I Have a Good Friend Whose Son Who Is Three Is Autism,

I just read a great article about Brain Balance Centers that are having wonderful results. The article has a phone number for more information. It is ###-###-####. The website is: www.brainbalancecenters.com

Hi S.!
Talk to your friend about taking him to see a chiropractor. Chriopractic can help tremendously when combined with other methods for Autism. Look for one that is a family practice. You will be very pleased with the results! Your such a good friend for reaching out for her! I wish you the very best!

Hi S.,

My sister has two sons with autism, and I remember how difficult it was for her when her firs son was diagnosed. Honestly, her friend will listen to her sadness, disappointments, frustrations and try not to fix it or tell her to feel better. Hopefully, she can quickly find resources for her son, and find a community of diverse parents who are experiencing the same struggles. Thanks for being supportive to her during this difficult transition. - D. & my three sons

I have a friend I met in my son's special needs class for prek through the cobb county public school system. I know it is very difficult since my friends son has different mile stones at different times he is crossing them my child who at the time had developmental delay and is now considered ADHD. Her son having autism and just finding out and the road she and him have to face is very difficult. I have always read as much as I could about autism so my friend and I could take about her son and I would have at least some knowledge about autism. I have always tried to listen and for a long time I wouldn't share stiff about my house (home life) since I felt bad about my friends son and she made it clear to me even if her child couldn't be at the same level as my son we all were still friends. My kids love their buddy to this day they go and all play and visit, my children really notice nothing different about their friend except he doesn't talk much. He hangs right with them during play. I guess what I'm saying is from my experience I'd just be the best supportive friend you can be read information, share it with her. Tell her you are their to listen, research information with and just to be her friend in whatever way she needs you. I can say this look up FOCUS (Families of children under stress) they are a great support group and Babies Can't Wait in the county she lives in they also can get her help she needs for her son. Babies Can't Wait will help with therapy of all sorts setting it up, they will help when the time comes for prek, even filling out papers to get help and they will educate her on anything and everything for her son. You maybe helping her can also be a good thing. I wish you the best and hope that this helps you some I just wanted to share since I know how it can feel on wanting to help a friend and not knowing where to start.

Hi S.,

Autism is so much more rampant than it used to be and there are reasons for that. It can be managed and in some cases, cured but your friend needs a lot of specific information that doctors don't really know how to provide.

Tell her to go to my website and look around. I don't address Autism directly but if she sees what I do and how I approach things she may want to talk to me. I have SEVERAL friends that have had amazing improvements with their Autistic children that are very simple fixes to a very complicated problem. I can share those things with her.

You just need to be there to support her and encourage her to keep researching. She will appreciate that more than you will ever know!

Regards,

M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

Tell her to read Jenny McCarthys book "Louder Then Words" Her son had Autism. Anyway its a good book, easy read. I hope all works out. Hang in there with her and be a friend.
God Bless!

I have a son who is 8 and severely autistic with physical non-compliance. My next door neighbor has helped me just by spending time with me and telling me it is not my fault. God only gives these special kids to special people. Tell her she must always have hope. If she hasn't done so yet, tell her to apply for the Katie Beckett Deeming Waiver and once they get medicaid then they can get in home help from May Institute or the Dept. Of Mental Health. Some diets help like the Gluten Free Casein Free (wheat and dairy). Also recommend www.son-rise.org for a family based loving one on one program. Also, the Easter Seals might have someone to send - according to her area. If possible, try to sit for her so that she can get away from the stress of the home. She really needs a companion right now - Autism can isolate the main care giver from a life. Hope this helps!

C. M.

Hi S.,

First, that is very kind of you to be so supportive of your friend. She is need of all the support she can get right now. I'm sure she is experiencing a variety of emotions. Do you know if her son is getting Occupational Therapy? I would recommend she get a referral to one, that will be a great resource for her and her son. Also, there are support groups that you could go to with your friend to learn more about Autism and connect with other families who have children with autism.
If she lives in the Alpharetta area I have a friend from graduate school who owns a clinic and would be a great place for therapy (O.T, P.T or speech).
Hope this helps,
K.

