Husband Theory of Kissing Our Baby..

Updated on October 05, 2010
K.K. asks from San Diego, CA
49 answers

Hi Moms, so i had my ten month old on my lap and i grabbed my iced tea and drank from my cup, baby saw me and craved it. So then i kissed him on his lips... i kept giving him pecks because i knew he would taste the tea from my lips. My husband saw and called me gross, he told me not to do it again because it will become a habit and it will eventually get a little weird as he gets older. I clearly told him why i did it and besides, its something i wouldn't do as he gets older. Was he over reacting or is it perfectly normal to kiss baby on the lips. I then made a comment about if he would like to monitor me while i bathe him, which i was totally being sarcastic, but seriously?? I don't find it weird at all.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I kiss all of my kids on the lips all of the time (ages 2-7). I don't think it is weird at all. My husband does it, as well.

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

He's totally over reacting!!I I kissed my kid's on the lips when they were babies and most people I know did it as well. I just visited a cousin in NY and her 8 year old daughter gave me a kiss on the lips goodbye kiss.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

there is nothing wrong with it. I still kiss my 5 and 3 year old on the lips. It's all totally innocent. we are a very affectionate family

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T.S.

answers from Eugene on

It is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL to kiss your beautiful baby on the mouth! He loves you and will adore that closeness...and your love for him is wonderful. And it is also ABSOLUTELY NORMAL for mothers of many species, including ours, to offer tastes of food or drink that way.

You enjoy that beautiful baby's open mouthed kisses for as long as he will give them to you. It will never progress to the point where it is "weird", because believe me, all too soon, there will come a time when even a hug will become "embarrassing".

Your husband is the one who has some issues and is "weird". There is nothing sexual about a kiss to a baby. At least not for you...what's up with your husband?

4 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Birmingham on

It's totally normal. Your hubby is tripping. I kiss my two year old all the time (all day long infact). The only reason why I don't kiss my 7 year old on the lips is because he won't allow me anymore.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

You do whatever you want to love that baby up!

4 moms found this helpful

G.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Possible insight: My husband FREQUENTLY reminds me that men are geared more toward thinking about the distant future and women are better with the here and now. Perhaps your hubby, like mine (since he too has given me the "don't kiss the babies on the lips" speech) envisions a strapping, teen boy kissing his mom on the mouth and thinking nothing of it, while anyone unlucky enough to see it shudders in disgust.
Keep kissing your children and keep washing his privates, too, for that matter! LOL! The time will come when it is appropriate to change the way things are done and you will. You've got YEARS AND YEARS to make these adjustments.

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

It's so funny that you ask this, since I just read an article on this a few days ago: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/09/21/tf.parents.kiss.chil...

The article is actually kind of dumb, but the comments for the article are good, and if you show it to your husband, might make him realize that he is crazy.

It really depends if it is ok based on how you were raised and what you find socially acceptable. I don't do it, but I don't think it is weird that others do it.

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's TOTALLY fine!

I give kisses to both my boys, on the lips...one is five, the other is two. We'll probably try and move the five year old to kisses on the cheek soon, but there's nothing wrong with a little peck on the lips!

On your side!

-M

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Oh Lord, hubby needs to chill out - your baby is just that, A BABY! He's not going to end up all warped because his mommy kisses him on the lips. Actually, that was how my daughter ended up learning and starting to kiss. I would kiss her all the time as a baby but she wasn't trying to kiss herself like some babies would at that age. But I didn't really kiss her on the mouth for whatever reason and a friend suggested I start doing that and pretty soon she got the idea. She is now 3 and she still mouth kisses me and my husband but her lips are barely puckered. Obviously as he gets older he's not going to be kissing his dad on the mouth and he may not want to kiss you on the mouth either because he will naturally start to find it gross and uncomfortable but until then, don't worry about it. And tell hubby not to worry about it either.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Kissing your baby on the lips is very normal. I even see mother's kissing sons, with a quick peck, on the lips when their son is an adult. This doesn't happen so much during the teen years because the boy is confused enough about sexuality without the kiss on the lips. And fathers giving daughters a peck on the lips. Not long kisses to be sure.

My family, when I was growing up tended to think kissing on the lips was sexual at any age and so didn't kiss us on the lips. But then my parents only gave each other pecks on the lips for themselves. My parents were overly concerned about sex and taught us children that even kissing was to be reserved for a relationship in which we intended to marry.

Perhaps it would help if you discussed your husbands views on sexuality in general. Is he comfortable with being a sexual person or is sex something to be hidden and denied? Has there been an incident in his family that caused them to be especially sensitive to sexual issues?

Just as there are many different kinds of love, there are many different kinds of kisses. Yes, a kiss on the baby's lips can be a sexual kiss. Is he afraid that he will have sexual feelings?

One of the things I discovered as I raised my daughter was that I did have what could be called sexual feelings while holding her. Cuddling feels warm and good. IF I were cuddling with a man I could go the next step into sex. But I was cuddling with a child. My mind didn't take the next step. I suspect that some child molesters do not choose to stop with the warm feeling.

