I Am Thinking About Homeschooling My Son Need Advice

We will be starting cyber school in the fall when my eldest daughter is 4. I have a friend who uses the Calvert cirriculum for cyber schooling her son after he broke his arm when his classmate pushed him off the playground equipment. Kids are cruel and it sounds like you have good reason to worry. You get a computer, all-in-one printer (with a scanner, copier, etc.) and all the needed supplies. With the Calvert cirriculum they include everything, even construction paper so it is very easy to do. Each day has a lesson plan for you to follow and activities for the children. I have talked with a couple other women who have used it and they were happy with it as well. I don't know anything about the other cirriculum options available though.

S.,
there was a lot of information missing from your post. It is obvious your son needs help. How could this go on for 4 years with no action being taken on your part or the schools? What is causing all of his teachers and peers to hate him? There has to be a whole lot more to this story. And at this point, He really needs to be talking to a counselor about this, whether through the schools or one your find privately. Bulling is not ok. if i were in your situation, i would want to find out everyone's versions and the history leading up to it. The suspension for the bathroom lights sounds fishy to me. Did you met with the teacher or principal over this? I would have asked a ton of questions about how turning off the lights warrants a suspension. Is the unsupervised Bathroom the main place the trouble occurs? See if it's possible to have a male chaperone/teacher whatever in there with the class. I know you weren't asking for advice on this incidence but it seems like this lead up to the stabbing.
Pulling him out might be the right thing for your family. But if i were in your situation i would be gathering as much information as i can from other sources, like the teacher, the principal, etc. and not relying soley on what your son is choosing to tell you. If the principal actually said "there is nothing i can do about these threats" then yes pack up your son and get out of there. But since you asked for advice, i have to say, your little guy is begging for help and has been for a long time. Will homeschooling him really elimate the issues he is having trouble with? IF the only problem is his classmates, his teacher and his principal then Yes. You didn't say, does he participate in anything outside of school, church, sports, boy scouts etc. How are his experiences with those groups. That will tell you alot.
I know no one can detail the whole situation in 4 paragraphs on a message board like this. I'm just asking questions for you to think about, to help you get a handle on the big picture not because i need to know. Maybe you already have the answers to all of these questions and you have all the information you need to make your decision. Most of the times we just need to follow our own hearts. Please consider getting your son some counseling.
I wish you and your little guy alot of luck.

Hi S.,

I'm soo sorry your son is going thru this in school!

My oldest 2 went to public school and had to deal with the peer pressure. If I could do it over with them I would have home schooled them. They are now 25 and 20 so in those days it wasn't a "common thing" to home school.

We also have 2 younger children ages 4 and 5.

I do home school my son (5) and we both LOVE IT! I will do the same with my daughter.

We use Agora Cyber School. www.k12.com

I find it to be a WONDERFUL experience!

Feel free to email me with any questions you might have I can even give you a phone number if you like?
____@____.com
I. B.

Mom of 4. Grandma of 1. Have a home based business and LOVING being home with my Family!

I'm so sorry you're having trouble. However, what the truth really is about a situation sometimes is unclear because there are children involved. What is really the truth is usually something in between.
I've been a teacher for 20 years, and I find it hard to believe that all of your son's teachers in 4 years are deliberately treating your son badly & are mean. Not to say that some might not be unfair, but it's pretty unlikely that none of them care about your son.
It seems to me like a situation that has been allowed to snow ball. If your son doesn't feel he can trust one teacher, he may transfer those feelings on all teachers, and not trust them to go to them when something is wrong. Being a new kid is hard. It's hard to know who is treating you fairly & who isn't sometimes. Things can get misinterpreted, and then you feel alone.
I noticed in your post that no where did you say anything about conferencing with the teacher. Have you made an appointment to voice your general concerns? From a teacher's perspective, if the only time you see a parent is when there's a complaint, it's very easy (but wrong) to be defensive. And, like I said, your son's version of events is likely to be quite different than the teacher's, simply because he's a child. If you discuss your concerns with the teacher in a calm and respectful manner, you're going to get answers and help. Approach the problem with anger and accusations, you'll get more the same.
Having said all this, in my opinion, don't take him out of school. It's obvious that he's having socialization issues. He needs to learn how to deal with them in a healthy manner, not avoid them. Pull him out & isolating him will not do him any favors in the long run. Ask to see a counsellor at school. That's what they are for! Most schools these days have behavioral specialists. They are not just there to help problem kids. They help kids with issues like getting along with others, or those with anger or & etc. If your school doesn't have one, ask for the help of your pediatrician who can recommend a someone for him to see. Avoiding the issue won't help him in the long run. Give him the tools to deal with difficult people and handle social situations.
Just my opinion - I hope it helps.

