I Feel Broken :(

My sister had 5 miscarriages in a row in between her kids...she felt the same as you...

I had 2, 1 in between all 3 of my kids...

I know it is hard to deal with!

I am sorry you are having to deal with this right now!

Big Hugs!

My due date is coming close for a baby I miscarried a few years ago. Miscarriage is really, really, hard, and I don't know if you ever completely get over it. That is a baby that you loved with all your heart, and you have to mourn the loss, not only of that life, but also of the future that you had hoped for that you don't get to have. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
My miscarriage came after we had a positive screening NT test and a positive confirmation via CVS that our son had Down Syndrome. During my CVS test to diagnose the genetic issues, our doctor told me that it wasn't JUST down syndrome but also very abnormal organ development. We miscarried the day after my test results came back. Even though I had some warning, it still hurt, and still does. In some ways, it was good to have a root cause for the miscarriage. There wasn't anything that I could do to prevent it. Just because you had one miscarriage, you may FEEL broken emotionally and physically, but it does not mean you ARE BROKEN, or that you can't have more healthy pregnancies. Talk to your OB and find out if there's any testing that you can do to find out what the root cause is - genetic, hormonal, or just bad dumb luck.
In the end of my story, I'm glad to say that we waited about 9 months after our miscarriage and got pregnant with a healthy baby girl! She's almost 1 now, and she's the sunshine in our family.
All I can advise to get through this is spend some good cuddle time with your 3year old, give your body and heart some time to physically recover. And try again if and when you're ready.

You poor sweet heart. My love goes out to you. If you can just understand that trouble doesn't last always and don't ever give up your dream but it may need to be modified. Give yourself time to heal physically and emotionally. Sometimes these things happen. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you when bad things happen to you. You are not alone. Again give yourself time to heal especially in your emotions. I'll be praying for you.

Oh sweetie my mama heart aches for you. I am sorry you are going through this as I type. I wish I could jet on over to be with you and hold your hand and let you cry and talk.

Your emotions are normal. I don't think you are broken. Miscarriages happen for a lot of reasons. Women have them in between healthy pregnancies...they happen all the time.

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 10 weeks and last one at 5 months..a little boy. 3 healthy babies in between. My last one was 2 years ago...I bled a little and then quickly went into labor and delivered him on my bathroom floor and passed out and was taken away in an ambulance. It was sad...we were all so sad. We mourned the loss of that little guy in our family. Right now I am looking at an ultrasound picture up on my wall that I had just hung early that morning before losing him. I would love to have a fourth but I am 36 and our baby is now 5. I have closed that chapter in my life and have made peace with it. That doesn't mean I don't still ache at times...especially when emotions are brought to the surface when others(like you) are going through it. It is painful...heartwrenching and sad.

Talk to your doctor on Monday. Tell the Dr. about your feelings and fears. Ask the doctor about your health. Then talk to your husband. Try waiting awhile for emotions not to be so raw. Then approach again the subject of another baby with knowledge and time.

I wish you the best. I am sending you love from Northern Cali!!

My sister had 4 miscarriages. It took her 5 years to have a successful pregnancy.. and now she has 4 kids! I know another couple who couldn't have children. After 17 years of marriage, she had her surprise baby. I also know couples who have never been able to have children, some adopted and others lived childless marraiges. But they lived their lives to the fullest and are happy. You never know what is in store for you and your family. All I can say is I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you can have some peace and support. Do not feel like this is your fault or that you are broken or that it is a sign you shouldn't have children. Some things cannot be helped no matter how wonderful we are :)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a miscarriage after 4 successful pregnancies. I was 39. I was about 5-6 weeks along and everything seemed find then all of a sudden I started bleeding. I often think about that child and even had a name picked out. Even though I know raising another child would have been difficult I still miss her. I just know deep in my heart that something was wrong and she couldn't be with me this time, her baby soul just wasn't ready. Although I always loved children especially babies I found that i treasured babies so much more and never took them for granted again.

I'm so sorry, L.. I have had a similar experience. I'm don't have any words of wisdom, just empathy. I know that during my miscarriages, it seemed like everyone was having babies super-easy. I bowed out of some baby showers because I knew I'd have a meltdown if I was around such happiness when I was suffering so much. I found writing a letter to the children who died therapeutic and a way to share my grief and love with them. Take your time before/if you try again. Take care of yourself as best you can. I was quite surprised how many women I knew had had similar experiences but never shared before I said something - then everyone shared their tough times and were a great source of support. There is nothing wrong with you - about 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. You are not alone. My thoughts are with you.

As an aside, when you feel like you can handle it, see how your husband is doing. Both of my miscarriages affected my husband differently, and for one he wanted to talk and one he didn't....

