems you have made this cat a part of your family already. I guess he will just have to deal with it.
You have already gotten a great deal of good advice. The one thing I haven't seen mentioned already is the fact that cats are highly susceptible to getting an abcessed wound if they have been in a fight. It sounds like that is what happened with your cat. More often than not, you will have to take your cat to the vet when this kind of thing happens. It's not something that can be taken care of at home. Honestly, your vet bills do not sound that bad to me. If you are going to keep the cat, then this is something that just goes with pet ownership. If you and your husband are not willing to take on this responsibility, then you need to find someone who is.
As vet bills go, it could be worse. If your cat was a stray and lived outside it may be a hard adjustment to being an indoor only cat. Growing up our cats always went out and we only had one indoor cat (she was older and we moved to a busy street). Maybe try keeping the cat in during colder weather. If you aren't sure if you want a cat (or this cat) you can try to find it a new home.
He'll get over the vet bills, thats not really as bad as it could be. Why is he being kept inside? Is it because he just got neutered. If I were you I would just put it outside, it is very difficult for any animal that has only been outdoors to be inside only. Just keep an eye on the wounds making sure they don't get infected is there anything the vet gave you to put on them? Good luck!
First off, the cat litter box, make sure you are using a non-frangranent cat litter, if the cat has been going outside,then changing his dirt to cat litter is the problem.
You may have to have the vet give you a victorian collar to keep the sticthes on the cat. which means keeping the cat indoors. If the cat senses anger towards it/s )like you husband's feelings...the cat will want to leave the house.
this sounds like a cat that likes to wander until he finds a home that he welcomed. (aren;t some people like that too). after leaving the cat to go on vacation, he probably felt lost. give the cat some extra love and tell him that your' sorry you had to leave, but back now.
good luck
Hi,
Since you took on the cat and the responsibility, you hubby will just have to get used to it being a part of the family now. If he doesn't want the responsibility, then maybe he knows someone at work or a friend who may want the cat? Good luck-- no one likes vet bills, but the cat is all yours now.
M
The local Humane Society has clinics that will treat animals for reduced costs, or possibly free. My info is probably outdated, but a friend took her cat for a similar situation (fight wounds) and only paid $10 for the vet's fee. They gave her medicine to treat it at no cost because she really couldn't afford to pay anything. The clinic was on I-10 at Durham. There's also a big clinic where they do surgeries on the South Beltway 8 freeway almost to Pasadena - Almeda Genoa exit I think.
