I Hate Breastfeeding.

Then it may not be what is best for her, because what is best for both of you is what is best for her.

I feel ya! I hated it too. I did it for as long as I could stand it with both my boys, but I did not enjoy it like I hear many moms say they do.
Hang in there :) just wanted you to know you're not alone!!

It's painful, time consuming, itchy, and did I say PAINFUL?!!!

I'm sorry. To be truthful, I don't see it as being better. I don't care what the supposed research has done. I've seen sickly breastfed babies and healthy formula fed babies and vice versa. If it's not an incredible bonding experience for both mother and child, it's not worth it for any supposed benefits.

My doctor told me a stressed momma brestfeeding is not as good as a mom not as stressed bottlefed.

Well, if you hate it Molly, don't do it then! Love and bond with your baby the way that makes you feel the best!

(I nursed all three of my kids, now they're 18, 16, 14, and whether or not they were BF babies is the very LAST thing on my mind. If I'd hated it, I wouldn't've done it.)

:)

Yes. It sucked. I hated every second of it, yet tortured myself into exclusive pumping for far too long and got all nutty in the head because of it. Switched to formula and instantly became a better mother which resulted in a happier family (including my son). I didn't even bother to try with my second child because I knew it was the most unhealthy choice for everyone involved.

Yes, I can admit it isn't easy. Of course, the lactation consultant at the hospital where I delivered/took the nursing class had everyone thinking it was a breeze and the most enjoyable thing anyone could ever do. Liar. Maybe for some people but not everyone.

Do you hate it or are you tired? If you really hate it, then don't do it. BF is supposed to be as much about bonding as it is about nutrition. Formulas today are pretty good, so if it's stressing you immensely, then switch!

BTW... how's she doing? Congratulations!

I hated breastfeeding. *So I didn't do it!*
Tried it with my son. Hated it.

Didn't even bother with my daughter.

I have 2 healthy kids that have THRIVED on formula, never had ear infections and are rarely sick.
So I'm still trying to figure out exactly why "breast is best"? Because I can't imagine my kids doing any better than they already are!

There is so much pressure to do it. If it isn't working for you, consider stopping. If you are happier, baby will be too.

Awe... let it out, babe!
no, it is not easy. (tho i did find it easier than sterilizing bottles and making formula)

it IS exhausting. Breastfeeding moms should get flowers every day.
and it can be really isolating if u let it! i was shameless, and BF everywhere comfortably. (if you dont like it, dont look)

I am ADD, so having to stop what i am doing ALL THE TIME and sit quietly while she nursed mad me a little crazy!!! I felt like i was being given a time out! LOL!!
Now she is 15 months and it's like an exercise in acrobatics every time, and that is a whole new kind of frustrating.

But the benefits cannot be denied.
BRAVO, Mommy, for sticking it out.

I hated it too! Due to a very low supply, it was all I ever did! So I quit! SO much more rest and less stress and both of my boys are healthy, happy and smart! No allergies and very little illness-and a much happier mother, which is far more important. If you just started, give it a try for a few more weeks if you want, but don't sweat it! I found bottles and formula to be FAR easier than breastfeeding! As long as you have a dishwasher and a microwave for sterilization-it's easy and convenient. Be a happy and better rested mommy if it doesn't start working for you soon! I also bonded just as deeply while bottle feeding if not moreso because I wasn't stressed, and I finally got to enjoy feedings!

I hated breastfeeding ... and thought it was pretty disgusting too. Is sit there thinking, "I'm dripping my bodily fluids into another person's mouth.". <shudder>. I attempted 6 weeks of mostly pumping .& then said f#%^ it. Son thrived on formula - healthy, no allergies, quite intelligent, very advanced. And I was no longer stressed and grossed out all the time.

Thankfully no one has yet made breast feeding legally mandatory - at least not yet. So while they might be trying to take away your right to choose circumcision or not for yourself, you can still choose whether or not you want to continue breast feeding.

Yes, I hated it too. Don't feel guilty - not everyone finds it to be a nurturing bonding experience. Like you, I just did it for my kids' health. I found it painful (at times), time-consuming, inconvenient and (since I was never comfortable doing it outside my home) constraining. Just do the best you can for the time you can.

Happy mom=happy baby.

Don't feel you have a gun to your head.

Good luck with whatever YOU decide.

(And you know this question is going straight to Crazytown! lol)

Yes, Breast IS Best!! Congrats for sticking it out. You ROCK for nursing, and for admiting it is not easy!! Relax, take as many naps as you can, get a massage if you can, take a nice warm bubblebath, and listen to some calming music.

It is difficult, but it gets better! I promise. YAY, MOLLY!! :o)

For the first few weeks... or months it can be hard.

