I Need Help!!!! Having Problems W/my 22 Month Old @ Bedtime

It sounds to me like she might be ready to give up her nap. Some kids do at this age. As long as they are getting enough sleep every day it doesn't matter if it is all at night or if some of it is at nap time. It took me a long time to realize with my oldest that I was wasting too much time each day trying to get him to nap. Eventually I gave him quiet time early in the afternoon and if he wasn't asleep by 3:00, we skipped his nap that day and he was ready to go to bed much earlier that night without fighting it. Some days he would nap and somedays not, and bedtime was earlier on the days he didn't take a nap. He was completely done with naps by 2 1/2. My second didn't give hers up until 3, and the third one about 3 1/2. The younger ones took naps until they were older because the older ones had evening activities and they were also up for school, so the younger ones don't always get as much sleep at night as the first one. Best wishes!
B.

K. ~
You have some good responses. This came up at work not too long ago, and everyone who had dealt with this suggested a baby gate at her door. That way you're not completely closing her in, but she can't wander out, either. One friend had to stack 2 gates because her little one climbed over! How late is she getting up in the morning that she takes a late nap? Maybe if you can shift her sleeping times ~ she goes to bed a little earlier, wakes up earlier, then naps earlier, that could help. You could always try a little Benadryl at bedtime for a couple nights (not to cause a dependancy, but just to help adjust to the times). I never did that, but my son was ADHD and it wouldn't have worked anyways, but I know people do that when they're taking trips so that the kids will sleep.
Good Luck~
D.

I just went through that with my 2 1/2 yo. She wouldn't stay in bed for anything. She would come out to us over and over again. I tried the whole Supper Nanny thing where if she came out, I wouldn't say anything just take her back to bed and tuck her in. Most of the time, she was following me down the hallway. This went on for like 3 hours one day and then again the next day for almost the same. Needless to say, I was exhausted! It's not easy dragging a 2 yo back to bed 70-80 times in one night. One the second night- after about 2.5 hours, I told her that if she didn't stay in her bed that I would have to shut her door (I know it sounds mean, but I was desparate!) She got out of her bed, so I shut her door (of course, I was standing right outside her room). She screamed for like 30 seconds and then it got quiet. I opened her door and she was in her bed ready to go to sleep. I went in and hugged her (I was feeling SUPER guilty) and she said "I will stay in bed now". We have had no problems since.

The late naps were also a problem for her too. I started to wake her up earlier in the am and so that she will nap earlier. That seems to have worked for us too.

Good luck to you!

Try some form of calcium before putting her down for bed. Formula, milk, non-milk, whatever. Calcium is excellent for making us want to sleep.
Plus, when we're not moving around, like at nighttime, our bodies have the chance to absorb that calcium and improve our bones. During the day when we move about, it's being used as energy and we can get depleted. So nighttime's a good time to recoup.

Hello,

You may need to cut out her nap altogether. Or maybe try and let her nap only for 45 minutes to an hour. If you can stand the crankiness until bedtime, she may go down easy for you at 7:00-7:30. Hope this helps!

I didn't have to fight this battle as soon as you. My daughter never tried climbing out, but once she started keeping her diaper dry all night and we changed her to underware, my husband wanted to switch her to a toddler bed- at 3 years. She used the potty excuse a lot in the beginning, so we told her she was allowed to get up once. She does that every night after I put her to bed- within 2 minutes of being tucked in. I am usually brushing my own teeth at that time, so she goes potty and then wants to be tucked in again. I am good with that.
What I was not good with was that she was going to bed at 8:15 pm and she would talk in her bed until 10 pm! (She also still takes 45 min- 1 1/2 hour nap.) We don't want to stop that yet- she still needs it. Follow your gut on that!
Just this week I started a new experiment! I set a timer for 3 minutes and after all the routine stuff, we sing ABCs and say prayers I let her hit start and then she has her time to talk to me in the dark. Once her 3 minutes are up, then I go to bed and she stays in her bed and has been quiet!
What has worked for us is just setting rules and sticking to them. When she was talking, when I couldn't take it anymore I would say 'That's so sad that you continue talking. Because you are not sleeping yet, you cannot a) watch TV in the morning (she likes PBS am shows) b) ride your bike before we leave the house c) listen to your music in the car.' -How many things got taken away depended on how much she continued talking. I usually enforced something every 15 minutes. Taking away the things that were important to her for not folowing the rules helped her learn there were consequences to her actions.
We all slip sometimes, but knowing there are limits seems to help!
Good luck.

