I Am Going to Go Bald over Potty Training.

Updated on May 25, 2008
A.E. asks from San Antonio, TX
4 answers

My son who is *sigh* three (will be four in August) is driving me crazy over potty training. You all always have such good things to say so I am coming to you because I have expired all my options in my close network. I was having a really hard time getting him to go in the big potty at all.... until I discovered to just put him in the big boy underwear... he'll stay dry all day. I thought that I would need to chase him around all day but yesterday I got distracted with something and he still told me when he needed to go. I was so proud of him. Even fell asleep when I wasn't going to make him take a nap and I expected him to wake up wet-- he was totally dry. The part that I want to pull my hair out is when it comes to stinky. If I keep him in pull-ups (whatever brand) he won't stay dry but I don't want to clean up the monster mess if he has an accident in "big boy underwear". (I also have a very active almost one year old that gets into EVERYTHING-I am sure you all know how it goes.) So I have come to a cross-roads and am coming to you to find out how you all were able to get your boys (and girls) to go stinky in the potty. I have never used bribery in any situation so he is not an easily bribed child. When we first started potty training I tried and it worked until he got his toy and then we made about three steps backwards after that. In fact over the course of typing this, he has taken himself into the bathroom twice and really went (not stinky, of course), make that three times. Well, any tips would be very welcome and considered. My husband is wonderful becuase he has left all of this up to me and any decisions that are made, he is willing to go with because he admits that he doesn't have any and I am the one home with him all day. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and help me out in any way you can. I hear that this is typical, but I am wondering how to get through it.

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C.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I trained my 3 year old boy in less than a day after trying many methods. My goal was to stop having 2 children in diapers (my daughter was 1 yr. at the time...sounds familiar). Answer: "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day", book by Arzan & Fox. Amazon has it. I followed it to a 'T' and it worked. In fact, so well that I trained my daughter at 23 months! But, you must do it exactly like the book advises. Basically, they have you use multiple motivational methods at the same time WHILE making staying in a messy diaper worse than going potty. If there is no discomfort (especialy with todays super absorbant diapers & pull ups), then why should a 3 year old boy be motivated to change? When my son made a 'mistake', I asked him why? Being he was articulate and smart, I know knew he was building up reasons to not change and manipulating me. His answer was "I didn't want to". The training from the book made him "want to". Good Luck!

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

At age 2, I started each of my kids on potty training, trying to get it done in one day as I had heard others had done. For me, it didn't work although I personally know people it has worked for.

My daughter was a little over three and a half when she finally mastered pooping in the potty. With my son I felt like such a failure. My son was a few weeks shy of four years old when he finally figured it out and was in big boy underwear permanently. They would almost always follow me into the bathroom and I would encourage them to sit on their potty. This helped with the peeing.

I had done the bribery, too. It took forever of telling them that they would get a special prize if they pooped in the potty, but not one for just peeing. EVERYtime they pooped in the pullups I would remind them of the promised toy. I chose an item they really liked. For my daughter it was a boxed set of Hot Wheels type cars. The day she finally pooped in the potty, she got the cars and only had one or two accidents after that. For my son we started off with cars, too, but ended up promising him a train character from the Thomas the Tank Engine train series. It took almost six months of reminding him before he finally did it. The day he did it he reminded us of the promise. So on SuperBowl Sunday we had 30 minutes to get to the train store because it was already almost 5 pm!

The hardest part is BE PATIENT. Kids won't potty train just because we want them to. They will do it when THEY are ready, no matter what we try! After he had all of that mastered for about a month or so, I then instructed my husband that it was now HIS TURN to teach: the stand-up pee. They would go in and pee together and my son also learned to put the seat and lid down EVERY time because he saw Daddy doing that and Daddy always would remind him to flush as well. When we go to public restrooms, he insists on using the boys' room when my husband is with us because "I'm not a girl" he tells me :)

Don't worry. It WILL happen.

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C.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi A.,
I had the same problem with my son when he about 4 yrs old. Nothing I did worked. I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with him. Finally I resorted to bribery. He had been wanting a cat so I told him that if he had no accidents for two weeks he could get a cat. Well, just like that there were no more accidents so after two weeks we went to the Animal Defense League & he got to pick out his cat. I did tell him that if he began having accidents again, we would give the cat away. Well, it's now eleven years later & we still have the cat & he has never had another accident.

C.
www.candlesarelove.com

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B.S.

answers from San Antonio on

What I have started doing is putting the big girl [in my case] panties and then and pull up when we go out and when I know she haven't gone #2 in a while. Also I make her clean her poppy panties.
GL and He will get it eventually.......

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