I Kissed the Babysitter. Oh My Gosh, Oh My Gosh.

When is the last time you went out on a date?????

It's time for you to start having a social life and a sex life, but not with the babysiter.

Well, I babysat my guy's daughter 28 years ago when I was 16 and he was 27. Three decades later, here we are!

Not sayin' it's ok, only suggesting it's not always as tragic as people think!

:)

You're both technically unmarried adults, you can do what you like. But you may have to find a new babysitter!

He is 18. If you want to date him, than do, as long as he feels the same way. If you don't, or he doesn't, than you should find a new sitter.

I find it hard to believe this is a real question. Just in case it is...

You need to find a new babysitter. What you are doing, is not healthy. You love him?? Right...please. You don't love him. You're lonely and desperate. You need to hire a nice woman to watch your child. If you want to find someone that bad, find a man...not a teenager...and not someone you HIRED as a 16 year old. Don't go down the road you already started to. You obviously have very little self control. You obviously don't have healthy boundaries. Part ways with him NOW, and don't look back. You are an ADULT, act like one. Move on. You're an ER nurse, an adult with a CHILD...a mother. He is an 18 year old boy, who is a babysitter. Please...that's pathetic. You feel weird about it, because it was a stupid decision.

This is pretty lame, don't you think?

OK I won't be harsh but if you feel bad then something is telling you ehat happened was not appropriate. Ask your self this .......would you have kissed him if you were 26 and he was 16? Or if you were 21 and he was 11?? Get the picture. I have no problem if you want to date younger men BUT not this one! I agree, apologize and move on..........come on, seriously

Wow, at this point the deed is done and I would just hope his mom and yours don't find out. I also would NOT kiss him again.

My advice would be to apologize to him again for your spontaneous lack of self control. Tell him that you value his care of your son and hope things can continue as they have been and you can move past it. If either has feelings beyond parent/babysitter, start looking for someone else to babysit.

Apologize.

Find a new FEMALE sitter.

Grow up.

First, you need a new babysitter. There is now a conflict of interest and it won't go away. Here's where my advice may differ from others. IMO in most cases this age difference AT THIS TIME can be an issue. 18 is very young. 10 years from know, not so much. However, I have seen relationships like this work. I have some good friends whom I have know for years who have a 19 year difference of age. She is older. They met when he was 17 at the restaurant that we all worked at. When he was 19, she left her husband (he also worked there) for him. What a scandal it was! I'm not going to say that it was easy for them or for anyone to accept, there were a lot of fights with and between both sides of their families, but they have now been happily married to each other for over 25 years. For them the age issue was a non issue. Society still accepts men being ten years older than women, but there is still judgement if it is the woman who is older. So, if you are BOTH interested in each other, it is really no one else's business as you are BOTH adults. Your son is young enough that he will be minimally effected if at all by a change of sitter, and you already know that this man is good with and loves your son. The downside would be, that if this is just hormones, and it very well could be, and it doesn't work out, then you do have the complications of him being removed from your son's life permanently, and also the fallout due to the fact that his mother is friends with yours. I would suggest that you both sit down and have a GROWN UP conversation. If either of you cannot handle or are uncomfortable with that, then that is probably an indication that your making a mistake. And again, no matter what you decide, it is time to find a new sitter for your son. Good luck to you.

Hmmm. Possibly a troll.
So what are you going to do for child care if/when this blows up?
This is an employment situation for him - and to put it politely - you don't mess where you eat.
I mean, yes - Robin Williams married his kids nanny, so it does happen - but are you going to take this guys feelings seriously or are you looking for a quick tumble? Maybe he's less work that actually dating someone your own age? Is he going to take you to his prom? Is he somehow 'safer' because there's no way he's going to be ready for a serious commitment relationship?
Are you ready for the cougar / Mrs. Robinson comments because someone will bring it up sooner or later.