hi K. -
i have a friend who wanted her child to go to bed earlier and earlier so what she did was started her routine about 10-15 minutes earlier every nite (ie - if you usually START your routine w/ your daughter at 8 pm, start it at 7:45, the next nite start it at 7:30, the next at 7:15, etc. until you reach a time where she's sleeping by 8/8:30 - probably not starting any earlier than 7). i actually use this routine w/ my 2 year old son when he has "bad" days & it works! my son at a little over 2 1/2 years old decided on his own he was done w/ naps. against our wishes!! AHHH! i think 2 is too young to be done w/ naps though! GOOD LUCK!! let me know how it goes!!
~T.
ps- incentives work at her age too ... "stay in your bed all nite long & you'll get a prize in the morning - get out of your bed & i'll take the prize away until you stay in it all nite again!" ~ i used this for my son for potty training & he's never had an accident! don't know if any of this helps!!

I would say to try cutting the nap out see if that helps. My 2 1/2 year old son stopped wanting to take a nap when he turned 2. I still make him have quiet time each afternoon but if he has a nap, he is up until at least 11pm. NOt good! lol
Good luck to you!
R.

We had a heck of a time with our now 5 yr old when he was the same age. We would sit in the hallway until he fell asleep. Then we closed his door. He has a fan in there to drown out noise. We put wind chimes on his door so we knew when he was opening it. That helped us divert him before he made it into bed with us.
After a couple of weeks, we moved further down the hall. And continued until we could read him a book and he would go to sleep on his own. I have also realized it's easier to put him to bed earlier. The later he stays up, the more of a battle. Just be consistent and patient.
Also, do you keep an eye on sugar consumption? We used to give my son fruit for a bedtime snack(good for him but full of sugar). After we cut sugar out, he started sleeping better.

We went through this with my son when we moved him to his toddler bed too. I think it's quite common! Some advice that I received that was helpful was to set up a baby gate at the child's bedroom door so s/he cannot get out. There will be crying, even some screaming... and they may just fall asleep on the floor in front of the gate at first, but they will get the idea that they cannot get out of their room after bedtime. It's worth a try! Good luck!

Hi K.:

I do think her nap time might be part of the problem. I would try a nap right after lunch and then have her back up within an hour and a half and then stick with the same bedtime each night. You are doing the right thing by being faithful to a bedtime routine and placing her back in bed when she gets up -I know it is tedious and you are tired but you need to keep doing that and eventually she will get the picture. Explain to her firmly and lovingly that she needs to stay in her bed (she is safest there)and then give her a "special" item that belongs to you (or your husband)that she can sleep with. I would try giving her a t-shirt of yours or a blanket you use or some other special item you have. That will help her to feel close to you during the night. I hope that helps.

My son's a couple months older than your little girl and is also in a toddler bed. When we first switched him, he always stayed in bed, I think because he was afraid to fall out. Once he realized he could get out, he would get up and play with his toys. We put everything away that he might consider a play object and he now stays in bed again. We also close his door, because we've always had it closed. If she's getting out of her room and you're not comfortable closing the door, you could put a baby gate up in her doorway. She'll probably get upset about it at first, but just reassure her that you still love her and will be there for her if she needs you. I would try moving up her nap, or cut it out completely and just put her to bed earlier. Hope you find a solution that works and get back to a good night's sleep!