Sometimes I felt like I was litterally breastfeeding 24-7 and at one point I was on the verge of breaking down.

Here is what I did; I went to the pediatrician. He checked her weight gain, which was ok... and asked if she was getting a good latch when she fed... he then gave me the BEST advice! He told me that more often when a baby is literally nursing ALL the time, they just want to "suck". He prescribed a pacifier and sent us on our merry way! I was told to offer the paci after a nursing session (often they doze off when they are full). Once a baby is a master breast-feeder, they will only take a paci if they are not hungry, so if you offer it and they spit it out and keep crying or "rooting" then go ahead and nurse. Soon you'll know what the "cues" are and whether or not the baby needs a pacifier, to nurse (or something else) intuitively.

Don't worry, if you give a pacifier that does NOT mean that they have to be addicted to it for life! My daughter was pretty easy to wean at 9 months.

Also... it is ok to share the load every once in a while. Pump a few bottles worth and let your husband take a feeding every once in a while, even if it is just a few times... you sleep, he makes a bottle. You'll be happy down the road if your baby *can* take a bottle of breast-milk if need be anyways!

And most of all... it is all OK! It is OK that you feel exhausted, stressed and a little crazy! It is ok that it is hard. For the first month of motherhood with my daughter I felt like I was in a heavy fog out at sea, with no land in sight! I felt confused, anxious, and worried if I was EVER going to get the hang of all of this.

And then suddenly I woke up one day and realized that my daughter had slept all night, I could dress and swaddle her with one hand while I drank lukewarm coffee out of a cup in the other, and somehow I was a champ at this "mommy stuff". I had reached that sweet happy island of parenthood that we all are looking for... Not just "playing house", but a real, certifiable "mom". If you look to the horizon, I am sure you can see that you are almost there too!

and then in a month or two you'll be lost at sea again... Oh well... such is the life of a parent LOL!

Good Luck!
-M.

PS. If breastfeeding truly is the worst thing ever, it is ok to switch to formula... However, I often find that for me that the moment I feel the most insecure, is usually exactly when I am about to succeed... so if you can, grit your teeth and give it another 2 weeks... in that time make sure to talk to a lactation consultant and a pediatrician and use their advice before you throw in the towel! After that, no regrets!

I work at my job as an advocate of breastfeeding. I get paid to do this...I research articles and summarize them for our online intranet and I present talks on the latest in research in breastfeeding. It is a really cool job and I love it.

Before I took on this job, I attempted but was unsuccessful with breastfeeding my first.

This time, with LOTS of help I am successful with my second (not exclusively). And guess what....

I really don't like to breastfeed. Irony of ironies!

Of all people, I should LOVE it since I talk about its benefits all day, every day, at work. There were very high expectations for me to "show" others in my line of work how seamlessly easy it is to breastfeed. I showed everyone just the opposite.

At first, I was very embarrassed by my feelings. I felt really guilty about feeling this way and I thought that I was a hypocrite. But, my feelings about it were so overwhelming, I could not really hide them after a while. So I just came out and told the whole world that while I still do it for the sake of my child who seems to love it, I don't often enjoy the process myself.

And, even with typing all this, I still recall the day someone told me, "well, if you don't like it, stop!" I was so offended. I thought to myself, I am not telling you how I feel just so that you can tell me what to DO. I am an adult! You don't tell me what to DO. And that is when I realized -- that for me, the dislike about breastfeeding really came from this belief that I HAD to do it. I mean, how can I advocate for breastfeeding and not do it myself? But I realized that really, it is about me deciding what is best for me and my kid. I CHOOSE. Me -- no one else has the right to tell me what to do or how to feel. That is a practically a civil right! Once I got the concept, I felt so much better about everything, and so much at peace with the entire process. I accept my feelings for what they are, no matter what they are.

Today, some days I actually like breastfeeding. Some days, it is a chore and I want to quit. In the end, it is all good, as long as my intentions for my daughter are good.

Hey, it is what it is. You are not alone and you are not a bad mother for feeling this way. In fact, you are to be commended for being honest, even if the truth is not very pleasing to hear.

It is really no different than parenthood itself. Some days I love to be a mom, and others, not so much!

.

You're so right, it's not easy, it can be downright exhausting. God bless you!

Oh my gosh... One of the hardest things I've ever done! However, it will very quickly (before you know it) become the hardest thing you'll ever give up. :)

God bless you! You are a WONDEFUL mama!!

I always wonder... who ever said it was easy anyway?

Chin up and vent all you need... You are an awesome Mom.
*hugs*
~C.

