I Have Big Concerns for My 3 Week Old son...I Am So over Whelmed! Advice Please!

Ah - I felt the same way with my first. She too had colic and it took us 3 months to figure out how to help her. I was so exhausted and tired from all of the crying. I thought this can't be what motherhood is like!!! It does get better after 3 months!

Here's what we did that helped soooo much:

We used Nutramagin formula. It is hypoallergenic and it cleared up all rashes and colic within 3-4 days. It is expensive but soooo worth it.

I gave up eating and drinking all dairy while nursing because everything you eat can affect the baby.

We used the Playtex Nurser bottles with the bottle liners. (You can buy generic liners from Target or Walmart.) When you put the bag into the bottle, fill with water, then formula. Shake it up, then push all of the air out of the bag 'til the formula squirts out of the bottle. This way, the baby get NO air from their bottle and really helps out their tummies.

Also, we used bottled water or filtered water and left it out on the counter at room temperature. This way, the cold didn't upset my daughter's tummy, but she also didn't expect her bottle to be warm. I don't believe in microwaving as it is unhealthy. I had a bottle warmer, but got tired of waiting 4 min. when my daughter was screaming for a bottle (and didn't want the breast). Once you heat it, you have to make sure it's not too hot and sometimes have to wait several min. before giving it to the baby. Also, some babies get used to having a warm bottle and when you are out and about and they might refuse to drink anything that is not heated. It is so convenient to pack a diaper bag with with 4 or 5 bottles ready to go with room temp water. All you have to do at that point is add your powder and shake and you have no worries whether the temp is too hot or too cold. (They even sell formula dispensers that aren't bulky so you don't have to pack the whole can and make a bottle easily wherever you are)

I hope some of that helps for you - def talk to your pediatrician too! (my ped and my best friend helped to keep me sane!)

Here is a link to tell you about the bottles:

http://www.playtexbaby.com/Products/Bottles/DropIns.aspx

Good morning Sunshine, First of all you are only 19 so cut yourself some slack.This is your first baby, so you are in the learning process. For the rash, use Butt Paste, sometimes it's a yeast infection and not a normal rash. When you get up to nurse him try and create an enviorment that will help you stay awake, dozing off while feeding doesn't make you a bad mother, I bottled fed all 3 of mine and I have dozed off only to wake up and find them covered in milk.
Don't allow anyone to feed your baby cold formula, that can cause tummy aches. the warm milk is soothing and aids in moving the bowls. You mentioned it sounds like it hurts him to poop, make sure when you mixing his formula that you are not putting to much powder, that can cause constipation, just as to little powder can cause diahreah. I used ready to feed formula so I didn't have to worry about mixing or measuring. For the eye and the belly button infection take him to the pediatrician, and he/she will give you something for that, And last relax and enjoy being a mom. Most new moms make most of their mistakes with their first baby, and if you need help there's a lot of mommies out here that would be more than happy to guide you through this wonderful adventure called motherhood, and even talk to your mom and your mother in law my kids are grown my youngest is 20, and my mom gave me a lot of advice when I was raising my 3. J. L

Hi Sunshine,

You are a wonderul mommmy! To reach out and ask for help is wonderful. Your baby is soooo young and is still adjusting to the outside world. This adjustment takes a while.
Let's address the gas:
Get some fennel seeds from the health food store and make up some fennel water. 1 t of seeds to 2 cups of water. Boil the water and when it has cooled down, make your baby a bottle with that. Also I highly recommend using Dr. Browns bottles. You don't need to rush out and buy too many. A pack of 3 will do. Get the ones with the wide opening. It's easier to pour in the formula without messing and wasting. It's absolutely fine to give a baby a cold bottle! In fact that's wonderful. It will help when he is older and you are out and can not heat up milk.
Another thing to get for his gas is GRIPE WATER. You can find it at the drug store. Put a tiny drop directly in his mouth. It has dill seed in it, which is also good for stomach issues. Pumping his legs will help relieve gas too. He may need different formula. The Infamil and Similac are very harsh on tummies. The best one is Best Baby by Carnation. The protein is Whey protein, whereas the others have Casein protein. Casein is found in cows milk, so thus the harshness.
Now the diaper rash:
Keep a container of cornstarch with 1-2 drops of lavendar essential oil (from health store) and put that in his diaper. Cornstarch absorbs moisture.
If your baby is only happy on your chest - keep him there! He is trying to adjust to life and also to bond with his mommy. I know you have to study, so try do that with him on you.
Good luck and hang in there, you're doing the best you can. Everything your baby is going through is not a reflection on what you are doing or not doing, it's all just part of being a newborn.
P.

The first few months are really hard. No matter how old you are when you have the baby, how much support you have... it's hard. It gets much easier as they get bigger. Promise. I am still breastfeeding my 7 month old son, and there were plenty of times I fell asleep feeding him. And we supplemented with formula in the beginning since he wasn't gaining weight quick enough, and used cold water. He didn't care. Just make sure you put the water in first, and then add the powder formula.
Maybe try to swaddle him so he feels like he is still being held. This may help him sleep- and not on you. Babies cry- a lot. All of them. But it gets better as they grow. You're doing a great job!

