I Am on My Third and I Am More Terrified!!

I also have 3 and was the SAME WAY!!! I couldn't believe how terrified I was - I guess it is because you know what to expect. Maybe we are normal... ;)

Best of luck for a wonderful, safe, and happy delivery!!!

It most likely is because you know what is coming. But if everything went fine the first time there is no reason to think it should go any differently.

PS....both my kids had BIG head just like their daddy. Actually my husbands brothers all had big heads and so did their children. We all had vaginal births and everything was fine!

I am sure you remember when you go into labor you are no longer afraid. You get in a state of mind (though you are in a lot of pain) you end up putting on your game face! I have had four and each time I would start to get scared around 8 months along. I start thinking about the pain and the recovery and the sleepless nights, along with the bloody nipples you get from the first few weeks of nursing! lol! We all go through it and so you will too. And everything ends up fine like it always does. You are having normal feelings! Good luck and enjoy the rest of your life with three beautiful children!

T.,
Both my kids have big heads (95th percentile) and both of their births went fine. Not fun, but fine. Remember, their heads are fairly soft and squishy at birth, so they come out looking like little coneheads at first!
With this being your third, you obviously have a lot on your plate. That is stressful in itself, but remember, this baby is traveling on a path already taken by your first two, so that is going to help.
Talk to your doctor, and tell him or her how you are feeling. Also, try to take some time to pamper yourself. I know this is hard with little ones at home, but do what you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family.
Think of something you can say to yourself over and over that is a POSITIVE and reassuring message, like, "I Can Do This!"
Repeat it to yourself, write it on sticky notes and post them all over the house. Because you know what? You can do it, and you will be okay!! God Bless!

T.,

I have 5 boys and for some reason I too always had a fearful anticipation of the IV. Apparently my veins are hard to "hit" with the needle and I always seemed to end up with the new nurse that needed practice!

Finally when I was pregnant with the last baby I was informed that they can numb the area that they are inserting the IV into. It made a huge difference! But you have to request it! They won't offer it to you, I don't know why.

I know how you feel I am having my fourth child after a 15 year gap.... I had big babies as well my smallest was 8.8 then 10.1 and 9.4. I did it without any epiderals.... I guess my fears are because I am 39 this pregnancy has been physically harder on me I am just worried about the birth so you are not alone in having the fear even though you have been through it all before... Just try to relax and not worry it is just pregnancy blues and everything will be fine!!!

T.,

I agree with the other moms advice. Even if you're nervous your body will remember what do with...with or without you. :)
Remember it gets easier with each child.

The doctors aren't always right about the size of the baby. After all it is just an estimate. They thought my daughter was going to be a big baby and she arrived at a 6lbs. 2oz. with a tiny head.

Enjoy your children. Congrats on the new little one!

Dear T. K,
We have 3 children. I remember feeling similar to you with our third. One thing that I can tell you is the Uterus muscles has memory. Your body will respond so much better this third time then it did with the other two. I guess I would say don't step in your bodies way by being reluctant or hesitant. Have visual aids and enjoy the moment. Take a yoga class the last three weeks. Get help with the other two so you are less stressed going into the labor. And remember the doctors and nurses are there to help you and your husband have healthy baby #3 and healthy mom.
Praying that all goes well :)

I agree that this is just because you know what is coming! I was terrified with my second because I had such an awful experience the first time (I had an awful nurse, my doctor got stuck at the train tracks, baby's heart rate kept dropping, etc.). My first did have a pretty big head too for only being 8 lbs (which by the way, he was "supposed to be" over 9). The second time, after having a wonderful nurse and a short, uneventful labor, I started bawling when it was time to push because I was so relieved! Then I really did have a 9 1/2 lb baby (with an average sized head) whose shoulder got stuck and required 2 doctors pulling to help. You just never know how things will turn out! Really, when you see your baby, you'll remember why you went through all of this and it will all be ok. Just keep reminding yourself of the end result!

Well all I know is that your not alone! I'm pregnant with my third boy and for some reason I'm terrified! I had no complications either. I keep thinking something is going to go wrong. I'm do on Oct. 15th only in 11 days and now I'm so close I start kinda of panicing when I think of it. I know I'm probably not helping, but I'm just telling myself that I lived through it and it shouldn't take more than a day hopefully only an hour of my life and I'll be looking back on this very soon. Take care and when you start thinking about it just try to think of something else.