One of the hardest things I've ever done. W/ all 3 of my kids, there were different obstacles I had to overcome, all almost equally frustrating, causing lots of tears. After successfully breastfeeding 2 of them, it has been a great accomplishment. Take 1 feeding at a time & reach out for help . Worst case, your baby will be formula fed & will still be healthy & don't beat yourself up over it. Good luck & hang in there. Everyday it gets easier.

Yep. It totally sucks. I never got the rainbows and puppies warm-fuzzy feeling when breastfeeding. And because I was HUGE - a J cup, my babies were always smashed into my gigantic boob which was bigger than their actual head. No looking lovingly at each other, bonding over breastfeeding- the only thing my kids saw was flesh and my a bird's eye view of my armpit. I felt like a milk cow. And if that's not degrading enough, hooking up a pump made me feel even more like a domesticated animal on a dairy farm. I see why people had wet nurses back in the day. I wonder why we stopped doing the wet nurse thing? I would have gladly hired someone to do it for me. lol
On the other hand, it's only for a brief time, and then mercifully it's over. Hang in there.

It's not!! I gave up after one week with my first and about three weeks with my second...With my third..I knew we had no choice but for me to nurse...We couldnt afford anymore formula...It was hard sometimes...Especially when he wanted to nurse all night until he was over two...The week he got a cold(March of 2011) and weaned himself I was just tickled! he is a very strong willed kiddo...So, weaning him without his approval was not gonna happen!!

Hang in there mama!! I wish saying ''It will get easier'' had more strength behind it...It will, It takes time..baby wont nurse as much as she gets older..and then you will miss the quiet times!!

You are so not alone!

I hated it too! Really hated it! It felt like it was the only thing I was doing all day and I couldn't stand it!

I nursed all 3 of my kids for the first 3 months but then switched to pumping and they got breast milk bottles, then introduced formula slowly at around 8 months and all 3 of my kids were done with all of it... breast milk/formula/bottles at 1 year!

I only did it b/c I knew it was good for them. It was one of THE hardest things I have ever done. It is not for everyone. Do not feel guilty about the way you feel.

I hate it to... I never did it because it just was not for me. My 16 yr old is a picture of perfect health. I have NO regrets.

Don't let people force you to do something you are not comfortable doing.

We practically has to call security to get the BF'rs to leave me alone. The die hards have no respect for other's wishes.

Good luck.

Whats not easy about it?I had no issues at all i'd rather breast feed than to get up go to the kitchen prepare a bottle of water,add the formula,then shake the bottle then go back to get baby.I nursed when they needed it it didn't matter where I was I nursed them.Sorry to hear you hate it

Awww, thats a shame its not going well for you. I had no trouble with either of my kids and loved every minute I was able to feed them. I found it easy, instant, comfortable and very portable when going places. When I had kids we didnt ever hear about "the latch" and "pumping". You just held the baby and offered the breast and made sure they had their nose free so they could breathe. I loved all the time I had to sit and rock them and stare into their faces and listen to them swallowing. Such good memories for me. A few times I used my thumb with the nipple inside the rim of a cup and pumped milk into it until I had enough for a bottle so daddy could feed them. (It was always full in 5 or 6 minutes) I wish every M. could have it as easy as I did. I always hope new moms will breast feed but also understand its not for everyone. Dont feel pressured to do it if it just really isnt for you. If you feel you gave it a decent ammount of effort and time and it isnt better, then go to formula and stop fretting about it. Just hold your baby and look into their eyes while you feed them a bottle.

It's not easy for every woman to breastfeed. Me for one. One size does not fit all. I tried it, couldn't do it, so I formula fed my kids. They turned out healthy and smart. There are many children who have turned out fine on formula. Personally, I think alot of health issues are related to genetics, not to what you eat. I also believe that if your heart is set on breastfeeding--go for it and don't give up easily without a fight--call up a lactation consultant and see what they recommend.

Good luck in whatever you choose:)

It has its ups and downs. I love those quiet moments when they look up at me adoringly as if to say, "Thank you for the nummy milk, Mommy." I love not having to clean bottles or pack formula whenever we go anywhere. I appreciated that their poo didn't smell as bad (until we introduced solids.) I'm nursing twins, so I also love when I can nurse them at the same time and they hold hands. I feel all three of us bonding.

I miss my body being my own, I don't like being bitten. I hate how it isolates me from my three-year-old.

It's really got its ups and downs.

I didnt like it either. I felt like it was isolating, and I wanted my body back to myself for goodness sake! I was always envious of the moms that just looooved it. I nursed for about 7 months for both kids just because I did feel like it was better for them, but ohhh how nice it is to enjoy a glass of wine now without having to worry about pumping later!

Oh Molly
You don't have to do it.
Or you could do breast and formula to give yourself a break.
My son was both - no nipple confusion or anything. He is happy, healthy and 15 years old now.