I have never had a problem like this, however, I have homeschooled from the beginning. We are part of a place called Open Connections in Newtown Square. Here is their website

www.openconnections.org

They are more then willing to discuss homeschooling with those interested and even have intro to homeschooling workshops every month for free. We do not do cyber school, but we have friends that do and are quite happy with it. Since your son is used to a school routine, Im sure cyber school would work out for him. Good luck! I do not think that school is a good environment for any child!

Hi S.,
I just want to say that I have and I am still living what you are going through. We moved almost 4 years ago also and at the time I was homeschooling my 3 kids. When we moved here I thought it would be a great change and opportunity for my oldest and most social to attend the local Catholic school here. It was a small school and since I didn't know anyone I thought it would be "safe" since I would be more in control of who she is friends with (hopefully shared the same faith and morals) and I could get to know their parents easier. The first year she became friends with the girl that no one else would. It was not a healthy relationship and it ended eventually. The next 2 years my daughter was in the "popular group" but just as anywhere, somedays you're "in" and most days you're "out" of the group! She seemed to deal with it, but last year - before school even started the girls were spreading rumors and talking bad about her. As the year went on the girls and then eventually the boys in her class continued to bully her and leave her out ( I think this all stemmed from a boy that liked my daughter from another school district and their jealousy.) She would come home stressed and in a bad mood. We eventually asked if we could talk to administration on her behalf but she did not want us to because it would just make matters worse for her when her classmates were confronted. She reassured us that she would deal with it in a mature way and insist that they leave her alone. I am so upset at myself for not stepping in and demanding that the school deal with this since they boasted the "no bullying policy" at the school. I do know for a fact that the vice principle and a teacher were aware of this. I feel as though since we were the "new" family and probably did not bring in as much money to the school as the" well to do's" that we weren't worth their trouble. Now for the results of not stepping in .... my daughter who was always confident and an achiever is now dealing with depression and an eating disorder because of all of this. She has since requested that she be cyber schooled and loves it! We are in counseling for the depression and the disorder. She even states that it was the best thing for her and loves the fact that she can concentrate on what is important and not be distracted by all the drama. She is involved in sports and associates with people that are true friends and are not persuaded by peers in school. I will be happy to talk to you if you want. Don't let people talk you out of homeschooling or cyberschooling because of the lack of socialization ------ most of the time it's that SOCIALIZATION that you DON'T want for your children. Trust me he'll be more socialized, happy and safe once you pull him out of school. To think I actually PAID for this to happen! I know I have a long road ahead of us. I do have one child in the public school. He was at home for 7 years but has decided that he wanted a change. I would highly recommend homeschooling using a curriculum for the early years. If you live in PA, cyber school is the way to go! They are accountable to teachers and have a lot of one on one help if needed. This is coming from a person who said she would NEVER homeschool her kids. Thank God we still have a choice and voice for our kids. Good Luck ~ M.

Hi S.,

My experience with homeschooling was wonderful. All five of my children were homeschooled and they intend to homeschool their own children.

You should be able to find homeschooling groups and co-ops for you and your son to join. If you can't find one, start one. A homeschooling group is an invaluable resource and support system.

My sister uses the cyber school in PA, but that would have been way too restrictive for me. There are so many terrific options anymore---a wide variety of curriculum and teaching ideas available that utilize different styles of teaching and learning. You can gear the learning process to meet you child's individual needs.

I can't say enough about homeschooling! Email me if you ahve any questions. I'm sorry your son has had to go through this.

