I Have an 11Year Son Who Hates baths.He Has b.o. and Doesn't Care.

My son is 11 and he could care less also. He knows he has to bathe though and it's non negotiable. When we tell him it's his bath/shower night he knows he has to take one after dinner. He has to do it every other day. For a while there I noticed his head still smelled bad after taking a bath/shower. We had to go in and re-teach him how to properly wash his hair. He would do it so quickly he was only getting the very top of his head. It's silly bc it seems like he is too old for this. But he just does not care. We have to remind him to use soap, scrub all over, etc. And then the next day he is stinky again. He now has his own deoderant and I remind him to put it on almost daily.

No, just keep making him bathe, until he's old enough to care. Once he likes girls (or boys) he will care.

You are not harming him by reminding him or forcing him to bathe. He can't be going around all stinky and filthy. As Margie says, you just don't get a choice in the matter.

basic hygiene should be pretty ingrained by 11. many boys don't care if they smell, so daily bathing needs to be habituated young.
do you have a shower? most boys vastly prefer showering to bathing. get him some axe or old spice (let him pick the cleverly-named fragrance) and accept the fact that you'll be inundated with wolfsbane or pirate captain for a while. better than BO, right?
at 11 he's too old to overpower, which is a poor tactic anyway. and yes, you're doing more harm than good by daily explanations. he long ago tuned you out.
you inform him that he needs to shower, and if he refuses, all the good things in his life come to a screeching halt. the internet and tv get turned off. he has no access to phones or devices. he's not ferried to sports practice or friends' houses or movies or sleepovers. his favorite dinners and treats and lunches are no longer prepared for him. he's got his room, books, school and basic meals.
no more explanations. no arguing. no reminding. no persuading.
khairete
S.

It's nice if they understand the reasons for things (hygiene, safety, chores, etc.). But it's not essential. He can choose between a bath and a shower, but he can't choose not to get clean.

When they get to be this age, they are really too big for you to force them to do anything through physically overpowering them. So you have to be smarter. They are still dependent on your for many things though, so ou do have the power even if you don't realize it. So just wait about 15 minutes until he wants something. The answer is no, not until you shower. You can send him out of the room because he smells, you can deny him certain privileges meant for older kids (like those who are old enough to take a shower), and so on. So what's important to him? Computer, TV, video games, rides to the mall, allowance, buying certain snacks, washing his favorite shirt....?? Whatever it is, you aren't in the mood for it any more than he is in the mood to get clean. These are privileges that older, mature kids EARN, not things they are entitled to. If it were my kid, I wouldn't be going out with him in an enclosed car or doing laundry that is so smelly from being worn on a dirty body. He'll run out of clothes in a week or so, right? So you teach him to do the wash. Once he gets a taste of that, he'll probably come around.

I do think a trip to the drug store for his own shampoo and deodorant/antiperspirant might be in order. Give him some choice about what products he uses just to give him a certain amount of control over the situation. If he doesn't want to do that, then give him a gift of products that will do the job. And give him his own towel and washcloth with instructions to scrub his armpits.

You can also contact the school nurse or health teacher to find out if they have already covered this information in health class or if it's planned. If he's doing it, I can guarantee other kids are, so it might be good to give the school a nudge on this topic.

Do you allow him to take a shower? Most pre-teen boys don't like baths.

Also, have you bought him some "guy" soaps? Often we forget, when our kids get a little older, that they enjoy the "cool" stuff, not the "baby" stuff. Perhaps if you stocked his shower stall with some shampoos or shower gels specifically for guys, he might be more interested (Then when they're older, and have to buy their own supplies, all of a sudden the dollar store soap is good enough!) Or if he asks for a new t shirt or new clothing, tell him absolutely not. You're not buying clothing that will go on a filthy body.

But most likely, he's in the period of time where they really don't care. Try to encourage some deodorant and a quick shower. Soon enough, he'll notice girls, and then your problem question will be "my son takes two showers a day and douses himself in Axe body spray and today he spent 30 minutes trying out different hair styles". Until some girl tells him he stinks or says "ewww", there's only so much a mother can do.

You don't mention if he likes showers. My boys don't bathe in a tub. They did when they had toys and such but since outgrown that. I agree - let him pick out some supplies he likes.
I still have to bug mine at times. They do before school - it's just part of their routine. That might help - make it part of a routine that must be done before something else happens. Ours don't leave house till showered. Same on weekends if going to a friend's house. They wouldn't bother unless we had that rule.
For me, it's part of being presentable. It's like brushing teeth. You just don't get a choice in the matter. I say sometimes "when you live on your own, it will be up to you - here you shower every day".

Refusing to bathe is not an option.
If it were summer you could hose him off in the back yard.
Keeping yourself clean is a basic life skill - he needs to do it.
If he does it on his own - you won't have to nag him about it - but until he does - you're going to have to keep reminding him.
No one likes to live with anyone who stinks.

I have one child who hates to bathe, but I just make her! First I'll ask nicely, then I'll say it firmly, then I'll say "NOW". If there is anything else she wants to do, I make her get into the shower first or she'll say, "Can I do it after..". Of course once she's in there she loves it and I have to yell at her to get out lol.