A happy, relaxed Mom is best for our babies also.

Good Luck
God Bless

You are so right, it is NOT easy -- but good for you for sticking with it!! When I went back to work after four months, our daughter would not take pumped breast milk in a bottle. I was soooo stressed! I started reading Dr. Sears' book and he said that it wasn't uncommon and that baby would make up for it in the evenings. Well, he was totally right and our daughter started marathon-like breast feeding from the moment we got home at 5:30 until the next morning. This led to us sharing a family bed because I just couldn't handle getting up all night long. Then came the growth spurts where they nurse every 45 minutes to 1 hour!! Oh my goodness!!

While it's "natural," it's not easy. But I must say, it DOES get better, esp. after the one year mark. Then it's more casual for sure. Just remember what a fabulous start you are giving your daughter!! Our daughter is 6 now and super healthy, rarely gets sick, has only been on antibiotics once in her life :) Hang in there!

You don't say how old your little one is but I'll give it a shot. When they are very little they digest the breast milk so well they are hungry every 2 hours. It can be exhausting. Co-sleeping helps for the first couple of months.
My third child, a daughter, breastfed for almost 2 years. She was recently diagnosed with Celiac disease and her doctor told her she has basically had it her entire life, she's 24 now. If I had not breast fed her so long her extreme tummy troubles would have shown up a lot sooner. So hang in there Momma it really is the best thing you can do for your baby.
But please don't feel guilty if you can not continue. I'm just adding my opinion.

The first few weeks are tough, no doubt. Despite how 'natural' breastfeeding is, it is still a skill that both baby and mama need to learn. Hang in there :o)

Make sure you're eating healthily and enough, getting LOTS of rest, drinking plenty of water, and getting some time alone each day - a bath, nap, 1/2 to read....whatever.

I breastfed my older two daughters for a year each and am into the 7th month of nursing my baby. No, it's not easy....but it is worth it.

That said, it's *much* more important for your baby to have a mentally and physically healthy and happy mama than breastmilk. If you decide to formula feed, don't feel guilty!!! You're still feeding her, nurturing her and loving her - and THAT'S what best for her :o)

My doctor told me, once it starts becoming a chore and stressful, it might be time to start thinking of stopping. I know it's best. My son only breastfed for 2 weeks, I couldnt produce enough milk. I was dissapointed, but a little (somewhat big) part of me was excited. I had to pump to make enough milk, so I'd pump for 40 minutes, then an hour later he'd eat, then an hour and a half later id pump, then hour later he'd eat.. I was EXHAUSTED. Next baby I will not beat myself up so much for it, I felt like a failure for stopping but looking back, it made me enjoy feeding him his bottles.. instead of me being like ugggh everytime I had to pump or attempt the breast. :) hope this helps

The happiest day of my life was when my pediatrician told me it was ok to stop nursing - I only lasted about a month with my first baby, and it was truly a miserable experience for me. I tried again with the second one, but my heart just wasn't in it, so I nursed for a few days only. Giving myself permission to stop (with the doc's blessing) was the best decision for me. For awhile I did feel very guilty about stopping it, though, as if I were seriously short-changing my children in some way. But they both did fine on formula, and I was so relieved to not have that pressure anymore. Good for you for trying and sticking with it - I admire all those of you who do - it's just not for everyone!

I was one of those crazies who did love to breastfeed ;-)

It was still challenging. Having a little one ATTACHED to my body all day, was...new. My daughter refused bottles. We tried dozens of nipples and bottles, and she wouldn't take my milk from anything but my breast. I really needed a break, and didn't get one for months. That, for me, was really hard. Bottom line, breastfeeding is NOT easy. It takes a lot, emotionally and physically.

No matter what decision you come to, I want to send you a big HUG and a lovely cup of your favorite tea. You're doing a great job. Mothering doesn't have to be easy to be rewarding and important. In other words, try not to beat yourself up if you are frustrated, tired, or "going crazy". You're not alone and, from what I know of you, you are a fabulous and dedicated mother.

I hope it gets easier...and SOON!

I hated nursing my first son--HATED it--and I did it for a year??? I don't think I ever really made enough milk so he nursed constantly. My second didn't want to nurse constantly and if felt like a huge burden lifted...until he wouldn't gain enough weight, because I couldn't make enough milk. I introduced formula at 4 months. What a difference it has made in my relationship with my baby. It turns out I don't dislike the infant stage--I just hate nursing infants and hate is not overstatement. It screws with my hormones and makes me weepy and depressed and lonely feeling. And, I never make enough to pump and extra bottle at night so I'm up half the night with them so then I'm exhausted on top of everything else.