Blessings,
K.
www.joyfulconnections.net

I am currently homeschooling my son through PACyber Charter. We were recommended to this school by friends, and I would also recommend PACyber. All his classes are taken via a computer. PACyber provides everythin you need. This is our 2nd year and friends can not believe what a difference it has made for our son. He enjoys school more, communicates more and his grades have gone up. It has taken away the negative peer pressure. They offer several learning options to best suit your child including Calvert, Virtual and self study. www.pacyber.org.
My son swims on a swim team which he can use towards his PE hours, but also gives him interaction with lots of other kids. PACyber also offers programs outside of school work to allow the kids to socialize and be exposed to different things. Such as Junior Achievement programs, art classes, mythology, geography competions etc.
It is certainly worth looking into a cyber school as an option. However, make sure that you are willing to make sure that your son is exposed to plenty of other opportunities to continue to interact with kids his age.

Good Luck. Please contact me if you have any questions.

Hi S.,

This is horrible!!! These people are put in place to protect our children when we are not there to protect them. It doesn't sound like the principal investigated thoroughly. If the teacher lied about the situation then she should not be someone in charge of children. Have you thought about taking this higher? Maybe to the superintendent or the school board? Most schools don't stand for any type of bullying.

I understand that you are planning on taking your son out of this situation, but if he is not there these "bullies" will find someone else to do this to and if you could stop that from happening you should at least try to.

I have known other parents who have tried cyber schooling and it works as long as you and your son are dedicated to do it. They have a very firm timeline when things need done by. They do have a very good curriculum, but it is tough.

Good luck!!!
{{{HUGS)))

L.

S.,

If this has been going on for four years, then we can safely ascertain that the faculty of said school is neither interested in, nor cares about, resolving the situation regarding your son and his harassment by his peers.

I can relate with all the other kids being friends with the kid that did it from personal experience. I’ve been hit before right in class, and when I turned around to confront my attacker, *I* was the one that got in trouble, because the rest of the class said they didn’t see the ‘popular’ kid hit me in the back of the head, and that *I* was the one causing the problem!!!

As someone who was mercilessly harassed in school from Elementary school to High school, I can tell you that it will only get worse if you do not nip it in the bud now.

Many things have been said about the Columbine massacre that happened in Colorado, mostly from a knee-jerk emotional reaction point of view. What few failed to realize or analyze, or even care about is that the two kids who TURNED INTO murderers… were mercilessly harassed, physically abused, picked on, and psychologically tortured by the people they eventually killed. This is easily verifiable fact that can be looked up by anyone with an internet connection. They only killed the people that had harmed them in some way, and even went out of their way to warn the people who had been kind to them to leave the building. Does this sound like cold blooded killers to you, or simply people who needed help that were pushed and abused too far until they finally snapped?

It was a terrible tragedy, that is for certain. But it can be less terrible if we learn lessons from it. I’m not saying your son would turn into another Columbine murderer, but I can tell you that if this merciless harassment isn’t stopped, one day he will have had enough of it, and heaven help the people that have been picking on him for all those years. If they’re lucky they’ll only get a bloody nose. If they aren’t so lucky…

You asked for comments, so I’m giving them.

Here’s my 2 cents:

1.) Get your son out of that school pronto.

If you can’t or won’t home school your son, then research other options.

At the very least, remove him from the danger FIRST, then see about other options.

2.) Get a restraining order against the kid who did this to your son. They’ll vacillate and say it isn’t necessary, etc. Horsepucky. Get it anyway. Your local courthouse can help you with this.

3.) Get in touch with the parents of the kid responsible. Demand the parent’s phone number from the principle, and if they won’t give it to you, find out the kid’s last name and look them up in the phone book.

If the parents are unwilling to cooperate, then you’ll have a pretty good idea of how this kid is disciplined at home, or lack thereof. You can always remind them that they are PERSONALLY liable for the behavior of their son. (As in financially, and you will sue their sorry arses.) This should get their attention.

4.) Let the school know, in no uncertain terms that if anything, ANYTHING at all, happens to your son, they are PERSONALLY liable, and will be sued. As much as they like to think they have protection and immunity from liability via the teacher’s union, they don’t.

Tell them you expect immediate changes, and a plan of action in hardcopy form as to how they are going to prevent your son from being harassed, intimidated, and injured whilst in their care.

If they can’t provide any of this, remove him from the school permanently.

A point of note: You WILL be persecuted for standing up for your rights, and you will be harassed and attempt to intimidate you will be made. The school may even file a false CYS (Children and Youth Services) report on you saying that YOU are the one who damaged your son. Never underestimate the power of a damaged ego.

Lastly, if you are EVER contacted by the CYS, do not let them in your home.

