I need help desperately. I have a two year old daughter, she will be three in August, and she still won't sleep through the night. We are miserable and tired. Due to the size of our home, she is still sleeping in the same room but in her own bed with me and my husband. It was like clockwork every night, she would wake up in between 1 and 2, change her diaper, give her a glass of milk, lay down with her for 10 minutes and she would be back to sleep. Over the past couple of weeks, she is now routinely waking up in between 4 and 5 as well. She gets plenty of active activity every day, I will usually take her to the park or somewhere else trying to "wear her out" which never works. She eats dinner at 530, has a small snack before her bath and bed at 830. I don't know what else to do. She doesn't sleep all day the next day either, just her normal two hour nap. Please help. It would all be greatly appreaciated. Thank you.
Thank you everyone for the advice. At dinner, she loves vegetables. So much that's all she wants. She will eat potatoes and pasta, but it is getting more and more difficult to get her to eat meat. We have also tried lavender baths, bedtime used to be in between 7 and 8, and if she doesn't have a nap she is a holy terror. I will try cutting the naps back and attempt more protein. All advice is greatly appreciated.
First off, she does not ned to be having a glass of milk in the middle of the night. There is no way she needs that amount of liquid in the middle of the night. And why are you changing her diaper in the middle of the night as well? If it is because she is wet, then restrict her liquids before bed. At two perhaps you can think of potty training for the day time which you can then phase into the nighttime routine.
One of the things I did when my little one did this was to take out the nap. Period. There were several days to get him used to not taking a nap, but it seemed to help in my situation. Maybe others who post could give more help.
Good luck.
A couple of things, why are you giving her two hour long naps? Cut the nap time to one hour and have it before noon. And why is she getting milk in the middle of the night?
Try not doing those things and I promise it will help.
Also, she is probably waking in the middle of the night because she needs a diaper change. Do not give her anything to drin before bedtime.
Sometimes as parents we need to stop and look at what we are doing that is affecting our childs behavior.
Hi,
I partialy agree with what Donna had said. I think she is getting to much sleep during the day but I wouldnt take her naps out totally I would cut them down to an hour for awhile and see if you notice an improvement on her night sleeping. If after awhile you dont see improvement then completely cut out the naps. Hope this helps. God bless!
I really don't know what the other moms wrote but my suggestion is stop giving her stuff to drink in the middle of the night she wakes up cause she is programmed to do so it's just like the bottle or breast they know they are going to get so they wake up for it. It's your daughter and i know you love her dearly but you have to run her not her run you. mske her go potty before bed she should not be soiling a paper that much at 2. just for thought i hear chew cal vitamins helps. But I just think you need to stop all that extra and watch out for what ever you are giving her for a snack before bed.
Hi J.! My daughter is about to turn 3 in a few weeks and we had the same problem with her. She wasn't in the same room but our house is small and she was right next door-so I feel your pain. This is going to sound crazy but maybe try to put her down earlier, like around 7:30. We did that and she now sleeps from 6:30pm to 7:30am or 8 (she dropped her nap too). I read several books and that seemed to be the common theme-put them to bed earlier. I hope that helps! Good luck. This too shall pass.
Have you looked at www.sleepsense.net? Dana Obleman really knows her stuff. But even if you don't sign up for her program or anything, there are a lot of archives of her blog where you might find some answers to your problems. Good luck!
Hi, I don't know if my suggestion will help or not, but it works for my 2 year old. We use a white noise maker for his naps and at night. He almost can't sleep unless he has that sound to drown out everything else. We purchased ours at Wal-mart for $15. Heck, it will be worth a shot to get one and if it doesn't work for you, you can always get your money back. I bet you will sleep better with it also. My husband and I sleep so good when we use it in our room.
Best of luck to you. Hopefully you will find the solution that works best for your little one!
Nix the nap. My daughters never really took them and they're "normal".
... or at least shorten them to 1 hour or less...
A few questions - is she potty trained during the day - if so then she should be able to sleep through the night - no need for diapers or a changing. I have a dd that will be 3 in 15 days - has been potty trained for over a year and slept dry through the night since she was about 14 months. Absolutely no milk after she has brushed her teeth for the night - it will ruin her teath and mouth!!!! It sounds like you have contributed to the problem - find a good sleep book and start from the begining. If you can find a copy of Baby 411 they have lots of suggestions in one book.
You didn't mention what time she wakes up in the morning. She shouldn't be getting more than 10 hours of sleep total. I would start by cutting her naptime in half. One hour would be good. Also, when is her nap? If it is too late in the afternoon, maybe try it an hour earlier as well. But, no matter what, don't let her get up out of bed. Tell her if she wakes up, she has to lay quietly so that you and Dad get some sleep. If she wakes you up and it's not important, then she will be punished. That way, she will learn to lay still and quiet even when she wakes up at an unusual time. She has to learn this for your sake as well as her own. You will have to insist on this for several nights for it to sink in. You will have to follow through with some type of punishment if she purposely wakes you up for something. But, then, she will get it and leave you alone and hopefully fall back asleep on her own. I've had to do something similar with all of my children.