Oh Sunshine... just from reading your message I can tell that you are a GREAT mom! Please try to not be too hard on yourself. I was 32 when my son was born and it was hard for me as well. My son had calic and cried a lot no matter what my husband and I did. He also got an eye infection from when we took him to the hospital due to his jandice and got 2 colds within the first 3 months. The good thing is that you ARE concerned and you are doing everything that you can to be there for him. KNOW that you are being the best mom that you can and that is all that Jayson would ever ask of you. Giving him cold formula is not bad (I used to mix his formula in the middle of the night as I kept everything next to my bed and it never hurt my son and he'll be 2 years old next week). If he has a lot of gas you can do bicycle pumps with his legs to help him get the gas out or even a little back massage. Babies always want to be close to you especially when they are newborns. My suggestion would be to get a snuggley or front carrier that you can wear to keep him close to you like he likes yet giving you the freedom to still do the things that you need to. When my son was first born I felt like nothing that I did was good enough for him however looking back now, I know that I did a fabulous job and just trying that extra bit each day makes a big difference. Keep trying and all will be good. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It doesn't mean that you can't do things for your baby, it just means that you are human and need help! I send you many happy thoughts and lots of praise for trying so hard! :)

Sunshine,
It sounds like you are feeling sooo overwhelmed and I dont know if it helps but I became a mom at 38 and felt exactly the same! Know this, you are doing great! A good Mom will ask for help and is always concerned when her baby is not happy! You have gotten a lot of great advice! We were a big fan of the Gripe water and the leg pumping! Remember that what works for one baby may not work for another so try everything that you are comfortable with! My sugestion is in regards to you baby crying when you put him down. My boy did the same and I got a sling and it made everything better. That little boy of yours has been in a nice, warm, dark world for nine months and now he is in this loud, warm/cold, bright place. Being slinged to you will allow him to hear your bodly sounds which will instantly calm him and the sling makes it easy to do the things you need to do like dishes, studying, etc. There are many slings out there. I suggest either a Maya wrap (get a large)or a Moby wrap (you can wear him on your back as well with this one).
Here is a link to one of many sites that have

www.fireflybaby.com

Oh, with the pooping pain. My guy had the same thing and then I was thinking about it and realized that this little guy is dealing with and getting used to his body doing what it does as well. so poop and gas are going to elicit a cry either from truely hurting to just feeling weird, a new sensation. It didn't make watching him have pain any better but it at least made it seem purposeful in a way. (also, are you eating anything that could give him gas? If it gives you gas then it will go thru the breastmilk and give him gas.)

One last thing, your doing everything "right". Now, it is not going to work out everytime so you may have to change the approach, idea, product, Dr., formula (maybe pumping and giving him that when you are gone so he is not switching back and forth? Less gas maybe?), whatever. As long as you do your best and are willing to be open to other ideas, you are doing the 'right' thing. Trust yourself sweetie! Always ask for help and use what feels right for you and your boy! Keep up the great work and know it does get easier!!!!!

Oh, honey, I hear you. The first couple of months are the hardest, but you will get through this! I think we all have so many fears in the beginning. I was so exhausted all the time waking up every couple of hours to feed my daughter, but then even when she was sleeping, I still couldn't sleep because I wanted to keep checking her and make sure she was breathing, etc. I remember she cried so much in the beginning and I always felt like it was my fault, like I wasn't being a good enough mom. But I think the fact that you are concerned about being a good mom shows that you ARE a good mom. If you were not a good mom, you wouldn't care so much. SO first, I think you need to give yourself a break and not blame yourself for everything. Just do the best you can and show your baby as much love as you can. He will feel that and calm down bit by bit.

Little ones often have lots of gas. Their digestive systems are trying to figure out how to work. And he might not be reacting well to the formula. You might want to ask your Dr. about switching formulas. But definitely keep breastfeeding as much as possible also, as this will help get his digestive system on track and also boost his immune system.

Just follow all your Dr's advice and keep on keeping on...you will be fine! It DOES get easier and you will get the hang of things. It is just so hard in the beginning because everything is new and because nobody's getting any sleep! But everybody goes through it. You are not alone! Hang in there!

Hi Sunshine,

Try wearing your baby in a baby wrap or sling so that you can still have both hands to study and your son can still be sleeping on you and have that closeness. I wear my son all the time and it helps me have my hands free to take care of my toddler. Good luck! It does get better!

I feel your pain. My kids are 12 & 5 1/2, and I remember your exact feelings like it was yesterday. Remember this, you are the best thing to happen to this baby boy, and your scent alone brings him comfort. Anything else you do is a plus. There is a great book - The Baby Book- by Dr. Sears, it is very helpful. It talks about babies with different needs, and your little guy has many - and that is okay. My first born had many of the same issues, and I too was overwhelmed. Take a deep breath, his discomfort is nothing personal against you. His little body has to figure out how to digest. Help for gas - yes, the Mylicon drops. Also, burp him sitting up with your palm on his tummy and your thumb and pointer finger gently cradling his chin. This tummy pressure helps him pass the gas. Every baby is different. My daughter could only take the liquid (pre-made) formula - because the powder gave her more gas and constipation.
It is okay for him to cry. Try a pacifier, if he won't take one type, try several others. Some babies need to suck to soothe themselves. Baby swing or bouncy/vibrating seats are great. I swear by the baby sling, you can wear him while you study, shop, go for a walk, etc. It takes time for you two to get to know each other.
My best advice is let the Dad help, and you leave the room. Dad's way is just as good as yours, and he does not have to do it your way - remember he is learning too.
Be gentle and kind to yourself, take a deep breath, you really are the expert on this little guy. Blessings to you.