Let’s look at that again.

DO NOT LET THE CYS INTO YOUR HOME, DO NOT TALK TO THEM, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. EVER.

Unless you stand up for your rights, you HAVE no rights.

Message me if you’d like to discuss any of this further.

Best of luck.

Love and Light.

J.

Your son is in danger, whatever you do DO NOT send him back to that school for an instant! Regardless of whether or not you or your son get in trouble for that, would you rather he go back, get stabbed in the neck, and then be hospitalized and either die or get taken into custody by child protective services because no one believes that a nasty kid did it to him? Either way you'd lose your son, so get him out NOW!

S.,

Have you ever had conversations with teachers, counselors or the principal in the past? I can't believe that there is a conspiracy against your son for 4 years.

This incident that happened in the bathroom is cause for great concern. I agree with someone who said to contact the superintendent of the school. They probably don't know what's going on in the school. They have to investigate and find out the truth.

As for pullimg him out, I think you are showing him to run away and not deal with it. If the situation is really that bad, take him to counseling to help him and transfer him to another school in your area.

As much as I hate to say this because I do not know you, your son or the entire story. It may be your son with the problem thinking the world is out to get him. Please concider counseling for him to help him deal with his feelings and help him to learn to socialize with other kids and people in general. 4 years of teachers & kids being "mean" is not normal.

Best of luck to you.

Wow, I would get my son out of the school asap!! I have dealt with times where my children get in trouble for something, but when someone does something to them there is no consequence. It is extremely frustrating. My older 3 children are in public school and unfortunately there they will remain as my ex-husband will not let me homeschool. However, I have 2 children with my husband now and we plan to homeschool. However, I know someone who has had a bad experience with cyber school, didn't feel the child was getting the help needed.
I get a lot of advice from Homeschool.com forums. There are so many different ways to homeschool, you may want to look into them. I don't plan on using a cyber school when I start schooling my children. They seem to rigid for me, but you may like that. Make sure you follow the laws though.
I have been reading through other responses and I can't believe people would say this child should stay in school when he's been attacked and has been threatened!
And I guess there are people still quite uninformed about homeschooling. Homeschooled children are very well socialized. Not only do you not have to worry about bullies, but you also don't have to worry about such abnormal socialization as only playing with children the same age.

Ok well first i would contact the teacher and set up a parent teacher conference with the principle and the other child and his parents. At the same time make the superintendent of the school aware of the problem. If this does not resolve the problem, i would then contact the local police department. Taking your child out of the school is not resolving or showing him how to handle the situation. Although if this is not resolved after the conference and contacting the superintendent, then i would look into a charter school. Everyone has there own preference but i honestly feel that taking him out of a social setting like school, will not allow him to handle situations like this in an appropriate way. As well as learn how to make friends and many other positive things that a school setting has. Well i hope this helps and good luck. Keep us informed!

From my own experience with being bullied as a kid, I would strongly suggest you find a place where your son can have positive experiences with his peer group, wether it be another school or clubs, classes or groups outside of school. Being in that hostile environment will only foster negativity in him and that type of mental anguish is SO pointless and unnecesary to a child's development.

S.,
My STBX husband was the at-home dad and homeschooled our daughter, from K to 5th grade on his own (just gathering his own materials) and the last year, 6th grade, with K-12. It's a very good program--basically an organized school program that you do at home, so there are far fewer worries about "Am I preparing my child, will I be able to do this?" You get a computer, internet hook-up, printer, workbooks, everything you need to go. ALSO, there's no issue with pulling your child out of school, because technically with K-12 they're technically enrolled in it as a cyberschool.

Homeschooling is big in PA, and there are lots of mom networks and events where all the kids get together: skiing at Shawnee, field trips to Great Wolf Lodge, museum trips, etc. Definitely worth looking into!

The first thing that people without experience in homeschooling think of is "socialization"--as if homeschooling means you lock the kid in the kitchen and they never get to see another human being! LOL! Actually the opposite is the case--you have your child with you and they get MORE socialization with a wider range of ages, rather than only 25 kids their same age and one authoritative adult! I've always found that homeschoolers were BETTER prepared socially--relate to adults better, don't dis younger children or afraid of older ones. Public Schools actually tend to reinforce NEGATIVE social behavior--look a the fact that your child is "socializing" with bullies, kids who treat him badly, etc.--the best person to teach your child social skills is a caring adult in small group situations, and that is YOU!

