Husband Upset About Pregnancy

Just that remember that things happen for a reason, when they do. It's perfectly normal to be anxious and scared--if you weren't THEN there would be something wrong with both of you. Just embrace it and enjoy it!

L., being scared is normal. I got pregnant with my 2nd baby when my first one turn 1 year old. But, it's been the best thing ever. It was hard at first, but I think it's a blessing that your babies will have each other growing up. They'll be great friends as they are close in age. Don't worry too much. Just enjoy every minute of the pregnancy and your baby. Acknowledge your feelings but then also think of the great things. A lot of my friends are not able to even get pregnant and so consider yours a blessing. Take care and enjoy!

maybe you should join babyzone.com ..find your due date club so u can be w/ other moms that are at the same stage of pregnancy that you are..there are a lot of mom's on baby #2 so it might be a good support system for you...i would be scared too..only normal..but from what i've seen most moms have an easier time w/ baby #2
good luck and CONGRATS!!! sounds like it was meant to be*

I felt overwhelmed by my second pregnancy too especially since I had a 1 year old already. I felt like I didn't want to go through that hard first year all over again and it seemed harder with a toddler. My second baby is now 17 months and I have loved every moment with him. With my first baby I always had to play and entertain her but now they play with eachother all the time. It 's wonderful watching then interact together and they love eachother so much. Of course there are the moments of learning how to share but kids have to learn that anyway!
Your husband must be feeling really overwhelmed by the responsibility of another child. I think it's important to remind him that you are feeling the same and you could really use his support. You BOTH need to listen and support one another.

It's understandable to be scared to go through that first year again. Especially if you are breastfeeding that whole year. But, you and your husband have some time to get ready. Also, all of my friends who have at least two, say that it's so much easier caring for a newborn the second time around. It's actually the older child that's harder to care for.

Also, remember that babies are blessings from God. Just be thankful that you had no problem getting pregnant. Think about just how your little one is truly a miracle.

My best to you!
M.

second one is so much easier don't worry

Hi L.,

I know that you are feeling scared and anxious, and considering that it was a surprise it is a normal reaction. I was in exactly the same predicament. I had a 16 months old son, when I found out that I was pregnant. My husband went through the roof!!! He was saying that he was too old to have another child and that there was no way that he could handle another baby. I am ashmed to admit that I almost terminated my pregnancy, BUT thankfully he had a change of heart at the last minute. IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!!! Things were a little tough at the beginning, but then as toddlers and from then on kids have a lot of things in common, and believe me that IT DOES get easier on you in so many aspects. Your child will always have a playmate and a friend. I now have a fifteen years old son and a thirteen years old beautiful daugher. Good Luck to you, things will work you, I promise.

my husband was the same, he got fixed after the 3rd! He is (for the most part) a loving father but it took some time for him to get used to the idea. everyone is different. I would def. look into family therapy.

good luck
S.

L., it's a tough situation to be in, especially if you want the 2nd child and he doesn't...and it sounds like it was an unplanned pregnancy. Remember you have options. Having another child (any child for that matter) is more or less of a struggle depending on a number of factors, and the answer is different for everyone. Someone once explained her decision to limit her family size as a matter of resources - she felt she needed to have availability in 3 resource categories, and I think it went something like: 1. emotional, 2. spiritual and 3. financial/logistical - and she felt maxed out in all 3 categories. You are in the driver's seat and I would suggest that you make the decision about how to proceed with a clear idea about where you and your husband stand in each category, whether it's the ones I wrote about or some others that are more relevant to you. For sure you two have to be in agreement about how you proceed...and it's not uncommon for men to be freaked out at first and then calm down in a week or two. Whatever you decide, like with any negotiation, be ready to grant some concessions and expect the same from him. Good luck with your decision, and remember there's no "wrong" answer, only what is right or wrong for you and your family.

Two is so much easier then One. You will love it and so will your husband.

Much love,
D.
Mom of two that are 2 1/2 years apart. Husband only wanted one baby but couldn't imagine life without both girls now.

I really feel for you L. because my husband actually threatened divorce if I were to have the 2nd baby. For me it was Hell at first with my husband who showed me just how cruel and selfish he could be. I searched my soul and I knew I wanted and needed to keep the baby.

Much easier the 2nd time around and having 2 little boys is the total joy in my life. They love each other so. During the pregnancy my husband finally came around towards the last trimester and was delighted when his 2nd son was born. But alas the damage was done and trust was broken. He let me carry all of the responsibility of the children and we ended up getting a divorce.

6 years later it was only today that we entered yet another horrid custody/visitation battle in which I am beside my self with grief at the way I have been pushed around in the Hawaii court system. We divorced in Hawaii. Much better court system here in LA.

I'm sorry I don't mean to be a downer and I realize my note to you is really about my story but I wanted you to be strong if you want your baby, have your baby and it will be wonderful. If your husband can't hang with a family just know your life can carry on with 2 children which is much easier than just one child, really.

God Bless.