I suggest that you might want to not kiss a son on the lips when they begin to be aware of their bodies in a sexual way. However, it depends on the family, the son, and how comfortable they are with showing affection in this way.

By the way, in a few families, parents of the opposite sex child do not change diapers or give baths because of possible sexual innuendo. My father wouldn't let me sit on his lap once I was in school.

Kissing your baby on the lips is normal and accepted in today's world. Having him taste your tea in that way makes me smile.

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R.S.

answers from New York on

I USED to think it was weird for parents to kiss their children on the lips...until I had my own little one. One day, out of nowhere, he reached over and kissed me on MY lips, and my heart melted. So, of course, now I think it is the most loving thing you can do with your child. I say to each his own. If your husband finds it weird or gross, then tell HIM not to do it! As for your, it's your kid, do what makes you feel most comfortable.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your guy needs to chill out. I kiss my baby on the lips all the time. I buy this snapple tea i'm addicted too, and she loves it. So when I drink it from the can, I leave a little on the lip of it so she can taste it but not really drink it. Technically it's "backwash" but whatever, I eat her slobbery cherrios she shoves in my face. =)
On a side note, my boyfriend kisses our daughter on the lips too. Thats daddy's girl, and she adores him. She would get angry if he didn't kiss her.

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S.F.

answers from Reno on

Totally normal. What is strange, however, is your husband's (over)reaction. Trust me, I have two sons (12 and 16) and they won't kiss me on the mouth anymore. They outgrow it at some point, so why rush it?

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, There is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing your baby on the lips. I kissed all four of my kids that way and do the same with my grandkids. I was recently visiting family in another state and saw my brother (who takes care of all of my Dad's needs) kiss my Dad on the lips. There is nothing sexual about it.
Good luck with your precious baby.
K. K.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

You're normal. Hubby is being ridiculous!

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L.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Not weird but frowned upon. Studies have shown the oral bacteria that makes cavities/gum disease usually come from kissing and shareing food. If you have issues with your own tooth health then I suggest you stop. I also suggest a pediatric dentist if you have more questions.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

My 11 year old still gives both parents kisses on the lips. I have several friends of both genders, married and single, who routinely kiss people hello and goodbye on the lips. On the other hand, I know people who believe that any lip contact is strictly sexual and should only be with your spouse. It's all a matter of personal taste. Nobody is "right" or "wrong." Your husband probably objected to the fact that it was several kisses in a row, probably accompanied by "yummy" noises. Don't let it become a big deal that makes everyone unhappy.

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D.V.

answers from San Francisco on

just my 2 cents- I have a 7 year old step son and a 1 year old son and my husband and I kiss both of them on the lips. My Step son's Mom see's both of us do it and thinks nothing of it. Kissing/hugging shows love- and people make a big deal out of NOTHING. My baby is learning how to kiss and kisses with his mouth open- which isn't fun lol.. but he now knows at 1 year old a kiss means affection. Love your baby just the way you are!

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hubby is overreacting.

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S.W.

answers from Phoenix on

I agree with the above posters. He is overreacting. I kiss both my boys all over their face, lips, cheeks, neck, etc. All in a playful mode (sometimes while making "munching" noises, acting like I'm eating them) they just giggle and laugh. They turn around and start tickling me back! It's all a tickling game we do.

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

It's totally normal. I kiss all of my kids on the lips sometimes. There will come a day when you'll stop, you'll know when it's right for you and your kids. I don't think there's a magic age. Just when it makes either you or your kid uncomfortable. Kiss away!

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J.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

No that was not weird! Your baby is lucky to have a mommy who loves him so much!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

It's your baby, I kissed mine on the lips sometimes as baby's I have 2 sons and a daughter, my husband still kisses our daughter on the cheek and she is 21. Lips as baby's I see nothing wrong with it. Oh and baby's love ice tea. J.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

my kid's 3 1/2 and we kiss on the lips all the time.

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K.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing your children. My sisters and I still kiss our parents on the lips and we are all in our 30's. It is the family outside of the immediate household that get the kiss on the cheek. Get all the love and affection from your baby that you can, because in about 10 years or so it is going to be much less frequent. My son is 3 1/2 and he loves climbing up and giving me kisses and hugs. I soak it in all I can. As for the "oral bacteria", you are not swapping spit with your child. I think it is nothing you need to worry about. There can never be anything wrong with love and affection between a parent and a child. Where do we think they learn how to be loving and affectionate? Tell your husband to chill and loosen up.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Overreacting, baby and toddler kisses are so adorable!. I actually think the letting the baby taste the tea thing is the grossest part of it all!

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

He is absolutely over reacting. Both my husband and I kissed my daughter on the lips until she was about 3 1/2 and didn't want that anymore. She now offers us her cheek to kiss which is fine as well. I never had thought anything was wrong with it and never had anyone react strongly against it. Enjoy your babies kisses as long as you can. It ends all too soon!