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a hard, devastating space to be in. Give yourself a lot of time to grieve, alone or with very trusted people. Please make sure your doctor or gynecologist gives you good pain relief medication, because you shouldn't be suffering physically on top of your emotional grief.

Just because it didn't come as a surprise to you doesn't make it hurt any less. I know this personally. It is a death, and you have every right to grieve this as a death.

Also know that life does surprise us. My second miscarriage got me into counseling, which changed my life so much for the better. After my third miscarriage, I was pretty destroyed emotionally and convinced I couldn't have a baby. A couple months later, without trying to conceive, I was suprised to discover I was pregnant with our son, who is now four and a half. That said, we've taken precautions not to get pregnant again because I don't want to ever have another miscarriage in my lifetime.

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time, L.. There is a candle in my home lit for you, and I ask blessings of peace, comfort, care and love for you. Please take good care.

H.

This is all too fresh right now. In a few months you will be objective again. My best friend just had her daughter at 42 after 7 years of failed attempts and miscarriages. Her son was equally hard to conceive. I had my first baby at 35! Don't feel "done for good" at 33. Try to be good to yourself and heal well. Don't worry about the future. Breathe. You will be OK. Sorry for your hardship.

Please go to Mend.org. I pray you will be encouraged by the stories written there, and perhap will be able to share you own.

I know about mend.org from personal experience myself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm So sorry for your loss. I have lost three pregnancies. It is a real loss and give yourself time to mourn. I did have testing forced on my md by my demands. It showed I have a genetic error metabolizing folate called mthfr. It's fairly common and can be treated. I would push for bloodwork. I wish I had trusted my gut and had tests run after my second loss. I'm so sad even now daily for the babes I'll never hold. Try not to let what silly things other people say get to you. People mean well but only another woman who has suffered a loss can really understand. I prayed and journaled and let myself get angry then sad. It will get better. You are in my prayers for peace and rest.
J.

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I'm glad you have this outlet to get it out. I hope you also have supportive people in your life that you can lean on. It's ok to ask for help. It will get better in time. I know you said you feel broken. Pray for healing. It is not your fault. You will be able to concieve again, when the time is right. You grive this in any way you need to. Don't let anybody make you feel like you aren't doing it right. Grieving is a very personal thing and everyone does it in thier own way, in thier own time.

L., I'm sorry you are going through this. But honey, really and truly, don't take this as a sign that you aren't meant to have children. My SIL had multiple miscarriages - 3 or 4 that we know of. Then when she was 8 months pregnant with her son, she was mugged in her neighborhood and dragged on her stomach (nice neighborhood too). Talk about frightened! We all called him our miracle baby. She had a second baby a year later.

So yes, losing babies happens like it did with her. But she worked closely with her doctors to manage her reproductive health and figure out her hormones, which was an issue in keeping her pregnancies viable. Ask your OB to send you to a specialist in this regard. It helped my SIL. I believe it can help you, too.

Hugs to you in this difficult time~
Dawn

I'm sorry.
I understand your pain.
I had 3 miscarriages before I had our son.
It's heartbreaking and devastating.
I don't know what to tell you except you will know if you have it in you to try again.
I think if my son hadn't been born, my husband would not have been able to go through it all again. He couldn't stand to see me going through it over and over.
You'll know.
Allow yourself to heal after this--physically and emotionally.
Sending strength.
God bless.

L., I am so sorry. There are so many countless stories of women who had multiple miscarriages before having healthy children. My grandmother had my father at 41. My closest friend's mother had three miscarriages before having two healthy girls (now in their 30s). I wouldn't take your miscarriage as a sign. Your are getting pregnant, that is an incredible feat and so difficult for so many. Since you already have a child, you no doubt are associating an entire lifetime with the news of your pregnancy. This is impossible not to do, but there are so many millions of little steps that have to happen before there is a healthy baby in your arms. It's not a failure if each step isn't reached. This is why the birth of a child feels like such a miracle. What you are going through is devastating, I would allow yourself to feel that, but also know that this is one of the outcomes in the great gamble of building a family. It's such an impossible balance of being able to move on and mourning. You must be so incredibly raw right now, give yourself time before you even contemplate whether or not you have it in you to try again. Hug your sweet child often for comfort. I'm a believer in going out and fighting for what you want, but only you will know if that comes at the cost of what you already have to cherish. I hope that whatever happens, you find peace in your heart. Love to you and your family.

Sweetpea...I am sorry for your loss. My mama heart cries for you. Take a big breath...cry as much as you need to. Know that many of us are thinking and praying for you. Let as many people surround you as you can handle...cry on their shoulders.

