I Cannot Get My 22 Month Old to Use a Spoon or a Plate

I had the same problem with my son. He is 20 months old and just started eating with a spoon. My husband had to get behind his highchair and position my son's hand on the spoon and show him the scooping motion and guide his hand from plate to mouth. After a few days of that he started to get the hang of it. I know it's frustrating!

Try feeding him at the table without the tray. Pull him right up to the table edge. Let him know that big boys and girls use a plate to eat off of. The spoon and fork will come. My son is a little older, but uses a spoon and fork when he feels like it.

A.

In the words of my ancient and wise pediatrician (who was literally my pediatrician and then doctor to my own), "He'll eat when he's hungry." I've been through some of the most stubborn eaters there are and believe me I understand the frustration of a child who thinks food is more fun to play with than to eat. Take away the plate and the spoon. Don't give him the option of dumping and wasting it. Keep his plate out of his reach on the table next to you and feed him a little at a time. He may shun your assistance for a while. But eventually he'll relize that this is how the food will be delivered and...when he's hungry, he'll eat...with your assistance. Then in a couple of weeks try handing him the spoon with a small amount of food on it to put in his mouth himself. Eventually he'll come around and you'll be able to reintroduce the plate to his place at the table. Just be consistant and remember...you have to be more stubborn than a toddler or it won't work.

He will start eating with utensils soon. Just let him eat off of his tray until then. Maybe give him a spoon or fork and no bowls or plates. See what happens. He will be fine.

Try putting his food on a decorative child's plate such as a disney character or his favorite animal. It worked with mine. Alot of kids go through that stage.

Not to frighten you, but my son was the same way. He'd take it off the plate, put it on the table and eat with his hands, when he was done he'd throw it all on the floor. Such big messes to clean up! When he was about 27 months old, we got his diagnosis of autism. Just because your son is doing this, doesn't mean he has autism. He could just have a sensory disorder (sounds worse than it is). It's sort of like he doesn't like the sense he gets from touching the metal silverware, or food's too hot on the plate so he puts it on the table to cool, OR maybe he just really likes the feeling of the food in his hands. Sensory disorders are very common, and that alone doesn't mean it would be autism. If you have concerns, you can talk to your pediatrician to see what he/she thinks. And don't worry, I know these messes are NO FUN, I've been there. but it gets better! My son, with autism, (with a lot of work, and a lot of help from therapists) is 3 and 1/2 now, has been using silverware and eating on plates, and NOT throwing his food or plates for about a year now. It's great!!!
I hope I didn't worry you, I'm in no way suggesting your son has autism, but maybe it's just sensory. If you want to talk more, feel free to email me and I'll tell you some ways we handled it. Have a blessed day!
M. Bryan ____@____.com

My daughter turned two in December. She doesn't sit in the high chair anymore, but at the table. She does eat off a plate, but doesn't really eat with a spoon or fork. She will hold her fork in her left hand and eat with her right hand. It takes time and isn't really anything to stress about. They all learn in their own time. My sixteen, five, and four year old have all figured it out. Good luck!

Hey S.! I think just about every mom has experienced feeding issues like this, so you're not alone :-) I suggest you work on hand control during meals. Train him to keep his hands in his lap during meals while you feed him the correct way. Demonstrate, while his hands are folded in his lap, how to use a spoon, how the food stays on the plate, etc. Then slowly give him freedom to hold the spoon/fork, use it to get food off of his plate, and finally to put the food in his mouth. Once he has mastered the art of using utensils, refuse to let him eat any other way. He will quickly learn that when he's hungry he must eat using proper table manners.

As with all training, it can be painful and tedious. However, if you stick to your guns, he will come around to your way. On a side note, teaching hand control at an early age has many benefits. It minimizes the need for correction for touching issues while shopping, at Grandma's house, in doctor's offices, etc. We taught self control to our children and it was such a blessing to us and those around us! Best wishes!

Warmly - J.

Have you tried putting him in a booster seat sitting at the table with you? It will be messy to clean up for a while, but maybe he needs to transition out of the "baby" stage and eat at the table with everyone else. His tray might be his own space that he feels he can do whatever he wants with - and that's where his food goes! But if he's at the table, he might see no one else dumps food there and they all use plates.

I would just put the food on his tray and put no plate their at all. He is going through a stage that will pass. I have had four children all of them where like your sone. So I just gave them finger food that would not make a mess and let him have at it. After he see that not the way the rest of the family eats he will want his plate back if that does not work than when you try it for a couple of month just try putting the plate back in front of him.

Try sitting down in front of him with your plate and fork. Talk to him and tell him that Mommy wants you to use your fork/spoon in this manner -- make it a game and hopefully he will respond. Continue to sit with him several times and see if this works!

I know what has helped my kids and it was going out and buying special forks and spoons their size with something interesting on them like animals or cookie monster on them. I tried the wavy onces and don't waste time or money on forks or spoons that aren't just likes your but with something on them. Those wavy ones by some baby brand first off the forks don't poke the food and the spoon is too deep it gets frustrating for small hands therefore they give up when it's just easier to use their hands then badly shaped childrens eating ware. I also would rather give my kids more of something then over whelm them with lots on the plate when learning. It's one bite at a time he'll get it just give him time when my boys were 22months they didn't master spoons and forks it takes time he will want to use them. Also remember to get something that's not to thin handled either griping is important and don't expect him to adopt to adult eating ware with ease either my youngest is 4 1/2 and he's just now getting better at using adult table ware. Size is important.

dont stress with the plate. just feed him things he can eat off his tray he wont be eating on the table at 12yrs if he dosn't do it now lol. and as far as fork and spoon, just give him a fork , its easier to master. You just stab food with a fork, a spoon you have to actually balance.

I'm a real older Mom & Grandmother, but I did raised 3 boys that were all different. One thing I know for sure, they will eat the way you want them to if they get hungry enough. Maybe reward him (big time) when he does it right!Not every solution works for everybody, but it did work for me.

I have been there to with 3 boys and 2 girls well i dont know what to tell you but maybe award him with something thats he wants if he dont do that .maybe that might help my childern are teenages now 15,, 16 boys and 17 ,girl and 19 boy that only thinks for his self only and 21 yr.old girl that has twin girls now well i dont really now about all this stuff i taking parerting class on teenages.good luck S. r from your friend B. B..

Hello S.,

I have a 17 month old son and he was doing the same thing 3 months ago. I don't know if your family sit down together for meals, but if you do he might just want to be up to the table and not be on the high chair. I usually sit next to him for meal s but I thought I was change things up one day. I seat my son next to his dad because that who he like to be around most of the time and he was a different baby, he ate and he did not dump his food, he was so happy to be at the table with us. I would just take the tray off and pull him up to the table. I hope that helps

Don't stress it!! My son just started taking intrest in using a fork to feed himself which I didn't think was ever going to happen!! Now my daughter was feeding herslef with silverware about the age of 1!!!

Good luck!
S.