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L.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think kissing babies, toddlers or little kids is wierd at all. Now if you're still planting kisses on his mouth when he's driving away to college...maybe a little wierd...but a baby is so kissable how could you not? I think your husband probably has a mom who kissed him when he was too old and it embarrassed him and he doesn't want your son to be embarrassed, but you're a long ways away from that, trust me.

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B.I.

answers from Wichita on

He's a guy! Totally over reacting! You kiss that cute little baby of your's ALMOST anywhere YOU LIKE! =D LOL

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Dont worry there is nothing worng with it. I kiss my daughter on the lips, I kiss my dad on the lips. My daughter does the same with my dad and my mom. Some men are just like that. Her dad is the same way, no kissing on the lips. We've got in to some big fights about it. (where he has called the cops on me bout this and had the C.P.S on me) they told him the same thing there is nother wrong with. Tell him to get over it.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i dont find it odd at all. its an affectionate thing not a sexual thing. plus when your child gets older he will say mom please dont kiss me infront of my friends etc. your just fine he just sees things different and thats ok. everyone has there own thoughts and such. dont let it bother you you are just fine

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Wow, your husband sounds like HE has issues. Babies naturally love to kiss their parents on the lips.. Is your husband going to turn away from his child wanting to kiss him on the lips?

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

TOTALLY normal!! All kids kiss on the lips when they are little and it's completely fine. Now if they are 16 it would be different. Tell him to chill out and that it's normal!!!!

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't find kissing your child on the lips to be odd at all. I kiss my daughter (5 years) on the lips all the time.

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

The only thing wrong about kissiing a children on the mouth is you might sred germs from on person to another so it might be a good idea toe kiss on the cheek but lots of hugs raised 4 and now have7 grandchildren A. no hills

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

over reaction. Your husband needs to get over it.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

not weird at all.

While I kissed mine on the lips when they were little, I kiss them on the cheek now, sometimes my littlest on the lips. I personally don't like to kiss anyone on the lips, I had an uncle who loved to kiss on the lips,, bugged me. I think it's just a matter of preference.

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M.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am going to buck the trend and say I don't like to kiss on the lips, not my kids anyway, I would have just given him a sip from the cup, or got a straw - I wouldn't say it was gross, men are just silly!

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

The only thing wrong about kissiing a children on the mouth is you might sred germs from on person to another so it might be a good idea toe kiss on the cheek but lots of hugs raised 4 and now have7 grandchildren A. no hills

1 mom found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I actually agree with your hubby! I save my kisses on the lips for my husband. I know that a lot of you feel that it is natural to kiss your children on the lips when they are smaller, but I do not agree.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well how did your Husband grow up? What his family affectionate or not?

I would hope, your Husband is comforting and affectionate with his son.
It is important for 'bonding' as well.... between parent and child. And per age appropriateness.

BUT... I would not want strangers or other people kissing my kids on the lips... because of germs or transmission of colds and other contagions.

Me and my Husband kiss our kids on the lips.

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P.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear Krys K.
I feel your husband is right,You know in south they don't even kiss the child on the cheeks as they believe the baby could catch infection so they touch the cheeks and kiss their own hands.Secondly lips kissing is only for lovers & partners the childeren should know what is wrong and what is right.

Then it is up to you.
Bye
P.

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L.S.

answers from Omaha on

Baby kisses are the most precious things in the world. I think your husband is overreacting to what is a very sweet gesture toward your child. I kiss my daughter on the lips and so does my husband. I think you're perfectly fine - keep showing affection. Kids need to know how much they're loved!

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R.W.

answers from New York on

Your husband has a problem and needs to deal with his own insecurities. I have a 5 year old daughter and we kiss on the lips all the time. It is only "ugly" if you make it seem that way.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I still kiss my 5 year old on the mouth! There is nothing gross about it, it is a mother kissing her child. Shame on anyone who tries to make it seem like something dirty!

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F.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Your husband is way out of line, first of all you are that childs mother and you gave him life!!!! For your husband to even think of such a thing makes me wonder what's his agenda? How can kissing your child on the lips be weird in any way is beyond me, this world has truly gotten out of hand when we start questioning kissing our own children. Believe me when your son is like 12 he will tell you kissing him is not cool because he's a big boy now so enjoy it while you can and tell your husband to bug off!!!!!!!!!!

K.C.

answers from Orlando on

There is nothing better than a slobbery toddler kiss! haha It is how little ones show affection and how we show to them. My husband gets weirded out by some things with our 19 month old daughter, like he will no longer wear only boxers around the house, etc. But kisses melt his heart every time. Our little one LOVES giving kisses, she gets mad when (close) friends of ours turn their heads to offer their cheeks instead of lips. It is really cute. We let her kiss all immediate family on the lips, she's just a baby and learning how to give affection. I can't imagine not wanting to kiss the little one. :)

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

In our family - we all kiss on the lips. I also think it was how you are raised. My husbands family only "side hugs" and my whole family kisses on the lips. Me and my husband both kiss our 1 year old son on the lips.

I guess to each his own.

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