"I DON'T WANT TO WEAN" Cries Baby and MOMMY!!

Updated on August 23, 2008
D.H. asks from Rochester, NY
22 answers

The day is here, my baby boy is 11 mos, now, and he only really nurses before naps and nighttime. It's more for comfort, for baby and me. I love the bonding, I really do, but I know he'll be 1 year in a month, should I start weaning now? Or should I just let baby and me still have our time together before he sleeps?!? I think it's sad for me because this means my BABY is no longer a baby, it REALLY goes way too FAST!!

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So What Happened?

I am so happy with the overall responses I have received!! What started the "wean" talk, was my mom, she would say,"He's almost one, isn't he off the boob yet??" She's one of "those" moms, very embarressed when I nurse out in public, makes a big commotion. Well I will be happy to tell her, and all of the supporting moms out there, I AM NOT READY TO WEAN, AND SO I WILL KEEP NURSING until baby no longer wants to be nursed, until then, I will enjoy our beautiful time together =)
Thanks again all!!

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D.A.

answers from Albany on

Why must you wean?

I don't do solids until 12 months to protect against food allergies and to space children, and after that I let them decide. One of my children I weaned at 4 1/2.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Rochester on

D.~

I don't think you should have to wean until you are ready to wean. My sister didn't wean her daugther completely until she was THREE. I weaned my son about one-ish but not completely and only b/c HE was ready..so you go girl and don't let anyone tell you you are wrong!!

M.

3 moms found this helpful

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S.J.

answers from Hartford on

so don't wean! if you don't want to, and your baby doesn't want to, then don't!

there's no "rule" that says your baby needs to wean at one year. this is an arbitrary time limit set up by our culture. modern american parents tend to put a lot of stock in our babies being "independent"- i.e., able to go to sleep by themselves, play alone, eat unassisted, and wean. none of these things are really what's natural for a baby human. babies like to be soothed to sleep, play with others, have interaction during mealtimes, and nurse into toddlerhood. you've already gotten a response with the stats from the world health organization, which is an international org, but did you know that the american academy of pediatrics, the national institute of health, and the center for disease control, which are all american organizations, recommend breastfeeding until AT LEAST a year, and then continuing for as long as is desired by mother and baby? the FDA has taken a stand on the benefits of extended nursing as well, as a foundation of healthy nutrition for life.

in other words, keep nursing until you and baby feel that it is emotionally and physically the right time. my dd will be 14 months in a few days, and she and i still nurse in the morning and night, and peppered throughout the day when she wants to. none of these sessions are usually more than 10 or 15 mins, and usually more like 5 mins, but the point is that i am still providing important nutrition, immunity, and bonding.

trust your instincts, NOT THE CALENDAR.

best,

S.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Albany on

I agree with many of the others who responded. Let your son lead the way. My first weaned himself at 15 months and my second just turned 1 and is still nursing. I plan on letting him nurse as long as he wants to. You and your son will know when it is time. Follow your instincts.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Scranton on

I agree with the other Moms. Allow your baby to tell you when it is time. Enjoy every second of it, you'll know when its right to wean. Best of luck.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

I actually tried weaning at 12 months, never happened LOL My daughter will be 2 sept. 3rd. My hubby supports me and I am only going to nurse until she is 2. Plus shes really healthy because of it =) You don't have to wean at 1, she only nurses in the morning and before bed and occasionally in the afternoon, and it is more for comfort but I definately still have milk lol private message me if you need someone to talk to =)

3 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

I know exactly how you feel and I say do it for as long as the baby wants to. Even though he's going to be a year, breast milk is still good for him. If you feel pressure to wean and aren't getting the support you need to continue, go to a La Leche League meeting in your area. They are fantastic.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Scranton on

D.,
Is there a reason that you need to wean? Our bodies were designed to provide milk for our babies if they want it. It is certainly ok to nurse beyond a year, and it really sounds like you do not want to wean. It is our culture that says nursing longer than a year is not acceptable, not our bodies. Please feel free to email me and discuss this if you would like.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Albany on

If you feel it is time to wean your baby, then do so. If not, then hold off. Mothers milk is best for baby, so let him enjoy it while it is available. I've known women who breastfed till 2 years, even 3 years of age. Yes, it was quite odd for me to see a woman pumping milk for her 3 year old, but it worked.
Just do what you feel is right and go with it.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Hartford on

If you and your baby aren't ready yet than don't wean yet. You'll regret it. I nursed my middle son until he was ready to give it up and so was I and he ended up nursing just at night until he was about 2 maybe 2 1/2 and that was our time together and comforting for both of us. There's nothing wrong with nursing your child for comfort and people shouldn't feel free to ask you questions like that because the decision to nurse and how long really is a private matter between you and your husband. 11 months is little still. Some people are under the impression that nursing is simply for food, it's not, there are so many other things involved with nursing, healthy things. Keep up the good work mom.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