Thank goodness he's 18! Yes, get a new babysitter, tell him you are sorry about the whole kissing thing and just move on. You have an emotional attachment as he has watched your son so well all this time and it just sort of overloaded I think. Young men his age are very sexually charged and really admire older women, it isn't the end of the world but I do think pursuing anything more would be a huge mistake on your part. He is a kid, he is about to run out into the world and find out what it has to offer and he doesn't need a bunch of confusion and is most likely in no way ready to be what a fully grown woman needs in a relationship. IF you continued on it would most likely be him idolizing you and you breaking his heart ultimately. I have three sons and I wouldn't want that for them, you have a son, think of how you would feel if an older woman swept your 18 yr old baby off his new found adult feet and then dumped him for a grown up later, not fun for him at all. Timing is everything, it isn't that the age difference makes a relationship out of the question, but you didn't meet him when he was 25 or so, that is why I think it would be a huge mistake. When I was 28 I met a 20 yr old guy who was a great young man and was taken with me. He was very persistent!! But you know what I knew that he was just caught up in me but needed to pursue college and life with people his own age. I was married like a yr an a half later when he called again. I am SO glad I married a mature man and that he got to go on and experience life not tied down at such a young age. So even if he tries to come after you, I say be firm bc you are doing him a favor.
Good luck, I have a friend who married a much younger man that was barely legal at the time they wed and now she has a very hard life with a man who never learned how to provide or lead a relationship, she's like his mom. It's sad, but they are married so they both hang in there. Wish you the best.

Well, if you begin dating at least you know this is someone who will care for your son as a father ... honestly, I would not let the age thing interfere if you have feelings towards eachother, but I would also find a new sitter if you two do begin dating ... kinda like no interoffice dating.

I think this is Hot. Do you have feelings for him aside from him being your sitter? Then both of you should talk about it. Tell him what your feeling and dont be ashamed cause he wasnt underage. If you BOTH decide to take it further so be it. I have been with a younger man and it was wonderful. Its just like finding someone new with all the fireworks. If you too do date, you might want to do it discreetly due to him being your moms freinds son! But I say It sounds exciteing. You only live once.

End it, find a new sitter as this kiss could lead to questions as to whether or not you had a relationship with him as a child(under 18). As an ER nurse you have seen enough to know that this could be a can of worms that is so huge. This boy will need to find someone his own age at this time. If you want to be a cougar wait until you are a little older and go with someone of an age who could not be questioned. If you are that lonely for companionship find an interest be it sport, hobby, school and you in the process of doing something you are interested in you may find a person or group of people to hang out with or even date that are more appropriate. Even if you decide that young guys right now are your thing, make sure they are of age and you didn't know them at all before they became the age of majority. Don't put your children, no matter the age through a possibly embarrassing sexual predator case if anyone would happen to persue this even though you say it happened after he turned 18.

Sorry not to judge you , but it made me feel kind of sick to read this.
You can do what you want its legal and you can't help your feelings. He's probably not long term relationship quality though being as he's so young.

Yeah, I don't know. Worser things can happen. However, I would ask yourself why you found yourself kissing him in the first place. He left probably feeling just as confused as you were. This will create a whole new situation now, and you might need to find yourself a new sitter.

This may not be illegal, but it sure seems immoral on many levels. Like a betrayal of your & your mom's friendship with his mother, of his loyalty and employment, of your son's respect for him......weird.

hehe...that gave me a good laugh. He IS an adult. At first I thought you were going to say you kissed a 16 yr old. Whew! Thank goodness that's not the case. You are only 10 years older. If it was a 28 year old man and a 18 year old girl, most people think that's okay. It's not like there is a 40 year difference.

That being said, he is very young and things are very new for him, and I can't imagine it will be a successful relationship. BUT it could be. There's no way to really know since none of us know either of you.

But my logical self tells me that you should stop any future possible anything. Too much seems set up for failure. If it's too hard, maybe get a new babysitter. Are you able to get out and date much? Maybe do that if you can to see if you can find a man that is in a more established part of his life (job, education, etc) who would make a better companion.

hehe...

My brother and his wife are 10 years apart, they met when she was 19 got married when she was 20. Hes legal. I wouldn't want a man so young because they take so long to mature, but that's me.

he may be of age, but he's only 18...think back to when you werr 18...he still has a lot to explore and experience...if you were to date him, is this life style what you want your child exposed to?? and if he didn't explore and experience this life style (as everyone that age should) he would be missing out and it wouldn't be fair. apologize for what happened, find a new babysitter and move on...you made a mistake.