If your friend hasn't already done this she needs to find resources in her community for autistic children. She desperately needs caregiver support, as well as your friendship. Listening is so important, so you really are helping. However, it sounds like she doesn't have a lot of help at home. In order to take care of a special needs child you need to take care of yourself. Her pediatrician or healthcare provider should be able to help her with finding those resources.

S.,

All these wonderful ladies that have responded to you are a godsend. You are very lucky. Here's another tip for you to pass on to your friend. Jenny McCarthy also wrote a book called "Mother Warriors" or "Mommy Warriors". I'm not sure which it is, but it is definitely the sequel to "Louder Than Words". You might want to pick that up for her. It is filled with stories of moms and dads and other caregivers of people with Autism. It might be of comfort for her to read these people's stories.

I do NOT believe that Autism is a disorder that one cannot heal from. It isn't something that will ever go away, but its effects can most definitely be managed.

All my best to you and to your friend.

E.

Hi S.,

I also have a son who was diagnosed with autism when he was three. Do you have any other details as to the help she is receiving now and what services her son is receiving. I know that there are some, not many, support groups out there. You didn't mention what town you were from so I couldn't provide a link. Also is the boy in school? If she lives in Hall County she can call Babies Can't Wait, there is a "school/daycare" in Gainesville also, the name is slipping my mind at the moment but I will try to find out/remember what it is and post it. Is the child getting speech therapy, occupational therapy, PT. My son started full day preschool right after he was diagnosed and the school provided speech, ot and summer services at a private facility. Granted this was all in Massachusetts at the time. Now the school provides speech and a monthly consult for ot. Our son has improved so much because of the early intervention. We also have him in swim therapy which has really helped. If you have any other questions, or something specific, please feel free to ask. Also, I am not on here very much, can you send private messages through this board? If so, send me your e-mail and I can send you some more information.

Also, just being their from your friend is a huge help as it is such a struggle to watch your child try his best to make friends and everyone turn away because of some of the things he does are considered weird. Educating people about autism and what the kids may do is the best way to create understanding but kids can be very cruel. Also, if you are up to it, watching her son for just a hour so she can have a break would be a tremendous help. Having no one around to help or lean on or to get some sort of break is really hard on you, it wears you out. Also tell her, there is a place she can take her son, once a month for 3 hours, if she is interested I will get you information. My son loves going to respite and it gives us a chance to go out with out him and maybe do Christmas shopping, birthday shopping or just a nice dinner alone. (Not saying I don't like to do things like this with him because I do but having a break is nice too.)

R.

R.

S.,
I work for Early Autism Project. We provide Applied Behavior Therapy to children with a diagnosis of Autism. We do provide services in GA. ABA therapy is recognized by the American Academy of Pediatrics as effective treatment for children with Autism. I have worked with children ages 2 to 10 with the diagnosis and seen the results of ABA. It is affective for problem behavior and to teach new skills in the areas of communication, social and academic skills. Please have your friend visit our web site - www.sceap.com. I am not sure about how the services can be funded in GA, as I am located in South Carolina. Likely the reason for his behavior is the lack of a functional communication system and the behavior being reinforced in some way. I can be contacted at ____@____.com if she would like more information than what is provided on the web site. Best of luck to your friend. I have worked with children with Autism for 7 years and I know how difficult it can be.

S.,
How wonderful for your friend to have a person to journey with her on the trip with her son. First, she will need a good listener until she comes to GRIP with his diagnosis. It is important that YOU educated yourself on this illness. There are MANY forms of this illness ,each with different degrees of severity.

My niece did her internship, as a nurse, here in Georgia at the MARCUS INSTITITE down by the CDC. We got to learn about AUTISM from her and hear about the wonderful programs that can help children come out of their private hell and into the light. THE EARLIER THE BETTER! There are so many programs and training techinques that are used,and taught to the parents, that can help a child fair better with their illnesss.

