My husband worked for the same company for 23 1/2 years. He came home early Saturday and told me that his past cought up with him. He got in trouble for something that he had done in 2008. The did a sweep of the computer system and there was stuff on there that was how can I put it not work related. And they said they have a no talarence policy. What I don't understand is how they can come in three years after something happend and fire someone. I know what he did was wrong and when I found out he had done it back then I went off on him. I just am not sure what to do. He has never even tired to find a different job this is the only place he had ever worked for. I know there are lots of people out there out of work I just am worried he will have a heard time finding something and my paycheck can't even pay half the bills. I am about to pull my hair out.
We Don't know yet if he will be able to collect unemployment. They did just find this and his district mgr said because of their no talarence policy it was out of his hands. I knew about some of it because I found stuff he had brought home and tried to hide it but I am a good snooper. I know he did wrong and it's not the companys fault but to me they should have some consideration of how long ago it was and that it has not been in the last few years. He worked for a grocery store.
Well today he is going to the unemployment office to see what he can find out there. We have his resume done and ready to send out anywhere. And I am at the point that I know he and I can work through this. I love him very much and know I am in no way perfect. I am going to talk to him about possibly going back to school. Unfortunatly I don't know if he would qualify for any grants or anything to generate extra money but I work for a University and his tution would be free. So will encurage him to work on his degree. We even have classes that are online so he can do them even if he does get a job that would conflict with his schooling. Not sure what he will think about that. We shall see. Only God knows. I also will be talking to our pastor and seeing if there is someone that we can get with that can help with this stressing time as I tend to have a short fuze as it is but when I am stressed it's even worst. So my praier is that I will not bit my son's heads off dayley. They are 13 and 9.
Have they said if they are going to allow him to collect unemployment? Firing for cause you don't get unemployment but some employers will allow you to claim anyway. It is usually in cases where they want to downsize and they find reasons to fire people.
He may want to look into that.
Your husband needs lots and lots of encouragement from you. Men often measure their worth by their work, just as women often do by their relationships. You all had it out years ago about his past trouble; now it's time for you to stand together as a team.
Try not to play what-iffies in your brain. Your husband is definitely not the first person this has happened to. Encourage him to talk to someone he knows well about what to do next and how to go about looking for another job. Do you go to church? Perhaps there is someone who can counsel him there. He will need to investigate what to do about health insurance until he finds work, and perhaps what to do about some of the bills. That, I think, is probably the place to start.
Yes, many companies will do that. They'd rather get rid of people for past indiscretions than have those indiscretions come out in the form of bad publicity. In this Internet age there is little that can be hidden. It's just something everyone needs to learn.
When some companies need to down size, of course they first start with job performance, then if they need more people to let go or fire.. so they do not have to pay benefits, they will inquire about their behaviors towards work policies..
Also IF someone reported this, that may have lead to them looking into these allegations. Once they found out they were true, They then had the right to fire him.
Your husband needs to not miss a step and today, sit down and write out a resume and start looking for a new job.
Do not add to his guilt and fears. Be as supportive as possible that he will find a new job. Be positive that he is not doomed. That he is a good worker.
This is a blow, but who knows, he very possibly be so qualified at what he does, another company will snap him up.
What we need to know is from moms out there.. How should her husband answer the question, why were you let go by this company you had worked for? What is the honest, but acceptable answer?
I know it's difficult to go through major changes like this. We've been through our share. People have no-tolerance policies. BUT God forgives. I hope the two of you know the Lord. If he will repent and ask the Lord to work this out, he will bring him another job. He could look around and see if there are any of those mid-life training programs that help people of an older age to re-train. Stay tough. You will get through this.
I'm a little confused. So, I'm going to answer this two ways.
If they just found the information then yes, they had every right to fire him. He violated company policy. No one did this but him so he is responsible.