I always feel like the Mamasource alarmist. Ha! Hopefully this does not sound way off, but you might want to have her tested for Restless Leg Syndrome (which is a hereditary thing that keeps kids and adults from relaxing). Maybe she is having a hard time settling down and staying asleep or you might want to ask her doctor for some things to think about. RLS does not hurt a child, so they don't cry and you don't know that anything is wrong. You can actually tell if they are fidgety all the time during the day. May kids get diagnosed with ADD b/c they are not getting good sleep and they are so jumpy instead of this underlying cause. Just something else to check into. Losing sleep is no good for anyone. I hope you all get it resolved soon. :)
Do you have any white noise in the room? try a fan on a table near where she sleeps, or sounds of the ocean, etc. playing while she sleeps. i hope this helps. For your tiredness, get a massage, and learn how to massage your child before sleep. My husband is a LMT and has extensive training with children with special needs, fortunately our son is happy and healthy, but these techniques and others are what keep us going during his growth spurts and occasional night terrors or stuffy head with teething. If we can help let us know.
My initial gut reaction is she can't sleep because she is hungry! Both my boys went through this around this age and we didn't have dinner until 7pm. I think her dinner needs to be later and her snack before bed needs to be something with protien in in, like apples and peanut butter. I would only give her water in the middle of the night. Does she have a water cup that is where she can reach it (with a lid on it) so she can take care of her own thirst needs when she wakes up and then put herself back to sleep? I am surprised her diaper doesn't hold till morning. Both mine had stopped urinating at night by then. Do they make a nighttime diaper that holds more? I used cloth so I am not sure shat is available, but you might look into that. Good luck, you need your sleep and she needs to learn to self-soothe.
i have a daugher that just turned 3. try taking away her nap. my daughter hasn't napped in about 5 months...b/c she gets out of her big girl bed. i know we all treasure nap time...but it might be worth giving it up for a full night of sleep. also, if she wakes up don't give her the milk...tell her that big girls don't drink in the night....u'll probably have one happy camper in the night...for many nights...but hang in there...if she's not getting what she wants...she may lose the habit and start sleeping. good luck...i feel for u!
How much protein is she eating at dinner? If you want her to sleep longer than 8 hours, she needs lots of protein in her dinner. If she's eating more carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables (although those are essential for a well balanced diet) it probably will not sustain her for a 10-11 hour sleep.
Also consider that there might be environmental stimulus that is waking her up at that time. With warmer weather comes birds... Perhaps there is faint chirping that she hears right before dawn which is waking her up?
You can always try pushing back bedtime and see if that shifts the timing of her REM cycles, when she's faintly conscious, etc.
I have a three year old daughter who will be four in June. She takes a one hour nap everyday and has since she was about 18 months old. I know every baby is different but you may want to try reducing the nap to one hour and see if that helps. Now some days she doesn't even get a nap if she hasn't been that active that day (ie...bad weather and stayed in all day..). She doesn't go to bed until 9:30 or 10:00 and wakes up around 8:30am which I know we need to change before she starts school. Good luck. I know that is frustrating. (One other thing- we play soft music at night.)
At two, she still needs a nap during the day and two hours is within normal limits. There is a lot of information showing that daytime sleep deprivation can actually disturb nighttime sleep patterns. I find it to be true with my daughter for sure.
A protein-packed snack may be the answer (think peanut butter or cheese and apples with a glass of milk). Definitely no milk in the middle of the night!
You are doing all the right things, but she may be going through a natural sleep regression. Consider reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She has some good strategies for building better sleep habits and coping with the bumps in the road.
J.,
I'm not sure what your living arrangement is but you need to get her out of your room. Even if you set up a room for her in the living room, she needs her own space. You would be surprised to know that it is normal to wake at night. Your daughter has not learned how to put herself back to sleep because you are taking care of her needs. It is not the day time nap that is keeping her from her sleep (children her age still need 10-14 hours). It is more likely the movements/sounds from you and your husband and once she is fully awake, you contribute by getting her a glass of milk, etc. Get her out of your room and leave her alone when she wakes so that she can learn to put herself back to sleep. It will be difficult for a while but it's something you must do for the whole family. I do not agree with conditioning a child to fall asleep to white noise or any other artificial sound. You are only setting her up for restless nights if you travel and forget the machine, or worse yet, having to take her sound with her for a sleepover (ARGH). It will take you probably 3 nights to remedy this problem if you are CONSISTENT with your method.
I agree with most of the responses. The milk and diaper change must stop. The milk will end up rotting her teeth. Ask your dentist about this. She has to learn to go to sleep on her own. It may take a couple of weeks of unhappy times for you but in the end it will be worth it. She will be rested just as you are. You can explain that you are here but she needs to go to sleep on her own, even sit next to her bed without getting her out. This will be extremely tough for you. She will learn. Show her lots of love at bedtime and during the day so she feels your love. good luck
I think she is just waking up out of habit. She shouldn't be hungry or need a glass of milk during the night. My daughter did this when I was breastfeeding her. She woke up constantly and didn't know how to put herself back to sleep without me breastfeeding. Next time just try laying down with her and skip the milk. Once she can fall asleep without that, cut the time you lay down with her until she can fall asleep without you. I know it is hard. My daughter didn't sleep a whole night through until she was almost 2. It will get better.
Has any one suggested that maybe either you or your hubby are making too much noise thast it is waking her up? Like snoring or talking in your sleep or just something like that and she can't or doesn't know how to tell anyone. Sorry but that might be it..
