Husband Says "ABSOLUTELY NO PETS!!"

I don't think it's EVER a good idea to make a decision like this knowing full well how your husband feels. Even if he does sound like a controlling pr!ck. In the other instances, having a baby and inheriting a cat, those were things that "happened" and you dealt with them and were happy with the results. This is different... this is choosing to make a 20-year commitment (since many cats live that long) for a pet that you know your husband is opposed to. That's just not right.

We have a beautiful 9 month old cat, which my children and I discussed with him repeatedly. He agreed at the time that he was ready. I'd love to add another cat to the family, but he's vehemently opposed. We discuss it, and I tell him that he doesn't have to speak at all, just listen, and let him know that it's important to us. But I will NOT go behind his back and "just do it."

Hi L.,
From the way you describe things, it sounds to me like you would benefit from couples counseling a lot more than getting a cat, and so would your kids. Blatantly going against what your husband wants is only going to create more tension, not less, whether his behavior is justified or not.

L.,
This sure sounds like he wants total control and he wants to make ALL the decisions. Sorry, but he also sounds like a spoiled brat and not a mature adult. He needs to grow up!
Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. Counseling is absolutely needed, not so much about getting a pet, but more about the sharing necessary in order to have a healthy relationship and marriage.
For now, put getting a cat aside and approach him about getting some help. Marriage shouldn't be about "battles" and winning or losing. That sounds more like all out war.
You should be a part of all decision making and feel that your opinions count and matter as much as his. Work on getting him to agree to go to counseling.

Sorry if it seems that I'm overstepping my place, but this seems like it's about way more than just getting a cat. I recommend couples counseling - if yo feel like you're being bossed around all the time and your feelings aren't being respected, there's a problem that should be resolved.

Hi L.!!If I were you I would adopt an adult cat from a shelter so it will already be "trained"and maybe your husband can try to see the good side,you saved a cat that needed a nice home!!Tell him he doesnt have to do a thing for it!!Look at it this way,he didnt seem too happy w/the baby and now look at him,he adores his babe!!So maybe he will "adore" the cat!!Life is too short just do it!!!!!!

I'd get one anyway. Just bring it home. When he complains tell him that he isn't the only one living in this house and he was over-ruled. Tell him to put on his big boy pants and suck it up. He won't have to do anything. If he doesn't like it he can sleep in the dog house.

L.,
I tend to agree that you shouldn't make a decision of this nature without reaching some common ground with your husband. It sounds as if there is already a lot of tension in your marriage and why deliberately do something that will only add to the tension? As another writer pointed out, it sounds like there is a lot more going on than the decision to get another pet or not. You don't say why your husband doesn't want another pet; it sounds as if both of you feel like you're not being heard by one another. If you two are going to have a discussion about whether or not it's the right time to get another pet, try to refrain from introducing other issues into the discussion. Hear him and ask him to hear you. Perhaps once you reach a common understanding on this issue, it will give you momentum to approach other issues in the same fashion. Good luck.

I agree with some of the other posts that you should NOT just do it... It's not going to help your marriage, only make it worse.
Please PLEASE ignore some of the foolish and childish advice (no offense, ladies) you have gotten to just "stick it to him" and do what you want anyway. You're better off to just let it go.