Now, if they knew about this three years ago and didn't do anything about it or maybe told him not to do it again I'm thinking that he did not take them seriously and perhaps the company found additional new information on the computer. Again, no one made him do this. He did it all on his own.
He is the one who put your family in this situation not the company. I'm utterly amazed that some comments on here seem to be blaming the company!
Yes, he worked for them for 23.5 years. I'm sure the decision to terminate a long term employee was not easy! It NEVER is. However, sugar coating this and saying "oh poor husband" is something I just can't get behind.
When applying for positions, your husband former company should only give dates and salary information. They cannot say "he was a terrible employee". They cannot prevent him from getting employment. Our company policy is dates and that is it. I won't go into salary, reasons nothing. It is just good business sense. What he can say to potential employers is that he was "downsized" and leave it at that. I wouln't volunteer the information as to why he was terminated.
Has your husband received help for whatever he had on the computer? If not, he needs to. I hope you both sat down and discussed this together. He has put your family in a terrible situation and I'm sure you are angry. Have you spoken to anyone regarding your feelings? You might need to because the desire to blame him will be great, especially when money gets thin.
I would not depend on unemployment. He should file for it but the company may fight him on it. Also, have you received informtion regarding COBRA? If not, you should so keep an eye out for it.
I am sorry that you are in this situation. Its not going to be easy. Hopefully he has learned his lesson and won't put his family in this type of situation again.
I'm sorry you are in this situation. It sucks.
They just discovered his indiscretion so that is why they took action now. Had they discovered it three years ago, he would have been fired then.
Is there someone at the company that your husband can use as a reference? Someone who will mention his 23 years of work experience and dedication but maybe not mention anything else?
You don't mention what it is that your husband does but some fields are actively hiring. He also might have to think about switching to an entirely different career and just take whatever he can get. And you might have to consider getting a different, higher paying job as well, if possible.
Best of luck.
Well, I could be wrong, but I'm guessing they found something more recent than 3 years ago.
You don't say what type of material they found, so it's possible it was that long ago and so inappropriate that they decided it would be best, as far as their liability in some way, to terminate him.
All I know is that every job I have had has a zero tolerance policy for using company equipment for personal purposes. Period. Not even on our breaks. I have never been tempted to do anything personal at work that would jeopardize my employment. Frankly, I've been surprised at the number of moms who say they are on Mamapedia at work. No one where I've ever worked has time for that and plus, it's a terminable offense.
I don't know what your husband's position at the grocery store was, but I know people who've worked in grocery stores since they graduated high school. I know people who work in the pharmacy of grocery stores. You simply do not just surf around on the computers. You don't check your personal e-mail while placing produce orders and you don't google sales on flat screen TV's in between filling prescriptions.
This is very upsetting and you have every right to be freaked out about it. However, I think your husband should really talk to his district manager about damage control as far as giving him a decent reference that focuses on his many years of service to the company. Not knowing what he did exactly, I would hope that they would be willing to do that.
As far as unemployment, his employer can fight it. To receive unemployment, you are supposed to have lost your job "through no fault of your own".
Being in direct violation of company policy could make him ineligible if his employer states the reason for his termination. The only thing he might have in his favor is that it truly DID happen 3 years ago and they have NO proof that it's happened since.
I work in HR. We are very careful about wrongful termination, etc.
Your husband's employer was either coming up with an excuse to get rid of him, or I hate to say it, they found something more recent than you're aware of. If he's had zero policy violations in 3 years, I don't see why they would use that as an excuse out of the blue to terminate someone after that many years.
I wish you the very best and I hope I'm wrong that they found something more recent.
He lost his job. These things happen to people who have never done anything wrong so he just needs to get busy looking for another position, talking about damage control and putting a spin of some kind on it so he can get another job.
He certainly had longevity going for him so that's a plus.
No offense for anything I've said and I hope it all works out.
I am going to go to a different place.
If he is still young enough to work for many more years then he may be able to succeed at going to school. Grocery store income can't be great. I would imagine he didn't make $20 per hour and that he is not the only worker in the home.