I hope my baby doesn't turn into a stupid serial killer because of the formula (I'm crossing my fingers for a smart one. But, at least I can always blame the formula if he doesn't turn out right! :) And since I nursed the first one for a year I have a control case as well!

I would give it 6 weeks (that's when everyone says it gets easier) and if you still hate it figure out something else. I'm telling you that I didn't really bond with either of my children till I quit breastfeeding them. I know it sounds really weird but it is completely and utterly true. I loved them, adored them, but didn't feel bonded to them until they quit seeing me as the lunch truck.

The first 2 months are not easy... but it's not just due to breastfeeding. Moms are expected to do everything, even after just having a baby - and it's not fair. The stress of still being expected to do everything, on top of now having a newborn is a lot. I'm sure you know tho - that after you get over the 2 month hump - things will most likely be a breeze for you!

I don't care what anyone says, a pacifier (at this age) is your friend. Try different ones until you find one she likes.

Also remember it does get better with time. She won't need/want it as often as she gets more efficient at getting your milk out. Hang in there, and try a paci!

You're exactly right - it IS the hardest thing at first. I heard such horror stories from friends about it, but I was determined to try for my baby. The one thing that really stuck with me was that so many people said not to make any final decisions about it inside of 6 weeks - it really takes about that long to get to know each other. Even in the worst of my friends' stories, they admitted that after the 6 -week mark, it was like a switch was flipped. Things became much, much easier.

Remember, too, that your feelings of sadness and /or happiness right now are largely dictated by raging post-partum hormones. This is one of those times that you have to let your will guide you through - it's rational and unchanging (unlike our feelings) and you can conscientiously decide to ride this out and know that happiness will meet you on the other side!

It's worth it!! We remember those times and are walking through with you! I applaud you for breastfeeding. It IS hard, but it is best. Hang in there!

PS: I"m SO glad to see (read!) that things are coming together for you guys! You'll find your rhythm together as a family, but it's ROUGH at first.

LOL your too funny :-) Its Hard and it Sucks (no pun intended) I did it for ONE Month and was DONE with it.... little boy needed more to drink than I could supply anyways.. but its NOT FUN!
Hang in there hun !!! xoxo

Oh Molly, my heart goes out to you... I breastfeed my last for almost 3 years and I had days like you are having... I hated pumping a lot!!! There were just a couple of times, usually the middle of the night or at first when I hated breastfeeding, towards the end I knew I shouldn't but my son was attached and we had that bonding time that was special to the two of us... I still miss that, but he's my big boy now and we still have that bond...

I'm not sure how long you've been doing it, if you are early in on the nursing then it will get better... if your are at the end, well, it's almost over...

Hang in there!

You are right - it's not easy and the first 4 weeks were awful for me. Then I realized he had a poor latch on one side, fixed that, and it was better. I was determined to get to 6 months before I gave it up. But at 6 months it was smooth sailing and I had plenty of milk - and it seemed like a shame to give that up and start spending $$ on cans of powdered formula. Then at 8 months he started biting me so hard that I eventually began pumping exclusively for bottle feeding. (That got old FAST and I simply felt like a dairy cow 3-4 times a day). But we made it to a year and i'm so glad we did. Try to hang in there. Set a goal for another week or two and celebrate with one beer once you get there. :) (I read your last post).

LOL confession is good for the soul. It was torture for me the first couple months. It hurt then I got a yeast infection on my nipples that took FOREVER to go away and on top of that the baby would take an hour to eat and would eat every 2.5 hours so basically I was feeding him every hour wich made life impossible with 3 kids total. I stuck with it and had a great support group from my husband,mom,and cousin and I nursed him until he was 13.5 months old. I definatly had many many many times where I though I HATE this so I feel you! I should add that at about 3.5 months my baby gradually ate faster until it took about 10 minutes to eat(both sides) unless he fell asleep and then it was like a half hour. Hang in there!

High five. Mine did two hour nursing marathons. I do not exagerate when I say I spent 9 hours/day BF. Not to mention the time we both got yeast and I had open wounds on my nipples! All I can say is that after 6 mo it gets much easier. In the lactaion consultants office I was chatting with another struggling BF mother who said "BF is the hardest thing I've ever done." Later I asked her what she did and she was a physician. For some of us, BF is harder than a Dr.s' residency program!

Yes, it.is.not.easy.

I nursed both my kids.
But with my 2nd child, I felt a lot more tired of it.
But yes, I did it until my son self-weaned. Which he did at about 1 year old.
My firstborn, self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.

My Husband, with our first baby, would tell me "is that all you do all day? I go to work and you are breastfeeding. I come home and you are still in that chair breastfeeding. I always see you just there and breastfeeding."
(this was in the beginning, as a new Dad, and him/me not knowing how breastfeeding is. And when feeding on-demand.)

