Hysterical Toddler When Getting up from Naps

Hi R.,
Heres a helpful hint to try. In the center of her forhead just above her brow there is a little divit. Try rubbing it in little circles one way or the other. Or you can tap it gently. Now you dont want to tap it for very long because it actually releases an endorphan that will help calm her down. It will work for you as well. Or you can try rubbing her ears. My massage therapist helped me with this when my second son was going through the same thing. I hope this helps :) Good luck!

Hi R.,

My daughter is 18 months and has been waking up hysterical from naps for over 3 months, it is frustrating. I have asked the pediatrician about it and she gave me the tough love, let her cry it out, and that she is going through a phase speech. I tried that for a month with no change, and I must weak hearted because after 45 mins I gave in and got her... I am sure should would go on for over an hour if I could stick it out and if I could stick it out I am not sure it would have really worked.

After a month of me trying the "tough love " approach I did a month of getting her as soon as she woke up and of course she started in the screaming/crying right away. After 2 months I had enough and tried to think of when this started to figure out why she was being so hysterical. The only thing that I could think of was I do alot of computer work in the basement and it was extremal hard to her my daughter when she woke at up (she would chat but be quiet) even with a baby monitor it was hard to hear her. I don't wake her up every time at the same time (which some moms/babysitters do, keep then on a schedule... not so much me she gets a nap sometime in the afternoon and goes to sleep around 8pm). I let her wake up whenever and go from there. I then realized that there had been a few days (right before the hysteria started) she could have been awake 30 - 60 mins before I realized she was awake and got her and the only reason I got her is she started to scream.

With her getting older it is harder for her to be amused by just lying in the crib, would you want to be "trapped" in a crib for another 30-60 mins after you took a 2-3 hour nap. Nevertheless I had to undo what I helped create, a hysterical toddler. So I took the "tough love" approach and changed it to suit a weak hearted me/mom.

There is a dresser/shelf next to my daughters crib. On top of it I put a sippy cup of water, a book, and a favorite stuff animal/toy. Now she has stuff to do when she wakes up, and stuff she likes to do... this gives me time to realize she is awake. At first she would still be hysterical after a minute or two of playing so I would wait for her to take breath (not screaming or crying) and go in and get her. When I would get her I would say... see mommy comes when you are quiet (or something to reassure them that you will come but when they are not screaming/crying). I have been doing this for 2 weeks and finally the past 2 days my daughter has woken from her nap with no screaming/crying and I have time to realize that she is awake and I get her.

Not sure if this will help you at all... I am not expert but thought I would share what has worked for me. I am also hoping that when we change her from the crib to a bed we don't have to go through this again.

K.

Sorry this was so long.

I would venture to guess she's still sleepy and needs to go back to sleep. Have you tried letting her cry herself back to sleep?
OR possibly night terrors. It sounds like she may be scared of something.???

Hope this helps...

Sounds like you don't have an early bird. I would try putting on her fav movie or show. If it is like a tantrum, send her back to her room.

My sons both went through phases where they were really unhappy when the woke up from naps. (They also went through that awful phase where they no longer napped but were really cranky when I was trying to make dinner!)

You didn't say if your babysitters watch other kids, but in a day care environment, your daughter probably just has to go along with the group. She wouldn't get as much specialized attention from her babysitter because there are other kids around and the sitter can't drop everything and hold her. Chances are that there is some sort of activity to become involved with.

So it almost sounds like you are trying to be too hand-on with her when she wakes up. Things I would suggest trying:

1. Try to figure out why she doesn't nap as well at home. It sounds like she is still tired when she wakes up.

2. Having a favorite activity at the table that she can do on her own.

3. Watching her favorite show on TV while she cuddles with a favorite blanket or stuffed animal so she can wake up more slowly.

4. Routine, routine, routine...make sure you're doing the same thing each day when she wakes up. Chances are the sitter has a routine so your daughter knows exactly what to expect when she wakes up.

5. Let your daughter know what she should expect to do when she wakes up. She should know what comes next and what your expectations are. She might not understand all of it, but telling her that she shouldn't cry when she is crying is not as effective as doing it before she gets upset.

6. Feel free to recite my mantra of motherhood: "And this too shall pass, and this too shall pass..." Deep breathing and happy beach scenes in my head always brought a feeling of calmness. ;) Good luck!

M.

I would talk with the babysitters and find out if there is anything that you are doing that is different from what they are doing. It could be as simple as a they wake her up one way and you wake her up another. My son tends to act like this if he is almost asleep and then something changes so he's woken up again.

Sorry you have to go through this! It sounds like to me that she is doing it for your attention. If she is only doing it for you and your husband and no one else... That would be my conclusion. Maybe you should go in when she wakes up just to let her know you are there and tell her that you think she just needs to 'cry it out' and when she is done crying that you will come get her up from her nap. I hope that doesn't sound too 'tough love-like', but maybe that is what she needs. Then when she quits crying, go get her and do a fun activity together! I love cuddling with my son when he is upset, but I learned when it was just attention-seeking and had to let him just cry things out sometimes and you know something? Didn't take long until he quit doing it! Good luck! Don't get stressed about it!

Because she dosn't do this with anyone else I suggest that you change her nap place. Perhaps there is something in her room that is frightening her in her sleep. If you change sleeping places this may change the dynamics of the situation. Also cleansing the room with a sage smudge may get rid of any negative vibrations that may be present.
Hope this helps.

Are her naps shorter with the sitters? I know as an adult if I take a short nap it revitalizes me, yet a longer one only makes me more tired and irritable for a while after.

Just a thought.