Best of luck.

S., I am so sorry to hear about this. I can relate as my sons were treated in a similar way by some neighborhood boys and some kids in my oldest son's class when we lived in Virginia. There are some really mean kids out there! Not a lot, but there are a few and then the other kids are afraid of getting bullied so they just go along with it to get approval of the bully. We moved to PA last year and since we have been here in PA my kids have had a great time. Lots of friends in our neighborhood. We came home from church one Sunday and there were at least 10 boys in our yard waiting for us so they could play with our 3 boys. They have made lots of friends at school and sports and have constant play dates. So I have seen it and know that it is not your son! Once you remove him from that situation I bet you will see a huge difference in his personality!

I would encourage you to get your son out of that environment. It is not good for his self esteem and self image. I have met a lot of people here in PA who homeschool and it sounds like a lot of fun! I also have several friends who homeschool in NC and TX and they all love it!

M.

S.,

I am so sorry to hear that your son is being bullied by another boy in the classroom. Nothing is worse than having your child in a defenseless state. There are a few things that you should consider though before pulling him out of the school.

First you said that for four years your son's teachers and other students have been mean to him. I have NEVER heard of child going through this in elementary or middle school. Before pulling him out, you may want to sit down with his teachers (past and present) and find out what your son was doing that made them dislike him so much. As parents, we never want to think that our child may be doing harm or wrong, but maybe what your son was telling you (all he did was turn off the bathroom light) isn't the whole story. Of course the teachers could be lying, but it may help you to gain insight into why this boy stabbed your son.

Secondly, I would call the other boy's parents and ask if you could meet with them. They obviously will be looking out for their son's best interest, but again, they may know something that your son didn't tell you. I'm not saying that your son deserved to be stabbed (NO ONE deserves that), but maybe their child felt provoked or threatened by your son. (I know this may sound harsh, but you should look at things from all sides).

Finally, I think you should call the superintendant and schedule a meeting. Explain what has been going on in the classroom and why you are concerned. Whether the other boy thought your son "deserved it" or not, stabbing another student is wrong on SO many different levels. If the school system is not helping him now while he is young, what will he do in the future when things go wrong? I wouldn't want to wait and find out! Hopefully the superintendant begins to resolve the issue, otherwise I would contact the police and a good attorney.

No child deserves to be bullied in school and I see no problem removing him from the school for a few days until you get some of this figured out, however, I think that by pulling him out for good without trying to solve the problem, you are showing him how to run from his problems instead of working them out. (Plus the bully "wins".) I hope this helped and good luck...I will be praying for you.

M.

Here is a website on Home Education.
http://www.Sheepfold.org

Your search will be inspiring when you see other families growing together.
http://www.schoolandstate.org

Blessings,
Patricia

The most important thing here is your son's well being, and since you are his mom, you are in charge of that.

A school he's been in for 4 years is not new. It sounds like there is no doubt in your mind from over the years that the entire faculty and student body are conspiring against your son. This may be 100% true. In which case, you should have met, or should meet with all the abusive teachers one on one to address all problems calmly, find out both sides to everything that has happened, and then file reports against them (if you haven't already) once you know for sure they were totally wrong and your son was totally right. Do the same with the principal, and report this to as high an authority as you can find. This school should be on red alert to the public, and held accountable for enabling and nurturing bullying.

Also, meet with the parents of the pencil stabber, and calmly let them know what their son did, ask them if they feel there is any misunderstanding, hear them out, and act accordingly thereafter regarding assessing of your son can possibly cope in school with him. Meet with the parents of some of the other kids who hate your son and are threatening to stab him in the neck, and peacefully ask their side with open ears. If they really are all people who are going to act violently to your son with no parents or faculty to stop them, then run far far away. And if you feel like all this interference from you will make things even worse, then get him out of there. Just make sure you know what's really going on.

Once you have established beyond a shadow of a doubt (sounds like you have already) that the school is breaking every bully policy in the book on every level, and your son doesn't have a prayer of a good education or happy school career, then ABSOLUTELY!. Pull him out. No one should go to a school like that.