Both my kids, were great at nursing, and I had ample milk. They latched on and knew how from the get go. And had ginormous appetites.
Still, it was so tiring sometimes. But I did it.
I just believed in it and wanted my kids to wean, on their own.

But yep, it is not easy. I mean, its tiring.
Some days, I just wanted to scream.

Hi Molly,

Your baby is only around two and a half weeks old, right? Breastfeeding can be difficult in the first few weeks, and even months. Rest assured that it DOES usually get better, as you and baby get into the rhythm of it.

That said, it isn't easy, not for most mamas. I've had six children and breastfed (extended breastfed) all of them. Pretty much I've been nursing nearly constantly for the last 14 years. I was lucky that my first took to it like a fish to water. I had the usual discomforts (painful nipples, aching back, feeling like a cow...), but over all it was a positive experience.

Not all of my children and breastfeeding experiences have been that positive. I had one where I was considering stopping, because it was so hard. He wanted to nurse CONSTANTLY, he had a poor latch...I felt like I had NO time to look after the other children OR myself.

It will get better. Your little one will start to nurse less often, and become more efficient and nurse less time with each session.

But, yes. It's not always easy. :)

Good luck, mama! Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

I understand you so well, Molly...It is not easy at all, it is exhausting and painful, sometimes get better and you get used to it, some other times don't. Do what you feel is right for you both, as other mom said H. if you are happy the baby will be happy as well. You don't have to, do what make you feel comfortable, happy and relaxed, all this is going to pass to your baby. If you can, give it another try if you cannot, just find another way.
I didn't breastfeed my first baby, I felt the way you are feeling now, but I breastfed my second one and I enjoyed it and it was wonderful.
Take it easy and mostly enjoy your baby, rest whenever she is napping and accept help from those who want to help you.
Blessings

Molly, how long have you been breastfeeding? The first few weeks are so very hard! I found that it gets easier after that. Just think, otherwise you would be preparing bottles, washing bottles, getting the formula ready, making sure you don't run out of formula... I think breastfeeding must be easier (after the initial couple of weeks). I remember that with most of my babies, I cried everytime I nursed because it hurt so bad for at least 2 weeks. But, after that, it is such a joy. When they get a little bigger, I love it when they are nursing and just staring at you. Then, they break out in that huge smile, wanting to still nurse, but wanting to smile at you at the same time (impossible to do). So precious. I always feel like I'm going to drown them with milk at that point because it causes such a let down of milk with all the hormones/emotions flowing. So precious. I miss those days so much!

I didnt like it either. It hurt and my son didnt ever seem to want to do it. I bought a manual breast pump and it became my best friend. No more pain and my baby took to the bottle immediently. He got the benefits of breast milk, and I was happy too. If I ever have another child, I would choose to pump over breast feed again.

I hated it too! With my first baby. I hated the loss of freedom - I hated being tied to this demanding little thing, 24 hours a day. I hated that if I went to the store, I had to hurry back in case he was hungry again.

I didnt sit right, or didnt have him propped on enough pillow, so my shoulder hurt and my back hurt.

I hated, when visitors were over, going in the other room to breastfeed so I wouldnt offend anyone, and then missing all the conversation.

I hated, when I went back to work, lugging the breastpump around and sneaking into a store room pump.

But - it got better. He started nursing less often, I learned I LIKED breastfeeding laying down and I started nursing in front of anyone - they could look away if they didnt like it.

WIth my second - my daughter, it was great!

I nursed my son for 12 months, and, at 17 months, my daughter is still nursing.

Hey Molly, if you're having a hard time and haven't contacted a lactation consultant (get a referral from your ob, or the hospital), please do! Breastfeeding may be natural, but it's not easy. LC's have tricks, tips, etc. to help and can evaluate if there are issues to correct to make it easier for you. I always wanted to breastfeed, but got shingles 3 days after having my son and it screwed things up. I had to "work" at it for 3-4 months before it was "easy", then I nursed till he was 2.5 years old.

Good luck!

It's not easy in the beginning! Good for you for trying. It does get much easier as time goes by, and I loved not having to wash bottles. But, you're normal to feel the way you do.

You are doing the right thing! It can be so difficult and exhausting sometimes, I know! Keep up the good work, Molly, your child will benefit from it so much. Keep in mind it's exhausting no matter how you do it, bottle or breast. Take it easy when you can, ask for help with housework and meal prep and basically everything else, and know that it will slow down as she gets older. Surround yourself with supportive people. You can do it!

It gets better! Hang in there! =) I breastfed all five of mine (still with my 1 year old) and some were easier than others. But with persistence, it got easier with time and maturity. I wish you the best!!

