For the past 10+ years we have dealt with my husband's very unconventional work schedule. I'm incredibly grateful for the hard work that my husband has devoted to take care of our family, but he's been offered a job with a "normal" schedule and it's sounding more and more interesting to me. I've recently gone back to work, so i'm feeling a bit less stressed about money, so I'm trying to weighh the positives of him leaving his current job with the negatives. He has a ton of support at work and a great team that he works with. Financially, he's done quite well there. Although, over the past months, there has been a bit of a dip in his pay (it's based on commissions). Not a big deal overall, but when I think about the hours he puts in and the idea that he could work a normal schedule, it's intriguing to me. The idea of us having every weekend together sounds so comforting. I can picture us traveling together, going places, making plans with people and not needing to cancel due to our crazy schedules, etc.
My question is, has anyone's spouse ever left a job where they could potentially make a bit less $$$, but be happier because of the lifestyle? Better hours? Better days off?
My feeling is that it's time for a change. My husband sees the benefits too, but it feels a bit scary to make the move. Would love to hear your experience if you can relate.
Money is important, but it definitely isn't everything.
To me time is way more important than money. I only need enough money to be comfortable, but there never seems to be enough time to do everything I want to do.
My husband left his job to take one that was less stressful and paid something like 20K less. The new job suited him better and he was happy with his decision.
Both of us did when we had DS. We both agreed that working 70+ hours would not be fair to a child so we gave it up. We each went to a four day week so we each had a day alone with DS until he went to school and every weekend as a family. Since we own our own business, yes this had financial repercussions but I was not going to have a child that was asleep before his parents came home from work every day.
I think this is your husbands decision to make.
tough call, but so great there's an option here!
i've often told my dh that i'd be fully supportive of him making less if it cut down on his commute. it's brutal.
the flip side is that he'd have a very, very hard time making anywhere close to what he makes anywhere else (it's a unique situation, and since neither one of us has a degree and we're getting older, we're not very marketable these days, even with his wealth of experience.) also, despite the killer commute and the stress that comes with his level of responsibilities, he's really really good at what he does and loves it.
and one of the weird side benefits to it is that he goes to bed super-early during the week to be ready for his morning commute, so i've become very accustomed to having hours of glorious blissful solitude during the week. i'm not *alone*, just by myself, and i've come to crave it. to the point that when we have an extended houseguest, as we do right now, i feel very put upon at not being left to myself in the long summer eves. (FWP, i know.)
so bear in mind that even in a good marriage, when you're used to doing things on a wonky schedule, all that togetherness could grate a little!
but the pluses to this sound as if they outweigh the potential negatives.
i'd start with a really detailed budget, and go from there.
good luck! let us know how it works out!
khairete
S.
It might be a great opportunity.
Still - it's been 10 years that he's been on this schedule.
It might be quite an adjustment for him to make to switch to something more normal.
It's not just about the difference in pay - people get use to a work environment (even if they complain about it sometimes).
For some people - sitting at a desk is doable on odd hours but if they have to commute in the regular rush hours (morning and evening), be there 8am to 5pm, move with the herd (lunch at the same time) - for some people it just doesn't work.
Also - although some jobs are SUPPOSE to be 'regular hours' - depending on the job - unpaid overtime, working late, being on call on weekends - sometimes 'regular' is not always as advertised in the job description.
Is a flex schedule possible (4 days at 10 hrs per day so he has Fri to Sun or Sat to Mon off)?
I went to a 4 day 30 hr work week (7.5 hrs per day) and it was wonderful!
Your husband has a lot to think about.
A change might be a good thing!
Take the job that'll make you happier, no question. Money can buy peace of mind, but a miserable job can undo any of that. My husband's struggling with his job right now and we're looking for other options even though he's well-regarded where he's at.
Your family happiness is most important!
My husband is the type that definitely puts family first. So he left a small paying job for a larger paying job with a two hour one way commute.
When this commute began to wear on him and the job began to get increasingly impossible he looked and found the job he has now which has an hour commute via public transportation instead of him driving.