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I had one too about six years ago, it does get easier as time passes.

I am sorry for all of this. I have had 3 pregnancies, only 2 births. MY baby stopped growing at 4 12 weeks and I mc when I was 7 weeks. I had a 3 year old. The mc itself was fairly easy, it was the emotional part that got me. I was able to conceive my first using bc, and my second was the week we tried. And then I lost the baby. I for some reason, was able to handle it better than I thought. I think it was bc I had a child already. Well trying to get pregnant again was horrible. Tried for a over a year and gave up. We were going to adopt through foster care. I was pregnant and did not know it. I was worried the entire pregnancy. I was able to focus on the child I had. I hope you feel better soon and I will pray for you.
Oh, and part of me kept thinking that I would rather this happen than deliever a still born like my friend did. That helped me focus a little and you just have to take each day as it comes, maybe even each hour.

Oh hun, I am so sorry . My husband's cousin had about 3 miscarriages until she got pregnant with her daughter. I know for her, it was unplanned, and a surprise. She had stopped trying, and had kind of given up . My thought is to give yourself some time, as well as to lay off this pressure you have about yourself, and the guilt.

My best friend is trying to conceive as well, I know that you are not alone in how you feel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Oh, L.. I am shedding tears with you. I miscarried one of our twins at 9-10 weeks and it was so disheartening. Despite the fact I only knew that little precious one for only 10 weeks, it was still my sweet little baby, and I loved it immensely.
Miscarriage is something to mourn. Allow yourself the freedom to grieve. In the meantime, pour yourself out on that sweet daughter of yours.
Some of the things we did to help ourselves through that mourning period was to name the baby. We also bought a potted plant and buried her ultrasound under it in a plastic bag. This allowed us to say our farewells to someone we couldn't say farewell to.
Praying for peace and healing for you.

Hi L.-

I am so sorry for your loss. I had 3 miscarriages before my daughter and then one inbetween my daughter and my son. I totally understand the sadness and in my case envy and anger that other people were pregnant and not me.
They did a bunch of blood work and testing and found that my Progesterone levels were really low and that was causing problems with the implantation process. That said, one of the miscarriages was at 13 weeks and the other was just a bizarre issue with the sac. Anyway, please ask for testing and see if that might be able to help.

Please know that you are in my prayers and you have the support of all of us around you. Take care of yourself.

I am so sorry you're going through this. Please don't feel like you did something wrong.
I highly recommend the website Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope (www.facesofloss.com) It's a great place to share your story (if you choose) and to connect with others with similar experiences to your own.
Take the time to cry and mourn this loss. :(

I read this story a while back about the journey to get to parenthood/motherhood. I know you have a daughter so it is not the very beginning for you but each pregnancy is a different journey. Sometimes it doesn't go the way you want and that is nerve racking. This story is related to adoption however, I did read one on other trails of pregnancy (not fun stuff). I know this is difficult. I wish you the best. I think it helps sum up feelings pretty well.
http://paulandamyadopt.blogspot.com/2011/01/australia.html

Big, big hugs, Mama. I had four miscarriages before my first (born when I was 22) and one right before my third (born when I was 39). It never gets easier, and it doesn't matter how early it happens. I remember feeling broken, or like god must be mad at me. Neither was true. If you do decide to try again, I hope you get that rainbow baby you're seeking.

I am so sorry for your loss. What you are experiencing is not that uncommon. It is called Secondary Infertility, I believe. I know that the Zouves Fertility Center in Daly City, CA. and the Pacific Fertility Center in San Francisco, CA. are both quite advanced in helping women with this issue. My thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am going through a major loss right now as well. My water broke with my last pregnancy at 15 weeks and I was on bedrest trying to save her for 3 months before she passed away at 28 weeks. Her original due date is actually today and I know it is not going to be an easy one. I never realized that losing a baby you have never met can be so hard. I have spent a lot of time on babycenter.com support groups. They really helped me get through my bedrest and loss. I really encourage you to go to a support group with other women who know what you are going through. It is very cathartic to write out your feelings.

I understand your feelings about being broken. My water broke early two out of three of my pregnancies. Fortunately, the first time it was at 31 weeks and my preemie son was able to survive. I really wanted a daughter, but I am too scared that this will happen again if I tried to get pregnant. I have two great sons and the 3 months of bedrest was hard on the family, especially the month being away from them in the hospital. Having an early miscarriage does not mean you are broken, though. It is very common, but heartbreaking none the less. Both my sister and I had miscarriages at about 7 weeks and also have two healthy children. My sister in law's first two pregnancies were an ectopic then a 12 week loss. Now she has three beautiful girls. Don't give up if you want another child.