*added* funny about those who don't see the difference. I don't think breastmilk has ingredients that start with corn syrup solids as the second ingredient... ;)

Its SO HARD! I totally agree.

Your nipples crack and your toes curl at first!,

your breasts get humongous, nothing fits and you feel like a dr suess character trying to fit into normal shirts.

the breasts turn from sources of pleasure to a spurting mess of obligation

People judge you about doing it in public, and for doing it too long.

Weaning is like trying to learn rocket science.

But its SO good for them. i b/f for 2 1/2 years, i am relieved to be done though.

wouldn't it be nice if people told us beforehand how hard it is and how there's NO sleep in the beginning? I feel so bad for you with sick kids at home too! ...oh now i wish I would have read thru older questions before answering yours about newborns getting sick - you don't need another worry! will your baby take a bottle? maybe someone can come give baby a bottle so you can spend some time with the sick one - and maybe catch a nap too!

Oh it's not easy now but It will get better. It is easier than getting up and making a bottle of formula though and knowing your child is getting the very best. (Not bashing if anyone supplements or has to us it.)

Updated

Oh it's not easy now but It will get better. It is easier than getting up and making a bottle of formula though and knowing your child is getting the very best. (Not bashing if anyone supplements or has to use it.)

Oh Molly,
Thanks for being so honest here.
I too just cringed during breast feeding. It was soooooo PAINFUL and time consuming. I have inverted nipples and bloody nipples and cracked nipples...but for some reason I kept with it. It took a solid 2 months with each baby for me to stop curling my toes up every time the baby latched on. Believe me I spoke with lactation consultants and attended La Leche League support groups.

And then magically, it got better, and easier and became most natural part of mothering.

Also, I'm sorry that you feel you were neglecting one child while nursing the baby. Perhaps the next time you can set up in a place you can all be together?

Just wait until or if you ever have to hook them up to a pump. Totally feel like a milk cow...

You sure can. If you can breast feed for at least 3 to 4 months it is best. I was unable to breast feed my 2 daughters, who are now 40 and 42yrs old and yet they rarely are sick, not been hospitalized except to have babies and one to have appenix removed. You can still have very healthy babies even if you do not breastfeed, Do not feel guilty and good luck.
J.

I never had any problems breastfeeding.... all my babies latched on perfectly and I loved the whole "bonding" thing but there came a point with each of them that I was just DONE! With my 1st, I didn't realize I had lost my milk and it felt like she was sucking daggars through my nipples... I finally realized it was okay to quit nursing then realized she hadn't been getting anything anyway. With my son (my 3rd) I was nursing him one day on the couch and looked down and saw how big he was that he was hanging off my lap (he was 9 months) and I just thought "wow. he's too big to be nursing" so that was the last time I ever nursed him! he never had a problem with it either! Sometimes it just sucks SO bad and it's okay to not enjoy it. It's even okay to quit! One thing I would recommend,if you don't already, is put him on a schedule! It makes it SO much easier and you still have time for other things! (All of mine nursed every 4 hours)

Molly , we can just admit it isnt easy, there is the pain and the leaking and waking up and the uncomfortable. I get it I breast fed for 3 months and that was it I dont understand how anyone can go longer than that.

Yes. It was something that required a ton of commitment. I'm very sensitive there, and my son would nurse for 90 min at a time as a newborn, just to get enough to sleep for 2 hours. He had a high palate, was slightly tongued tied, has an overbite, plus for the first week, he wanted to clamp down (bite) and didn't know how to nurse. (The lactation consultant said that the cord around his neck caused his suck reflex to change to a bite reflex. I had never heard of such a thing, so who knew?). Because of my son's nursing, my, um, "headlights," will never point straight forward again. He stopped nursing, of his own accord, shortly after his 2nd b-day, and it took 8 months before I could stand for the soreness to go away.

However.... it does get better. The first 3 months were awful for me. But he got more efficient, and by the time I went back to work, his nursing sessions were down to 30-40 minutes per, and he was nursing slightly less often. I pumped at work, and nursed at home. By 6 months, it was better yet (less soreness still, though still always sore), with 10-20 minute sessions.

For me, though, I knew it was the right choice for us. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, though.

One thing I wish docs & lactation consultants would be honest about.... I've heard it multiple times that if the baby is latched on correctly, it shouldn't/doesn't hurt. BAH! I say. That is simply not true, and it sets up so many moms for failure when they hear it & believe it. Yes, the truth is it hurts and it can be stressful, exhausting, etc. For me it was/is worth it. But I totally understand why so many moms try it & quit.