Ummm, please call him apologize for taking advantage of him and find a new sitter. He may be 18, but you came from a position of power and it was wrong on so many levels to kiss him!

M

Pretend it never happened. Don't talk abOut it with him and don't do it again. You are not going tO have a healthy relationship with an 18 yro. It will end up being drama and scandal.

Well, at least he's legal and good to your son. Given a lot of posts on this site, I have to be happy that you already know he's great with your kid and not an abusive freak. However, you've kind of stepped into a mine field here. He's YOUNG and while once-in-a-blue-moon it may work, he has a lot of living and exploring ahead of him. The best and most MATURE thing you could do is either never mention it again and certainly never do it again, or, if he brings it up, tell him you're really sorry but it's just a very bad idea. You may need to start looking for a new babysitter if one of you has feelings they can't control. There's also the issue of him being the son of your mother's close friend. That could also cause HUGE problems! Step away -step away!

He was the closest male to you that is legal. You need to date and leave the guy you once knew since he was 16 alone. This is a bit creepy to me. Find Mrs. Doubtfire or Nanny Mcafee look a like. If you kiss these two than I will be really concerned about you needing to get out! Go out with friends.

*Just Joking*

sounds fake - the male babysitter alone makes me question credibility. i know there are guys that babysit but it's pretty unusual unless it's a family friend...

I'm just speaking on my mommy instincts. If a guy was 26 around my 16 year old and they started dating when she was 18, I don't know how I'd feel about it... actually I'd be mad b/c to me a 28 yr old and an 18 year old woman is not okay. It's not as bad as say, a scenario where the guy had been around since my daughter was 14 or 10 or 5, then he'd probably never see the light of day if he came around her. I don't know, I'm trying not to judge but I did feel sick when I thought about my own daughter or even me at 18 with a 28 yr old man (my dad would've been all over that guy lol).
I am on the fence leaning towards not okay (because I associated it with my own daughter), but I don't think you should pursue it. At 18 he won't be looking for the same things you would be. I don't know what I say about the babysitter thing. I may look for a new one, but it depends how well I know him. If he is not one to hold a grudge and not about vengeance at all, etc and won't take it out on your son then you're all good if he accepts nothing can happen.

If you think something is wrong with it then don't pursue it. You'll just be guilt tripping yourself all the time. I can understand that part because I personally would cringe thinking at 10 he would be a newborn, I guess sometimes to me age is a factor because I would cringe at the 18 and 8, 16 and 6, etc. No offense to you, it doesn't bother some people, but just my opinion.

Just from his mom and your mom's perspective, I think you may have a hard time convincing them y'all weren't "together" when he was 16. You know how those rumors get started.

You need to find another sitter. But you owe it to him to explain why. He's attractive and he will probably look more attractive every time he comes to the house. Cut it now before you do something else that you will REALLY regret.

I can understand why you think you love him. You've known him a long time and he's been taking care of your baby, certainly something you're probably looking for in a man. Plus, younger men can be very handsome.

My husband is quite a bit younger than me and if you do the math, it would be pretty gross when I was 21 and he was 15! However, we met later on in life. I also dated a man who was 10 years younger than me. Not tragic by any means.

I think he probably needs more years to mature before it could work. His world is not your world at this time. He should be off to college or trade school and you're already established in the world. His world should be full of college parties, finding himself, studying and figuring out what he wants to do with his life. If he was out of school that would be different.

If I were you, talk to him and see how he feels about the whole thing. It's not fair to just dismiss him without talking. Probably it was novelty for him and you--maybe just a physical thing for both of you. He probably loves your child and the idea of you. But is he truly ready for a grown-up relationship at 18?

I would cool it for a few years. If you're both meant to be together you can pick things up when he's a bit older and ready to make more adult decisions.

Yikes, I too thought you wre gonna say you kissed a 16 yr old!

If you don't want this to go any further then yea you probably should get a new sitter...

My husband is 10yrs older than me and we met when I was 18... I was "the babysitter" but not HIS babysitter LOL. I babysat all his friends kids