I Need Advice for My Mouthy 6 Year Old!!!!!

Run don't walk to the library and get Jim Fayes book " Love and Logic. Read it, share it with your spouse and see if you can find a support group in your area.
Empowered, high maintenence kids require specific consistant structure to get along. You are going to be dealing with these issues for a long time. Get a plan in place and start working the plan. If dad wont' cooperate, so be it, you can start managing your daughter's behavior before it becomes completely engrained.
I have taught middle school kids for 26 years and raised my own high maintenence 17 year old. This really works, from both teacher and mom experience.
Good luck, E.

i just say loudly, "oh oh oooooh PAUSE GAME!"..."It makes mommy feel sad when you say it like that, can you say it in your normal voice instead? do you want to practice? Ok, you ready? UNPAUSE!! Is there something you wanted to say?"

6 yr olds love this game :)...and it gives you a tiny timeout in which to talk it over.

B.,
My first advise is to try and ignore all bad behavior. It's hard. You need to continue what you are doing and not listen to her when she gets that way. My 6 year old is the same way. I have told her I will not help her while she is acting like that. I have to hold my ground. If I give up to fast she will act worse the next time. When she asks nice and polite I will say thank you for using nice manners and I will help her immediatley.
My next advise is to spend some quality time with just her. Reading a book, going to the park, getting ice cream so she knows she is important. She might be jealous of something going on in the house. I don't spend quality time with her when she is upset. It won't mean anything to her. You need to spend the time when you and her are happy and things are running smooth.
Taking things away has never worked. My girl is trying to show me who is the boss. She is also trying to find out where she fits into the family. You need to put it back in her lap. She needs to know that she can make decisions too. If her pillow is not soft enough ask her what she wants to do about it. Or ask her what she wants you to do about it. When she is really angry I tell my litte one that I will talk to her as soon as she can calm down. She is starting to come around. She will calm down and say sorry. That is a big step. After she is calm I can talk to her and WE can make a decision about whatever is bothering her at the time.
STAND YOUR GROUND and Good Luck!

I know this sounds odd, but go to the library and check out "Mrs. Piggle Wiggle" books. There is one chapter about the "talker-backer cure." I have found these books are a humorous way to talk about behavioral issues with my kids.

Hi B.,
Try to stop all punishing and ignore this behavior for a while. Support your son and give him the attention that she is seeking. Make sure to give her a lot of hugs and kisses and positive attention when she is calm and pleasant, and just no response when she is not. She is just trying to figure out how to get what she wants and she has resorted to a way that isn't very pleasant for you. Teach her, by your example, how to interact with others in calm and positive ways that make everyone involved feel good. Remember, when you escalate, she will escalate. When you are calm she will eventually have to meet you at that calm place. Be consistant. This won't end soon. It will take work.
Take care,
B.