Sweetie,
Please take this with the humor that is intended. Judging by the ages of the children that you have and your current condition, you haven't had time to think about anything but babies and delivery! LOL. Nothing wrong with it at all. Just sounds like you need some time for yourself. Perhaps you have a family member that would be willing to give you a day away from the children to pamper yourself a bit. Like maybe lunch with friends, some adult conversation, a movie, get a pedicure, sit in a park and read a book. As far as the delivery stuff, you know what to expect, and it is normal for each successive child to be bigger than the previous ones. You are totally prepared for that part.
My daughter just had her first baby in May. He weighed 10 lb 3 oz, 18 hours labor, and she had him natural. So trust me when I say that you will be able to walk through this one easy! I had 3 children also, but 5 years between the first two and 7 years between the middle and last, now that should have been cause for stress!!!!!!!!! But I did some research on the art of enjoying giving birth and wow amazing!

DOn't they say it gets easier and faster everytime? When I was nervous about giving birth, I just thought about the fact that The Baby Has To Come Out. ONe way or another. You have done this before so youi know what to expect. Just keep telling yourself that labor and delivery doesn't really last that long and the pain and agony go away as soon as you see your brand new baby who you will have so much love for. I would be more upset about the sleep your going to loose for the next year.(or longer).
It is so funny that I read this today because I was just thinking this morning about when I had my kids and how it wasn't really that bad. I had back labor for both and my epidural did not work for my first child. So it wasn't very fun at all. Plus 13 hours of hard labor.
You just have to get over it. You are strong and you know you can do this. You have no choice.
I am saying this compassionately.

My first was in the 97% and was 10lb 7oz. He as also breach. So they did a scheduled c-section. The 7 months before they knew this, I dreaded the idea of a c-section. I did not want one at all! But when it comes down to it, you do what you have to do.

Just remind yourself that it will not last forever. And you will get through it (whatever struggles and thoughts you may experience). Just remember the millions of women before us who had children - most of them didn't have the technology we have today. Sometimes out technology is great and sometimes it gives information that only causes us to worry more.
Sometimes not knowing is better.

Try praying for peace and for God to carry you through all of the details.

Hang in there. You can do it! You have done it before and you will do it again.

Hi T.,

I am also due in two months with my second child. I am having terrible anxiety about the delivery as well. I already know I have to have a c-section but am stressing about going into surgery and having possibly a spinal or epidural. I am afraid something will go wrong etc... Everyone tells me it is normal to be worried but I somedays it just makes me crazy to think about it. So I can relate.

With my first child I measured big also and they measured the head size every few days up until they induced me. I went through 15 hours of labor but they felt nothing was happening and that he was probably to big to deliver naturally. I ended up having a csect. Everything turned out fine. The baby ended up being almost 10lbs. so I am glad they took him by csection!

I wish you all the best just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your anxiety!

D.

I think what you are feeling is not uncommon. I've only had one and am thinking about the second and have way more worries and concerns then I did the first time when I was blissfully ignorant. For me, the first had such a romantic notion surrounding everything and now I know how hard it is. don't really have any great advice but definitely can relate with what you are feeling. Good Luck

Welcome to the club! My son will be 3 in November, my daughter is 19 months and I'm just about in my 9th month with this pregnancy. :o)

Your feelings are totally normal no matter what happened the first two times. Every birth is different so don't worry about being worried! Now that I'm getting close to having this baby I'm getting more nervous about the delivery even though my first two went pretty smooth. Really, at this point in the game you could be feeling almost anything and it would be normal. I saw a special on tv about pregnancy and it said that in the 9 months a woman is pregnant, she experiences the same amount of hormones that someone who lived to be 150 would have in their entire life!!

Buck up, champ. We're a special breed and deserve to have whatever feelings we feel like when we feel like it. :o)

T. ~
As a labor and delivery nurse, let me tell you that the 3rd baby is usually even easier than the 2nd (and your 2nd was probably way easier than your 1st!). Especially since they're all so close together. Your body knows what to do. The head thing really is no big deal ... it would be more concerning if it were your 1st. You probably won't hardly have to push at all. It shouldn't be a long, drawn-out process, either (unless you're induced, and then it always seems longer). You should start dilating closer to your due date - it's not uncommon for someone who's had a couple of babies to be dilated to 4cm for a couple weeks even before delivery. So that helps, because when you really start labor, you're almost half-way done already. As someone else wrote, part of it could be hormones. Relax, enjoy this time (as much as you can with the back pains, difficulty breathing, potty breaks all the time, etc!).
Good Luck!
D.