I had the same problem with my little girl! (boys are easier, never had that with my son) Anyways there is a chemical in your brain that helps you sleep called melatonin. Its what naturally puts you t5o sleep. You can go to any health food store and buy the same stuff with no side affects. You cna buy tablets or liquid, you want the liquid. Start with just 0.5mls and voilla!!!! MAGIC I TELL YA! I was very leary at first about giving her something to sleep but it works like a charm with noooooo side affects and its definatley worth a try to get some much needed mommy and daddy time. Try this along with a routine and shell be sleeping in no time!
Mom of 2

perhaps she just wants to be with you or your husband? I assume one or both of you work, perhaps the 3 or 4 hours she gets to be with you prior to bedtime isn't enough for her?

wow! that sounds exactly like what happened to us when our daughter (now 4) turned 2yrs. After losing a lot of sleep and much anguish I used a technique from Supernanny. I don't know if it has a name but essentially we would sit in her room while she fell asleep. If she got up we wouldn't talk to her we would just keep putting her back in bed. It worked. It took a while the first few days, but eventually she was happy because we were with her and she could relax enough to fall asleep. Before she turned 2 I could put her in bed wide awake and she would just entertain herself until she fell asleep. I don't know what happens at that age to make this happen but it was dramatic. Give it a try - we still have to sit but she is asleep within 10 minutes.

I've been going through the same thing with my 2 yr old. He just had his dr appt on Mon and my dr said to let him cry as long as it takes, now its a little easier for me since my son is still in his crib (he doesn't try to get out) but my dr said they had to hold their daughters door closed until she fell asleep so she couldn't get out--sounds cruel doesn't it? But he said it took 5 days of following the same routine and then she was going to bed with no problem! It has been three days for us and it just took 8 min for him to go down for his nap. Now as far as the time we had the same problem but I'll tell you our routine now. I wake him up at 7:00 when I wake up my older son for school, we have breakfast and I let him do his own thing til about 8:30 then we get washed up and dressed, have a snack about 9:00 and then we play til 10:30, then I have him go to the bathroom(we're potty training), brush his teeth, he picks four books to read, then I tuck him in and walk out and DON'T go back in--unless I think he's hurt--yesterday he tried to take his shirt off and got himself stuck! I don't let him sleep longer than 2 hrs or 2:00 depending on how long it takes him to fall asleep. Then we start the nighttime routine at 8:00--bathroom,teeth,pj's and reading, alittle earlier if he needs a bath, and he's asleep by 9. I was getting him to sleep by 8 but he was waking up at 6 and I don't want him up that early! But he was one that was up until 10 or 11 like your daughter so it can change you just have to be consistent! And by the way it WILL be hard at first just stick to it, our first night he screamed for 1 1/2 hrs and threw up four times! Sorry this is so long and Good Luck! You can always e-mail me if you need someone to talk to--I totally understand what you are going through!

I would definitely stop giving her the afternoon late nap. If you could go without it that would be great, but if you can't you need to do it earlier. I had to stop my son's naps around that time also.

I put up a baby gate in my son's doorway and he couldnt come out. I put a basket of books (not toys) in his room and he ever got up before me he would just look through his books. Good luck!! I feel your pain. It took us about a week to finally get in this routine.

Hi K.-

I have had the same issues with my 22 month old. I wrote on westmiparents.com when it started and got a ton of response. It seems to be fairly common. I think part of it is just their excitement about the world around them? A whole new understanding? Noah used to LOVE going to bed and just changed over night. It has gotten much better he still doesn't want to go but he usually only cries a few minutes. For some reason he hasn't discovered climbing out of his crib yet so he is still captive which makes it easier on us. (as long as he doesn't cry forever!) He is back to 8:30 - 9:00 to sleep and 7:30 getting up! Yeah. Sorry no real advice except to ride it out. I think it will get better shortly.

I would try to do everything earlier, nap earlier, and bedtime earlier. What time does she wake up in the morning. Get her up by 7 if she's sleeping later, then she'll be ready to take her nap sooner. Anywhere from 6-8 is a good target for bedtime. I'd have to guess that she's overtired on top of having the excitement of a new bed. It'll be tough, but worth if for everyone! Good luck.

K.,
We just switched our 25 month old. We locked the door. He didn't always get up, but when he did and realized he couldn't get out, he usually went right back to bed. Sometimes he cries, but it usually only lasts a few seconds. We have a video monitor in there, so we can see when he gets in and out of bed. We also have a step stool in there. Even though he can get up there on his own, when he is tired, it is a little too high.