Home schooling is nothing to fear, many families are successful with it and it does not limit his time for socialization in various activities and sports etc. He'll actually have more free time as the curriculum is shorter each day. You just dont' want him to live his whole life with the feeling he was removed from school because he was too scared to go there any longer, if it will erode his confidence. Try to leave on as positive a note as possible with him knowing he would get a better education that way.

Only you can know your son and know yourself enough to make this choice. If you really feel you can be an awesome teacher and be sure he learns everything he needs to and you can provide him with the other social activities which won't be automatically added into his routine, then that's your right, and you can do it.

But if you think he needs to overcome some challenges regarding confrontation and feeling victimized, he may need more public school, counseling, and patience. You will need to be on board with whatever this takes and willing to work toward the greater good, not just prove that everyone is out to get your son. Even if they are. It may not be worth the battle-remember, put your son first. If you're both spending too much time agonizing over the horrible school, I would pull him out. I hope you find all the help you need and that your son can find happiness!

I am very disappointed by this situation. I am not sure what kind of kid is the one that hurt your son, but it doesn't sound like he is a normal kid. You should talk to the teacher to see what happens. Maybe you should also talk to this kid's parents to let them know that he does. This is not normal behaviour.
I know you are scared for your son's well being, but if you take him out of school, you will need to find other ways to socialize. He needs to be around children and learn how to get along with them. You should try finding another school if this one is not a good fit. If not, the teacher needs to see how she can solve this problem, because they are supposed to protect the children while in school.
Good luck!

Well for one I would look into pulling him out educate yourself before you do so. But please be aware that even if you do pull him out, if you choose to do cyberschool at home you are basically doing public school at home. If you choose to officially homeschool, you can officially obtain protection if something happens. The best thing to do would be to pull him out join HSLDA, join a homeschool support group in your area. Find out if there is a anything that you need to do for the rest of the year. What law the schools abide by you may have different ones. Don't let them pressure you into something you're not sure of.
The laws depend upon the state, but I would definitely look into pulling him out. It's not as hard as you think.

To be honest with you, I think pulling him out isn't an option. You need to get to the bottom of the problem first. Personally, I would schedule a meeting with the principal, the classroom teacher, and the guidance counselor as soon as possible. Tell them your concerns and have documentation of what has happened and how it's affected your son. They may be seeing things in a different perspective than you, so together you can all work to resolve the ongoing issues. If things don't improve, then consider other options. Good luck!