He needs to at least get a shower. I would take him into the bathroom, set up the water and stay there until he gets in. I'm not suggesting force, but firm persuasion. I also wouldn't bother with fancy bath products, he only needs basic stuff to clean himself.

My daughter is 9 and doesn't like stopping what she is doing to get a shower either but she still needs to get one. You are the parent so be firm and let him know this is not a option.

You should both read this article, he cant mask his BO with sprays, its dangerous.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/british-teen-dies-d...#

Bathing isn't an option, it is pretty much part of life. Just tell him to get in there and march him to the restroom. At 11 years old, he wouldn't want you bathing him, so he should be willing to do it on his own...you know what I mean.

At two, my daughter didn't want to brush her teeth. It wasn't an option. I laid her on the floor and did it for her.

Put your foot down.

Do more harm than good? No. You assert the fact that you're the mother, and he's the 11 year old. If he wants to get to watch TV, play on the computer, gameboy, whatever, he will do what you ask him to do. That includes homework, his chores, taking a shower and scrubbing everything, and you will smell him after his shower to make sure he did it, including having clean hair. That's your job. Other people shouldn't have to suffer because he's got an 11 year old's attitude and a mom who won't make him toe the line.

Stop just reminding. Step up and take all his special privileges if he doesn't do it.

every other day should be fine. Every day drys your scalp and skin. 11 year olds need to be reminded. kids hate to bath.tell him nicely or he wont bath to be mean to you. my boys are like that. good luck.

Secondarily, I would make hygiene contingent on things he wants to do. Does he want to go play with friends? Go to a movie? Be in a club? Go out to dinner? Not if he hasn't bathed recently. Is his father in his life, or an uncle he likes? May also be time for a man-talk about being clean, using deodorant, etc. If he has a physical coming up, then you can also put the bug in his doctor's ear about it.

He's 11 so it's unlikely either of you will be comfortable overseeing his bathing, but I do know one family where the father had the son put on some swim trunks and he pointed out where the kid needed to wash. They also cut his hair short since he wasn't caring for it. If a bath isn't cutting it, encourage showers, or vice versa.

To be honest I've passed this question up several times now and have been thinking about it.

My granddaughter is a lovely girl. She's athletic, a dancer and tumbler. She is normal height and lean. She won't brush her teeth, won't wash her hair, won't shower hardly at all.

Peer pressure is a great thing. I used it to my advantage since "I" wasn't getting anywhere with my consequences or bartering.

I told her it was her choice to bathe, to brush her teeth, etc...that the consequences of not doing those things would be something she wouldn't like. I have told a couple of her friends that she says no one has ever told her that her breath stinks and that her teeth are a weird color.

They told her "Man! You have nasty breath. Talk with your mouth pointed over there!". They told her "Gross!!!!! Your teeth are yellow, sort of green!!!".

Guess what. "I" didn't have to raise my voice, "I" didn't have to say a word. She bathes every night, brushes her teeth every morning before she goes anywhere, and she actually wears clean clothes more than a few days of the week now.

Peers/friends have all the pull these days. See if you can get some friends on your side. Then let him experience what it feels like when your friends tell you the truth.

I bought my granddaughter some bath sets for Christmas and they made a difference too.

Make him bath. IF he refuses then ground him from his favorite things until he does it. If he does take a shower and still smells (he did not use soap or shampoo ect, just got wet to please you) don't count that as a shower and continue to withhold his items. Good hygiene is nonnegotiable.

If he stinks, then not bathing is not an option.
Do not ASK him to take a shower, TELL him. And if he balks, do what a friend of mine did with a stinky tween boy.
"You have two choices,. Either you go take a shower, or I will pull your clothes off, drag you to the bathtub, and sit on you while I scrub you."

I suppose you could always make him join a swim team. That will keep him clean and fresh;) I have the opposite problem, my guys spend too much time in the shower.

You only mention baths. What about showers?

Dermatologists recommend every other day unless stinky.

Boys this age are gross. If I don't stand there and watch our son brush his teeth, he won't. He doesn't care one bit if his teeth are fuzzy or if he smells from not bathing, so I get the battle. Glad you're going to follow the advice below ... I think it will help. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. When I talk to our son's friends' moms, they say the same thing ... their boys just don't care about cleanliness yet.

I have an 11 year old and I just wake him up each morning, hand him a towel and direct him towards the shower. Everyone here bathes everyday...you live here you do to...

The big turning point was when I told him that he needed to use dad's shower stuff. The kid stuff was too wimpy for his new grown up needs...he ate that up like no tomorrow.

Now sometimes he gets out with half dry hair or a whole head of shampoo or only smelling slightly better than when he went it...but it is building a good routine.

Good luck.

great information below for sure.

question? does he have any friends? most of the time peer pressure will also help to motivate him to be clean. I know it did the trick when my DS couldn't manage to remember to zip his *^^%&^%(&** pants zipper on a daily basis. When they started laughing, he got the message loud and clear. I am not suggesting that your son be ostracized but a reminder of this to him might further motivate a change. and yes.....I also suggest swapping the bath for a shower and getting him some fun deodorant and such as well. hopefully, this is just one of those phases.......... And I totally agree with Suz T. put your foot down and keep it there. :-)