I Need Motivation

Updated on February 27, 2008
C.M. asks from Irving, TX
16 answers

I wonder if anyone has been stuck in a "rut" after having a baby. How do you get yourself back with motivation and consistency? I feel like I'm going stir crazy and the cold weather hasn't helped. Is there a place where mommies go to get their sanity back? Any suggestions?

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I get my sanity at the gym! My son goes to their kids club childcare room there, while I workout, clear my head and if there's time - swim in the pool, hang out in the dry sauna or hot tub. Love it!
LA Fitness has month-to-month memberships for $30/month - no long-term contracts. And they have GREAT classes: yoga, pilates, step aerobics (love this!); kickboxing; weight/strength training class, cycling, etc.

Also, don't know where you live... but being active in a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers; www.mops.org) like group is helpful. You get hear advice/support from other moms.
My church offers MOMS Connection (similar to MOPs) ... let me know if you live near Plano and would like more info about MOMS Connection.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

http://www.momsclub.com/

Good luck, some great advice on here!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Moms groups can be very helpful for stay at home moms. It can be very isolating! Try out several until you find one that clicks with you. La Leche League meetings can also be a great social, supportive place for breastfeeding moms.

Take up a hobby, something you've always wanted to do that would be a good reason to get into something new. Gardening, sewing, yoga whatever. Babies are really pretty portable - she's too little to squirm away from you and you can take her wherever you need or want to go. Think of it as providing stimulating scenery!

It can help to have one "focus" thing for each day. For example, on Monday's we go to storytime at the library (which are great for babies!), on Tuesdays we grocery shop, on Wednesdays we go to moms group, on Thursdays we go to playgroup... for some reason when there is nothing "on the calendar" it can be strangely hard to motivate yourself.

Connect with other moms of babies - that's the most important thing!

B.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Do you have a chance to get out without the baby? Sometimes I 'need' to get up and dress from head to toe with makeup on. When my husband gets home from work I might go to Starbucks or get a bubble tea from a local vietnamese noodle house, and I will go look around at a resale shop or the mall. Or get a pedicure, that is enjoyable and refreshing for me.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not sure what area you're in, but I highly recommend finding mom's group. Hospitals often have them - I know the Presby hospitals do, as does Baylor. It absolutely helped me stay sane in this first year. If nothing else, it was an excuse to get out of the house once a week and talk to adults!

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A.V.

answers from Dallas on

Here are the things I do to stay sane:

1) Go to the gym. It's free babysitting and you get to do something for yourself. If I am not that motivated to work out, I'll just take a book and do the recumbent bike.

2) Join a MOMS Club. There are usually tons of activities for you on your own as well as with your daughter. It doesn't matter that she doesn't enjoy a playgroup, playground, etc yet. Just go to the activities for you! You'll meet tons of moms.

3) Find a mom that would watch your child for four hours a week (or so) and you return the favor. This works great for me! And, your daughter will enjoy the socialization.

Email me if you don't know how to find a Mom's club.

Good luck!

A.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

try zumba dance lessons.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Uh, yes. You have lost you. Find her! Spend some extra time on yourself. If you can afford it, go to a salon or buy a new outfit that is practical for a Mommy, but makes you feel good when you wear it and have a date with your husband once a week or once a month. Clean up, dress up and go to the park or the zoo or make special times to get your baby out in the world.
Teach a Sunday school class or play tennis or get with other adults who enjoy a favorite hobby or activity. It is actually good to leave the little one with other responsible caretakers from time to time. Just breathe!
C. S.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I went through the same things after my son was born, only it was August so rather than cold it was heat that was keeping us inside. First, decide every night what your plan for the next morning is. Even little things, like "get up, shower, etc." I found if I had a plan, no matter how small, it motivated me to get out of my jammies. One of my favorite places was the bookstore. You may or may not find someone to talk to, but at least I was out of the house. I'd find a cozy chair and good book while the baby slept. If the baby was up, we'd be in the child section playing and reading books (even to my 3 month baby). Chances are you might find another mom or two doing the same things. Also, not sure where you live, but there are many local mom groups that get together on a weekly basis for play dates etc. Also, remember this "rut" is temporary. You will get your sanity back. I promise!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hey C.,
I am still not having much luck with consistency and my dd is 16 months old. I joined a Mommy Meet up group and that helps. It motivates me to get out and socialize. Just go to http://www.meetup.com/topics/ and locate a meet up group that is in your area and meets around times that you think that you and your dd would be able to make it between naps. I go to the park as often as possible when it is nice, ready for spring and summer so we can get out even more.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C.,
There are a lot of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups in our area. They typically meet in churches, but you don't have to go to church to go to one of these groups. I coordinate the group at First Baptist Church in Euless, we meet the first Wed. of the month from 9:15-11:45 am. We provide childcare for free, and the first meeting is free of charge (usually a $5 fee). These groups are great because you get to have mommy time, while the kids play in childcare. I think most groups have a speaker, a creative activity, and time for moms to talk and have a good time. If Euless is nowhere close to you, go to www.mops.org and look up a group near you.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

First, find another mother you can swap out child care with. Sign up for a class at the community college near you, or try your hand at doing some volunteering. You need to be challenged in a way that stimulates your mind and mayabe leads you into a career. You just need an outside activity to spice up your life.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

Ohhh, C. I can so relate.

After we moved here - my son was 15 months old I really needed something. My husband used to work for another company and traveled all the time!!!

I was so blessed to run into a woman who introduced me to MOPS (I attended the one and met some wonderful friends at First Baptist Church in Lewisville) They had great insight for child issues, fed and nurtured me along the way. It gave me time to go and know that my son was being well cared for in their child care area while I got to learn, talk and laugh with other Moms. I really liked the balance it gave me back and helped make me a better Mom.

Since then I have found all kinds of groups on meetup.com.
I'm sure you can find a few Mom's groups to try there.

Best of Luck!

M.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

Ok I used to live in Keller and They have a moms club, which when my kids were little I lived by it. A great group of new moms that get together and play bunco and hang out and do lots of stuff with the kiddos. It is nice to know other moms who are going through the same thing then you don't feel alone belive me we have all felt that way. I think with my first child I stayed in the house in sweat pants or jammies for almost four months before even doing my hair/. It is easy to loose it some times. I can hook you up with a moms club just let me know where you live. I am now in southlake,tx.
Good luck
K.

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L.N.

answers from Dallas on

Destination Maternity on LBJ and Pea in the Pod on NW Hwy offer free Infant Massage classes. It might be a great way to do something fun with you DD and meet other moms. I agree with the another post that you should have something on the calendar aeveryday that will get you out of the house. I know i'ts cold but bundling up and taking a walk in the park might turn out to be more fun than it sounds like.

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M.E.

answers from Dallas on

What you need is some "YOU" time. 5 minutes even, to just go outside and think about everything. You have gone through a HUGE change this year and it will take some time to get back on track.
After gaining 80lbs while pregnant, I got home and just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep forever, but in the real world , you cannot do that.
Me, having never been on a diet and always naturall skinny, I had to face actually heating healthy. So I did. And with my new diet, I began to feel better about myself. I started taking 5 minutes to write in my journal , went to the mall to just walk around (as exercise) , went to the Borders or Barnes and Nobles ,and time to myself, and I slowly began to get my motivation back.
Having friends and family that support you helps too.
Just give it some time. I promise it will get better. It sounds like you are busy, being a stay at home mom and a part time student.
You can even go to a massage place for just 30 minutes. I really think you just need to realize how important you are, and right now you are in limbo as you have to focus on so many other things besides yourself. 5 MINUTES OF YOU. Try it.
Good luck!

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