From the very mild to the very dramatic cases there is help for each child and for each parent. Get an appointment with the MARCUS FOUNDATION AND GET HIM STARTED NOW SO HE CAN BE REACHED.

Second, find support groups within communities and online and in churches for your friend to attend. Take her at first so she will go! She is on a frozen mode until she settles in her mind that this is now her life and she MUST incorporate this into her very heart and soul.

Three, read up yourself about how you can be a supportive friend. It may be that you become her one night off for group meetings and help her with babysitting her son. It may be that you find a church program for her to attend with her son. There are so many ways you can help her besides listening. But listening is important, just don't let her ONLY see the bad in this situtation and her son and her husband. She must reach the point where she becomes her son's advocate! It is only then that she will feel the power again that is taken away when you get the diagnosis.

She must gireve over the loss of her dreams for her child. But she must now realize that while she may not get to have a perfectly healthy child she still has a child that needs mothering. IF the child no longer or can not reach out to her then help her to understand that she will be loving him by carring for him even if he can not return love and affection to her. She must now change her mind as to what her job is. NOW it is to care for him without getting the wonderful love and connection in return. This will bring her closer to God after she is finished with her anger. This is like caring for another in need without getting anything in return in other words--without payment for your love. It is now her cross to bare. God will always be near and at times she will catch glimplses of her son. But before all is lost get her to the MARCUS INSTITUTE because they work each day with helping parent and children with this condition. They train parents how to reach their children and the sooner you can reach a AUTUSTIC child the better the outlook is for successful life. Three is normally the age when doctors can tell the child is not responding normally to situtations so he is prime for training NOW.

Help her to become his advocate and get him help. It is not cheap but it is necessary. Help her to get intouch with other parents of Autistic children and get their monthly newsletter so she can begin to work through this time and get busy with helping him come out of his personal nightmare and reach out to others. I can not impress enough on you how important it is that sooner is the answer. Do not wait as the developing brain of a child only had certain periods of time that they develop socialization skills and once the window is shut the opportunity for development of certain skills is gone to that child.
Good luck and keep praying for this family.
Ms C.

First and foremost, your friend needs to get her son into a program/school for autistic children. Since you did not mention that the child is in a program, I don't know if he is or not. Also, if the doctor she takes her son to is not an autism specialist, she definitely needs to find a doctor who specializes in autism. It is such a difficult disorder to understand and deal with that she probably still has a lot to learn about the it. Probably the best way you can help your friend is to help her locate some GOOD resources and learning tools that will teach her how to raise a child with autism. If that kind of assistance is costly, which is possibly the case, you could help her find financial resources that may be available through private foundations or government programs.

Best of luck!
K.

S.,

The Marcus Institute in Atlanta is a great place and they take Medicaid if that is needed.

My advice to you is to really BE there for her. Take her son once in a while so she can get some much needed sleep or just to get away for a couple of hours. Alot of "friends" give lip service to helping out, but when it comes down to it they never seem to be available. Sometimes people are afraid of these kids..they don't know what to do with them. Spend time with them so you see how Mom handles him. If you think it's hard dealing with him for a couple of hours, imagine Mom being with the child 24/7 without any help.

Hopefully your friend is recieving services for her child and is getting suggestions on ways to help her son communicate. Aggression from children with autism is usually a result of their frustration over not being able to say what they want or need. As a mother of a child with autism, I can say that sometimes the best thing that a friend can do is offer to watch my child for an hour or two (although I always hope for an overnight break!). It can be very stressful to deal with being a single mother and having a special needs child (my husband has been deployed for the past 5 months). Support groups can be very beneficial, I recommend your friend search for one in her area or online. You are a great friend just to ask for advice to help her, thank you for thinking of a fellow mother of a child with autism! Good luck to both of you! E.