You're going to get lots of advice from people saying its time to wean and that you're being selfish, that its all about you, he doesnt need it anymore, etc...DO NOT LISTEN! This is YOUR baby and NOONE can tell you when its time to wean. It is perfectly normal for babies to continue nursing beyond a year. The World Health Organization recommends not weaning ANY SOONER than 2 years. I personally believe in "Child-led-weaning", letting THEM decide when it no longer works for them. Our babies know what they need! Babies nurse for comfort, yes, but they are also still receiving the benefits that only breastmilk can offer and that should make you proud! I say sit back and enjoy this special time with him, because you are right...it goes by all too quickly.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi D., I think you already answered this question with your heading. If your not ready then don't.. When the time is right for both of you, you'll know.

3 moms found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi D.,
I remember when my little one(now 5), started to ean himself down to those two feedings morning and night. I was so sad. I too loved that bond and the few minutes of silence he and I shared at the night feeding. Nothing is so precious and PURE!!! I see nothing wrong with still doing them as long as your child is still needing it, for comfort or food. He is still a baby. Cherish these last few weeks of nursing. Sounds like he will wean himself, as he is moving in that direction. If he is wanting more nursing than the naps and bedtime, then wean off those. But keep the comfort/nap/sleep ones. It is just my opinion, but I think nursing is a precious time that goes too quickly. Good luck and trust your heart. Have a good day.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Albany on

Hi D.,

As with any advice there is always opinions, facts and stuff you didn't want to hear.

You are his mother and only you and your husband should be making this decision.

Pray about it, read about, talk to your husband about it, and follow your heart!

Blessing to you and your family during this time. It should be rejoiceful, not full of anxiety!

Cast your cares!!

C. N.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Albany on

Hey Lady! You have awesome life-- don't make yourself sad or your baby sad -- let him nurse. He's only 11 months old! I nursed for 16 months - then 22 months-- then 18 months. For each one it just stopped one day. Treasure the moments. Because you're right -- you definitley want your baby to stay a baby!!!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Buffalo on

I let my son lead the way. He only nursed when he was tired or needed some comfort from about 10 months on. When I denied him, it turned into huge cry fests for the both of us. So I decided he'll stop when he wants to. Right after he turned 18mns I laid down with him and he pushed me away. So I covered up, and that was that. So much easier that way. Hope it goes well whatever you decide to do!

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J.A.

answers from Syracuse on

I would have let mine nurse to 2 yrs.. which is the surgeon generals reccommendation.

He gave it up at 7 mo however...

I have known some to nurse to over 5 yrs old.. this is excessive I think....

But there is nothign wrong going to two years.. then you shoud wean because he will start school the year after that or pre-k... or do more activities away from home and you. Let him dictate in the meantime.

But that is just how -I- see things.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.P.

answers from Glens Falls on

I was the same way with my first, I let him self wean and we nursed before nap and bedtime he was 18 months, He is going to be 3 in november and there are no problems. Follow your momy instinct!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Good for you to continue nursing!!! My little "stinkpot" weaned herself on April 7 (obviously it broke my heart, I remember the date!!) she literally spit me out and that was that. boo hoo! She's 15 months now and I still miss is dearly.

It's good for him...and you...enjoy it because as you already mentioned, it goes way too fast.

Best wishes,
J.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Hartford on

Please don't wean!!! There is no reason to wean, and you both still love nursing together! I nursed my first son until 22 months, but it was only before naps and bedtime during the second year. He even called it 'nappy'. Keep the love going!! :).

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Scranton on

I think that you should start to wean him. There are other ways you can bond with baby. I like to rock my baby to sleep that is our way of bonding. I would try either rocking with him or just singing to him. I hope I helped I am kinda of new at this. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with him still wanting to nurse. but if he is not wanting it as often I would wean him.

A. =)

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

Good for you! I am in a similar predicament with my mother in law who is French and Spanish (2 countries with very low breastfeeding rates). I will continue to nurse my now 14 month old until she is ready to stop. I have gathered info from La Leche League to show her because honestly she knows so little about it and it is very cultural. Have you considered taking your mother to a meeting or telling her that the US Surgeon General as well as the World Health Organization recommend nursing for at least 2 years. The American Association of Pediatrics recommend it for AT LEAST 1 year but encourage more and that there is no advised cut off date for weaning. The average age of weaning worldwide is 4 years! Perhaps if your mother understood the numerous benefits she would be more understanding.

Best of luck and stick to your guns!

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