Oh do I know about cruelty and bullying from children, from personal experience, and from seeing it with my own...
My son (now 23) was in Special Ed, for ADD, from 2nd grade on. He was immature for his age, and impulsive and had had problems with concentration, he was in a dream world. But personality wise, he was a sweet, good natured and friendly kid, and a follower, and was often taken advantage of and picked on. When he was in elementary school, he was in the same class every year, limited students and a teacher and teachers aide (9 students per class). His friends primarily were the children in his limited class, or the ones he made outside the school. But when he went to Middle School, the children were placed in hourly subject classes and he was dispersed amongst them all, though some of his classes were geared towards easier courses. Some of the other children got wind that he had been in Special Ed and were abusive and cruel, to the point of my son coming home one day at 12 years old, after the first week of 7th grade claiming he did not want to live with me anymore and wanted to move in with his Dad (my EX husband)IMMEDIATELY(who lived in another town 30 miles away). He did not want to go to school the next day and became so hysterical that I realized that it wasn't about ME, it clearly was about something that happened in school that week, cos he was fine all summer. I tried to drag it out of him and he denied it, but when he tearfully threatened to ride his bike to his Dad's at 2am and put a knife to his throat,if I didn't let him, I KNEW this was serious. I finally got the full story... a boy who was in his class and had been left back twice, (was therefore 2 yrs older and much BIGGER) had rammed him into his locker repeatedly and threatened him with "meeting him after school" the next day... he was going to be beat up by this big bully. I IMMEDIATELY went to the school the next day, armed with the boys name, and informed the guidance counselor, principal and school psychologist. They took the boy aside and warned him and I believe suspended him, and his parents were informed also. At that time, there had not been any school shootings yet, and the "no tolerance" policy was not inacted in schools. But the boy was warned to stay away from my son, and the rest of the school year went much smoother but my son always felt like an outcast, being that he had this history hanging over him. Many of the kids troubling him were from broken dysfunctional families, had alcoholic parents or just poor parenting. They had anger problems or were troubled themselves. I told my son that he could not run from his troubles, that there would be cruel kids wherever he went, there will always be bullies. He had to stand up to them or just ignore them. "Consider the source", they are ignorant and have to knock other people down to make themselves feel important. But that didn't help because when you are the one being bullied, and they call you names like "retard" or "stupid" (he wasn't), it is still hard to concentrate on schoolwork or forge good relationships with others. My divorce papers stated that my son could make the choice of which parent to live with at the age of 14, a clause that I did not want but I had a nasty divorce and I reluctantly had agreed to it. My ex-husband had been pounding my son with dreams of getting away from the mean kids by moving in with him for years, because he didn't want to pay me child support, and there was little I could do to fight this indoctrination and brainwashing done by his manipulative father. So when my son was 14, and about to enter HS, (9th grade), I allowed him to move in with his Dad and get a fresh start and new peers. None of the new kids knew of his past, and he was mainsteamed into the regular curriculum to save him from letting them know of his ADD. He privately took his Ritalin to keep on track. I think that he needed the new environment only under those circumstances, because we came from a small Long Island town and there was no other school to transfer to. There was only one Middle School and HS in our town and everyone knew each other.
If I had been able to home school, I believe that I would have done it, but his Dad blocked any chance of that.
My suggestion to you is to go to the authorities, IMMEDIATELY, take pictures, like the others said, and get as much documentation as possible. You want it on record. And the fact that the OTHER KIDS and TEACHERS are not helpful, it is obvious that it is not an ISOLATED bully that your son has to contend with. He can never be happy or do well in school if he has to constantly WATCH HIS BACK when he is walking around school. It is terrible to live in fear all the time. If you can transfer him, or home school, DO IT. His EMOTIONAL PSYCHE is the MOST IMPORTANT NOW, especially at this age, adolescence and puberty. I can see from your other letters that he is 11, TOUGH AGE. Hormones are raging. BUT COUNSELING would be VERY IMPORTANT right now also. He needs to work out the emotions that he has been dealing with, good or bad. Good luck. And keep us all posted on what you decided.

I don't want to voice my opinion on home-schooling (I'm not informed enough), but I definitely think you should go to the superintendent of the school. This isn't just calling names, this is physical trauma. The police should get involved as well, although they may tell you to go to the superintendent first. The teacher, principal, and other child's parents all need to be involved in a major meeting to discuss this. As far as any other kids, if this one child is the "leader", there may kids that like your son but are afraid to voice their opinion for fear of getting picked on next. If the leader is knocked down a few pegs, they may gather the courage to stand up to him. But I don't think you should just pull him out of school without fighting for what's right, your son's right to justice. Good luck.

I am a public school teacher and I am shocked and disappointed in the school system that they are not taking any form of bullying seriously!

Are there any other school in the area to consider, such as private schools or parochial schools? I have taught at public and private schools and I feel that a change of school and a fresh start might want to be considered.

Home schooling can be a very positive and rewarding experience for some families and for others very stressful to manage. Cyber school is also an option, where the schooling takes place at home but the curriculum and teaching are set up on a computer system. I would investigate both home school and Cyber school in depth and talk with other families who are currently involved with such programs. There is usually a Home Schooler Association, I believe.

Good Luck, you need to be your child's advocate.

DK

When you pull your son out of school make sure you take time to desensitize him from the whole school experience. Don't go right into homeschooling. He needs time to get all that out of his system and then start homeschooling. Take some time to sit and read together, play games, talk, etc. before starting in with school at home. I have heard lots of people who have pulled their kids out of school and do this. The kids need the time to get all of that out of their system, otherwise they may not want to do any schooling at home either.

Good Luck, M.

First I'm so sorry to hear that your son's teacher is slacking (an educator myself). It is her/his job to fill out the proper paper work so these kind of actions are documented and sent to the appropriate people.
Seeing that you are a sahm, cyber school is a good option. Check with some of you neighbors, they may be cyber schooling too. Then you can get the group discount when you take educational field trips.
The only issue I have with cyber schooling is the lack of peer social interaction. Granted at this point in time your son may be hesitant making friends considering what has happened in the classroom. So maybe you can request to have your son transfered to a different classroom or transfered to a different school.
Just something to think about, but your son should not be in his current classroom due to its environment.