If that is wrong then I apologize.
If he started at a Jr. College level he could still work part time if he wanted to and still get full financial aid. With a wife and children I can't imagine the family income being so great that he would not qualify.
If he is a good student and can compete with the world of 18-22 year olds for grades then he could start right out at a local University. I got almost straight "A"'s at jr college and got a full scholarship to OU in Norman Oklahoma, I hated it and transferred to OSU in Stillwater very soon afterwards. By this time I had been injured and could not play softball anymore so education was 100% of the reason I was going.
I still made really good grades because I took the classes my way. 2-3 core classes then tennis, weight lifting, country and western dance, ballroom dance, aerobics, good life cooking classes, piano for adults, voice, choir, all kinds of extra classes so they would be the easy "A" and bring my GPA up each and every semester. I also did much better having only 2-3 topics to study for.
My first year at OSU with all my income put together, food stamps, WIC, TANF, low income housing, etc...plus my FA package my income, mine alone was over $25,000 that year. I did not need to work. I think if you were willing to make some sacrifices so he can get a better education for a more fulfilling career than it would be very much worth it.
First off, I'm truly sorry that you're dealing with this. I'm sure it's a major blow to both of you and that is a long time to work for one company. It sounds like your husband has good work ethic and hopefully will find something soon.
I do agree with Yarrmatey, however, that if they just found it then yes they still have to take action, but to me part of the story seems missing...I mean, why is this info still on his computer if it's been sitting dormant for 4 years? Why didn't he erase it? Was there newer/more recent or even current material on there that maybe he didn't tell you about? How did you find about it in 2008 but the company didn't? Maybe you are intentionally leaving parts out and that's okay, but just make sure you have the whole story is all I'm saying.
Good luck and I hope he finds something soon, it will work out!
Well I don't have a husband that did something (that sounds very inappropriate) at work to get fired...but my husband was terminated from a job 3 years ago...since then he has found another one in a different state but we are very happy with the change. It was hard at the time and stressful but it is over with..
Remember that you have to be there for each other, blaming, getting mad, angry etc is not going to do any of you good.
I knew that after he lost his job that I would have to do the job hunt...if I hadn't he wouldn't be working today...sounds like you have a little extra on your plate right now but push through it!
Quite simple... they own the computers, internet, files, etc. I'm guessing that your husband was on a few "inappropriate" websites at work and downloaded (I really hope not) a few "items".
Bottom line, what he did was wrong. They have the right to "sweep" their server at any time and they did. If there is pornography on a work computer or anything else inappropriate, they have the right (and responsibility) to fire the person who broke their policy.
Time for him to own his mistakes and call the employer about a letter of reference that indicates what he contributed to the company, not what he did to get fired. If they valued him as an employee, they will do this for him. Get the resume together and start applying for anything and everything related to his field. If nothing comes up, he'll need to get a part-time job somewhere random to make money.
He can apply for unemployment so that will help with the bills. As far as a no tolerance policy he has to have something very wrong to get fired over it. Take heart that you are in TX where the recession isn't as bad as other parts of the country.
Is this something he should be in couseling for? As long as he now has time off maybe he should get into counseling and straighten himself out.
The same thing happened to a nephew-in-law. He eventually found another job. I hope your husband has not continued this activity, but be watchful and consider putting Cybersitter or some other program on your computer to monitor this sort of stuff. It can run deep and do tremendous damage to everyone if it continues.
I am so sorry.
I would think that after 23.5 working on this company they would let go of that.
Obviously he was a good worker other way they would have fire him a long time ago.
I think that the fact that he worked in a company for so long would benefit him on finding a new job.
Yes, there are many people looking for job (unfortunately) but not all have the experience your husband has, that is a big point on his favor.
I think he will really need your support, let for later (if needed) the talk about the stuff on the computer and the consequent, right now you need each other support.
Good luck