T., you are not alone!!! I wasn't terrified, just NOT looking forward to giving birth to my fourth. I didn't want to change the fact that I was having him, just the giving birth part! I think that was just because I wasn't planning on having any more and knew he was the last. I had been married, had 2 kids, divorced, remarried, got 2 more and had one more already at that point. I knew I didn't want any more and so did my husband. God had other plans as we used birth control and were fanatical about not having any more. He is a blessing almost every day and will soon be 16. Hope this helps, L. S.

Just want to let you know that my sister's 2nd child was estimated to be over 10 lbs... He was barely 8lbs...
The estimates can be off quite a bit.
Another friend was gonna have a "huge" baby also...barely 7 lbs...
My 2nd was "supposed to be about 8lbs 4 oz. lol 9lbs 7 oz is more like it.
My 3rd? hehe... 10 lbs rounded down.
(My biggest 2 were all natural births. I am a HUGE fan of the tubs in the hospitals and know that they make the contractions easier, and your skin more supple and relaxed so no need for an episiotimy on my last 2...)
I am just praying that I NEVER break my aunts record of 12 lbs rounded down all natural. (and no, I can't say that massive babys run in the family... Most of 'em are around 7lbs... I just have big boys I guess. :-)

Just remember. Each birth is different and I feel like they are easier the more you have. Convince yourself of that. :-) Why? Cause Ignorance is BLISS!!! lol

Hey, I feel your pain!! I had my third child last March. I totally started freaking out about everything 2 months before. Everyone who talked to me about having a third baby just talked about how HARD HARD HARD it is. I started to think I was crazy and I would never be able to handle it. After I had the baby I started to see that I was handling a third much better than I had expected and that felt good to know that "I can do it!" But as for your fear of the actual birth, I read the Hypnobirthing book (The Mongon Method) in the last two months of my pregnancy and that made a WORLD of difference. It talks all about overcoming your fears and not focusing on the pain. I loved it!!!

Sorry for the extra anxiety, but its probably just the extra hormones that are making your anxiety go up since you know it isn't logical. I had a similar experience after my daughter's birth, not PP depression, but just anxiety. It wore off in a few weeks and I was back to normal. It just took time to get my hormones back to normal.

See if your OB can give you something for anxiety. You CAN DO THIS! You'll do great and keep positive as much as you can.

Best wishes!

Hello T., Could it be that your real fear is about having your third so close in age? Mine were spaced out almost exactly like your three. My oldest just had her third birthday, my middle was 16 months when number three was born. I was terrified about how to handle the pressure of raising another child. Just a thought. S.

I did the same with my third who measured big too!
It went great - 9 pounds 2 oz later and no worries!
My first two were totally natural - mister big required a little epidural - oh well :) he is awesome! take a bath relax it will be just fine!!

I do think its because you know more now and worry over everything that can go wrong instead of wonder what will happen. So its mind over matter :) Once it starts happening you get so focused anyway the anxiety disapears

I have 3 babys! I have a 5 year old, who just started kindergarden, a 4 year old, who just started preschool, and a 2 year old that I'm trying to potty train! As scared as you are, its by far not the scariest thing that your going to do! But you're already a mom so you should know this already. And in the last week of everyone of my pregnancys I got panicked like this. I had c-sections, but, in the last couple of weeks I would start remembring all of the pain. It was never as bad as I remembered it! The hospital will make sure your comfortable, and you just need to focus on the little one your about to bring into the world and forget the rest. Good Luck! But you really dont need it, you'll be fine!

Hi T.!

When my son was born he was stuck. I had an episiotomy , they had to use forecepts and I still tore "all the way". I am telling you this to tell you it was fine and I would do it all again. I know that, for some odd reason, people like to tell pregnant women horror stories. I just want you to know that although the thought of the thingsI went through terrified me, it really was fine. THey gave me meds to take away the pain and, liek I said, I would do it all again.

