I feel your pain. I've been a sahm mom for 5 years after working full time with no support for 17 years. Making good money too toward the end of that time....
If ONLY we could do all we do at home AND draw a paycheck for it! Honestly, I do SO much work now, not just for the kids but ALSO for my husband who always travels, that I don't feel guilty for one minute. We're on a tight budget with one income, but part of my difficult job is CONSTANTLY cutting costs and pulling financial planning miracles and balancing acts to get everything everyone needs, and cut other stuff! I had to manage an IRS catastrophe for him that was a huge time sink for 3 years...I do all the bills, all the house upkeep, lawn mowing, shoveling, maintenance ON TOP OF daily kid stuff, no help whatsoever, and I'm HOMESCHOOLING because we live in a bad district and can't afford the private school! How much would it cost my husband to have a full time nanny, maid, maintenance guy, school and classes for kids, and financial assistant? A lot less than the groceries I eat, lemme tell ya.
I don't often buy him or myself gifts, but when I have, he has been very appreciative, because he doesn't shop for himself either, and it's the thought that counts.
Don't feel bad! You are priceless! And good men get lots of satisfaction from supporting their family if they are able.
Now, if my husband was the only one working and I had a nanny and a cushy life would I feel bad buying him gifts with his own money?...NOPE! He'd get even more gifts!!! :)