Hi K.,

I can completely relate. My daughter turns 2 on 9/15 and we've experienced a lot of the same so you are not alone. I do have a few suggestions for you. We moved my daughter into a toddler bed after she fell out of her crib before 18 months. When we did this, we also removed the door from her bedroom and installed a gate instead. The only time we use the gate is when she is sleeping. This will prevent her walking into your room at all hours of the night. We've also placed some of her favorite little toys and books on a small corner of her bed. Our toddler bed is a conversion from her crib so it worked to do this. When she wakes up at night, and is more awake, she can just play with these items and eventually, she'll go back to sleep. We also put one of those little glow bugs in her bed to help her get to sleep or feel secure when she is sleeping and wakes up - and use as a cue to go to sleep. We took the night light out of her room because we found that when her room has light, she wants to stay awake. She, like your daughter, doesn't want to miss out on anything and prefers to go to sleep at 10:30 - 11:00. I noticed this trend, however, when the days were getting longer. So, I would darken her window with heavier curtains/towels so she would go to sleep a little earlier. Now that the days are getting shorter, she's going to bed earlier... 8:30 - 9:30 timeline. And, at daycare they are scaling back on her naps/duration of the naps. This is actually helping but you have to monitor what works best. If she doesn't get a nap at all, she's asleep by 6. If she takes a shorter nap, she's asleep between 8:30 - 9:00. Which, from our side, is a much better time than 10:30 - 11:00.

Not sure if I have helped or hindered but I hope that this will at least give you peace of mind in the fact that you are not alone on this one. It's been a constant battle for us and we've found some trends and go with them. Each day is different. Sometimes she doesn't want to put her p.j.'s on because she knows that we're winding down to sleep and she just wants to continue to play.

Let me know how this works out and if any of these suggestions work for you if you do indeed try them. If you have something else that works, please share it.

Take care,
K.

K. the late nap is definitely the problem - she's not tired until much later (lets be honest, if I was lucky enough to have a nap in the afternoon I'd be able to stay up really late too!). Some kids just don't like naps - what about just having a nice rest with her in the middle of the day - if she doesn't sleep she'll be really exhausted by 6 or 7 and can have an early night. What about driving her around in the car after lunch to help her nap (worked with one of my kids). Good luck. Alison

It sounds like she is testing your authority as a parent. If you want her to stay in bed, then you need to lovingly set that boundary and stick to it. My daughter had a similar problem, so my husband took off her doorknob and put it on backwards. That way we could lock her in her room. This was for her safety. We did not want her getting up at night, falling down the stairs, or playing downstairs by herself. The first night she screamed and screamed to get out. It broke my heart. I went in and comforted her, but told her she needed to stay in bed. She tried to get out again... and I let her cry awhile. Then again I went in to comfort her and repeated my directions that she needed to stay in bed. This time she listened and went to sleep. From time to time she retests if the door is unlocked (as we haven't always kept it locked) just to check. She is totally ok with this limit now and even asks me to shut the door at night. And I can rest assured knowing she is safely in her bed in her room. If you don't like the idea of locking the door, Dr. Dobson recommends enforcing the stay-in-bed rule with a spanking. I just read this last night in his book called The 'new' strong-willed child.

My only advice is CONSISTENCY.....she's probably just adjusting to the new bed, and any other changes in her life. Are you potty training her, too? She might be overloaded with new big-girl activities - too much, too soon type of thing. I would just keep doing what you're doing, be extremely consistent (put her back to her bed immediately when she gets out) and eventually she'll get it. If she's anything like my firstborn she'll resist everything and test you 'til the bitter end!! Girls - gotta love 'em!!!! :)
Best wishes!

I agree with the posters who suggest trying to make everything earlier. My daughter turned 2 last month and she still takes a 2 hour nap around 11:30 or noon. And then she's in bed by 7:30 or 8 every night. She doesn't fight us and most nights, she goes right to sleep. I've found that if we're out on the weekends and get her to bed later, she's MUCH harder to put to bed and sometimes doesn't fall asleep until close to 10 - then, the next day, she's awful.