Ultimately it was my husbands choice and I supported his choice. The pay and benefits package for the new job sets him above what he was getting paid at the long commute job without the wear and tear on him and our truck.
We have been in this situation also. We chose to make a bit less at the time and have more time together (and move to a new state). Never regretted it for a second.
The easy thing to do is keep it the way it is..change is out of the comfort zone. But it can be so worth it if you're both on board, and frankly, quite an exciting adventure. Good luck!
We've gone through a ton of crazy work schedules over the years and when it has been possible we've chosen quality of life & quantity of time together over money. We were unable to do that for years with the military and perhaps that has colored our choices once our service time was completed. Just last year my husband accepted a position that was a cut in pay but is in an area that has a slower pace of life and a schedule that will allow more time together. The bonus is that he loves his new job and truly enjoys what he does & the people he works with. For our family that has been the best option - hoping you guys find what works best for you!
I did it. I went from a very full time job with lots of travel to a part time job at 1/3 the pay. It has been wonderful! They ask me to go full time on a regular basis but I keep saying no...it has been since 2007!
I am making more now (also commissions) but still only about 1/2 what I was making ---on the other hand, costs are much lower since I am home.
As another poster said "It's his decision". I would leave it up to him.
I agree time is more valuable than money. Especially if financially, it will not adversely affect your way of life, which it what it sounds like the case is here. So that would be my choice, assuming my husband was excited about the new job prospect.
I have two friends who have husbands in the auto sales industry. Both hubby's work crazy hours and they never have time off. Both families tried other jobs. Neither family could get used to the new schedule and new freedoms. The husbands were bored. And the wives said they couldn't get used to them always being around. It changed their family dynamic. The wives couldn't do things the way they had always done it, because the husbands had issues with it. It made both relationships combative. So both husbands went back to their crazy hours and both wives claim to be MUCH happier. Just food for thought!
Personally, I haven't had this situation but it seems like a good trade. Change is usually scary but it sounds like it would be good for everyone.
What's the old saying... You're never going to sit on your deathbed and think, wow, I wish I spent more hours working.
A small cut in pay is priceless in time spent with family. I'd go for it.
We have turned down more $$$. We haven't left jobs, but definitely have thought hard about promotions or transfers, and turned them down in favor of quality time with our family.
For us it was a no brainer. Definitely worth considering, but in the end, we'd rather spend our time with our kids.
I think you should make a solid, realistic budget that includes all your expenses, including commuting expenses and any amount you put into savings. Then see how the change in income compares with your projected expenses.
The extra time with family sounds great, but since your HD is nervous about the pay cut, address that head on with solid numbers and see if that makes you both more comfortable with the change or even more nervous.
My husband has stayed at his job rather then take opportunities that would have equaled more money due to them also having more work hours or odd work ours. For us his time with us is way more important then a few extra dollars in our account. We always try to error on the side of family over money.
My husband hasn't but I did. And that was seven years ago. I am closer to my job, i can wear what I want, I have insurance and I wake up liking what I do, however there is no perfect job-I did the math in my head and since I don't have to drive far I don't spend a lot on gas or maintenance on car. I don't have to buy expensive clothing and I have days off that are so family workable. So paywise, I may make less on a check, but have about the same equal weight as someone who drives far, wears expensive clothing, has to have lunch out with someone every day -I bring mine. And I like this life
If you don't mind working then don't worry about this so much. Tell him you are going to leave it to him and see what happens. Too bad he can't work both for a while to see how it goes.
But if you continue working you'll at least have that cushion.
It sounds like a great opportunity. If he has a commission based salary now, what is the new job? You say that his pay has decreased recently. When you take that into account, how much less would he really be making? If you can still live relatively comfortably wit the new job, I think that I would encourage him to take the new job.
My husband changed from a hetic job to a much less stressful one. The pay was not much of an increase but lifestyle wise it made a huge difference. Even now our jobs allow more flexibility as we are further into our career which can be good and bad. Having a schedule though where the family can be together is alot nice and much less stress on each parent.
