I Don't Care So Why Are You Telling Me?

Updated on May 06, 2011
C.F. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
20 answers

I am fed up with my in-box at work being full of junk, and, unfortunately, it's not the kind you can just click a button and not receive anymore. I am talking about e-mail from co-workers (I work in a large school district) that I am forced to manually delete several times a day. For example, I am constantly innundated with e-mails letting me know that so-and-so, a teacher or counselor whom I've never met, has a husband whose great-aunt died. What a shame. You know what, though? I don't care!! And I know that they don't just put everyone's sad news out there because, thankfully, no one had to rifle through the announcement regarding my grandfather's passing. So either the secretaries consult the people and ask if it's OK to send out this e-mail, and the people for some bizarre reason say yes OR the grieving people ask the secretary to send out this notification. Why? For what purpose? To have a pity party? Come on!
Does anyone else have to deal with this or is it just school districts? Or even just mine? Not to be insensitive, but, good God, why do we all have to learn about someone's private business?

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Featured Answers

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Wow. I think it's so you can know that people are going through hard times.
It happens to us all, and some of us like to send cards and emails telling people we are thinking about them when they are dealing with a death.
I really don't think it should be that big of a deal to just hit delete.

13 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

You don't care about the constant e-mail notification & I don't care that you have to deal with this.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

M..

answers from St. Louis on

Wow, harsh. I think you should email them back and say, "Your family memeber died and I DONT CARE, do you want me to throw you a pity party?". That should shut them up right?

9 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Maybe they think that the people who do know so and so would like to know so they can be there to support him or her through their difficult time, but not knowing who knows who, and being much easier for someone to just send one mass email, they figure those who do not know the person will just delete the message and move on. I really do not see the big deal personally. It is annoying yes, but a little thing to deal with to be sure others get the info they need.

9 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

This bothers you enough to put up a post on here about it?

Wow. Just... wow.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

Is it really THAT big of a deal? I think it's normal when you work in any huge company.

I'm guessing the sender of the emails probably doesn't have time to pick & choose who to send the email to, so a mass email goes out to everyone.

4 moms found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

so easy to just hit 'delete'

4 moms found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes, innundated with the 'i don't care' emails, envelopes passed around with cards taking donations for whatever, or wishing whomever to get well, etc., bring in food for every. freaking. body's birthday, oh, plus a card, and maybe a little token gift. Seriously, enough. I'm done.

I told everyone unequivocally, do not bring in food for my birthday.

I feel your pain. I sound like a real sourpuss scrooge, but it gets overwhelming, it really does.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh so its not just my workplace where e-mails and envelopes go around to collect for so n so's great great uncle or 2nd cousin's passing. I don't understand it because the coworker usually doesn't even know the distant relative that passed. Just know its not just school districts dealing with this

2 moms found this helpful
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R.L.

answers from Roanoke on

I can relate somewhat. I work in a place where if a mass email goes out from our central office, I get it. Then the admin in my building fwds it to everyone in the building, so I get it again. Then it's forwarded by my boss's boss to her underlings, then my supervisor sends it to his. By the time I check my email I have 4-5 copies of the same email waiting in my inbox.

I am well acquainted with the delete button.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Answer back a few time what you've told us: "I DON'T CARE", please take me off anything personal about my co-workers."

I suspect some of your co-workers probably already know this about you. If that is the case and the mail continues....DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!

Blessings.....

2 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I think a lot of people share private business because they think their stuff is more important to the world than anything else and they want to be sure to call attention to themselves somehow. Some people cant stand to be the last to know something and seek out info to share first before anyone else. Some people get a feeling of importance when announcing other peoples private stuff. We are a selfish greedy people and it takes some longer to see how annoying and out of place they are. Why dont you report this stuff as spam and see what happens,, Be prepared to look for a new job tho,,(o:

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I am astounded at your attitude toward death notices. Birthdays, hmm, so-so. But death notices, come on.....where's your sense of compassion?

Perhaps you should have shared your own loss.....some people do care about offering sympathy & empathy towards others. They don't do it to make themselves feel good or thru a sense of obligation/duty. Some people actually put the well-being of others before themselves. Peace.

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

I too work for a large school district and receive similar emails. I always feel just a little guilty deleting... but I don't know them and I hardly know the person they're related to that works at my school!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I do not like that either, but I am sure you will get slammed for this.
Shouldn't it be limited to professional issues?

1 mom found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Asheville on

Oh I am so with you, but I just delete. I really hate the envelope that comes around with the card and the 'donation' expectations. At one of the schools I go to, the envelope is hand delivered by students with a check list attached to the front so the students can check off who they have seen and who has 'donated'. I go to three different schools with my job and this is done in some form or another at all of them. I have two children, my husbands job, hours and pay were downsized, we are about to have to move in with MIL because we cant keep up with the housepayment (and no- we don't have a single credit card and only one car payment- we just don't make much- and it's only a 2Bed, 1Bath house)
I can't freakin afford to buy everyone in the world a bday present, sympathy bouquet or whatever! I can't even keep my own head above water! BUT, I just smile and say, "It's not a good time. Maybe next time." AAUGH

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've honestly never experienced this or heard of it before. Just remember to empty your delete folder to make enough room for next week's announcements.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I get junk mail at work.. no clue why. I made a rule for certain words in the subject so the mail goes straight to my delete box. I was able to do it on Outlook and when we had Lotus Notes or similar system. I think I can even do it on my AOL email. Look under Tools for Rules and Alerts. Then you can either create a folder for that stuff to take a look later in case something does pop up that you want to know or just have it go straight to delete folder.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

My opinion: if it is pertinent to business, then yes, people should know. If "Kelsey will be out of the office this week due to a death in her husband's family", I'd be glad to know that Kelsey won't be available. If Kelsey's going to be around, then it doesn't need to be sprayed out to one and all; if Kelsey wants to come in and share about husband's great-uncle Herbert dying, that's her choice.

If it were a teacher grieving because someone close had passed away, that would be more pertinent. Especially if that teacher was in class and just couldn't deal with another "How are you doing?" question. I know from my own experience as a preschool teacher that sometimes, in the midst of family crisis like death, I just need to be able to focus solely on teaching and not my personal life when I'm in the classroom.

Maybe there needs to be some "sympathy triage" to decide what gets through to being made "news" and what we just let people decide personally who to tell?

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

They send them (the grief e-mails) out at my office -- it is a law firm. I get much much more trivial e-mails though from my boss...who decides it is worth an e-mail to tell us we need to make our most recent brief's "conclusion sing." Yes- that is the whole darn e-mail message....Seriously! I have told him many times it is unnecessary and makes it difficult to actually find meaningful e-mails that need to be addressed...he really doesn't care (or is unable to stop himself I guess).

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