Me too. I just keep telling myself everyday that I will quit tomorrow. My daughters are 21 months and 8 weeks and I'm still nursing them. My son was formula fed and it is sooooo much easier. Hang in there!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm glad it works for you guys. It didn't (at all) for us. I tried everything, too, with both kids.

Mostly, I really appreciate hearing that "the best" choice still isn't always the easiest one. It reassures me about our "choice" to formula feed that wasn't a choice at all.

I found it downright painful for 8 days...now it is just a chore most of the time :) baby is 2.5 weeks. Last kiddo I nursed for a year pumping 3 times a day at work from mos 3-11.5. I tried to nurse my first exclusively but she never sucked right and the pain cracking and bleeding was still there after 6 weeks and seeing lactation consultants. I pumped with a commercial pump till I dried up at 4 mos then gave formula. My DD has 4 food allergies- milk, egg, fish and life threatening peanut. It sucks. My hubby and I both have allergies though none to food... So needless to say I am nursing all the rest of my babies a year! Kiddo #2 is 2.5 and has no allergies! Best wishes to you!

ooh Molly! i'm soooo sorry!! I truly enjoyed breast feeding....it was a VERY relaxing time for me and my kids.

If you are having a hard time, ensure you have a good latch. That can make it hard if you don't have a good latch.

I've not looked at your other answers or your other posts...I don't know how old your baby girl is. She should be on a routine and not getting the boob every 2 hours if she's over 3 months old. If that is happening it could one of two things - she is not latched on correctly and is NOT getting full with each feeding OR it's a "paci" feeding for her - when she really isn't nursing but sucking for comfort.

Stress will affect your milk production. As does lack of sleep...I would pump after each feeding - to ensure i got the hind milk and had enough for the next feeding - especially at night as my husband took the midnight and 2AM feedings so I could go to bed at 10PM....those 2AM feedings were gone by 6 weeks for my oldest son...and they were 4AM feedings for my second son.

Hope this helps.

I think we can ALL admit it's not easy! I was surprised at how much WORK it is, and how HARD it is! It's consuming! When I don't have a baby on the boob or am not pumping, I'm constantly thinking and worrying about it! Is my supply dwindling. . . how can I increase it, how long ago did I pump? Ahhh! Makes me crazy. And my boobs are two completely different sizes. And my neck and shoulders have been severely stiff/knotted/tense since I've started breastfeeding. I don't necessarily hate breastfeeding but I do hate pumping. I dread it!

But you said it, we do it for the babies. My gripes about breastfeeding will never outweigh the benefits it has for my baby.

Good for you for admitting it! People who have never done it don't get it. But it is flipping HARD!

I hated it too!!! You are not alone.

SO.NOT.EASY.!!! My second son was a dream nurser, but I'd already had a kid and knew WHAT to do, but it was still hard. My oldest we struggled the entire year we nursed. It was tough.

Nobody said itwas easy, but it is best, and if you stick with it you will find it gets easier, more routine, in a couple weeks. Remember neither one of you were born ot nurse, its a learning process for everyone.

Definitely not easy (in the beginning at least)! I was lucky that for me, it was 3-4 weeks of hell with each child and then things got relatively easy. For me, pumping at work was the thing I really disliked, but I did it for a year for each child. One of the frustrating things about having all boys is that they will never really understand what a commitment that is - at least if a mom has daughters, there's a chance that later she'll hear "wow mom I never really appreciated how exhausting and time consuming breastfeeding was so thanks for doing that for me." Not that we do it for gratitude, but it would be nice to think that someday my kids would have even and inkling of an idea of what it took ;-).

But think about it...would you really want to be washing a million bottles, mixing up the powder, etc.? That's no picnic either!

Best of luck to you and keep going mama!

Its not easy. I had a love hate relationship with it. I was always tied down to the baby or the pump but every night I remember sitting in the rocking chair nursing him to sleep watching my shows then just holding him afterwards as he slept. I miss those days.

Molly, I hated it too. I had a condition that made breastfeeding so painful that I had to sometimes fight not to pass out. It never got better, never got easier and never had enough milk. I made it a year and stopped without a lick of remorse.
And it was just as bad with the second one! The stress was enormous.
Hang in there mama! Thanks for being honest!

It's not easy, at first. I bf'd my son for a year and am bf'd my daughter now. I must be crazy because I love breastfeeding. Absolutely love it. It gives me an excuse to lay upstairs with my baby and nap. It's relaxing. I save a lot of money because I don't need formula. But then there are the times i hate it. I can't be away from my baby for more than a few hours unless I bring my pump. If I get engorged, it hurts like hell. I can't really go out and have a good time with my friends because I will need to feed my baby. If I hear a baby cry in public, my shirt gets wet...... but I think the love outnumbers the hate factors in breastfeeding.