I hope that I at least helped ease your fears a little!!

Okay, first: BREATHE if you are not already. The stress of thinking this over is not good for you or baby. Second, Hubby will never get it as he does not experience it the way we do.

YOU have to know and FEEL that it will all be okay. YOU have to know and FEEL that it will all turn out in the end the way it did before. Every pregnancy, labor & delivery and child is always so very different anyway. We always compare and drive ourselves insane and that is what gets us into trouble.

Stressing yourself out over a baby (and because of the tech) is not a good idea. Talk to your doctor and you can always see what other moms that delivered larger babies when through. Chances are, the worst thing is you may have a c-section if you are not stretching enough to allow the baby to come out or if you may tear too much and bleed too much (do not want to put your life in danger either!).

Calm down, relax, breathe and see a VERY POSITIVE outcome. All will be well!

I can totally imagine how you feel. I was absolutely terrified during my last birth. My first daughter was stillborn, I had complications with the birth of my second daughter, and then while I was pregnant with my son.......I was a wreck! I was so nervous because I hadn't had a baby in 9 years. It was crazy! I can only reassure you that if they feel it will be too hard to deliver your baby, they will do a c-section. Just remember that you are strong, you've done this before and you'll be fine. I think as we get older, we become sissys. I used to love roller coasters but now that I'm older, I know the dangers and I won't ride them. They scare me to death! As we grow older and wiser, we tend to think more. Try to relax and look forward to seeing that precious little face and holding that beautiful baby in your arms. Good luck and God bless! :)

Hey T., This is H., if it makes you feel any better, I hadmy first baby 4 1/2 months ago who was a 11 lb. 12 oz. baby boy with a head that was 15 inches around, completely naturally at home (with a midwife), no complications, no tears, no fear until the last few pushes. You can do it girl! Especially if you've already had two with no complications, it'll be over before you know it!

Normal feelings. Think positive! My daughter delivered 4 babies with very large heads without any drugs or episiotomies. She's fine and so are they. Yes, it wasn't easy, but is childbirth ever easy? As I told my oldest daughter when she began to panic during her first labor, it's just one day out of your life! You'll get through it! Think of that sweet baby you'll have in your arms at the end. Good luck and God bless!

Ummm, you are just about to have 3 children under 3! Anyone would be stressed! Hang in there. It is normal. I take a dietary supplement for stress and anxiety if you are interested. It works real well.

S.

Breaaaaaaaaaaathe! Your body has already proven to you that you know how to do this. Even if this one is bigger, what makes you think your body will suddenly shut down? It won't. Everything will happen in its own time and soon you'll have that sweet child in your arms.

I can't even tell you how often those techs are wrong. My doctor wouldn't even estimate how big she thought my daughter would be because of the huge margin of error. A friend of mine was told she'd need a c-section right off the bat with her first baby because of how huge she was going to be. My friend resisted and gave birth to a beautiful 7 pounder naturally. Just trust yourself and trust your body. You've done this twice already, you've got it down pat!

Good morning T.,

Completely normal!!!! I went through this with my fourth. You'd think, why worry... I should be a pro by now. But for some reason, the anxiety just kicks in. All of my babies had big heads (75% to off the charts). They all came out just fine and are all normal, beautiful children. Just relax and tell yourself, this pregnancy will be over before you know it and you'll be upset with yourself if you do not take some joy in one of God's best miracles. I wish you the very best! (Oh, and one more thing... those techs are often wrong!)
J.

T., I can soooooooo relate to your feelings. I am 3 months out from having #4, and with each baby I have, I get more and more Jumpy, scared, anxious, etc. about the whole thing. I think that most of it is just knowing more, and the more you know, the more there is to worry about. I will tell you that my 2nd and 3rd were both large, and they were doing ultrasounds twice at the end to check sizes...both were in or above 97%, and they both came out fine...no rips or tears, so no stitches! Although they both came so fast there were no drugs either, but it wasn't that bad. 'But I think that we both just need to relax, and ride the ride. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. Good luck to you!

Could just be hormones kicking in big time. Why not just arrange for a C-section? Or look around for birthing centers that use water tanks birthing?

Trust me I would rather gargle crushed glass than go through another epidural. That's nightmarish to me. But talk with your OB/GYN about the options.